Fiance upset because I said hi to a coworker and called her Miss

[Subhumanoidal]

Well, if you reread what you wrote and how you wrote it, don't you see how it certainly sounds as though you think she doesn't trust you?


Well, look at it this way:
if a person has to leave the room to talk on the phone, what is being said that they don't want you to overhear?

I tend to leave the room on calls. If it's a short call from a doctor's office or something like that, maybe not. But the longer the call the more prone I am to get up and leave.
I'm also prone to walk and pace around when on the phone, so also a reason to leave the room, so I don’t disturb anyone else with my pacing.

I think if it's a new thing that didn't happen before and suddenly starts, that's questionable, but for some it's just natural.

 

[FollowingtheWay]

@Dincali I’m seeing some statements that raise some relationship flags. I know they are red flags because I experienced some of this in my marriage and I’m just beginning to get it resolved 10 years after our wedding day. You are experiencing some symptoms of deeper issues my friend and you both are going to have to come to terms with your past at some point and be vulnerable towards each other for things to get right. Personally I would NOT marry till you and her can both be open books to each other in sharing your pasts. Looking back I would have done so many things differently namely vulnerability but also seeking real pre-marital counseling and advice and not the cheesy surface (just try harder) stuff but the things that bring stuff up about our families and our childhood wounds, brokenness. Etc. your going to be suprized what you find. Why your fiancé does the things she does and why you do the things you do. Kind of stuff. Start tackling that before the wedding and you will be miles ahead
. I’m suggesting The book Boundaries. I’d highly suggest you and your Fiancé go through that book individually. Then their one called Boundaries in marriage. This will go a long way into resolving these issues. Other book is vertical marriage- Dave and Ann Wilson has been a blessing as well.

 

[Karlon]

Yes, i saw that after posting.
"nosy" is a good description for most women

i'm not in readily agreement with that but there is are many variables to consider. maybe it's territorial but around here, it's definitely a trust characteristic.

 

[JohnDB]

I am glad that I asked you to explain because I thought that you might be implying something else with your use of the word "bicycle". Not the "bi" part, but more the "cycle" part.

It is a reference to those she had physically intimate relations with....
Calling them boyfriends is being grace giving.
There are some other euphemisms used often but I thought I would use the most common one.

 

[JohnDB]

Having too many girlfriends is also not good for men...duh

Why blame women when men do the SAME thing.

It isn't good for anyone.
The more partners in your history the less enjoyment received from your current.

 

[JTB]

We've been a couple for two years and engaged since last October.

Our church requires a counseling class and the then a wait period before getting married in the church. We will be taking the class this October.

I would say that couples should have to spend at least 1 week auditing divorce court before they are issued a marriage license

 

[seekingthemindofChrist]

It is a reference to those she had physically intimate relations with....
Calling them boyfriends is being grace giving.
There are some other euphemisms used often but I thought I would use the most common one.

That is exactly what I thought you meant.

So, when you said...

I'm thinking that she was the town bicycle myself with a body count in the double digits at least if not three digits.

...you were basically saying to this brother in Christ, "Hey, brother...I am thinking that your fiancé was a slut who was "ridden' by as many as 100 or more men?

Do not not see how totally disrespectful that is?

 

[seekingthemindofChrist]

That should have read "Do you not see how totally disrespectful that is?"

I was so stunned that you said that that I could not even type correctly.

 

[Lynx]

That's a HUGE red flag.

I'm thinking that she was the town bicycle myself with a body count in the double digits at least if not three digits.

Transparency is a huge huge thing in marriage.

She doesn't want to talk about her past, so she's probably a slut? That's quite a leap there. How did you make such a long jump without falling on your butt?

 

[seekingthemindofChrist]

She doesn't want to talk about her past, so she's probably a slut? That's quite a leap there. How did you make such a long jump without falling on your butt?

I think he landed on his head.

Between what he said here, and what I just read and responded to on another thread, I am thinking that I should avoid the singles' forum altogether from now on.

 

[Lynx]

I think he landed on his head.

Between what he said here, and what I just read and responded to on another thread, I am thinking that I should avoid the singles' forum altogether from now on.

Don't you dare! There will always be broad-brush people everywhere you go, painting their own opinions all over everyone. Don't let them throw you off.

 

[seekingthemindofChrist]

Don't you dare! There will always be broad-brush people everywhere you go, painting their own opinions all over everyone. Don't let them throw you off.

You forgot to say "Pretty please with a cherry on top", so I am leaving.

 

[seekingthemindofChrist]

Btw, I have not read this entire thread, so I am wondering if the OP ever stated his age and the age of his fiancé.

 

[Lynx]

You forgot to say "Pretty please with a cherry on top", so I am leaving.

But we ain't go no more cherries. I w*rk at a McDonald's and we haven't used cherries on top of our shakes in years.

 

[jennymae]

But we ain't go no more cherries. I w*rk at a McDonald's and we haven't used cherries on top of our shakes in years.

Now that’s exactly why I don’t visit McDonald’s no more! Ain’t no way of cherry-picking.

 

[Lanolin]

oh dear slut shamed on CC

whats new?

How about put yourself in a females shoes for once guys and maybe have a bit of empathy

How many women here have been harassed by men from the age they start menstruating? How about 100% have been taken for a ride that we did NOT initiate.

How many have been sexually propositioned IN CHURCH by predators?

 

[Lanolin]

It isn't good for anyone.
The more partners in your history the less enjoyment received from your current.

how would you know?

anyway, I think unless youve been in an arranged marriage from the time you are two years old who can say about anyones 'history' unless you have recorded it all somewhere in a CV.

 

[seekingthemindofChrist]

oh dear slut shamed on CC

whats new?

How about put yourself in a females shoes for once guys and maybe have a bit of empathy

How many women here have been harassed by men from the age they start menstruating? How about 100% have been taken for a ride that we did NOT initiate.

How many have been sexually propositioned IN CHURCH by predators?

What makes you think that I was not putting myself in the woman's shoes here? I have a tremendous amount of respect for women, and I have had a hard time even typing out some of my responses here in which I have had to use descriptive language which I would normally never use in relation to a woman.

Not only was it highly inappropriate and insulting for JohnDB to suggest to this brother that his fiancé is a slut, but it is equally, if not more, insulting to his fiancé to insinuate that 100 guys or more have "ridden" or "mounted" her. If this couple wanted to track John down and spit in his face, then I would offer to drive them, and even pay for gas and tolls.

JohnDB should be highly ashamed of himself while begging for forgiveness from both of them, but I would not suggest holding your breath while waiting for that to happen.

 

[JohnDB]

What makes you think that I was not putting myself in the woman's shoes here? I have a tremendous amount of respect for women, and I have had a hard time even typing out some of my responses here in which I have had to use descriptive language which I would normally never use in relation to a woman.

Not only was it highly inappropriate and insulting for JohnDB to suggest to this brother that his fiancé is a slut, but it is equally, if not more, insulting to his fiancé to insinuate that 100 guys or more have "ridden" or "mounted" her. If this couple wanted to track John down and spit in his face, then I would offer to drive them, and even pay for gas and tolls.

JohnDB should be highly ashamed of himself while begging for forgiveness from both of them, but I would not suggest holding your breath while waiting for that to happen.

Not going to be shamed....

Not when there are WAY TOO MANY stories over and over again of similar accounts of women not sharing their past history and later finding out that they were very promiscuous and currently cheating.

Women have the same capability as men in being destructive and evil. It's not limited to just one gender. It's a fallacy to promote ideas to the contrary.

Women just lash out more when their mask of innocence is removed.

Hhhmmmm

 

[Lanolin]

What makes you think that I was not putting myself in the woman's shoes here? I have a tremendous amount of respect for women, and I have had a hard time even typing out some of my responses here in which I have had to use descriptive language which I would normally never use in relation to a woman.

Not only was it highly inappropriate and insulting for JohnDB to suggest to this brother that his fiancé is a slut, but it is equally, if not more, insulting to his fiancé to insinuate that 100 guys or more have "ridden" or "mounted" her. If this couple wanted to track John down and spit in his face, then I would offer to drive them, and even pay for gas and tolls.

JohnDB should be highly ashamed of himself while begging for forgiveness from both of them, but I would not suggest holding your breath while waiting for that to happen.

wasnt referring to you

John DB often writes questionable things on here that need to be questioned.
its is very rare for any woman to be engaged from age 2 these days most women are encourgaed to have lots of boyfriends just as many men go round asking out every women they meet. Anyone in their 20s who has been out and about is fair game thats the way it is in the world and even in workplaces. Married or unmarried, it doesnt seem to matter, many men just do not respect women.

the sad thing about the fiance is she is interpreting what actually may be innocent to be a come on or pass to other women by her fiance.

This does not mean that the fiance is a town bicycle. ?!