Why Its Easier to Make Unbelieving Friends?

[SirSolaScriptura]

I have noticed making Christian friends except in Charismatic circles, is like dating, you gotta put on your best outfit and go on a ton of dates before you even get to be a friend.

In contrast, unbelievers become instant friends. Much like when you were kids, “your favorite color is blue?! We be best friends.” (Seinfield). Only replace blue with anime, fantasy realm, sports, and etc.

Why is it so much easier to make friends with unbelievers? Why do church people act like you gotta attend Bible Study two years before they give you the time of day?

Jesus ate with sinners, and hung with the rejected yet repentant group of Fishermen, Tax Collectors, and Prostitutes. In contrast, Jesus hated the religious caste, giving them many woes (Matthew 23).

Its sad, you want fellowship with other Christians, but the church culture is prove yourself worthy to be a friend like you are dating.. and life is short. So then people wonder why more Christians marry unbelievers and hang with Atheists they ought to consider its because they arn’t willing to go through the worthy examinations to be a friend.

Something’s gotta change.. even Muslim converts to Christianity despair, losing their families for the faith and finding no community and family in Christ so they often fall away and go back to their blood family. (How Islam Plans To Take The World, William Wagner).

Sigh.

 

[shittim]

"When I was working for the devil he let me do his stuff! " or something close was something I saw John Wimber say when he found out there wasn't much healing going on in the Christian church. He wanted to start walking out Jesus command to Heal, raise, cleanse, cast out, etc. and was stymied.
blessings

 

[SirSolaScriptura]

"When I was working for the devil he let me do his stuff! " or something close was something I saw John Wimber say when he found out there wasn't much healing going on in the Christian church. He wanted to start walking out Jesus command to Heal, raise, cleanse, cast out, etc. and was stymied.
blessings

It’s sad. Its why I exempted Charismatic circles from my OP, they allow the gifts and quick friendship. Maybe why friends are fast in those circles is the Holy Spirit unites them. While other church styled tend to be like academia or perhaps the schools of the Pharisees where “everyone judges holiness and who is holier” (from The Chosen, Season 5).

 

[shittim]

Amen! We must stay in Him being obedient to His guidance to receive His blessings.
Too many stop right before they receive.
blessings

 

[Elizabeth35]

Yes, I agree with you. It's hard to make Christian friends for sure. Once you have a common interest with a secular person you just become friends and it's easy for some reason. But Christians can be more judgmental and hesitant. I even got kicked out of a young adults group at church because I was new!

 

[shittim]

Yes, I agree with you. It's hard to make Christian friends for sure. Once you have a common interest with a secular person you just become friends and it's easy for some reason. But Christians can be more judgmental and hesitant. I even got kicked out of a young adults group at church because I was new!

So sorry to hear of that happening to you,
blessings

 

[Gideon300]

I have noticed making Christian friends except in Charismatic circles, is like dating, you gotta put on your best outfit and go on a ton of dates before you even get to be a friend.

In contrast, unbelievers become instant friends. Much like when you were kids, “your favorite color is blue?! We be best friends.” (Seinfield). Only replace blue with anime, fantasy realm, sports, and etc.

Why is it so much easier to make friends with unbelievers? Why do church people act like you gotta attend Bible Study two years before they give you the time of day?

Jesus ate with sinners, and hung with the rejected yet repentant group of Fishermen, Tax Collectors, and Prostitutes. In contrast, Jesus hated the religious caste, giving them many woes (Matthew 23).

Its sad, you want fellowship with other Christians, but the church culture is prove yourself worthy to be a friend like you are dating.. and life is short. So then people wonder why more Christians marry unbelievers and hang with Atheists they ought to consider its because they arn’t willing to go through the worthy examinations to be a friend.

Something’s gotta change.. even Muslim converts to Christianity despair, losing their families for the faith and finding no community and family in Christ so they often fall away and go back to their blood family. (How Islam Plans To Take The World, William Wagner).

Sigh.

Satan is happy to make it easy to make unbelieving friends. He knows that it's much easier for them to drag you down than for you to lift them up. The sad truth about church is that the majority are Christian in name only. Statistics show that on average around 4% of church attenders are born again. This is not the case where persecution is common. When there is a price to be a Christian, people are more likely to be real.

There are many warnings about friendship with the world. Bad company corrupts good morals. Friendship with the world is enmity with God. I found this out the hard way. I was saved while in the Navy. For a time, I went along with what some of my colleagues suggested. It did not go well. I saw some things that I've not shared with anyone. So I had to cut off my old friends. For a long time I was the only believer on the ship. The Lord worked it out for my good.

The early church had two meetings. One was for anyone who wished to come. If someone was saved as a result of the preaching, they would have a baptism meeting after. Later, those who were born again would meet for fellowship, teaching and the bread and the wine. This pattern needs to be restored. The Brethren practice this. I don't know of any other denomination that follows this pattern.

 

[Gideon300]

I have noticed making Christian friends except in Charismatic circles, is like dating, you gotta put on your best outfit and go on a ton of dates before you even get to be a friend.

In contrast, unbelievers become instant friends. Much like when you were kids, “your favorite color is blue?! We be best friends.” (Seinfield). Only replace blue with anime, fantasy realm, sports, and etc.

Why is it so much easier to make friends with unbelievers? Why do church people act like you gotta attend Bible Study two years before they give you the time of day?

Jesus ate with sinners, and hung with the rejected yet repentant group of Fishermen, Tax Collectors, and Prostitutes. In contrast, Jesus hated the religious caste, giving them many woes (Matthew 23).

Its sad, you want fellowship with other Christians, but the church culture is prove yourself worthy to be a friend like you are dating.. and life is short. So then people wonder why more Christians marry unbelievers and hang with Atheists they ought to consider its because they arn’t willing to go through the worthy examinations to be a friend.

Something’s gotta change.. even Muslim converts to Christianity despair, losing their families for the faith and finding no community and family in Christ so they often fall away and go back to their blood family. (How Islam Plans To Take The World, William Wagner).

Sigh.

I go to two different churches. One is non denominational. It is the congregation of the retirement community where we live. The other is an Anglican church. We feel at home in both places. God warns about being unequally yoked for good reason. If we will obey His instruction, life will be a whole lot easier in the long run.

 

[Brasspen]

@Gideon300 about those stastics. I read that it was something like 1% of christians actually do what the word of God says to do. I have found the LGBQ churches and the jehova witnesses, along with mormans are doing things God loves. While the other churches are only feeding themself only. They will not give food to the needy, but these other groups seek out poor people to help.

Remember the lesson from Jesus about the man who was robbed? He was found laying on the ground, injured but the first rich people would not help him, because they didn't want to defile themself with him. Then the sinner came by, and seen him, and straight way rescued him. Even spending he's money on him.

God favors the people who are 'saving'. Feeding the needy. I know you can get richly blessed by doing this thing. I know I have.

 

[Brasspen]

But also, I agree, the word of God says to not sit with sinners. They will snare you. Jesus said it. And it happened to me, remember my confessions about adultery. It's because I was attempting to save them.

 

[Daisy2]

Yes, I agree with you. It's hard to make Christian friends for sure. Once you have a common interest with a secular person you just become friends and it's easy for some reason. But Christians can be more judgmental and hesitant. I even got kicked out of a young adults group at church because I was new!

Some of it might be what you said, but I think a lot of it comes down to the fact that most Christians are just really busy and have to be intentional about who they spend time with. Building those deeper friendships takes time and effort. Plus, unbelievers often live for themselves and can spend a lot more time hanging out with different groups of friends. For Christians, it’s more about quality over quantity when it comes to relationships.

 

[shittim]

I know I for one place a high value on peace and quiet, we find Him in solitude.

 

[JohnDB]

Because the heathen have learned the concept of grace so much better than most Christians do.

That's it in a nutshell.

And as far as holding back in reserve for newbies?

OK....the "Christian crowd" ALWAYS has a few nut jobs running around. And until they know exactly how nuts you are....they are going to be wary.

My friends at church already know the extent of my craziness....and have deemed it truly annoying but harmless at the same time. My ideas of generosity and kindness are completely scary for them but I seem to get by somehow. They don't know how I do it....and they enjoy it....but I'm essentially harmless. (And I make awesome cookies).

There are plenty of others that do NOT have the others welfare in mind when they attend. They smile and talk a good game....but....
How many pastors have had secret affairs with congregation members? Some of which were underage or the same sex?
Just saying....

 

[SirSolaScriptura]

Yes, I agree with you. It's hard to make Christian friends for sure. Once you have a common interest with a secular person you just become friends and it's easy for some reason. But Christians can be more judgmental and hesitant. I even got kicked out of a young adults group at church because I was new!

Exactly what I am talking about. A Secular person will befriend you over liking the same Mecha from a show, but at church you better prove your safe for three years..

I mean what is extra frustrating is Scripture says do not be yoked to unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14) but when you cannot get Christian brothers and sisters to give you the time of day.. what do you do? Be alone? “God says its not good for Man to be alone.”

 

[Suze]

Satan is happy to make it easy to make unbelieving friends. He knows that it's much easier for them to drag you down than for you to lift them up. The sad truth about church is that the majority are Christian in name only. Statistics show that on average around 4% of church attenders are born again. This is not the case where persecution is common. When there is a price to be a Christian, people are more likely to be real.

There are many warnings about friendship with the world. Bad company corrupts good morals. Friendship with the world is enmity with God. I found this out the hard way. I was saved while in the Navy. For a time, I went along with what some of my colleagues suggested. It did not go well. I saw some things that I've not shared with anyone. So I had to cut off my old friends. For a long time I was the only believer on the ship. The Lord worked it out for my good.

The early church had two meetings. One was for anyone who wished to come. If someone was saved as a result of the preaching, they would have a baptism meeting after. Later, those who were born again would meet for fellowship, teaching and the bread and the wine. This pattern needs to be restored. The Brethren practice this. I don't know of any other denomination that follows this pattern.

The denomination I belong to still do that . We have an open to all meeting on a Sunday morning , the we have refreshments , then we have a breaking of bread meeting . None members r allowed to attend the breaking of bread but , we don't encourage it . Our Wednesday evening Bible class is also open to all . Sadly I don't go there any more as I married out of my denomination which they don't allow . I knew that when I joined so it's not their fault it's my own .

 

[Suze]

Because the heathen have learned the concept of grace so much better than most Christians do.

That's it in a nutshell.

And as far as holding back in reserve for newbies?

OK....the "Christian crowd" ALWAYS has a few nut jobs running around. And until they know exactly how nuts you are....they are going to be wary.

My friends at church already know the extent of my craziness....and have deemed it truly annoying but harmless at the same time. My ideas of generosity and kindness are completely scary for them but I seem to get by somehow. They don't know how I do it....and they enjoy it....but I'm essentially harmless. (And I make awesome cookies).

There are plenty of others that do NOT have the others welfare in mind when they attend. They smile and talk a good game....but....
How many pastors have had secret affairs with congregation members? Some of which were underage or the same sex?
Just saying....

When I joined my congregation there was an older , let's say eccentric man 😜 . He lived alone , never married and had slight mental health problems . He was also lonely , he talked a LOT , would come to the services late with plastic carrier bags that he would rustle loudly all through the service . He spent all week traveling around on busses and trains to different congregations all over the country , sometimes travelling late at night and always on his own , often staying overnight at different brothers and sisters homes all over the U.K. When I first joined, the other members tried to keep him away from me , I think they thought he might scare me away , which he didn't because he was basically a very sweet guy . One Sunday , a member was talking to me about him is slightly dispariging terms . I said what was on my mind , it went something like this : he is obviously very much loved by God . He's elderly , very vulnerable , travels all over the place at all hours of the day and night , yet , he's never been mugged or assaulted , he's never missed a bus or a train and has always had a bed for the night in whichever city he's been in , he is well loved . That shut them up .

 

[shittim]

I am so thankful you are here! That sounds to be spiritual wisdom from a mind renewed to see the world through the lens of the Father.
blessings!

 

[SirSolaScriptura]

Satan is happy to make it easy to make unbelieving friends. He knows that it's much easier for them to drag you down than for you to lift them up. The sad truth about church is that the majority are Christian in name only. Statistics show that on average around 4% of church attenders are born again. This is not the case where persecution is common. When there is a price to be a Christian, people are more likely to be real.

There are many warnings about friendship with the world. Bad company corrupts good morals. Friendship with the world is enmity with God. I found this out the hard way. I was saved while in the Navy. For a time, I went along with what some of my colleagues suggested. It did not go well. I saw some things that I've not shared with anyone. So I had to cut off my old friends. For a long time I was the only believer on the ship. The Lord worked it out for my good.

The early church had two meetings. One was for anyone who wished to come. If someone was saved as a result of the preaching, they would have a baptism meeting after. Later, those who were born again would meet for fellowship, teaching and the bread and the wine. This pattern needs to be restored. The Brethren practice this. I don't know of any other denomination that follows this pattern.

I do respect the warning. I have been dragged down by some people of the world, but also in the Church, also by people who I know really knew Jesus who did me the most harm..

In fact, a movie I just watched, Man of God (2021) about a Greek Orthodox Christian Father who is persecuted till his grave by Christians is very timely. He only wanted to teach people God loved them and lived as a “little christ,” (Mere Christianity, C.S.Lewis), and was subjected to such cruelty and abuses by churchmen till his death. His story is inspiring because of how he chose to respond to it all “by blessing those who curse you.”

Jesus Himself did not trust man,
“But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people. He did not need any testimony about mankind, for he knew what was in each person.” (John 2:24-25). Which should give us pause.

 

[SirSolaScriptura]

Some of it might be what you said, but I think a lot of it comes down to the fact that most Christians are just really busy and have to be intentional about who they spend time with. Building those deeper friendships takes time and effort. Plus, unbelievers often live for themselves and can spend a lot more time hanging out with different groups of friends. For Christians, it’s more about quality over quantity when it comes to relationships.

I was thinking on this last night and came to a similiar conclusion. We Christians judge by an eternal standard, that is we want to invest in relationships that will carry over to the next life, while for Secular people this life is all there is and it is short so they are more open to making friends fast.

My issue though is this nitpicking of Christian friends to see if they are worthy is liable to exasperate many Christians, especially new believers and thus makes them chose Secular friends instead.

I wish it could all be like it is on pilgrimage to Jerusalem, where denominations fade away and people are fast friends… sigh.

 

[Daisy2]

I do respect the warning. I have been dragged down by some people of the world, but also in the Church, also by people who I know really knew Jesus who did me the most harm..

In fact, a movie I just watched, Man of God (2021) about a Greek Orthodox Christian Father who is persecuted till his grave by Christians is very timely. He only wanted to teach people God loved them and lived as a “little christ,” (Mere Christianity, C.S.Lewis), and was subjected to such cruelty and abuses by churchmen till his death. His story is inspiring because of how he chose to respond to it all “by blessing those who curse you.”

Jesus Himself did not trust man,
“But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people. He did not need any testimony about mankind, for he knew what was in each person.” (John 2:24-25). Which should give us pause.

I understand where you’re coming from, but I don’t think that view is entirely accurate. Yes, Christians are sometimes persecuted or hurt by those closest to them—even within the church. However, it’s also true that many believers have found genuine and loyal friends among other Christians. The ones that persecute us are few and far between in the church itself. And though no one likes to suffer, sometimes the suffering or mistreatment a Christian endures can even lead to repentance or change in the person who caused the harm, often after the Christian has passed away. So, while pain and betrayal do happen, deep and lasting friendships are also possible, and God can use difficult situations for good in ways we might not expect.