Why Its Easier to Make Unbelieving Friends?

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Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
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#21
I have noticed making Christian friends except in Charismatic circles, is like dating, you gotta put on your best outfit and go on a ton of dates before you even get to be a friend.

In contrast, unbelievers become instant friends. Much like when you were kids, “your favorite color is blue?! We be best friends.” (Seinfield). Only replace blue with anime, fantasy realm, sports, and etc.

Why is it so much easier to make friends with unbelievers? Why do church people act like you gotta attend Bible Study two years before they give you the time of day?

Jesus ate with sinners, and hung with the rejected yet repentant group of Fishermen, Tax Collectors, and Prostitutes. In contrast, Jesus hated the religious caste, giving them many woes (Matthew 23).

Its sad, you want fellowship with other Christians, but the church culture is prove yourself worthy to be a friend like you are dating.. and life is short. So then people wonder why more Christians marry unbelievers and hang with Atheists they ought to consider its because they arn’t willing to go through the worthy examinations to be a friend.

Something’s gotta change.. even Muslim converts to Christianity despair, losing their families for the faith and finding no community and family in Christ so they often fall away and go back to their blood family. (How Islam Plans To Take The World, William Wagner).

Sigh.
1. because in the unbelieving world, it's, "do what you want, when you want & where you want"! "no holds barred"!
2. because the world is on "triple check mode". Christians have to guard individual, family, church, corporation, etc. they righteously need to know!
 
Mar 10, 2025
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Terra Firma (Earth)
#22
1. because in the unbelieving world, it's, "do what you want, when you want & where you want"! "no holds barred"!
2. because the world is on "triple check mode". Christians have to guard individual, family, church, corporation, etc. they righteously need to know!
2. Then the wrong kind of fear has won..
Did not Jesus say,
“And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” (Matthew 10:28).
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
3,295
1,512
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#23
2. Then the wrong kind of fear has won..
Did not Jesus say,
“And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” (Matthew 10:28).
yes, he said that. no, the wrong kind of fear has not won. think of a woman how she thinks about getting married. she cogitates on many life issues of marriage with an accountable, reliable responsible mindset, not negatively but positively & trusting. there's not going to be any, "well, what if he,,,," or "but will he....." or " i don't know if he will love me always". judging is very proper in it's Christian form.
 
Mar 10, 2025
290
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43
Terra Firma (Earth)
#24
I understand where you’re coming from, but I don’t think that view is entirely accurate. Yes, Christians are sometimes persecuted or hurt by those closest to them—even within the church. However, it’s also true that many believers have found genuine and loyal friends among other Christians. The ones that persecute us are few and far between in the church itself. And though no one likes to suffer, sometimes the suffering or mistreatment a Christian endures can even lead to repentance or change in the person who caused the harm, often after the Christian has passed away. So, while pain and betrayal do happen, deep and lasting friendships are also possible, and God can use difficult situations for good in ways we might not expect.
I am reminded Jesus chose Judas Iscariot knowing he’d become The Son of Perdition, and did not even withhold the miraculous powers he gave to the disciples going out two by two.

For me its not being persecuted by fellow believers that worries me, I am use to it, Its that time is precious, and I need people in my life now, not leaving me in limbo to pass tests to be their friends.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
14,675
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#25
I was thinking on this last night and came to a similiar conclusion. We Christians judge by an eternal standard, that is we want to invest in relationships that will carry over to the next life, while for Secular people this life is all there is and it is short so they are more open to making friends fast.

My issue though is this nitpicking of Christian friends to see if they are worthy is liable to exasperate many Christians, especially new believers and thus makes them chose Secular friends instead.

I wish it could all be like it is on pilgrimage to Jerusalem, where denominations fade away and people are fast friends… sigh.
Let us all start doing so today if not already doing so, He gave us dominion, this is how we can walk our His command, after all, since we were conceived of eternity has already begun, it is all a matter of location, location, location.
Our friends here will be our friends in eternity.
blessings