Marriage question

[homwardbound]

This is just my personal opinion , u need to contact your second wife , find out if she has remarried etc , in my opinion if she has had sex with anyone else since u got divorced from her , then u r free from her and in a position to marry again . Once a spouse , male or female , has slept with some one other than their spouse , then the innocent party is free .
When u contact your second wife , try to b tactful about the information u require . Best not to just ask get straight out , unless she's a straight shooter and wouldn't b offended by the question . Maybe u could find out from one of her family members or friends ? Done one sympathetic to your situation . Hope everything works out good for u .

I just have to say

Authorized (King James) Version

Romans 7:1-4

7 Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? 2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. 3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man. 4 Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.

I am talking Spiritually from God to us all through Son to be made alive, no more of flesh and blood.
We are not under Law any longer, I see we are to uphold law as in Romans 3 tell me at least
Thanks trusting God above it all

 

[DJT_47]

Was your second wife a believer? If she isn't a believer, then you can remarry.

If your second wife is a believer, then bring God into your relationship and work things out with her. Or you can remain single and focus on God.

Yes. Read 1 Cor 7.
15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

 

[aChristian2]

brother

I write after I have read the posts, I hope or intend to give you some love.
seems like your getting a little beat up out there..haha

I have studied this remarrying thing long and hard, and I can tell you I personally do not have an answer for you.

I feel for you brother, I can tell you this, the devil just beat me up hard and I am feeling so down. I have recently read a book about getting back up by a Christian who gave me lots of scripture, it helped for a few hours. I feel G-D Himself has told me thru another Christian for me to move on. I have asked for forgiveness.. I just have felt like the biggest fool. yet I am trying & will recover from this big mistake, for I see no other choice.

why do I say all this, just make sure you hear from G-D. He may have answered you already, perhaps you/we do not want to hear, or He perhaps an answer will be provided for you in the near future. make sure it is not the trap of the devil.

I have heard people say be reconciled to your wife, the New Testament says this, the Old Testament says if married people get divorced and sleep with other people, and remarry this is an abomination unto the LORD.

so I digress, I am the foolish things of the world and know nothing, I worry that you have already become attached to this postal worker, and why not, life can be lonely, I totally understand. I love you brother the fight is real. Just attachment makes things more complicated.

I will be praying for you here and there, I hope to see you on the other side, that your asking these tough questions says a lot about you, and your concern for G-DS will in your life.

I have no answers, only food for thought.. I have heard a pastor say forgiveness trumps all in the New Testament.

move cautiously, for you know who, goes around like a roaring lion looking to see whom he may devour, as I recently just got a chunk taken out of me that I did not see coming, and quite honestly did not expect to see happened as I was close to JESUS.

My best guess is the evil one got me in a position of irreverence towards G-D Almighty, then G-DS hedge was taken from me, and the evil one was aloud to sifted me like wheat; after I did not correct the situation or was remorse full.. all my fault, of course!

I am rooting for you

the answer is always more time with G-D Almighty!

in love with& peace
your brother in Christ

 

[jchristian]

Only Father in you with risen Son Jesus (1 John 2:27) can answer this in you, for you. I'm elated you and this woman found each other. I do beleive God is too. Edification from God is for us all, It is not a show and tell as if one is better than another ever. To me at least from my walk, given me, by God simply loving us all through Son first. Who took away all sin first at that cross for us all (1 John 2:1-4) went to that for us all willingly once. To free us to love all, in the same mercy and truth given us each, by Son, that when that got done, Jesus yelled "It is finished" (John 19:30) new life is in the risen Son, not the dead Son! Love and mercy to all from God is the call, which in truth is in you teaching you new from God in God's Spirit and Truth (John 4:23-24) is love. (1 Cor 13:13) trust God's love for us all to get along and not harm anyone anymore. Even though we all have this truth, yer, are reprobates, and get put under Law (Romans 6,7,8) and might again and have done wrong still, why? How,?
Being in unredeemed flesh and blood, not 100% believing in being 100% God loved through risen Son, freed Col 2. God loves us so deep, wide and High, Son took our deserved place to be dead for us all. To give new life in his risen Life given this from God not self or anyone else. Father and Son for us all. To walk on with true Love 1.Cor 13:4-7, which Daddy, Father, PaPa imputes in you both too.
So, be dead and now alive, not under Law literal Law anymore and now upholding the Law of God's love for us all to get along and not accuse, abuse or excuse anymore, as the first birth flesh does. Be dead Romans 6:11-12 to first birth, alive in the second birth
Marry, Equally yoked in love to Father and Son first, and let each other remain free in trust to God once for all.
John 13:34
A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

You are not under Law, you are new in love to all, by God for you
Have blessed marriage if led to by God, not people, or religion(s)
Love to all from God for all as God requires mercy over sacrifice
Ezekiel 33:13, Micah 6:7-8
God wants the best for each of us Jeremiah 29:11

I hear what you're saying, Brother, and I like it, but your reply reminds me of a Dr. Bronner's soap label.

 

[jchristian]

brother

I write after I have read the posts, I hope or intend to give you some love.
seems like your getting a little beat up out there..haha

I have studied this remarrying thing long and hard, and I can tell you I personally do not have an answer for you.

I feel for you brother, I can tell you this, the devil just beat me up hard and I am feeling so down. I have recently read a book about getting back up by a Christian who gave me lots of scripture, it helped for a few hours. I feel G-D Himself has told me thru another Christian for me to move on. I have asked for forgiveness.. I just have felt like the biggest fool. yet I am trying & will recover from this big mistake, for I see no other choice.

why do I say all this, just make sure you hear from G-D. He may have answered you already, perhaps you/we do not want to hear, or He perhaps an answer will be provided for you in the near future. make sure it is not the trap of the devil.

I have heard people say be reconciled to your wife, the New Testament says this, the Old Testament says if married people get divorced and sleep with other people, and remarry this is an abomination unto the LORD.

so I digress, I am the foolish things of the world and know nothing, I worry that you have already become attached to this postal worker, and why not, life can be lonely, I totally understand. I love you brother the fight is real. Just attachment makes things more complicated.

I will be praying for you here and there, I hope to see you on the other side, that your asking these tough questions says a lot about you, and your concern for G-DS will in your life.

I have no answers, only food for thought.. I have heard a pastor say forgiveness trumps all in the New Testament.

move cautiously, for you know who, goes around like a roaring lion looking to see whom he may devour, as I recently just got a chunk taken out of me that I did not see coming, and quite honestly did not expect to see happened as I was close to JESUS.

My best guess is the evil one got me in a position of irreverence towards G-D Almighty, then G-DS hedge was taken from me, and the evil one was aloud to sifted me like wheat; after I did not correct the situation or was remorse full.. all my fault, of course!

I am rooting for you

the answer is always more time with G-D Almighty!

in love with& peace
your brother in Christ

True wisdom. When we humbly admit we don't have all the answers, that the world is difficult, and then to show compassion to those who are struggling. Thank you for being such a righteous dude. I love you man. I will pray for what you're enduring right now.

I know God will make things clear at His appointed time. If He says, "Don't do this." I won't, for His great Name's sake. But if He says, "Go for it." I will, for His great Name's sake.

If you like books, please listen to my audiobook and tell me what you think! The video in the link is the first 45 pages of my book and I'm working on Part 2. I would love to hear your thoughts on it in the comments:

The Profane - Free Audiobook [Christian fiction about Satan's role in pre-flood world] - Christian Chat Rooms & Forums

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[homwardbound]

I hear what you're saying, Brother, and I like it, but your reply reminds me of a Dr. Bronner's soap label.

It is Father that leads, I make mistakes, I am not perfect ever. I share love and mercy given me, as Paul did in Phil 3 thank you

 

[aChristian2]

True wisdom. When we humbly admit we don't have all the answers, that the world is difficult, and then to show compassion to those who are struggling. Thank you for being such a righteous dude. I love you man. I will pray for what you're enduring right now.

I know God will make things clear at His appointed time. If He says, "Don't do this." I won't, for His great Name's sake. But if He says, "Go for it." I will, for His great Name's sake.

If you like books, please listen to my audiobook and tell me what you think! The video in the link is the first 45 pages of my book and I'm working on Part 2. I would love to hear your thoughts on it in the comments:

The Profane - Free Audiobook [Christian fiction about Satan's role in pre-flood world] - Christian Chat Rooms & Forums

.

will do!

glad to hear from you, another brother in the fight, & that we are not alone!

 

[NightTwister]

And so, what does the price of tea in China have to do with his divorce?

I wondering was there any evidence of fecal matter that was left on the toilet seat after he had used it while living with her

View attachment 282963

 

[NightTwister]

I find it interesting that the same people who insist most people today who attend church aren't Christian also insist that simply attending church before or after abandoning their spouse makes them a Christian for the purposes of divorce and remarriage.

 

[presidente]

If she is divorced and not a Put Away wife....
That's what Jesus was saying. In this instance the KJV is more accurate than most of the modern Bible's....it's kinda shocking. At least to me it is.

You do not know Greek do you?

Some people can fool you with a little fancy bit of talk about 'the original Greek.' But the argument you are talking about, if it is the one I have in mind, is just sophistry at best.

Go look up the Greek arguments for whatever version of this argument they are talking about. If it is like the DivorceHope website, they probably said that 'apoluw' just means to send away, not divorce, and that the word means to send a woman away without a certificate.

But I already presented counter arguments from scripture. In Matthew 1, the word is used in reference to Joseph divorcing Mary before they had come together, so it seems highly unlikely she was in the same house for him to have her physically sent away. He was considering giving her a 'get', a certificate of divorce.

I also pointed out that in Matthew 19, the context where apoluw is used is talking about the sending/putting away that Moses allowed, WITH a certificate.

And of course, any Greek student who had some of the first sets of paradigms, luw translates as 'loose' also (or 'I loose' since the reference form is in the first person. For some reason, that is a favorite go to word to use for conjugations. I am using w for omega because it looks similar. You may also see apoluo and luo as transliterations or with the long vowel markings on them.)

 

[presidente]

And so, what does the price of tea in China have to do with his divorce?

I wondering was there any evidence of fecal matter that was left on the toilet seat after he had used it while living with her

View attachment 282963

When I read the quote initially, I took it to mean that there was no evidence of infidelity on HER part, unlike his previous experience with the first wife, presumably....as opposed to the poster saying she didn't _catch_ him cheating.

That makes sense contextually if one holds to the Protestant view that a woman's sexual immorality frees the husband to divorce her. He has no such evidence for the second wife... a Christian who abandoned him, and doesn't fit the Paul's-opinion-no-commandment-from-the-Lord part of I Corinthians 7 where the ___unbeliever__ departs and the abandoned believing spouse is said to not be under bondage.

If you folks giving him a hard time reconsider that interpretation, it might give you a different perspective.

 

[Gideon300]

I have a question for those who may be able to share their wisdom.

My first wife divorced me. Because of her actions, I was scripturally permitted to remarry. (That's all I need to say).

My second wife divorced me and there was no evidence of infidelity. She literally left and never spoke to me again. There was not even a conversation in which I was allowed to process this decision with her. I had to do so alone. I am unaware of her ever moving on or being with anyone else afterwards. For four years, I waited for her to see if she would repent and reconcile our Biblical marriage and she never did. I eventually gave up waiting and believing that she ever would.

I started a Bible study in my home two years ago and I invited my mail carrier. She showed up every week, and we became close friends. She has a daughter in the same grade of high school as my daughter. I became very close to her and her daughter and helped them through some difficult times and vice versa. Even though she grew to love me, I refused to get into a relationship with her because I wasn't sure if it was right given the circumstances surrounding my second divorce (i.e. there were no scriptural grounds for divorce per our Lord Jesus Christ.)

My second wife left me in a position in which she abandoned me and divorced me without infidelity. Am I scripturally free to marry this other woman?

Yes. She (second wife) abandoned the marriage. God does not punish the innocent.

 

[presidente]

If she is divorced and not a Put Away wife....
That's what Jesus was saying. In this instance the KJV is more accurate than most of the modern Bible's....it's kinda shocking. At least to me it is.

Btw, in Jesus time, the divorced wife IS a put away wife. Typically, she is literally sent away. It is even in Deuteronomy 24-- he gives her a certificate and then sends/puts her away. You don't think a man kept the wife in the house after divorcing her? Even the Torah talks about divorced women in their father's house.

Joseph was contemplating an unusual situation of sending his wife away without literally doing it. He wouldn't have to send her away if they weren't together, so the word 'put away' is being used idiomatically to refer to the legal divorce procedure of giving her a certificate, which disproves this idea you seem to be trying to explain.

 

[presidente]

Yes. She (second wife) abandoned the marriage. God does not punish the innocent.

Nor does he permit the innocent to commit adultery

 

[presidente]

Btw, I had a conversation with a man. He was with his second wife. His first wife had had a disease, some terrible disease that would make her bed ridden unable to do anything. They were young. What his wife wanted was to divorce him and go back to her parents home to let her parents care for her.

So he did. Some year's later, he was chatting with a woman online, who'd gotten to a certain age and never married and really wanted to. They were talking about marriage. She said I'll meet you at the airport, and flew to the US. He wasn't sure if this was for real. But he said this woman flew all the way out here to meet me, so I'm marrying her.

The first wife was still alive.

I found his story about his first marriage unsettling. I'd kind of be insulted if my wife wanted her parents to care for her instead of me... her actual immediate family now, as if I weren't and they were 'real family.' So I'd insist on not divorcing. Also, that's not a legitimate Biblical reason to divorce. Why should Christians consider the paper the divorce decree is written on to be morally and spiritually valid?

 

[presidente]

I think I'm in an impossible situation.

Some Christians believe that if two people have sex, then they're Biblically married. If a young woman came and said her uncle r*ped her, they would also say, "That doesn't count." Thereby making allowances where the Scriptures don't.

Some would say "What is bound on Earth is bound in Heaven (like a marriage vow), and what is loosed on Earth is loosed in Heaven (like a divorce decree)"

The Bible does not say if two have sex that they are Biblically married. It says they become one in body, even if it is a prostitute.

God presented Adam to Eve as his wife, then Adam said two shall be one flesh.

But consider other passages. Shechem defiled Dinah (slept with her outside of marriage or maybe raped her... unclear.) Even the pagan Hivite king had enough since to know that didn't make them married and that he couldn't just perform a ceremony or decree them married. The father had to give her in marriage. After asking Jacob who consulted with his sons, Jacob agreed to the marriage if the men be circumcised. Two of his sons took their men to the town and slaughtered them right after they had been circumcised, and asked if they should have treated their sister like a prostitute.

Anyway, the point is Dinah wasn't married because she had had sex.

And if a man seduced a virgin who was unbetrothed, he wasn't married to her. He was ___obligated__ to marry her... if the bride's father agreed to it. If a man seduced or raped a betrothed girl, he wasn't married to her. They were both to be raped if she agreed to it, and just him if he'd raped her.

Paul does not say that sex with a prostitute is marriage to a prostitute. It says that it makes one one in body with a prostitute.

 

[Gideon300]

Nor does he permit the innocent to commit adultery

God permits all kinds of evil. David was a murderer and and an adulterer. Did God stop him or Bathsheba? No. Did God forgive them? Yes. Were there consequences? Yes. We still reap what we sow.

If an innocent person commits adultery, they are not innocent. So I don't know what you are getting at.

"And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

"All" includes our failures, sins, defeats and yes (gasp) divorce.

 

[presidente]

You done? I hope you got it all out this time.

If our Lord Jesus Christ couldn't bring my wife back and heal our marriage, I don't think mailing her the lyrics to a Monkees song will do it either.

Don't say the Lord Jesus couldn't.

There was a man who was a part of a prayer group my wife was a part of. His wife had grown up a missionary's kids, but when she grew up and was married, she wanted financial stability and held down a job. Her husband did not care about saving for retirement and wanted to do this and that ministry endeavor and was content to live on little, apparently. She divorced him over financial issues. (She sounded pretty awful, just knowing that about her.) So he prays for decades to reconcile with her. He sounded like he was holding to a Biblical conviction. I highly respected him for it, with all the people throwing out Biblical teaching on divorce and remarriage to find emotional fulfillment in life.

Later, though, he said he was remarrying because he said, "The Lord released me." I do not believe the Lord' releases people on marriage issues contrary to scripture.

If I had a wife who left me and I did not have clear __Biblical__ grounds to remarry, I would keep praying, and I might try other avenues, like building up relationships with ex-inlaws to use them as a bridge for communication.

It could be your wife really did leave you for no reason by mental illness. But it is also possible there is something about how you are as a husband that made you a bit difficult for both of these women. (Maybe I've got that too, but one and only my wife just endured. ) You should also consider that there might be something about the women you attract or are attracted to that make them high risk.

As far as risk factors go, statistically you are at high risk for another divorce. And the type of woman who would marry a twice-divorced man is probably high risk, too. She's a single mother also.

Also, it sounds like this woman knows how to play the game. If you don't marry her, you lose her as a close friend. She wants a husband. She either goes elsewhere and you lose your friendship because this type of relationship wouldn't work out with her being married to another man. And if it were not for the whole divorced and remarried background, I'd say good for her for doing that.

But if I were in your shoes, based on my understanding and convictions, I'd let this ship sail and endure the feeling of loss for a while and feel compelled to stay celibate.

 

[presidente]

God permits all kinds of evil. David was a murderer and and an adulterer. Did God stop him or Bathsheba? No. Did God forgive them? Yes. Were there consequences? Yes. We still reap what we sow.

If an innocent person commits adultery, they are not innocent. So I don't know what you are getting at.

"And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

"All" includes our failures, sins, defeats and yes (gasp) divorce.

The Bible does NOT say that a man abandoned by a Christian wife may remarry.

 

[4urenlightment]

When I read the quote initially, I took it to mean that there was no evidence of infidelity on HER part, unlike his previous experience with the first wife, presumably....as opposed to the poster saying she didn't _catch_ him cheating.

That makes sense contextually if one holds to the Protestant view that a woman's sexual immorality frees the husband to divorce her. He has no such evidence for the second wife... a Christian who abandoned him, and doesn't fit the Paul's-opinion-no-commandment-from-the-Lord part of I Corinthians 7 where the ___unbeliever__ departs and the abandoned believing spouse is said to not be under bondage.

If you folks giving him a hard time reconsider that interpretation, it might give you a different perspective.

I always suspect the men of doing the cheating while the women do the divorcing. But I could never imagine the woman of doing both the cheating and divorcing.
Like there's a mad woman on this site that will not let her cheating husband to go. To me, that's how all women are like unless she's very young and rush into a marriage without thinking that she has to give up her old lifestyle to be in a serious relationship.

But I believe that God controls our desires. If He doesn't want a person to be in a certain relationship, He'll intervene and cause the couple to lose their desire for each other. That's what I believe what the verse is saying, "Whomever God joins together, let no one separate them", that God is letting us to know that He's the one who controls destiny.


Matthew 19:6
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

God didn't join these two together that's why his desires for her was changed immediately from loving her to hating her

2 Samuel 13:14 But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her.

15 Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, “Get up and get out!”

16 “No!” she said to him. “Sending me away would be a greater wrong than what you have already done to me.”