For the Men: Would You Choose Single Fatherhood Over Abortion if Given the Choice?

[seoulsearch]

Women are not God said both men and women are not to fornicate. The result of men and women having sexual relations is Children Duh!.

Abortion has been a remedy for many different reasons yet God sees it as only one way. Any man who forces women to have an abortion over them and threats to living her will answer to God and most likely will not stay with the very person they demanded this of. It is abuse and the women suffering from coe-dependency.

Fathers were given a pass via Welfare AND if they paid the child support meant that all they had to do. That is not being a father.

My parents were divorced and I saw FIRST HAND OUT THIS WAS A PLAN TO BREAK UP THE FAMILY UNIT.
The of the rebellious '60s and sexual revolution brought on pain and separation.

Thank you for this post, CS1.

I appreciate that you pointed out that just forking over money for a child (whether the man or the woman) is not being an actual parent to them or holding to their responsibility.

I also appreciate that you stated the fact that many abortions are done because of pressure and abuse.

I have so many friends who were unwanted by a parent (usually the father, but sometimes a mother as well) that it absolutely breaks my heart, because they have never been able to get over it. Some have then gone on to have children who are then also unwanted by one or both parents.

If we're going to save every child from abortion, what kind of life are we then sending them into?

Surely God doesn't just want us to save every child from one horror only to abandon them to another.

 

[CS1]

Thank you for this post, CS1.

I appreciate that you pointed out that just forking over money for a child (whether the man or the woman) is not being an actual parent to them or holding to their responsibility.

I also appreciate that you stated the fact that many abortions are done because of pressure and abuse.

I have so many friends who were unwanted by a parent (usually the father, but sometimes a mother as well) that it absolutely breaks my heart, because they have never been able to get over it. Some have then gone on to have children who are then also unwanted by one or both parents.

If we're going to save every child from abortion, what kind of life are we then sending them into?

Surely God doesn't just want us to save every child from one horror only to abandon them to another.

amen.

 

[EmilyNats]

I'm not a man, so I didn't want to vote on the poll. But as you know I love to give my 2 cents lol

I know it hasn't been up for long, but I was very disappointed to see that already 2 votes have been cast towards letting mothers do what they want. That is insane to me, considering this is a primarily Christian forum. If I were a single pregnant mom and the father was either supportive or indifferent of abortion, I would do my best to never allow that person to have anything to do with me or my child. But then again, I'm sure those are coming from men who would want to get out of the responsibility that comes with a child in the first place.

As for the adoption question, it is estimated that there are 2 million couples who are currently waiting to adopt a baby - about 36 per child that is put up for adoption. For a little more perspective, there were around 600, 000 abortions in 2018, per the CDC. And I know that people always bring up the "What about kids in the foster system?" argument, but I just can't see how that argument really has anything to do with the situation when you realize that if we totally replaced abortion with adoption, every child would get a home - and with many more potential homes still available.

 

[CS1]

I'm not a man, so I didn't want to vote on the poll. But as you know I love to give my 2 cents lol

I know it hasn't been up for long, but I was very disappointed to see that already 2 votes have been cast towards letting mothers do what they want. That is insane to me, considering this is a primarily Christian forum. If I were a single pregnant mom and the father was either supportive or indifferent of abortion, I would do my best to never allow that person to have anything to do with me or my child. But then again, I'm sure those are coming from men who would want to get out of the responsibility that comes with a child in the first place.

As for the adoption question, it is estimated that there are 2 million couples who are currently waiting to adopt a baby - about 36 per child that is put up for adoption. For a little more perspective, there were around 600, 000 abortions in 2018, per the CDC. And I know that people always bring up the "What about kids in the foster system?" argument, but I just can't see how that argument really has anything to do with the situation when you realize that if we totally replaced abortion with adoption, every child would get a home - and with many more potential homes still available.

yes.

 

[OneOfHis]

* If you were in a situation in which the woman you were involved with became pregnant (whether married or single, as married people get abortions, too,) and for whatever reason, she did not want to carry the baby to term, would you fight for the right to have that baby born, then take the child and raise him or her completely by yourself? Why or why not
-


I believe it is super unlikely for a woman who would want to make this choice to be married to me. I don't think we could get so far. She would need to be a really good liar and completely fool me. (which is possible just not something I expect to happen)

If that happened I would be so heart broken and angry it is hard to imagine exactly what I'd do. My first instinct is to want to raise the child without my wife since my wife wants to kill him or her. I just don't know how capable I am of raising our child without a wife who loves Jesus. I mean with God anything is possible but... He also designed family like He did for good reason.



* Would you just step back and allow the mother to make the decision? Why or why not?
-

No. Because it shouldn't be up to my wife. Not saying it should be up to me. I just don't think she should be allowed to kill our baby because she wants to and I'd do my best to save him or her.


* If you were granted custody of the child, would you grant the mother partial custody or visitation rights? Why or why not?
-

This would require prayer and more specifics I think. I imagine there would be plenty of cases where either could be best for the child.


* Would you take the mother to court for her part of the financial support of the child?
-

No.

 

[CS1]

* If you were in a situation in which the woman you were involved with became pregnant (whether married or single, as married people get abortions, too,) and for whatever reason, she did not want to carry the baby to term, would you fight for the right to have that baby born, then take the child and raise him or her completely by yourself? Why or why not
-


I believe it is super unlikely for a woman who would want to make this choice to be married to me. I don't think we could get so far. She would need to be a really good liar and completely fool me. (which is possible just not something I expect to happen)

If that happened I would be so heart broken and angry it is hard to imagine exactly what I'd do. My first instinct is to want to raise the child without my wife since my wife wants to kill him or her. I just don't know how capable I am of raising our child without a wife who loves Jesus. I mean with God anything is possible but... He also designed family like He did for good reason.



* Would you just step back and allow the mother to make the decision? Why or why not?
-

No. Because it shouldn't be up to my wife. Not saying it should be up to me. I just don't think she should be allowed to kill our baby because she wants to and I'd do my best to save him or her.


* If you were granted custody of the child, would you grant the mother partial custody or visitation rights? Why or why not?
-

This would require prayer and more specifics I think. I imagine there would be plenty of cases where either could be best for the child.


* Would you take the mother to court for her part of the financial support of the child?
-

No.

I think if a woman is given good options they will make the right choice, but most abortions happen because of the thing you promote the most of will win most of the time.

 

[mindfulzen]

* If you were in a situation in which the woman you were involved with became pregnant (whether married or single, as married people get abortions, too,) and for whatever reason, she did not want to carry the baby to term, would you fight for the right to have that baby born, then take the child and raise him or her completely by yourself? Why or why not
-


I believe it is super unlikely for a woman who would want to make this choice to be married to me. I don't think we could get so far. She would need to be a really good liar and completely fool me. (which is possible just not something I expect to happen)

If that happened I would be so heart broken and angry it is hard to imagine exactly what I'd do. My first instinct is to want to raise the child without my wife since my wife wants to kill him or her. I just don't know how capable I am of raising our child without a wife who loves Jesus. I mean with God anything is possible but... He also designed family like He did for good reason.



* Would you just step back and allow the mother to make the decision? Why or why not?
-

No. Because it shouldn't be up to my wife. Not saying it should be up to me. I just don't think she should be allowed to kill our baby because she wants to and I'd do my best to save him or her.


* If you were granted custody of the child, would you grant the mother partial custody or visitation rights? Why or why not?
-

This would require prayer and more specifics I think. I imagine there would be plenty of cases where either could be best for the child.


* Would you take the mother to court for her part of the financial support of the child?
-

No.

It is the law of your land, if she would see it as convenient to kill your baby, she could do it, unless you reasoned with her. Just the way it is. In the rest of the world, this is of course illegal after certain weeknumbers, so not a big problem. Regardless, it is the will of God I suppose. I would rather adopt away a child if the mother was unfit, of course. Goes without saying. If I answer your hypotheticals. The OP cannot reply to you, she is not a man. She says.

 

[OneOfHis]

It is the law of your land, if she would see it as convenient to kill your baby, she could do it, unless you reasoned with her. Just the way it is. In the rest of the world, this is of course illegal after certain weeknumbers, so not a big problem. Regardless, it is the will of God I suppose. I would rather adopt away a child if the mother was unfit, of course. Goes without saying. If I answer your hypotheticals. The OP cannot reply to you, she is not a man. She says.

Your wording confuses me. I do not know what you're trying to say.


I copied the questions I saw in the OP and followed her hypotheticals and how they could possibly fit into my life.

I also wasn't looking for a reply so if she doesn't want to that's fine.

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

Hey Everyone,

Someone brought up an important point in the "Why Are Women Expected to be the Gatekeepers of Virginity?" thread.

This poster pointed out that many women are choosing to commit the sin of abortion after fornication, creating, as the poster said, "about as bad a combo as you can get."

For whatever reason, I have known a few women (through work settings) who have had abortions and have heard their reasons for doing so, and have seen the sorrow for doing so. As an adopted child myself, I listen to them because I always wonder if many years ago, my own birth mother might have considered doing the same thing while carrying me.

I am curious as to how the men here on CC feel about this issue.

* If you were in a situation in which the woman you were involved with became pregnant (whether married or single, as married people get abortions, too,) and for whatever reason, she did not want to carry the baby to term, would you fight for the right to have that baby born, then take the child and raise him or her completely by yourself? Why or why not

* Would you just step back and allow the mother to make the decision? Why or why not?

* If you were granted custody of the child, would you grant the mother partial custody or visitation rights? Why or why not?

* Would you take the mother to court for her part of the financial support of the child?

I have known one man whose girlfriend aborted their child without telling him, and another man who took the mother of his child to court for visitation rights because she didn't want anything to do with him (he also pays for his child's financial needs voluntarily), so I've had a glimpse into how these things have affected the men involved very deeply.

I fully support a father's right and decision to save the life of his child, but am wondering how men feel about taking on the task of becoming a single father.

What would you choose to do in that situation?

All are welcome to post -- although this is a question specifically for the men, the ladies are most welcome to answer with their observations and viewpoints, too.

Because this is a very sensitive subject, I'm going to also post a poll as a way of allowing those who might not want to answer publicly to still have a voice in this conversation. It will be anonymous and multiple choice in case you identify with more than one answer.

HOWEVER, please do not let the poll be a substitution for a discussion. If you are willing, please share your reasons as to why you chose the answer(s) you did here. It will be impossible for me to include every answer someone might give (and the polling function only allows a certain number of answers anyway), so if you don't see your answer in the poll, please be sure to post it here as well.

I'm looking forward to seeing the discussion this will bring about.

Just to make it clear, safe is not part of my decision process regarding this question.
It's just who i am. If i have enjoyed making love, then I take responsibility for the results. The mothers ability (or lack of) to be a parent is not for me to force onto her. I'd encourage patience and independence, rather than pressure from others.
This topic of abortion has become politicised and turned into a hate release value.
It's about life love and caring.
That starts with not judging and distribution of wealth.
Guess what, no one thinks taxes are important.
Go figure

 

[mindfulzen]

Your wording confuses me. I do not know what you're trying to say.


I copied the questions I saw in the OP and followed her hypotheticals and how they could possibly fit into my life.

I also wasn't looking for a reply so if she doesn't want to that's fine.

Your replies do not follow the law of your land, if you are american. And you are pretty much powerless in all of the west if a woman were to choose abortion early on. You could not stop it, unless you changed a heart. So, not really rooted in reality. You would have to let her decide it, all you could do was pray for her and your child, if anything. After week 18 or 21, or whatever it is in the US, it is purely her choice, and too late to challenge in courts too.

 

[OneOfHis]

Your replies do not follow the law of your land, if you are american. And you are pretty much powerless in all of the west if a woman were to choose abortion early on. You could not stop it, unless you changed a heart.

The question asked if I would step back, I took that as "do absolutely nothing".

If you think I'd do anything illegal you're just being silly.

So, not really rooted in reality. You would have to let her decide it.

Nope. She could make her choice, but I certainly wouldn't allow it without doing my best to save the child.

Are you hurting right now? Do you enjoy to argue? Your posts are filled with false assumptions and that seems to be why they are so confusing.

, all you could do was pray for her and your child, if anything. After week 18 or 21, or whatever it is in the US, it is purely her choice, and too late to challenge in courts too.

Nah. I could reason, I could offer her money. and even beg too.

Though prayer is definitely where I'd start as I said in my original response.




Maybe your biggest mistake was when I replied "no"

to

"Would you just step back and allow the mother to make the decision? Why or why not?"


You seemed to falsely assume a lot of things.




Yeah it's her choice legally. Should it be? No.


Abortion shouldn't be a legal choice for my wife to choose.

Would I "step back and let her" kill my child?


Nope.


Does that mean I can legally stop her?

Nope. Never said it did.

But you said I didn't follow the law of the land.

 

[Lynx]

I've been thinking about this too as certain news sites have been going crazy over the Texas abortion law. If we ever do get to the point where we can ban abortion, what happens to the unwanted children and their mothers? Does it just move underground making abortions even less regulated and more risky for desperate young women ( the back-alley abortion)? Are there a bunch of kids growing up with parents who will tell them " You're not supposed to exist. I didn't want you but they wouldn't let me kill you before you were born." ? Or does the already overburndened social work system get a hugely increased load of children surrendered (or just abandonded at fire stations etc.) by their parents and what sorts of changes would that cause for society? I don't see any of those outcomes as being good.

But even worse would be the government deciding who was fit to be parents and who got which children for everyone before any problems could arise so .... I don't think there is a good solution beyond people need to learn to exercise a modicum of responsibility in their sexual behavior and remember that biologically one of the main purposes of sex is to make babies.

Hmm... we might see orphanages come back into style. (Hopefully not the Little Orphan Annie style orphanages.)

If it were my child, if the child would be aborted without my action, and if I could save it from abortion... I would act and raise it by myself, but I wouldn't be happy about it. Honestly I wouldn't make a very good father. I'd always be wanting to micromanage every aspect of the kid's life.

Now if I had found a wife much earlier in life, like more than two decades ago, and if we could not have our own biological children, we would probably at least discuss adopting. With a wife to balance my husband we would probably have made good adopting parents. And I always default to an animal shelter when I look for a dog or cat anyway.

 

[Lynx]

Are you hurting right now? Do you enjoy to argue? Your posts are filled with false assumptions and that seems to be why they are so confusing.

OneOfHis, meet mindfulzen. This is par for the course for him. We've done got used to it.

 

[seoulsearch]

OneOfHis, meet mindfulzen. This is par for the course for him. We've done got used to it.

And as another aside for @OneOfHis, Mindful also posted that he was putting me on Ignore, but here he is, right in the center of my latest thread.

Things that make you go Hmmm...

 

[seoulsearch]

The OP cannot reply to you, she is not a man. She says.

Hi Mindful,

If you or anyone else reading along ever has any questions about who I present myself to be, rest assured that I've been on this site since 2009 and in that time, have met about 15 members in person.

There are around another 15 who have seen me heard and seen me in voice and video recordings.

And if you need absolute proof, talk to @Lynx, @cinder, and @Pipp.

Pipp has seen me in multiple videos; Lynx's family kindly put me up for a week-long visit; and poor Cinder got roped into not only a week's visit with her and her family, but somehow even agreed to a second visit within the same year.

This is how good the people are here on the site -- they were crazy enough to invite me to show up on their family's doorstep.

 

[Lynx]

This is how good the people are here on the site -- they were crazy enough to invite me to show up on their family's doorstep.

Crazy, nothing. We should hire you as a permanent live-in dishwasher. You were like a terrier, on-point as soon as a dish hit the sink.

 

[seoulsearch]

Crazy, nothing. We should hire you as a permanent live-in dishwasher. You were like a terrier, on-point as soon as a dish hit the sink.

Lol.

Well, I was raised to be helpful, and washing dishes seemed to be the only thing I could get to fast enough before y'all would stop me.

 

[mindfulzen]

The question asked if I would step back, I took that as "do absolutely nothing".

If you think I'd do anything illegal you're just being silly.






Nope. She could make her choice, but I certainly wouldn't allow it without doing my best to save the child.

Are you hurting right now? Do you enjoy to argue? Your posts are filled with false assumptions and that seems to be why they are so confusing.







Nah. I could reason, I could offer her money. and even beg too.

Though prayer is definitely where I'd start as I said in my original response.




Maybe your biggest mistake was when I replied "no"

to

"Would you just step back and allow the mother to make the decision? Why or why not?"


You seemed to falsely assume a lot of things.




Yeah it's her choice legally. Should it be? No.


Abortion shouldn't be a legal choice for my wife to choose.

Would I "step back and let her" kill my child?


Nope.


Does that mean I can legally stop her?

Nope. Never said it did.

But you said I didn't follow the law of the land.

Mkay, so, in abiding by the law of the land but step in, do more than reasoning, you state that you will have a shouting match. That is just not good advice for people.

Why do you ask if I am hurting now? Answer after that. How do I argue? Apart from telling you that you live in a land, with laws that you must abide by? I willl not go into argument with you. What false assumptions did I make about you?

Yes, you could offer money and beg, two more options. True.

My problem was not with your response saying you would not step back and say no. It was that you cannot stop it legally. Just arguing law. And what is correct of course.

I would step back and let her decide to kill my child. It is the law, cannot stop it without breaking the law, so would have to.

 

[mindfulzen]

Hi Mindful,

If you or anyone else reading along ever has any questions about who I present myself to be, rest assured that I've been on this site since 2009 and in that time, have met about 15 members in person.

There are around another 15 who have seen me heard and seen me in voice and video recordings.

And if you need absolute proof, talk to @Lynx, @cinder, and @Pipp.

Pipp has seen me in multiple videos; Lynx's family kindly put me up for a week-long visit; and poor Cinder got roped into not only a week's visit with her and her family, but somehow even agreed to a second visit within the same year.

This is how good the people are here on the site -- they were crazy enough to invite me to show up on their family's doorstep.

Well, that deserves a lot of emojis, and grant wished. Will be given. Winkeyface, and some others. I will shop around in emojishop.
😉😉😉😉😉😎😎😎😎😜😜😜😜😜👏👏👏👏

 

[Lynx]

How do I argue?

*Lynx chokes and coughs.

I willl not go into argument with you.

Bull. You already have.

SUCH a load of bull. I'd better get out my chest-waders for this one.