Crumbling marriage

[keepingthingsreal]

Thank you!

You're welcome. Now I know how to pray for you and your family better.

 

[VictorianJesus]

Hello VictorianJesus, I'm VERY sorry to hear this, so please know that I will be praying for you (and I'm sure that others here will be too).

What @MsMediator just mentioned I will echo, that it's best to bring this to your pastor's attention, ASAP. You can do so with your husband, or you can do so alone, but you need to do so (if you have not done so already) to get his advice/counsel/help, and so that he'll know how to pray for you specifically, as well for your husband, your children and your marriage.

Growing in our trust in/of God would never be hard if we didn't have difficulties to face and terrible storms to navigate sometimes, but He asks us to trust Him with our lives/His direction for our lives nevertheless, even when our lives seem to be in the midst of spinning out of control. The thing is, He knows what's going on, and He knows how difficult it is for you, but you also need to remember that He knows what He's doing (and you need to trust that He does, as difficult as I know that can be sometimes .. as well that He loves you and wants the very best for you, even if it doesn't seem like He does at times like this).

The other thing is, your husband really needs you/your help right now, whether he knows it or not! So, as I said earlier, go talk to our pastor, and keep talking to God about this, praying that the Lord will see you, your husband and your marriage past all of this to a much better and healthier place.

Praying for you!

God bless you!!

~Deuteronomy (David)
p.s. - here's a quote that I hope you will find beneficial (from pastor/theologian Chuck Swindoll), and a few verses below it that I hope you will find comforting, encouraging and/or useful, as well.

View attachment 271705

Proverbs 3:5-6

See too:
Lamentations 3:19-25 (esp. v22-24)
Romans 8:28​

Thank you for your reply. I spoke with my pastor and he said he is praying for us.

 

[Dino246]

I appreciate your reply!

Something else I remembered after posting my previous reply: after my marriage ended, I found the daily devotional from DivorceCare.org to be encouraging and helpful.

 

[VictorianJesus]

Today I have the opportunity to move out and separate from my husband. I am looking for guidance and prayer. Please help me.

 

[Jimbone]

Today I have the opportunity to move out and separate from my husband. I am looking for guidance and prayer. Please help me.

I'm very sorry to hear your situation like everyone here, this is a hard place to be in. So how exactly does he look at this. I mean I know you said he thinks you should be over it and gets triggered by it being brought up, but how did he react when you first confronted him on it? Was he dismissive from the jump, or did he show guilt and apologize to you? Did you ever feel like he was really sorry for it at any point? Does it bother him that it hurts you? I'm just curious if he ever showed remorse for hurting you at least.

 

[VictorianJesus]

I'm very sorry to hear your situation like everyone here, this is a hard place to be in. So how exactly does he look at this. I mean I know you said he thinks you should be over it and gets triggered by it being brought up, but how did he react when you first confronted him on it? Was he dismissive from the jump, or did he show guilt and apologize to you? Did you ever feel like he was really sorry for it at any point? Does it bother him that it hurts you? I'm just curious if he ever showed remorse for hurting you at least.

When I first confronted him, he become vile and angry. He blamed me saying that he used porn when he was upset with me, but later he admitted that he used porn when he got these urges.

 

[VictorianJesus]

When I first confronted him, he become vile and angry. He blamed me saying that he used porn when he was upset with me, but later he admitted that he used porn when he got these urges.

When I first confronted him, he become vile and angry. He blamed me saying that he used porn when he was upset with me, but later he admitted that he used porn when he got these urges.

My husband was dismissive saying that it did not have anything to do with our marriage. He treated me with contempt and still does when I bring up the subject. I do not think he is sincerely sorry and does not show any empathy for me. I do not think he is capable of feeling empathy for how this has devastated me. He has said he is sorry, but I do not believe he is truly remorseful.

 

[Karlon]

My family is crumbling and so am I. My husband and I have been married for 34 years and I discovered that he was using porn for the entire marriage. I am not healing after 3 years. I am an emotional wreck and my husband refuses to help me heal. I have stayed for the kids but I can’t take the pain anymore. I have a broken spirit. Please give me advice.

i am sorry to hear of these troubles. i wish for you immediate spiritual healing.
what to do:
1. become a born again Christian immediately if you are not one.
2. pray to Jesus about all the concerns. ask Him to show you all the wrong elements.
3. go to your favorite quiet place & search yourself & admit, identify, recognize & correct all your faults. being dishonest in any area can obviate a solution.
4. find a known trusted Christian pastor & or counselor, & meet with said person, you & your husband.
5. pray & believe, don't for 1 moment let you belief stray.
6. sometimes a trusted friend can render proper advice.
almost always, if a guy is viewing porn, there's something he's not happy about concerning the relationship. of the fine personal details of romance, see if you were denying him something. that is almost always the case. about beauty, Adrian Rogers once said, "women, keep yourselves beautiful for your husbands". blessings to you. i will pray for you.