Crumbling marriage

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HealthAndHappiness

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Jul 7, 2022
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#61
Actually what you accused me of you just did by not posting the complete verse 32 which is the point of Jesus words I emphasized. Imagine that, you do what you accused others of doing. You probably do it so much you don't even know it. It's a natural habit by now for you.
Of course I read the entire verse and chapter.
I posted the part where Jesus was rebuking the wicked Jewish leaders for teaching their members that it's ok to divorce and commit adultery, so you wouldn't get confused . I guess I failed there.
You are leading this woman to divorce her husband and Jesus says the following.
32But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Divorce and adultery are serious.
Everyone will suffer including her children if she follows your advice. It will likely lead to the actual activity of adultery.
 

lrs68

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Dec 30, 2024
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#62
Of course I read the entire verse and chapter.
I posted the part where Jesus was rebuking the wicked Jewish leaders for teaching their members that it's ok to divorce and commit adultery, so you wouldn't get confused . I guess I failed there.
You are leading this woman to divorce her husband and Jesus says the following.
32But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Divorce and adultery are serious.
Everyone will suffer including her children if she follows your advice. It will likely lead to the actual activity of adultery.
You still have purposely skipped past the portion where Jesus said, "saving for the cause of FORNICATION."

The husband committed FORNICATION over and over and over again and still has attitude about it which means he has not repented and would still be doing it.
 

HealthAndHappiness

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#63
You still have purposely skipped past the portion where Jesus said, "saving for the cause of FORNICATION."

The husband committed FORNICATION over and over and over again and still has attitude about it which means he has not repented and would still be doing it.
You obviously did not read my post.

The Holy Spirit opened the page of my Bible to Matthew 5 before I sat down. He brought my eyes to the verse supernaturally to explain it to you.

The Lord did point out the gravity of the sin of adultery. Jesus did not equate fornication and adultery.
Go back and read the post and the example from Genesis.

There's a volume of Bible doctrine available to you from the Traditional Text on the subject of fornication, marriage, adultery, divorce. Before advising someone who is going through an emotional crisis to do something that will make the current situation pale in comparison, please read the bible through from cover to cover. Please study the subject with tears asking God for guidance.
 

lrs68

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Dec 30, 2024
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#64
You obviously did not read my post.

The Holy Spirit opened the page of my Bible to Matthew 5 before I sat down. He brought my eyes to the verse supernaturally to explain it to you.

The Lord did point out the gravity of the sin of adultery. Jesus did not equate fornication and adultery.
Go back and read the post and the example from Genesis.

There's a volume of Bible doctrine available to you from the Traditional Text on the subject of fornication, marriage, adultery, divorce. Before advising someone who is going through an emotional crisis to do something that will make the current situation pale in comparison, please read the bible through from cover to cover. Please study the subject with tears asking God for guidance.
Keep talking in circles because it doesn't fly with me.

Jesus said if one of the married people commit fornication and the other person divorces that adultery won't be committed.
 

Shepherd

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May 11, 2022
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#65
Jude 1:7
7Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.
 

Shepherd

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May 11, 2022
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#66
Jude 1:7
7Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.

Where do people get the idea that "fornication" is merely having sex before marriage? I'm sure it INCLUDES that. But The Sodomites and Gomorrites(is that a word?) were not simply committing "adultery" or having sex before marriage. They were homosexuals and vile perverts. Suppose this husband goes "gay" or is molesting children; some men even molest their OWN children. I believe this is what the "exception" clause includes. Yeah, if dad is risking bringing home an STD like AIDS or is molesting the kids, by all means, it's time to leave and leave NOW! But I don't think looking at pornography is the same as physical adultery, nor fornication. What if a man THINKS about having adultery, is it time for a divorce? Because, if you picture something like that in your mind, it's the same as looking at it in a magazine or internet. Wrong, yes, but not the same as the physical act. Stop trying to get this lady to leave her husband(unless he's doing some of the things mentioned above).
 

HealthAndHappiness

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#67
Jude 1:7
7Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.
Romans chapter 1< beginning with verse 18 describes how a person becomes Sodomite with more details. We should not presume a man that none of us knows will become a criminal Sodomite because of pornography.

This woman has marital challenges just like many and SHOULD seek God's direction instead of listening to some of these newbie forum members who might not even be believers. I agree that they have no business trying to persuade anyone to get a divorce.
God's will is reconciliation.
 

timemeddler

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Jul 13, 2023
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#68
4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who [a]made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

7 They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?”

8 He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for [b]sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

No where does Christ endorse divorce,(duh) but anyone who does has to stay single after that point. It also doesn't say there no sin in getting a divorce because of immorality, it just isn't the sin of adultery. Sin of adultery vs sin of divorce? Thoughts?
 

HealthAndHappiness

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#69
4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who [a]made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

7 They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?”

8 He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for [b]sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

No where does Christ endorse divorce,(duh) but anyone who does has to stay single after that point. It also doesn't say there no sin in getting a divorce because of immorality, it just isn't the sin of adultery. Sin of adultery vs sin of divorce? Thoughts?

According to some, Jesus was telling them in a sense, If you think your reasons for divorce are legit, I'll give you even MORE! If they commit any type of sexual sin then divorce them for that too, even if you suspect they had a lustful thought!

You would think they'd stop ask themselves this question.
 

Shepherd

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May 11, 2022
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#70
Romans chapter 1< beginning with verse 18 describes how a person becomes Sodomite with more details. We should not presume a man that none of us knows will become a criminal Sodomite because of pornography.

This woman has marital challenges just like many and SHOULD seek God's direction instead of listening to some of these newbie forum members who might not even be believers. I agree that they have no business trying to persuade anyone to get a divorce.
God's will is reconciliation.
If you assume this is what I meant to do, I would ask that you read post#66 again.
 

HealthAndHappiness

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#71
If you assume this is what I meant to do, I would ask that you read post#66 again.

No, I was actually supporting your point. Sorry, it's easy to not always be clear writing online while tired.

Romans 1 gives further details though.
It talks about them not wanting to retain God in their mind. They did not even want to think about Him.
Porn is certainly dangerous and even moreso when children are exposed to it, like many public schools and libraries promote.

I'm a firm believer in the reprobates doctrine you described.
I just wanted to clarify with Romans offering explicit details of how that comes about. They rejected God, so He rejected them and gave them over to whatever their proclivities were...in a nutshell.

We agreed that no man or woman should be divorcing their spouse over lustful thoughts or pictures. It would be best if they, the offended spouse, offered help with overcoming any addictions.
Even Paul wrote to the Corinthians about issues with the unbelieving spouse.
It's upsetting to read so many others wresting the Scriptures to make Jesus out as someone Who promoted putting away/separation/ divorce, isn't it?
 

lrs68

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#72
I am amazed that so many don't understand when Jesus said UNLESS...... sexual immorality is committed that in legal terms means everything else is adultery but divorcing because of sexual immorality is not leading to adultery.

Makes me wonder how many commit sexual immorality against their spouses and now trying to justify it.
 
Jan 19, 2025
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#73
Sorry to hear this, although, your worth is in Him, not in your husband’s sin. Surround yourself with faith-filled support, pray for wisdom, and trust God’s plan for your peace. 🙏❤️
 

JohnDB

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Jan 16, 2021
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#74
My husband was dismissive saying that it did not have anything to do with our marriage. He treated me with contempt and still does when I bring up the subject. I do not think he is sincerely sorry and does not show any empathy for me. I do not think he is capable of feeling empathy for how this has devastated me. He has said he is sorry, but I do not believe he is truly remorseful.
He is desperate to try to minimize his guilt. IOW he knows he is guilty but doesn't want to own it.

You can extend grace....but I wouldn't unless he starts some REAL counseling about why he views this stuff. Why he feels the need to have a private life separate from you. His porn use is not necessarily related to his love and desire for you. I know this sounds strange but most of the time when it comes to people the shortest distance between two points (one being the desired outcome) is never a straight line.

His porn viewing likely has absolutely nothing to do with you. Weird but likely true even though you feel the most hurt by the situation. And the other likely scenario is that he doesn't truly want to lose you either but feels like he is in a "no win" scenario. Much like some people feel so sinful they don't believe that God can ever forgive and love them.

Ultimately what is better? A failed marriage and home or a reconciled family that has problems? I'm not saying he is innocent....but the other likely scenario is that you are not completely innocent in this marriage either. You know of what I speak and I (nor anyone but he) don't need to know.

Up to you....I pray you both will make wiser choices.
 

JohnDB

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#75
Aside from all the various Biblical interpretations being argued vehemently....

Some guys use porn in the same way that heroin addicts use opiates. It's a form of self medication and soothing for some type of emotional vacancy. It can be the lack of a healthy relationships with family members or a lack of feeling manly/adult enough in a group of other men as if they don't measure up for some reason.

It is not strictly the desire for a sexual relationship outside the bounds of marriage....although the steady consumption of porn can most definitely lead to that. And porn is always leading into more perversion than where it starts. Just like recreational narcotics abuse leads to a larger and increasing tolerance the viewing of porn leads a person to view more twisted and more perverted porn until it fills their entire life.

Which I have a feeling (but no direct evidence from a scientific study) that this is why we have an epidemic of child sex trafficking in the world today. However there is plenty of evidence and correlations already established to believe this is the case.

Then there are the people being videoed or photographed. The abuses in the adult entertainment industry from willing and sometimes unwilling participants are insane on any normal day. These are broken people as well....taken advantage of by others for an abysmally small amount of money. Sometimes for as little as what you spend at a decent restaurant for dinner. Their face, body, and actions will be viewed for the next 50+ years by strangers. Including those on Only Fans. Nothing in the Digital Sphere ever dies.
 

jacko

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Sep 2, 2024
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#76
why is divorce so high in America? Because it's all about me.

Love keeps no records of wrongs... hint hint..
 

jacko

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#77
My husband was dismissive saying that it did not have anything to do with our marriage. He treated me (1) with contempt and still does when I (2) bring up the subject. I (3) do not think he is sincerely sorry and does not show any empathy for me (4). I (5)do not think he is capable of feeling empathy for how this has devastated me (6). He has said he is sorry, but I (7) do not believe he is truly remorseful.

how many times should we forgive 70 x 7....
 

lrs68

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Dec 30, 2024
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#78
My husband was dismissive saying that it did not have anything to do with our marriage. He treated me (1) with contempt and still does when I (2) bring up the subject. I (3) do not think he is sincerely sorry and does not show any empathy for me (4). I (5)do not think he is capable of feeling empathy for how this has devastated me (6). He has said he is sorry, but I (7) do not believe he is truly remorseful.

how many times should we forgive 70 x 7....
Is he narcissistic? If so, he will never be remorseful nor think twice about doing it again. So even though you may forgive and forgive and forgive, it eventually comes down to how long do you want to be abused.
 

jacko

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#79
Is he narcissistic? If so, he will never be remorseful nor think twice about doing it again. So even though you may forgive and forgive and forgive, it eventually comes down to how long do you want to be abused.


My wife has cursed me many times things so nasty beyond belief…. Things so hurtful it made me cry deep down inside of my soul.. I take those complaints to the Lord, and yes, he can make do miracles and change their hearts.
 

lrs68

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Dec 30, 2024
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#80
My wife has cursed me many times things so nasty beyond belief…. Things so hurtful it made me cry deep down inside of my soul.. I take those complaints to the Lord, and yes, he can make do miracles and change their hearts.
I will keep you in my prayers 🙏