And to be Clear. The Three Years Part is Because I have recently found out that I was in something called Limerance. Which is I fell in Love one sided. She told me from the beginning what it meant to her. And I was so lonely that I let myself, We both actually let each other be treated like doormats in different ways out of pure carnal pleasure and desire for each other. When in Reality we were both Just Masking our Pain. Hurt people, Hurt People...
I pushed a relationship early on and it was amazing for about the first year. But, when it became apparent that it was more of a fantasy and not a reality. Then you can only imagine how the next year went. And then I broke it off and starting seeing someone else which obviously what I am not trying to do now as that was a mistake in itself as I was not even remotely healed. And then she came back to me and I took her back. Hence the Last Year. And I know that I am Oversharing. And Yes, I am and have been going to Therapy for the First Times in My Life. Through the Church and Otherwise. But they are so booked up that I have to wait Months in between or to even get in to see them. I actually have an appointment on November 4th. We will see how that goes and if I will be able to see them more frequently...
You Are More than Encouraging. Thank You. And you are very insightful, especially for your age. I believe that you are on the right path. I am so Happy to read these words from someone so young. Praise Jesus...I feel compelled to respond to this as someone who has horrible anxiety, from the time of birth. Its okay, you arent condemned by God, youre loved. And your anxiety isnt even a automatic display of your spiritual progress as some have implied. You can be very spiritual, and still struggle. And honestly, I would love to see their whole life because im 100% sure that everyone here has at least one area where they are not fully "christian" in. My definition being this "christian like" sinless perfection, which is almost God level. I honestly doubt we'll ever get there here on this earth, though we all strive for it.
Anxiety and depression are hard. I wish that more Christians understood this! It seems that many dont, their words do not help in any sense. The lack of compassion and true understanding grieves my heart. They mean to help but they do not. I want to extend forgiveness towrds these people with compassion for their ignorance, sometimes its hard. Its the right thing to do though. Lord knows nobody knows everything, and really its honorable that they try to help.
It is worth noting that you are doing the right thing, depending on God through it. This doesnt mean youll find peace, or even feel it. But it does mean you'll have stability. God never leaves, and you have guidance. I dont know if ill ever feel peace, but I hope to one day. I pray very often, and read the Bible. These things have not healed me completely, because only God can, and despite my endless petition he has chosen not to. I still keep my faith, as do you and this is a wonderful thing.
My advice would be that you remind yourself of his love, his forgivness and compassion towrds you. Remember that hes not dissapointed or ashamed, and that he loves you unfathomably in ways you cant comprehend through these dark times. Continue trying to have faith through such difficult times, its important to keep our piety even through times of hopelessness. And remember, even when you don't slip, if you get burnt out as I do, God still loves you. Hes willing to accept you as you are and help you through to get to where you need to be. He will help.
As for being alone, its not good for man to be alone. We need people. We cant live completely alone. We are social beings. If you have good Godly friends, I would recommend you spend time with them, or even a pastor
Im not at the point where I trust many people, though im only 23 so I have time to continue to learn. My friends are few and far between but I do have a pastor i seek counsel from. This helps greatly. I also have an awesome husband.
Try not to rush being in a personal relationship with a person to fill the gaps of loneliness and isolation. But remember if you do, it can still turn out beautiful, honor God with everything you do and he can turn any situation into a better one. I married my husband after two weeks of dating( and two years of freindship) and it was rough at first but we are doing SO much better. We both want to honor God and seek to follow the God through his word faithfully. Have grace on yourself. And dont let others tell you whether or not youre where you need to be spiritually, consider their opinions but also be mindful that many times they're wrong.
I hope my advice can help, though these topics are so personal its so hard to know what will or wont help. And im sorry if I give more pain than encouragement.
I feel compelled to respond to this as someone who has horrible anxiety, from the time of birth. Its okay, you arent condemned by God, youre loved. And your anxiety isnt even a automatic display of your spiritual progress as some have implied. You can be very spiritual, and still struggle. And honestly, I would love to see their whole life because im 100% sure that everyone here has at least one area where they are not fully "christian" in. My definition being this "christian like" sinless perfection, which is almost God level. I honestly doubt we'll ever get there here on this earth, though we all strive for it.
Anxiety and depression are hard. I wish that more Christians understood this! It seems that many dont, their words do not help in any sense. The lack of compassion and true understanding grieves my heart. They mean to help but they do not. I want to extend forgiveness towrds these people with compassion for their ignorance, sometimes its hard. Its the right thing to do though. Lord knows nobody knows everything, and really its honorable that they try to help.
It is worth noting that you are doing the right thing, depending on God through it. This doesnt mean youll find peace, or even feel it. But it does mean you'll have stability. God never leaves, and you have guidance. I dont know if ill ever feel peace, but I hope to one day. I pray very often, and read the Bible. These things have not healed me completely, because only God can, and despite my endless petition he has chosen not to. I still keep my faith, as do you and this is a wonderful thing.
My advice would be that you remind yourself of his love, his forgivness and compassion towrds you. Remember that hes not dissapointed or ashamed, and that he loves you unfathomably in ways you cant comprehend through these dark times. Continue trying to have faith through such difficult times, its important to keep our piety even through times of hopelessness. And remember, even when you don't slip, if you get burnt out as I do, God still loves you. Hes willing to accept you as you are and help you through to get to where you need to be. He will help.
As for being alone, its not good for man to be alone. We need people. We cant live completely alone. We are social beings. If you have good Godly friends, I would recommend you spend time with them, or even a pastor
Im not at the point where I trust many people, though im only 23 so I have time to continue to learn. My friends are few and far between but I do have a pastor i seek counsel from. This helps greatly. I also have an awesome husband.
Try not to rush being in a personal relationship with a person to fill the gaps of loneliness and isolation. But remember if you do, it can still turn out beautiful, honor God with everything you do and he can turn any situation into a better one. I married my husband after two weeks of dating( and two years of freindship) and it was rough at first but we are doing SO much better. We both want to honor God and seek to follow the God through his word faithfully. Have grace on yourself. And dont let others tell you whether or not youre where you need to be spiritually, consider their opinions but also be mindful that many times they're wrong.
I hope my advice can help, though these topics are so personal its so hard to know what will or wont help. And im sorry if I give more pain than encouragement.
Thank You Edith, Your Kind Words and Compassion are ALWAYS Appreciated...
Outside of Church and Work. I do spend A lot of time alone. The WILL Part is my biggest issue right now. I really have zero motivation and I am searching for it desperately. The only solace that I get when I am in my home alone comes from keeping my Bible close to me. I sleep with it next to me, Usually with my hand on it for comfort. I lay on my back and hug it on my chest when I feel so bad that I do not know what else to do. My heartbreak is beyond measure. However, I will stop calling it. "My" Anxiety. I know this post is Full of, "My's". So, Thank for that. I will start watching what I say as I don't want or need to be claiming these things over myself. That is a Very Good point. I Truly Hope that you find the Love and Peace that You Deserve as Well. I Hope and Pray that God sets You Free. I Pray that the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY. Sets US ALL FREE... AMEN 
Thank You Edith, Your Kind Words and Compassion are ALWAYS Appreciated...
Very Helpful, Thank You.Rejoice always,
17 pray without ceasing,
18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
I Thess.5:16-18.
I do know something about Limerance and it is indeed very debilitating, but it can be resolved.
The emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual all need to be considered in overcoming depression.
There is much information on all this to help, however I would just like to hone in on few things.
I am going to appeal to authority a bit, because my son is a neuroscientist and he has taught me a lot about the brain (not psychology but the physics of the brain) over the past few years and taking care of our brain is so very important and we sometimes forget to do this, nor do we know how.
One thing that is important is to reduce activities that cause dopamine rushes and work on activities which increase serotonin.
There is a lot information on the internet about how to increase serotonin, I urge you to do the research.
The spiritual side is found in the verse cited above. This is list of actionable items which I think (no research cited, lol)
increases serotonin.
Here is book on it. I highly recommend.
"Unconditional Joy" by Dr. Glen Nowell.
Also, remember that the Bible is the source for knowing about God..... but fellowship in His Grace is the source of knowing God.
Jesus invites us to draw from the well of life/grace daily.... enabling grace comes from agreeing with Him that all He states is true, the first on the list is that He is Love.
John 4:14:
Jesus offers "living water" to the woman at the well, saying that whoever drinks it will never be thirsty again.
I hope this is helpful.
Hey, @Snackersmom Do you actually have a child named Snacker???Yes Ma'am, I Wish the Best for You. Thank You for Sharing and for Your Heartfelt Compassion. It means more than you know...
I don't believe that.
Excellent Point!!!
This Makes me feel Better. I am at least trying. I guess I was referring to me procrastinating on the things that I need to be doing. I Should be asking you and anyone reading this and willing to pray for me. Instead of Wallowing in self pity. I get home, And I constantly fill my time with this site, I call anyone that is available to talk to me. Just to keep me from Uncontrollably Crying Myself to Sleep. Because of negative ruminating thoughts. Instead of actually working on my house or working on myself. I have realized that I have always had such a passion to help others with their troubles. When the Truth all along was that I was Avoiding my Own. Thank You for calling me out and reminding me of these things...
Hey, @Snackersmom Do you actually have a child named Snacker???
Amazing Story!!! Thank You for Sharing...Haha not exactly, Snackers was a college art project that I joked was my first child. He is made out of ceramic, so no biological relation!
Thank You Edith, Your Kind Words and Compassion are ALWAYS Appreciated...
