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I'm single because I haven't met a girl who will ask me out yet. And I'm too lazy to ask her out.

I can, but I'm not. Nope nope nope nope.

*Lynx peers over the edge of his perch, throws a chocolate truffle at jacko and goes back to sleep.

I just turned the heat on! I'm usually defaulting to cover up rather than crank it up. Not because I am a skinflint, but because I just don't see the point in wasting a lot of heat when I could just trap what I am generating. But tonight I finally turned the heat on... Because it's supposed...

Indolence. I just haven't bothered trying to find somebody. Apathy. I just haven't cared enough to go looking for somebody. Self-sufficiency. I know how to cook. I know how to clean. I know how to do my laundry. I don't need no woman. :p But mostly I'm just lazy.

When that ponzi scheme collapses, you don't have to be a player to lose. Just ask all the old guys who were selling apples on the sidewalk in the 1930s.

I'm on lunch break, with people around. I will listen to them when I get home tonight.

Where they really come from: A tradition is anything a boomer has done twice.

Depends on the casserole. Depends on who made it. Certain casseroles from certain people never last very long at church dinners here. We know who made them and we know they are good. The problem with good casseroles is, too many people know who made them and that they are good. There's never...

What? You thought companies were giving people discounts in phone apps for free? Out of the goodness of their corporate hearts? They definitely profit from it.

Jackie ain't wrong...

It is the Linux of currency, regulated by the community. Or at least by a massive community of computers all over the world. That is where the analogy ends. It certainly ain't free like Linux.

From what I've heard, it's only a crime if you get caught.

Shoot, if she doesn't have any empathy and doesn't believe in God we won't even make it to the first date. Don't need no list for that. I figure we will talk a lot and figure out the rest between us as we go. I've heard that's what dates are for. (Never been on one myself, but that's what I've...

I dunno... This whole thing just feels like one of the quizzes My mother was always taking in that cosmo magazine she read. Or in more modern terms, those Facebook quizzes girls are always talking about. "I know you love me honey, and I swear I love you a lot! But I took this quiz online and...

I just use two fingernails, like my father and my father's father before me. I will take that popper and use it as a linchpin in some machine someday. In its place I leave an empty Styrofoam clamshell container. I just ate lunch, you see...

You unplug it sometimes? I thought you left it plugged in 24/7.

Once upon a time at w*rk there was a new kid who was doing something very wrong, something that would make customers sick. When I tried to correct him on this, he gave me back talk to the effect that no managers had told him this. I said we can fix that, and went off to get a manager. (I am paid...

Ask my late pastor's wife said, he who tooteth his own horn, it shall be tooted. :cool:

I'm not doing decorations this year, because I always did it grudgingly for Grandma and now she is gone. Bah humbug. Etc. They look nice on other people's houses, but not nice enough for me to bother with it myself. On Christmas Eve the family all gets together for finger foods and gift...