seouls I dont think many people who are truly single actually want to match themselves up with anybody,
thats the reason why they are single! why try and force a square peg into a round hole? I dont get that.
I just find it annoying when peoole keep going on and on about how you HAVE to be with somebody else as if being single is a disease. Its not, and it also doesnt mean we dont have any friends either!!!
sorry its just every single thread you keep going on and on about how you are single
like Im single Im single Im single look at me wow I am so single...
is there nothing else to talk about lol
this is the singles forum so...its a given that you might be single.
I was trying to think of a way to condense everything I wanted to say in just a few concise little sentences, but it looks like this post, as with many I write, might wind up being a bit lengthy. Sorry in advance for the long read.
I think part of getting to know a person well is being able to get to watch someone during a variety of life's circumstances, and that it's equally, if not more important, to know how someone handles adversity. Lanolin, I thank you for that opportunity.
If I go back over almost all the threads I've written while you've been here, I can nearly always count on you coming into the threads I write at some point and saying essentially the same things over and over: 1. "What's going on here? I just don't understand. Seoul, this idea is ridiculous and never going to work." 2. "Seoul, you have problems. Here, Let me point them out to you and tell you what you need to do about them, because I know." 3. "Seoul, everything you write is a waste of time and nobody here wants or needs what you're trying to sell (and if they do, boy are they pathetic."
These may not be your exact words, but, after reading your posts to me in my past threads, I've come to see a pattern, and this is what you tell me in nearly every single thread I write.
Now, if that's the way you feel, there's nothing wrong with that -- you're entitled to your own opinion. My first approach was to always try to explain to you my ideas behind the thread and why I was trying it out, but that never seemed like a good enough answer for you, as you would always answer with more criticisms. Because my reasons to you were always ignored, I'm going to stop trying to explain them anymore. If the original posts introducing the thread didn't set up enough of a premise, I'm afraid I can't be of much more help to you.
Some people "get" my personality and some don't -- which is perfectly fine and absolutely normal. I don't mind when people disagree with me or even dislike/hate me or what I'm doing because I know that's just part of life. You can't please everyone or make everyone understand where you're coming from, and I don't try.
It honestly feels like you pounce on every thread I write in anticipation of putting it through the shredder. And if that's what you enjoy doing and feel God has called you to do that personally, by all means, keep going. I would be wrong to stop you.
But for you or anyone else who feels I'm doing something wrong, I always tell them the same thing once they've confronted me out in the open: pray against me. That's right. You go to God and tell Him absolutely everything you think I'm doing wrong and why. Believe me, it works. There have been times when I've changed my mind about something I wanted to write, or how I wanted to say it. So whatever you think I'm doing wrong or whatever it is you read about me that you think needs to be fixed, I invite, even implore you to go to God and ask Him to fix me right up right and proper and just the way you think I should be.
In the meantime, it's not going to stop me from continuing to do what I'm doing (unless God puts a stop to it Himself.) I asked Him a long time ago whose criticism I should take to heart in life and I believe He told me, if someone has proven they are willing to bleed for you and with you during the worst times you go through, those are the people you should listen to.
I'm also not a "yes" person. I'm not someone who needs to be told "yes" or affirmed all the time -- just ask my closest friend about that, because they never feel bad about disagreeing with me! Lol! But I've also seen their hearts bleed out right along with mine during my darkest moments, and so I have no doubts about trusting them. If anything, I try to look at adversity as something that teaches me better, stronger, and more efficient ways of doing something (at least I hope.)
So if the things I say or do bother you so much, I would suggest putting me on Ignore immediately, but I'm guessing you won't, because I think you genuinely enjoy replying to my threads -- which is fine, and you have a right to do that. But I've also come to expect your rebuttals like clockwork and though I will try to answer, every time I do, I know that I'm just turning in circles because you'll have another way to word the exact same criticisms (with a few new ones thrown in) all over again every time I put something up.
To
@christian74,
@laughingheart, and others who seem to enjoy these threads, thank you very much and I hope it's been edifying for you. Laughingheart made an excellent point in one of her posts about finding out that other members have the same interests -- I personally think this is something huge that's missing from the church.
Bible studies are wonderful but there is usually no time or effort put into actually getting to know each other or about each other's lives, which is a crucial component that many of us are missing. Almost every human being wants someone to talk to that they know, and someone who knows them. They need a regular check-in with other human beings who, along with Bible passages and lessons, take the time to ask them if their dog is recovering from his surgery; how are they doing with their kids being home all the time; what's that great creative project you have going and could you show me your progress, because I'd love to see what you're working on!
Without that, many of us are missing an entire component of who and what God made us to be -- one visit to the Family Forum and you'll see that thousands of Christian marriages are breaking up because of a sheer lack of real human connection. And I agree that we don't necessarily need romantic connections to have that, either. Some people have them, and some people don't. Some people want them, and some people don't.
But Lanolin, you are someone who needs that kind of connection just as much as anyone, and probably more so, even if you don't see it. You seem to enjoy posting about the things that are important to you -- your garden, your library, and your annoying clingy friends. You've even said in your posts that you like coming here to share and to vent. Wouldn't you feel like something was missing if you weren't able to do that?
This is how many of us singles feel as well. We are simply looking for others we might have something in common with to talk to and build friendships with, whether it turns into anything else or not, and these are the types of connections I'm trying to help build here. You may feel just find after coming and venting through generic posts to an audience of strangers, but some of us need more than that and my hope for people here is that they will find and connect with real individuals, and not just pixels on a screen. Whatever works for you, that's great! But it might not work as well for other people.
For myself, one of the things that's kept me going is meeting people here online, developing long-time correspondences (several years), and then possibly being able to meet them in person when I'm traveling to see family. This past year I met about 7 people from CC, though some are no longer members, but our original introductions took place right here in the forums.
When we are given something, the Bible tells us that God wants us to share it with others. This site has given me wonderful opportunities to learn, grow, and meet exceptional people, so one of the reasons I put so much time, effort, and energy into these threads is because I'm trying to hopefully give others a chance for the same kinds of friendships I have found here.
I understand your concerns Lanolin, and I know you'll keep bringing them up.
But in all honesty, if you don't know who I am and what I stand for from all the posts I've written that you've read (at least, I'm assuming you actually read them before tearing them apart, but I could be wrong,) then there's nothing more I can do to try to help explain anything further to you about what I say or who I am.
Again, if what I do and write irks you so much, please put me on Ignore as soon as you finish reading this.
And if you don't... Well then all I can say is that you must like using them as a springboard for whatever negativity you find in them, and in me.
It's your right to do so -- I just may not answer to the extent you seem to be looking for every single time.