First off, I'm setting aside any possible contentions over some of your statements (which I addressed above).
What changed for me? Hmm....It's complicated.
I guess I became aware of my selfishness and sin-proneness and wanted help to be better, and forgiveness for my failures. It wasn't one event but a series of things - An addiction to a hateful fantasy. A speech at school that explained love. An apparently selfless act by a sibling that I was used to contending with that startled me out of complacency. Natural questioning of what one has been taught that arise around the age of 13.
There was one big thing in my childhood denomination announcing huge doctrinal changes and consequently splintering into multiple pieces, but the developmental context this experience happened in was just as significant.
No, I didn't overcome the mental addiction. In truth I didn't even really understand forgiveness. Rather I went from seeing a God that damned you if you did and damned you if you didn't, to one that actually had a right answer He was looking for, though it was still an impossible target, just not so obviously so. It wasn't till much later that all of these things got resolved, but my decision to follow Jesus back then had put me on the path to get there eventually on all of this. Of note, it first required learning of the gifts of the spirit before God had a sufficient means to get me there.
What changed for me? Hmm....It's complicated.
I guess I became aware of my selfishness and sin-proneness and wanted help to be better, and forgiveness for my failures. It wasn't one event but a series of things - An addiction to a hateful fantasy. A speech at school that explained love. An apparently selfless act by a sibling that I was used to contending with that startled me out of complacency. Natural questioning of what one has been taught that arise around the age of 13.
There was one big thing in my childhood denomination announcing huge doctrinal changes and consequently splintering into multiple pieces, but the developmental context this experience happened in was just as significant.
No, I didn't overcome the mental addiction. In truth I didn't even really understand forgiveness. Rather I went from seeing a God that damned you if you did and damned you if you didn't, to one that actually had a right answer He was looking for, though it was still an impossible target, just not so obviously so. It wasn't till much later that all of these things got resolved, but my decision to follow Jesus back then had put me on the path to get there eventually on all of this. Of note, it first required learning of the gifts of the spirit before God had a sufficient means to get me there.
The, story that you told leads me to believe that you have come to faith and are still growing in faith day by day. God bless you and keep you!
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