For the People Who Champion Lifetime Singleness - What's Your Advice for Dealing with Single Sexuality?
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G
I'm not sure if I responded to this or not, but your question is pertinent. How, indeed, does a Christian who's determined to stay unmarried deal with their sexual drive?
I think for some people it has less hold on them than others, and those folks don't want the hassles of getting married (I think there may be other issues there, but that's for another thread). For me, it's got a stronger hold, and there's no new Mrs Gojira in sight.
This is one of the main reasons I want to remarry. (Oh I can hear all the criticisms now.) Sex was an important part of my marriage -- which was solid, by the way. I want to have that again, and soon (by human standards, not God's, since God's "soon" is slightly different
), but right now, ugh, it ain't looking so good.
How have I dealt with it? I sinned, mostly mentally. And I battled. I lost some, won some. That up and down cycle has followed me through my entire Christian life. I have never found a "cure" for it. That battle I hate, and it is why I call the sex drive the enemy of the single Christian. It is not a good thing.
I will say this: After a slightly heightened commitment to Christ in 2012, God removed something from me that was antagonizing me. It might have been demonic, or maybe just some part of me. But, whatever it was, it was now gone. A habit (not porn, but enslaving and leading to sexual sin nonetheless) was gone. Poof. Knocked out of existence. Instantly. And, certain habits a single man might have were reduced by 50%.
So, I still battle with my internal enemy, the sexual urge, but it has less power over me than it did.
But... why endure this if you can find a good mate? I had a good marriage, and hope for one again before I'm too old to know my name.
I think for some people it has less hold on them than others, and those folks don't want the hassles of getting married (I think there may be other issues there, but that's for another thread). For me, it's got a stronger hold, and there's no new Mrs Gojira in sight.
This is one of the main reasons I want to remarry. (Oh I can hear all the criticisms now.) Sex was an important part of my marriage -- which was solid, by the way. I want to have that again, and soon (by human standards, not God's, since God's "soon" is slightly different
), but right now, ugh, it ain't looking so good.How have I dealt with it? I sinned, mostly mentally. And I battled. I lost some, won some. That up and down cycle has followed me through my entire Christian life. I have never found a "cure" for it. That battle I hate, and it is why I call the sex drive the enemy of the single Christian. It is not a good thing.
I will say this: After a slightly heightened commitment to Christ in 2012, God removed something from me that was antagonizing me. It might have been demonic, or maybe just some part of me. But, whatever it was, it was now gone. A habit (not porn, but enslaving and leading to sexual sin nonetheless) was gone. Poof. Knocked out of existence. Instantly. And, certain habits a single man might have were reduced by 50%.
So, I still battle with my internal enemy, the sexual urge, but it has less power over me than it did.
But... why endure this if you can find a good mate? I had a good marriage, and hope for one again before I'm too old to know my name.
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G
But, Seoul's original question is a good one. I think some people are able to manage their sexual selves better than others, for whatever reason.
I have a female Christian friend who is "contentedly single". However, between her and I there is much sexual tension (fortunately, for our spiritual safety, we don't get to hang out very often due to driving distance). And, it seems that part of her gets stimulated when we're together, but when we're apart, she just gets absorbed into family, chores, and projects. Now for me, I could be thinking about sex at work, in the shower, even at church or while reading Scripture for crying out loud. Perhaps that's the difference.
For me, that drive has always been a big deal, and I miss sex much. NOT contentedly single here, and every day, to varying degrees each day, I win or lose in my heart / mind. I'll resist certain habits one night, but succumb the next. And, I have to repeatedly go back to God to ask Him to forgive me. I wish He'd just take the desire away or give me a good wife or give me my new, sinless, glorified body now.
I have a female Christian friend who is "contentedly single". However, between her and I there is much sexual tension (fortunately, for our spiritual safety, we don't get to hang out very often due to driving distance). And, it seems that part of her gets stimulated when we're together, but when we're apart, she just gets absorbed into family, chores, and projects. Now for me, I could be thinking about sex at work, in the shower, even at church or while reading Scripture for crying out loud. Perhaps that's the difference.
For me, that drive has always been a big deal, and I miss sex much. NOT contentedly single here, and every day, to varying degrees each day, I win or lose in my heart / mind. I'll resist certain habits one night, but succumb the next. And, I have to repeatedly go back to God to ask Him to forgive me. I wish He'd just take the desire away or give me a good wife or give me my new, sinless, glorified body now.
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From the Wikipedia page on the Laconic Phrase:
"After invading southern Greece and receiving the submission of other key city-states, he [King Phillip II of Macedon] turned his attention to Sparta and asked menacingly whether he should come as friend or foe. The reply was "Neither."[3]
Losing patience, he sent the message:
The Spartan ephors again replied with a single word:
"After invading southern Greece and receiving the submission of other key city-states, he [King Phillip II of Macedon] turned his attention to Sparta and asked menacingly whether he should come as friend or foe. The reply was "Neither."[3]
Losing patience, he sent the message:
If I invade Laconia, I shall turn you out.[4]
The Spartan ephors again replied with a single word:
If "
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Well, I don't intend to attempt an invasion upon anyone, nor am I studly like a Spartan (as much as you may all think otherwise )
But man dude, that was one obscure reference LOL But thanks for explaining. Got to give it to those Spartans.
)But man dude, that was one obscure reference LOL But thanks for explaining. Got to give it to those Spartans.
And no "If's" about it!
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G
Personally, when Desdichado mentioned Spartans, I was just picturing this:
And no "If's" about it!
And no "If's" about it!
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Honestly, me too hahahaha.
I'm reading through the Iliad and appreciate the movie more than I used to. It really channels the vibe you get when you read Homer. They should have filmed 300 like Troy and Troy like 300. But nobody consults me on these things, hahahaha.
I'm reading through the Iliad and appreciate the movie more than I used to. It really channels the vibe you get when you read Homer. They should have filmed 300 like Troy and Troy like 300. But nobody consults me on these things, hahahaha.
Personally, when Desdichado mentioned Spartans, I was just picturing this:
And no "If's" about it!
And no "If's" about it!
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I'm always down for sharing obscure references from may lay research hahahaha
Well, I don't intend to attempt an invasion upon anyone, nor am I studly like a Spartan (as much as you may all think otherwise )
But man dude, that was one obscure reference LOL But thanks for explaining. Got to give it to those Spartans.
)But man dude, that was one obscure reference LOL But thanks for explaining. Got to give it to those Spartans.