V
Hello, I've been a believer for about two years now and floating around the cc threads for about a year. I have been extremely active in the deliverance ministry. With my recent diagnosis of schizophrenia or bi polar or obsessive compulsive disorder oh wait nope, I guess I have panic disorder. (they cant figure it out). (about a year ago)
Whatever they may call it, I have tried medication, I've had others pray over me, but I feel as if I am still over the top struggling with everything and it almost feels worse than it was, while other aspects feel better.
A big part of it happens to be my obsessiveness with beliefs (God, Satan, Medication, Demons, Chemical imbalances) Whenever I am confronted with an anxiety producing situation(talking to women or people in general) I find it much easier to believe that the root of all my problems are from Satan, which seems very comfortable to me for whatever reason. Maybe because I believe I have much to do for God, but then again what is it he wants me to do?
I'm at the point where I have endured every layer of hell. The psychological and physiological (yes, physiological) torment has been so physically, emotionally, and mentally draining that it prevents me from enjoying any aspect of my life.
I just want to get healthier. I have lost every relationship excluding my family, and its nearly impossible to maintain any sort of healthy relationship in my life. I'm tired and I just want to go be with God now( and no,im not in need of suicide assistance) because my life is way too exhausting.
Whatever they may call it, I have tried medication, I've had others pray over me, but I feel as if I am still over the top struggling with everything and it almost feels worse than it was, while other aspects feel better.
A big part of it happens to be my obsessiveness with beliefs (God, Satan, Medication, Demons, Chemical imbalances) Whenever I am confronted with an anxiety producing situation(talking to women or people in general) I find it much easier to believe that the root of all my problems are from Satan, which seems very comfortable to me for whatever reason. Maybe because I believe I have much to do for God, but then again what is it he wants me to do?
I'm at the point where I have endured every layer of hell. The psychological and physiological (yes, physiological) torment has been so physically, emotionally, and mentally draining that it prevents me from enjoying any aspect of my life.
I just want to get healthier. I have lost every relationship excluding my family, and its nearly impossible to maintain any sort of healthy relationship in my life. I'm tired and I just want to go be with God now( and no,im not in need of suicide assistance) because my life is way too exhausting.