Hmm
@HistoryPrincess
I read your OP and I made it to page 6...I'll go back and read the rest a bit later but the post that struck me the most was Post #3
I share the sentiment...umm Lord you know all this stuff is happening. What do you want me to do?
Then I somehow get it into my mind/spirit to do small things like just go to church, just talk to one person about the Lord. Not God, not the bible, but the LORD.
You know how hard that actually is? I've had so many conversations, long-winded 6hr+ convos about all things spiritual with lots of scripture and lot of "semi-rebukes" but I can't clearly rebuke them because they delve into the esoteric. To steer it toward Jesus? Incredibly difficult. To actually share the gospel. Not believe in Jesus and be saved. Even demons believe that...but do you know him as your personal Lord and savior, do you want to walk in the light of his glory and submit to him in all you do and pick up your cross and follow him?
We can talk about God all day but talking about Yeshua is incredibly difficult. I would encourage you to make that attempt...no idea if you are or not so don't take it as if I do and this is judgmental.
That's my own personal struggle.
I could write/speak/type all day about the intricacies of the world's problems and keep going and keep going every day because new problems crop up. Is that productive? Is that beneficial?
Do I sometimes think God is asleep at the wheel or if he isn't he doesn't include me in his plans for the state of the world's affairs and how we need to manage them. That's his job. If he places you or I in a position of authority to change things...he will do so very clearly.
I mean even if you were a public speaker, do you realize how divided even the world is with politics?
Take out Christians for a moment. Let us assume (for the sake of argument) that Jesus did not "get into politics" (which I don't believe he did as per scripture) and that a believer has no business there. Again assume for a moment.
And then you take a look at the U.S as a whole. See the division? Who do you think is sowing that? Who do you think is the god of this world as per scripture? What was the second temptation?
So you can either choose to see that or not.
Would I love for the Father to just change that and make this a utopian society by force? Certainly...but that's what the millenial reign is.
I don't really have any friends either. Even when I learned to modulate what I said and people finally were able to "see me" a little bit they could only see a little bit. So I guess I could say I have friends but they aren't real "battle partners" in the ways I would like. When I have a burning need that is also a burning prayer request I often get met with a blase attitude. Then I realize I often respond this way to others also...but I do care. So maybe they do too? if you ask those targeted questions in a conversational way and sort of show that you'd be surprised that sometimes we react to the surface more often than not.
I might have said this before to you. I know I said it once here on this site. NO ONE sees you but him. NO ONE knows you COMPLETELY but him. We can't in the same way they can't see me...we can't even see all of ourselves only HE can. Our sight is limited. We see in
part.
^That's one of the coolest things about his return and faith being sight that I'm looking forward to. I can provide a scripture reference if you'd like.
I know pride and arrogance when I see it. I myself have been incredibly filled with the same, it took me a while to see what type of fruit it really produces. It attracts things that possibly you may have to experience...I hope not
I'll admit there are times I get confused as to where I end and he begins. You may very well be filled with a lot of the spirit but it's the spirit that fills you not you yourself, and he doesn't like pride. I learned this something like the hard way and no one really saw my own personal "fall from grace" into the pit. A lot of things are private and I still have doubts but that's human. Trust is a choice. Faith is a gift.
In regards to the OP and a few other posts.
You are lumping Christians in with non-christians. No one that promotes hatred of the sort you described in your last paragraph is a believer.
You also said to not trust the church. I disagree. The body of believers that reveres the Lord and worships him in spirit and truth should be trusted. Certainly it should ALWAYS be seen in The WORD. If not, cast it aside.
I have similar trust issues with believers, I'm not quick to call them out and I first go to prayer at this point and it's amazing how much that changes things. Other times not...my political prayers, and solving the world's problems prayers go unanswered.
I factor in my own spiritual pride and the plank that is in my own eye, it allows me to "see" them. At least what he allows me to see. Enough to be open that maybe just maybe I have found another believer.
We aren't alone but we are far apart. Most people here won't ever understand you...I think I do a little bit. You voice things in a way that if I were here a few years ago I probably would have also. I fell from my ivory tower though and realized there are things I legit need to call out to God for AND things I need in other believers for edification and sharpening my own iron.
There was a silent period where I couldn't figure out what to do. I felt like I should be going to bible studies and growing with other men my own age and I didn't like that. Then when in a fit of flaming frustration I finally did, it's like the Lord came back somehow. I don't think he was gone just that he didn't design us to be alone by ourselves and some of us are thick headed about it.
Late at night I feel alone and want my own personal pity party and I don't think he's a fan. So what do I do...I submit and realize I haven't arrived and maybe I am being a bit petulant and immature because I "want" something to look a certain way and then complain when it doesn't. HE is the Lord not me.