Ok, flip that coin. Want to know how many times I've heard people tell me I believe you can't be saved unless you speak in tongues. Then argue black and blue with you when you tell them you don't believe that? Want to know how many times I've heard speaking in tongues is from demons? That's it's gibberish, or made up? I've heard the same thing for years. Do you understand there are two sides to it?
Did you like Emmy Kosgei music ?
I would like to tell you HOW I KNOW I WAS SAVED, and When the Holy Spirit came in, I will not leave any details out, but will be brief.
Back early January 1977 when I was 28 years old, (now I am 70), I met a gal at an all night Party. In a whirl wind romance of almost 6 months, we got married. And 6 months after that she demanded a divorce,
Because I could not earn enough money to buy her what she wanted in life. SOME REASON. That was on Christmas EVE no less, when we were suppose to go to my parents house.
I sank into DEEP DEPRESSION, and in the last week of 1977, I attempted suicide THREE TIMES, during that week. I just wanted to CEASE to exist, so I did not care if I hurt my parents, I did not care if I hurt my bother and sister, and I did not care if I hurt my friends via my suicide. The first two times I had a pistol to my head, and that trigger was a fairly light trigger, so with the trigger half pulled, SHEAR TERROR CAME OVER ME, more TERROR than anyone with a knife to my throat could EVER put into me. The first time I felt that kind of FEAR, I dropped the Pistol and it landed on the bed. Then NEXT Night I tried again, and the SAME TERROR came over me, and I dropped the pistol, and it LANDED ON THE FLOOR! I have NO idea why that Pistol did not go off, as with the hammer cocked, and trigger have pulled. I must tell you, on that second night, I had my soon to be ex-wife, on the Phone, because I WANTED HER TO HEAR THE FATAL SHOT.
Two nights later, I tried for the Third Time. That afternoon, I saw the road crew pouring a thick layer of gravel on a dirt road near my house. That evening, I went to the bar and proceeded to get as drunk as three guy could ever get. When the bar closed, I got on my bike {Suzuki 185} and when home to DELIBERATELY Leave my helmet there, and then got on the bike, and rode to the LOOSE GRAVELED RODE. What I did when I got near the LOOSE GRAVEL, I am more ashamed of than anything else. I literally TAUNTED GOD, yelling, "If you want me, you can have me, ANYWHERE YOU WANT ME ON THIS MILE!"
Please, do not think it is alright to test GOD like that, I KNEW IT WAS WRONG!! He had every right to let me kill myself that night.
I opened it to full throttle, wide open, and with NO HELMET, and leaning out over the handle bars, so that I would hit head first with NO HELMET, when I lost control.
I hit END of the loose Gravel mile, the most dangerous surface you can ride a bike on, and came out on the pavement. I stopped the bike and looked back at the loose gravel rode for a few seconds, in bewilderment. I went home very slowly, about 2:00 AM, and sat up until about 5:00 AM, Sobering UP, and wondering what just HAPPENED! I walked to my bedroom, and as I entered, a STARTLING THOUGHT ENTERED MY HEAD. I cannot ride a bike like that, even SOBER!" I realized that THAT GOD HAD TO HAVE REACHED DOWN AND GRABBED MY BIKE AND SAID, "NO YOU DON'T, I HAVE A PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE!"
SUDDENLY WAVE AFTER WAVE OF EXTREME GUILT WASHED OVER ME, NOT JUST FOR ATTEMPTING SUICIDE, BUT MY WHOLE LIFESTYLE WAS A OFFENCE TO MY LORD. I started weeping uncontrollably on my knees at first, but later on I was Prostrate, CONTINUALLY PRAYING,
PLEASE FORGIVE ME, PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I Cried and Prayed like that FOR OVER AN HOUR OR MORE.
THEN SOMETHING HAPPENED TO ME! I either Had a GOD GIVEN DREAM, or A VISION, and I cannot tell you for sure which. If it was a DREAM, it was the MOST VIVID DREAM I EVER HAD. I was still CRYING and Praying, LORD FORGIVE ME, Please FORGIVE ME!, on my KNEES, AT THE FOOT OF THE CROSS, LOOKING UP AND REACHING UP TO HIM. Through the tears I notice NAILS WERE THROUGH HIS WRISTS, and not in the hands. No one at that time ever mention that JEWS consider the Wrist to be part of the Hands, and the only pictures I had seen they were in the PALM of the HANDS.
I even prayed,
"LORD, if you have a purpose for my life, you will have come into it and do it. I CAN NOT DO IT, I AM MAKING A MESS OF IT." No one in the Lutheran Church EVER taught me to pray like that,
I BELIEVE THE HOLY SPIRIT PUT THAT PRAYER IN MY HEART.
I was still on my KNEES reaching up to HIM and I SAW BLOOD DRIP FROM THE NAILS, and it FELL ON MY FOREARMS. To my Surprise, the BLOOD WAS WARM. I KNEW THAT MEANT, I WAS FORGIVEN.
That is where the DREAM or VISION Ended.
I knew I had TOTALLY SURRENDERED TO JESUS CHRIST, and would NEVER take it back.
Did HE TAKE ME UP ON THE OFFER ? ? ? OH YES, through many miracles, HE OPENED THE DOORS for me to become, with no Bible College, a Volunteer Protestant Chaplain, in two California maximum security Prisons, 9 years at on and 6 years at the last.
Even when I was called to deliver Sermons, I gather the Verses a particular subject.
AND THRUST HIM TOTALLY TO GIVE ME WHAT HE WANTED TO SAY ABOUT THOSE VERSES. Never did I write out the sermon and read it to them. And every sermon lasted 45 minutes to an hour. I found I wanted to take sermon notes, because it was not ME, it was the LORD IN ME DELIVERING THE SERMONS.
I could tell you many more minor miracles HE DID, but some other time.
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