Help! My boyfriend keeps watching porn

[7seasrekeyed]

I'm not so sure you're right. I think Jesus does relate sex to marriage, even with the unmarried.
Read John 4:16-18

why did Jesus say what He did to the woman at the well if He thought living together was akin to marriage

He told her she was NOT married

honestly I am surprised you would even say that

I've seen a number of people here equating sex to marriage...the Bible warns against that saying that you become 'one' and that is why sexual sin is so dangerous

even the world calls that 'shacking up'

disagree all you want but don't forget the mop to clean up after the 'lovers' are done ... very easy to leave when you are not married and just go on to the next one

marriage is supposed to be a covenant and for life

 

[7seasrekeyed]

What does the Bible say about living together before marriage?
Living together before marriage has become widely accepted. What does God's Word say about it?

In the time we live in, living together before marriage is becoming more and more common in many parts of the world. A couple of generations ago such practices were virtually inconceivable. However, in recent years we have seen a spiritual decay, both in individuals and in churches all over the world, where cohabitation, homosexual unions and of course divorce and remarriage have become more and more accepted.

source


While the Bible does not make an explicit statement about living in sin, that is not to say the Bible is completely silent on this issue. Rather, we have to put several Scriptures together and glean from them the principle that any sexuality outside of the marriage of one man and one woman is sin. There are numerous Scriptures that declare God’s prohibition of sexual immorality (Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). The Greek word translated “sexual immorality” or “fornication” in these verses is porneia, and it means literally “unlawful lust.” Since the only form of lawful sexuality is the marriage of one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5), then anything outside of marriage, whether it is adultery, premarital sex, homosexuality, or anything else, is unlawful, in other words, sin. Living together before marriage definitely falls into the category of fornication—sexual sin.

Hebrews 13:4 describes the honorable state of marriage: “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” This verse draws a clear distinction between that which is pure and honorable—marriage—and that which is sexually immoral—anything outside of marriage. As living together outside of marriage falls into this category, it is sin. Anyone living together outside of lawful marriage invites the displeasure and judgment of God.


source

now I'm not 'judging' anyone living with the opposite sex without marriage

I am actually warning against doing so

I'm no 'goody 2 shoes' but I believe God's words says what it says and for reasons that some of us, apparently do not understand or do not want to understand

the end of such an arrangement is not going to be good if those people call themselves Christian

this is a poor example to the world as well

you can begin to see why some Christians begin to see homsexuality as ok

we are supposed to know what the will of God is and not join in with the world

 

[PennEd]

why did Jesus say what He did to the woman at the well if He thought living together was akin to marriage

He told her she was NOT married

honestly I am surprised you would even say that

I've seen a number of people here equating sex to marriage...the Bible warns against that saying that you become 'one' and that is why sexual sin is so dangerous

even the world calls that 'shacking up'

disagree all you want but don't forget the mop to clean up after the 'lovers' are done ... very easy to leave when you are not married and just go on to the next one

marriage is supposed to be a covenant and for life

I think you completely missed the point. I'm in no way condoning living together or sex outside of marriage.
Only that Jesus appears to have considered those having sex outside of marriage, as an actual warped, sinful marriage, BECAUSE the 2 BECAME one flesh.
I think the one poster you corrected was right on this issue. Jesus said she had 5 husbands, that weren't really husbands but in a warped way were husbands because she had sex with them.

 

[blue_ladybug]

He watched porn and so what! Nobody is perfect! The real issue is not porn but love. Does he love you? Does he takes care of you? Does he respect you? Does he do sacrifices for you? Are you happy with him? Are you eager to be in his company? Does he make you laughs?

If he loved her, he wouldn't be watching porn. If he respected her, he wouldn't be watching porn.

 

[Papou]

maybe reread what you posted

they are living together ...are you ok with that? I have no problem with that. Jesus never said do not live together.

is that the kind of advice you would hand out? As a christian, I would say do not demonize those that are weak in faith, those who are not like us.

perhaps you do not really know what it is you say you believe I believe in Jesus and I live in a world with real humans...

anyway, I prefer not to debate with a person in a thread where someone is asking for help. Good point but you are still debating with me. You can't control yourself

but your 'advice' was so bad I pointed out. My words are based on the reality of this world not an imaginary world

truly I would hope you try to understand what God says in His word about porn, sex, respect etc. Watching porn is not good for the soul but this is a human inclination... No reason to jump to the roof.

you do not have the same view of these things that God has and this is a Christian forum so giving such bad advice to someone should be pointed out I certainly do not have the same views than you. There is no bad advices but different perpectives. Jesus is in me and I feel in peace in whatever I do

people who live together, Christian or not, are building on a poor foundation and it will come crashing down eventually As a christian, I believe that living together is a better approach than to get marry and then be ruined for life because of the society laws.

you cannot hope to have God's blessing on what He tells us not to do...no matter how good your intentions are and no matter how much 'love' you think you have Whatever...

it is simply rebellion against God

God bless you my friend! I do not see the world as you do but I love you as you are...

 

[Papou]

If he loved her, he wouldn't be watching porn. If he respected her, he wouldn't be watching porn.

You are right blue_ladybug but the world is what it is. We are all born from sex.... This is the world we live in...

 

[claysmithr]

If he loved her, he wouldn't be watching porn. If he respected her, he wouldn't be watching porn.

You underestimate the addiction, he would be doing it whether she was in his life or not.

OP: Here's a post a wrote about it: http://christessays.com/porn-addict-strategies

The first step is that he needs to go cold turkey for a few months, the second step is an accountability app and partner.

For someone dealing with depression, porn addiction could be similar power of a heroin addiction, therefore requirement of cold turkey.

Maybe step 0 is the realization that this sin can send someone to hell if they don't repent.

 

[7seasrekeyed]

I think you completely missed the point. I'm in no way condoning living together or sex outside of marriage.
Only that Jesus appears to have considered those having sex outside of marriage, as an actual warped, sinful marriage, BECAUSE the 2 BECAME one flesh.
I think the one poster you corrected was right on this issue. Jesus said she had 5 husbands, that weren't really husbands but in a warped way were husbands because she had sex with them.

well I did not think you were condoning living together

actually, the 'one flesh' in the context of where it is found, is actually discussing staying away from prostitutes. see below

12“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. 13You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”b 17But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.c

18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. I Corinthians 6

I think we should honor what Jesus said regarding the woman at the well. He did not say 'you are on your 5th or 6th husband
what He did say, was this:

16 He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.”

17 “I have no husband,” she replied.

Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.” John 4

I'm not making the distinction. the distinction is there. even if Jesus was using 'husband' as in living together, why does He go on to make the distinction that the man she was currently with was NOT her husband...

as you can see from I Corinthians 6 above, it is a warning against having sex with prostitutes and an emphasis on illicit sex of any kind

I have no understanding that you would say otherwise, but I was surprised that you said what you did

I don't see where the Bible needs a 'special' revelation as what it means when it talks about sex outside of marriage

I think it says what is says and the meaning and intent is clear

 

[7seasrekeyed]

You are right blue_ladybug but the world is what it is. We are all born from sex.... This is the world we live in...

however a Christian is born of the Spirit of God and called out of the world

we are to be SEPARATE from the world and not a part of it

again, this is not godly advice you have given

and if I know Blue at all, she does not agree with what you said either

 

[7seasrekeyed]

and here is more from I Corinthians 6

1 Corinthians 6:9-
9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor [a]homosexuals, nor [b]sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were [c]sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.


and yes we can point out that Paul is talking about behavior to people who no longer lived as those verses describe...because he says 'and such were some of you'

however a Christian continuing to live in sin...is that somehow excusable? (generic question and not referring to anyone here)

a person can say well now I am righteous...but if you are born of the Spirit of God, will you continue to sin?

 

[7seasrekeyed]

God bless you my friend! I do not see the world as you do but I love you as you are...

I think you are kind of playing here calling yourself a Christian. you seem to know 0 about God or the Bible

I do not buy how you respond at all

love does not lie to others and telling people living sinfully is ok with God is a lie

please...let's not patronize people

you certainly do not have a biblical viewpoint

 

[blue_ladybug]

You are right blue_ladybug but the world is what it is. We are all born from sex.... This is the world we live in...

We are all born from GOD. Not sex. This world we live in is an unfortunate place that we must dwell in. There is sex within marriage, which is sanctioned by God. And then there is pre-marital sex. Call it what you want, shacking up, bumping nasties, doing the wild thing, playing the field, romping in the hay it's all still purely lustful sex.. And that's what porn is: lust.. and having sex with yourself is an abomination to God, so those who masturbate are sinning against their own bodies..

And 7seas is right.. I don't agree with you. But opinions are like eyeballs, everyone has one.. lol

 

[7seasrekeyed]

We are all born from GOD. Not sex. This world we live in is an unfortunate place that we must dwell in. There is sex within marriage, which is sanctioned by God. And then there is pre-marital sex. Call it what you want, shacking up, bumping nasties, doing the wild thing, playing the field, romping in the hay it's all still purely lustful sex.. And that's what porn is: lust.. and having sex with yourself is an abomination to God, so those who masturbate are sinning against their own bodies..

And 7seas is right.. I don't agree with you. But opinions are like eyeballs, everyone has one.. lol

um

everyone has 2

eyeballs that is

maybe not cyclops LOL! sorry...could not resist

 

[PennEd]

well I did not think you were condoning living together

actually, the 'one flesh' in the context of where it is found, is actually discussing staying away from prostitutes. see below

12“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. 13You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”b 17But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.c

18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. I Corinthians 6

I think we should honor what Jesus said regarding the woman at the well. He did not say 'you are on your 5th or 6th husband
what He did say, was this:

16 He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.”

17 “I have no husband,” she replied.

Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.” John 4

I'm not making the distinction. the distinction is there. even if Jesus was using 'husband' as in living together, why does He go on to make the distinction that the man she was currently with was NOT her husband...

as you can see from I Corinthians 6 above, it is a warning against having sex with prostitutes and an emphasis on illicit sex of any kind

I have no understanding that you would say otherwise, but I was surprised that you said what you did

I don't see where the Bible needs a 'special' revelation as what it means when it talks about sex outside of marriage

I think it says what is says and the meaning and intent is clear

I agree. It is what He says. And he said she had 5 husbands.

It's ok to be wrong. I'm curious to see if you have it in you. I can think of a half a dozen times or so a poster has persuaded me I was wrong on something.

This is an honest question, although I'm pretty sure you won't see it that way, can you be wrong on ANYTHING?

 

[blue_ladybug]

I agree. It is what He says. And he said she had 5 husbands.

It's ok to be wrong. I'm curious to see if you have it in you. I can think of a half a dozen times or so a poster has persuaded me I was wrong on something.

This is an honest question, although I'm pretty sure you won't see it that way, can you be wrong on ANYTHING?

Well, we know for sure she had 5 guys.. LOL

I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't literally mean she had 5 husbands. Otherwise she would be a polygamist. Pretty sure that was illegal even back then. She sounds like a woman who REALLY liked having ALOT of sex with as many guys as possible.. as often as possible.

 

[7seasrekeyed]

I agree. It is what He says. And he said she had 5 husbands.

It's ok to be wrong. I'm curious to see if you have it in you. I can think of a half a dozen times or so a poster has persuaded me I was wrong on something.

This is an honest question, although I'm pretty sure you won't see it that way, can you be wrong on ANYTHING?

I have alot in me including real good comprehension skills and some grades from university to prove it

but I digress

I will simply copy/paste what I ALREADY said regarding what you are saying here...from post 48 in my response to you

I think we should honor what Jesus said regarding the woman at the well. He did not say 'you are on your 5th or 6th husband
what He did say, was this:

16 He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.”

17 “I have no husband,” she replied.

Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.” John 4

I'm not making the distinction. the distinction is there. even if Jesus was using 'husband' as in living together, why does He go on to make the distinction that the man she was currently with was NOT her husband...

why does Jesus call 5 her husbands but number 6 not her husband?

I know she was Samaritan, but perhaps they had the same easy divorce thing going on the Jews did? you know, the one that went
'I divorce you I divorce you I divorce you' and the man considered himself divorced

I don't know...all I know is that Jesus said numero 6 was not her husband

I didn't make the distinction.

why is it there? the interpreters messed up?

as far as admitting I am wrong...what I find funny strange, is you wondering if I am able to do so

 

[7seasrekeyed]

Well, we know for sure she had 5 guys.. LOL

I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't literally mean she had 5 husbands. Otherwise she would be a polygamist. Pretty sure that was illegal even back then. She sounds like a woman who REALLY liked having ALOT of sex with as many guys as possible.. as often as possible.

actually, one of the things Jesus got worked up about (righteous anger actually) was the easy peasy divorce system put in place by the Jews...I wrote about it above...that's true...they actually did that

and we know God was angry about men leaving 'the wife of their youth' as He put it

so while adultery was frowned on, they stayed 'religious' by inventing a divorce law that God never gave them

no wonder Jesus called them white washed sepulchres!

I thought you might want to know

 

[7seasrekeyed]

PennEd said:
I agree. It is what He says. And he said she had 5 husbands.

It's ok to be wrong. I'm curious to see if you have it in you. I can think of a half a dozen times or so a poster has persuaded me I was wrong on something.

This is an honest question, although I'm pretty sure you won't see it that way, can you be wrong on ANYTHING?

really?

we don't believe quite the same but I don't go around saying you are wrong and can you apologize

bit over the top there dude

 

[7seasrekeyed]

 

[Papou]

I think you are kind of playing here calling yourself a Christian. you seem to know 0 about God or the Bible

I do not buy how you respond at all

love does not lie to others and telling people living sinfully is ok with God is a lie

please...let's not patronize people

you certainly do not have a biblical viewpoint

I don't want to brag but I probably do know much more than you do about the Holy Scriptures. Do you always accuse people of not being christian every time they don't say as you.