Help! My boyfriend keeps watching porn

[7seasrekeyed]

I don't want to brag but I probably do know much more than you do about the Holy Scriptures. Do you always accuse people of not being christian every time they don't say as you.

missed the entire thing about not agreeing with what the Bible says

because he is not familiar with it

and somehow that becomes someone elses' fault

sigh

 

[Papou]

We are all born from GOD. Not sex. This world we live in is an unfortunate place that we must dwell in. There is sex within marriage, which is sanctioned by God. And then there is pre-marital sex. Call it what you want, shacking up, bumping nasties, doing the wild thing, playing the field, romping in the hay it's all still purely lustful sex.. And that's what porn is: lust.. and having sex with yourself is an abomination to God, so those who masturbate are sinning against their own bodies..

And 7seas is right.. I don't agree with you. But opinions are like eyeballs, everyone has one.. lol

As a christian, I definitively don't agree with you about sexual reality but at least you understand that everybody has different eyeballs

 

[7seasrekeyed]

well like the alert bell says

there may be more posts after this.....

 

[Papou]

missed the entire thing about not agreeing with what the Bible says

because he is not familiar with it

and somehow that becomes someone elses' fault

sigh

7seasrekeyed if to be a christian is to be like you then I would prefer to be non-christian. Fortunately my faith does not depend on you but on Christ alone.

 

[MrH59]

no

actually, if one or both parties are married and having sex with someone outside of their respective marriages, it is called adultery

if no one is married it is called fornication

it is not called marriage

does not matter what the world calls it

if one person is married and the other is not, one is comitting adultery and the other is fornicating

it's in the Bible

sevenseasrekeyed. None of that is called for! If you want to debate stay in the bible discussion forum. You can make your point in a friendly way

 

[Tommy379]

While y'all were arguing over what constitutes a marriage before God. It should be noted that the OP does not consider this man to be her husband, since she refers to him as her boyfriend. I think that speaks volumes to the nature and intent of their relationship.
I would believe intent is key in making that covenant between a man, woman, and God. Whether a marriage is officiated by an oath, jumping over a broomstick, or coitus.

 

[7seasrekeyed]

sevenseasrekeyed. None of that is called for! If you want to debate stay in the bible discussion forum. You can make your point in a friendly way

put a hat on a teddy bear and it thinks its the boss

 

[7seasrekeyed]

7seasrekeyed if to be a christian is to be like you then I would prefer to be non-christian. Fortunately my faith does not depend on you but on Christ alone.

well since you do not seem to have any knowledge of what the Bible teaches, you may be self fulfilling

at any rate, I'm not buying the sniffling

I see you fooled one person though

 

[7seasrekeyed]

While y'all were arguing over what constitutes a marriage before God. It should be noted that the OP does not consider this man to be her husband, since she refers to him as her boyfriend. I think that speaks volumes to the nature and intent of their relationship.
I would believe intent is key in making that covenant between a man, woman, and God. Whether a marriage is officiated by an oath, jumping over a broomstick, or coitus.

I wonder what God's intent is

that should be the main concern

people seem to take sexual sin so lightly and yet the Bible indicates it is harmful and to flee from it

people need to make up their minds what they believe and stop saying the Bible says this or that when it doesn't

what speaks volumes to a marriage between a man and a woman is their commitment before God and other witnesses

even Christians these days seem to think marriage is just a piece of paper. why committ before God if that is what a person thinks?

this became about marriage because at least one person thought if you have sex you are married

people are bound to step on toes these days if they stick up for the biblical example of marriage

and where better to discuss this than in the family forum...and the op left a long time ago...someone resurrected the thread

it's funny that quoting what the Bible says concerning the topic of living together sans marriage sends some people into shock

I don't mean you there

 

[MrH59]

Absolutely not true.. Unless it's in a marriage, it's called fornication or premarital sex. Which is a sin in God's eyes..

Blue lady, my comment was the fact that the first person you are with us like consumating marriage. I agree with you about fornication and premarital sex.

put a hat on a teddy bear and it thinks its the boss

what is your problem, are you a bully. You just don't seem very Christian.

 

[7seasrekeyed]

Blue lady, my comment was the fact that the first person you are with us like consumating marriage. I agree with you about fornication and premarital sex.

what is your problem, are you a bully. You just don't seem very Christian.

perhaps your definition of Christian is someone who bends over backwards to make everyone think they are wonderful

perhaps you are someone who cannot take any correction

perhaps you cry easily

I don't know

but I do know that if someone has no biblical advice to give when someone is asking life changing questions and someone comes along and gives advice that is completely anti biblical it is proper and right to demonstrate from the Bible what is actually right
as a Christian

you have not been here very long and that would be the least likely reason for you to try and correct everyone that hurts your little feelings

condoning sin and making light of something the Bible condemns and in fact in Revelation states that those who practice such things will not be with the Lord in eternity, is the opposite of what a person who asks questions in the family forum should expect to hear from anyone

I don't think your responses are particularly Christian as you have taken the wrong stance here

the op left some time back. you should search the family threads if you think I am not up to your standards

I can assure you this thread is gentle enough to put a baby to sleep compared to some of the nasty responses that have gone down in times past

I do not engage the op in what I said...only the dude who has nothing to say that is acceptable from a Christian or biblical viewpoint

as for Penn, he and I do not believe the same but there are many here that I do agree with

so I don't find his post very genuine regarding whether or not I am ever wrong...like I said, you just got here...I have said 'sorry' or apologized a good number of times. this is my 2nd account so actually I have been here quite awhile. I left and came back which is not a problem. many have done that

as you find me so offensive, do us both a favor and just put me on ignore

I find your personal put downs immature and very prejudiced so enjoy your time here but probably best to not include me in it

over and out

 

[blue_ladybug]

Blue lady, my comment was the fact that the first person you are with us like consumating marriage. I agree with you about fornication and premarital sex.

what is your problem, are you a bully. You just don't seem very Christian.

But what if the first person you're ever with, is by a rape? I'm sure some women out there, including myself BTW, were virgins before they were unfortunate enough to get terrorized by a rapist. THAT would NOT be considered "consummating a marriage", even by Jesus.

As for your comment about Seven, she is very much a Christian. Not everyone here has the same opinions on any subject but that's okay. It's why many of us avoid the BDF like it's the black death. :/ Unfortunately the vitriol and hate spewed in there has spilled over to the other forums.

 

[MrH59]

But what if the first person you're ever with, is by a rape? I'm sure some women out there, including myself BTW, were virgins before they were unfortunate enough to get terrorized by a rapist. THAT would NOT be considered "consummating a marriage", even by Jesus.

As for your comment about Seven, she is very much a Christian. Not everyone here has the same opinions on any subject but that's okay. It's why many of us avoid the BDF like it's the black death. :/ Unfortunately the vitriol and hate spewed in there has spilled over to the other forums.

My apologys

 

[7seasrekeyed]

But what if the first person you're ever with, is by a rape? I'm sure some women out there, including myself BTW, were virgins before they were unfortunate enough to get terrorized by a rapist. THAT would NOT be considered "consummating a marriage", even by Jesus.

As for your comment about Seven, she is very much a Christian. Not everyone here has the same opinions on any subject but that's okay. It's why many of us avoid the BDF like it's the black death. :/ Unfortunately the vitriol and hate spewed in there has spilled over to the other forums.

that's a good question right there

unfortunately people do not generally give consideration to the bigger picture or how sin has so harmed this world


I'm fine with people thinking I'm mean or whatever so no worries but thank you for what you said

marriage is a covenant between 2 people...a man and a woman...period. premarital sex is not marriage (as you know)

Paul says that marriage is a picture of Christ and the church (people not a building)

so yeah....people will take offence when they do not know what scripture actually says regarding marriage or sexual sin and they get all offended...

I'm sorry the thread kind of blew up like it did...but when you counter lies about what the Bible says that can happen

anyway...that's about it I guess

hugs

 

[mikesmilestoday]

I have been told that a porn addiction is on the same level as a heroin addiction. If you do not wish to deal with it long term, including possible relapses, hidden activities, and who knows what else over the next 20 years you may wish to call it off now. If he can get clean and stay clean for a year or so, then who knows, maybe you give him another shot. Porn is a very hidden sin. Hard to discover, hard to prove. I spoke with a youth pastor not long ago and he said that 21 out of 21 boys at a recent retreat admitted to struggling with porn. The shocking thing to me was that 16 out of 18 girls at a recent retreat also admitted to struggling with porn.

 

[mikesmilestoday]

I have been told that a porn addiction is on the same level as a heroin addiction. If you do not wish to deal with it long term, including possible relapses, hidden activities, and who knows what else over the next 20 years you may wish to call it off now. If he can get clean and stay clean for a year or so, then who knows, maybe you give him another shot. Porn is a very hidden sin. Hard to discover, hard to prove. I spoke with a youth pastor not long ago and he said that 21 out of 21 boys at a recent retreat admitted to struggling with porn. The shocking thing to me was that 16 out of 18 girls at a recent retreat also admitted to struggling with porn.

If you decide you want to try and stay with him, and you want him to be clean, he absolutely needs to be in weekly Christian counseling by a professional counselor (not an elder, not a deacon, not a pastor). If you need success, you need a professional who has been trained in this area in addition to the word of God and prayer. A porn addiction is no minor thing, if it were, a majority of our pastors would be addicted to porn.
No counseling, no deal (in my humble opinion).

 

[Truthwinsout]

Hello,
I having some trouble with my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been dating for five years now, we live together, and recently things haven't been great, or at least as good as they once were. I thought it was just the end of the honeymoon phase and all that, but now I'm not so sure. I found out a few months ago that my boyfriend was watching porn/viewing nudes on the internet.

Now, I was flabbergasted. I didn't know what to say. I only come preprogrammed with sitcom knowledge and unfortunately Full house never dealt with this.

My boyfriend however was inconsolable. He started crying. I thought he was going to have a stroke the way he was going on. He said what he was doing was cheating. I, still too much in shock to be mad or really any emotion, said I wasn't sure it was the same thing. he assured me it was. I asked him how if in his mind this was cheating, how could he do that.

His answer was insufficient. He was weak, yada yada.

After a long discussion, He told me he would make a promise to me and to God, that he would never do this again. And I encouraged him to read his Bible, and view other christian websites of people who might have gone through something like this before.

Time passed, and I asked him how he was doing with temptation etc, he said He had made his promise to me, to God, and he had not failed in his endeavor. That I could even look at his phone history if I wanted.

In the back of my mind I thought, well surely if you're offering you're at the least smart enough to have deleted any evidence.

Long story short, he in fact wasn't smart enough to delete his internet history.

He looked me in the eye and lied to me. He broke his covenant with God. And now I'm wondering, What am I supposed to do about it? I don't know who else to turn to, as I find this whole thing rather embarassing. So now, armed with the anomynity of the internet, I ask you, What do I do now?

Am I over dramatizing the whole thing?
Should this be where we part ways?

I'm out of my wheelhouse here people, please and thank yous in advance!

Bmerry

Basically you are living with an addict, nothing more, nothing less.

 

[Silverwings]

I'm not married to my dog or my roommate. Should I be?

My roommate is a dude.

You've put me into one heck of an ethical quandary.

Tommy was not talking to you, he was talking to the op!!

 

[Tommy379]

Tommy was not talking to you, he was talking to the op!!

It's cool, he was making a joke.

 

[Silverwings]

It's cool, he was making a joke.

Sorry, I will butt out now!!