Help! My boyfriend keeps watching porn

[Starsdance]

If you've been living with your boyfriend,
then you've BOTH been engaging in immoral sexual behaviors.

Now you're upset because he's added a new "unapproved" immoral sexual behavior to your current list of "approved' immoral sexual behaviors?

Maybe his porn-watching isn't the problem.

Maybe you need to reboot your lifestyle choices.



Sin always causes problems, and before you get upset about his sin, you need to consider your own.
Are you doing the right things?
Can you really ask God to intervene and help when you refuse to do the right things?
You need to reboot your lifestyle.



God loves you very much.
But when we sin, it has consequences.
God loves you no matter what you do,
but he still wants you to stop doing the wrong things.

Sin has consequences.
If you keep doing wrong things, you'll keep getting bad results.
No matter how much God loves you, sin will always have bad consequences.

Totally agree. So don't live with a man who is not your husband.

 

[dc44James]

Hello,
I having some trouble with my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been dating for five years now, we live together, and recently things haven't been great, or at least as good as they once were. I thought it was just the end of the honeymoon phase and all that, but now I'm not so sure. I found out a few months ago that my boyfriend was watching porn/viewing nudes on the internet.

Now, I was flabbergasted. I didn't know what to say. I only come preprogrammed with sitcom knowledge and unfortunately Full house never dealt with this.

My boyfriend however was inconsolable. He started crying. I thought he was going to have a stroke the way he was going on. He said what he was doing was cheating. I, still too much in shock to be mad or really any emotion, said I wasn't sure it was the same thing. he assured me it was. I asked him how if in his mind this was cheating, how could he do that.

His answer was insufficient. He was weak, yada yada.

After a long discussion, He told me he would make a promise to me and to God, that he would never do this again. And I encouraged him to read his Bible, and view other christian websites of people who might have gone through something like this before.

Time passed, and I asked him how he was doing with temptation etc, he said He had made his promise to me, to God, and he had not failed in his endeavor. That I could even look at his phone history if I wanted.

In the back of my mind I thought, well surely if you're offering you're at the least smart enough to have deleted any evidence.

Long story short, he in fact wasn't smart enough to delete his internet history.

He looked me in the eye and lied to me. He broke his covenant with God. And now I'm wondering, What am I supposed to do about it? I don't know who else to turn to, as I find this whole thing rather embarassing. So now, armed with the anomynity of the internet, I ask you, What do I do now?

Am I over dramatizing the whole thing?
Should this be where we part ways?

I'm out of my wheelhouse here people, please and thank yous in advance!

Bmerry

Part ways. It is hard. He broke his covenant with God, and you. Leave. Be good to yourself and know you found out before you made a bigger mistake. Lean on friends or this site.

 

[dc44James]

I learned something similar. We are not to live together without being married.

 

[Demi777]

I said its porn or me...if I was you I would do theit same

 

[rachitdholak]

Praying and Yoga can be the right choice for him.
See if you can talk him into joining a yoga session. It will help him to calm his brain down and prayer will raise the level of faith in him.

 

[blue_ladybug]

Yoga is a new age practice. NOT what the OP needs..

 

[Demi777]

Praying and Yoga can be the right choice for him.
See if you can talk him into joining a yoga session. It will help him to calm his brain down and prayer will raise the level of faith in him.

Yoga is a bad idea. Work out yes but yoga is very underestimated how it spiritually effects the practitioner. Its like reiki and stuffI.. hands off of that

 

[Chester]

You have gotten some good advice here.

Leave this guy immediately and never ever go back to him again. Don't text or talk or anything ever again!

But more important, you have got some foundational issues to settle yourself: you should not have been living with this guy to start with without being married - that is fornication!

Get right with God! Find someone to help you! Find a church and a support system and get radical for the kingdom of God!

 

[rachitdholak]

Yoga is a bad idea. Work out yes but yoga is very underestimated how it spiritually effects the practitioner. Its like reiki and stuffI.. hands off of that

Personally speaking, I also was in the same situation about a year ago. But the day I started yoga and started praying regularly , I came closer to GOD and since then I ve been on my path towards sanity and never looked back.

This is my personal experience.

 

[Demi777]

Personally speaking, I also was in the same situation about a year ago. But the day I started yoga and started praying regularly , I came closer to GOD and since then I ve been on my path towards sanity and never looked back.

This is my personal experience.

I am not talking about experiences. I am giving you facts. Yoga is a way of pagan worship.
U may feel closer to God but that doesnt mean you arewant in every way. Practices like yoga and reiki let these spirits change your perception.
Why do u think pagan priests feel free when going into deeper practices? Its spiritual manipulation

 

[MrH59]

I know you have heard a lot of advice on this, mostly confusing. My heartfelt sympathy goes out to you and your boyfriend. You may not even read this but if you do and others that might let me tell you.
Porn is addictive, no one knows even someone who is. I know because I was. I prayed for years for GOD to help me stop because I couldn't stop on my own. its hard to stop something that in the back of your mind you really don't want to. every time you open a magazine or turn on the tv you get reminded.
I have no advice to give, only prayers. Your boyfriend is in something he cant get out of without the help GOD. Psalms 51: 10-12 If you love him you can work through it. My wife and I did. GOD will use something to get his attention and it may be you.

 

[MessageOfTheCross]

Hello,
I having some trouble with my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been dating for five years now, we live together, and recently things haven't been great, or at least as good as they once were. I thought it was just the end of the honeymoon phase and all that, but now I'm not so sure. I found out a few months ago that my boyfriend was watching porn/viewing nudes on the internet.

Now, I was flabbergasted. I didn't know what to say. I only come preprogrammed with sitcom knowledge and unfortunately Full house never dealt with this.

My boyfriend however was inconsolable. He started crying. I thought he was going to have a stroke the way he was going on. He said what he was doing was cheating. I, still too much in shock to be mad or really any emotion, said I wasn't sure it was the same thing. he assured me it was. I asked him how if in his mind this was cheating, how could he do that.

His answer was insufficient. He was weak, yada yada.

After a long discussion, He told me he would make a promise to me and to God, that he would never do this again. And I encouraged him to read his Bible, and view other christian websites of people who might have gone through something like this before.

Time passed, and I asked him how he was doing with temptation etc, he said He had made his promise to me, to God, and he had not failed in his endeavor. That I could even look at his phone history if I wanted.

In the back of my mind I thought, well surely if you're offering you're at the least smart enough to have deleted any evidence.

Long story short, he in fact wasn't smart enough to delete his internet history.

He looked me in the eye and lied to me. He broke his covenant with God. And now I'm wondering, What am I supposed to do about it? I don't know who else to turn to, as I find this whole thing rather embarassing. So now, armed with the anomynity of the internet, I ask you, What do I do now?

Am I over dramatizing the whole thing?
Should this be where we part ways?

I'm out of my wheelhouse here people, please and thank yous in advance!

Bmerry

The truth is you are out of order in God's eyes by practicing sin (eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil). The bible says you are fornicating by having a sexual relationship with a man that is not your husband. The sin nature is controlling both of you and both of you have been taken captive by Satan through bondage and sin. This is called the law of sin and death.

Removing bondage and silencing the sin nature can only be done if the Believer place and maintain their Faith exclusively in Christ and the Cross of Calvary where the victory was won daily. When the Holy Spirit sees that you are exhibiting Faith in Christ and the Cross of Calvary where the victory was won, He will begin to help you and do what needs to be done in your life (line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little there a little).

Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you (instead of softening or modifying this seemingly harsh Doctrine, He instead intensified it by declaring it indispensable to Salvation), Except you eat the Flesh of the Son of Man, and drink His Blood, you have no life in you (this terminology addresses the Cross; Christ would give Himself on the Cross for the Salvation of mankind; to fully believe in Him and what He did for us is what He means here; however, this Verse tells us the degree of believing that is required; it refers to the Cross being the total Object of one's belief; failing that, there is no Life in you) John 6:53

 

[MrH59]

It's pretty simple to me. He is addicted to porn. A promise, even to God, is not going to stop that. He needs a male accountabilty partner, someone who is a strong Christian that will work with him. And it will be a journey, most likely, not a deliverance.

The other part of the equation is also simple. He is an addict who lied to you. And not just lied, but lied in a stupid way, showing that he lied. Either he wanted you to see, and he is faking his remorse, or he is just stupid. How hard is it to erase your web history? Even I can do that!

So, do you want to live with a liar and addict? If he is willing to get help, maybe you are willing to walk with him. That is something only you can decide. Although, I would be more worried about the lying, which is how he views you. That he can bald facedly lie, and somehow you will not care. If he is not willing to get outside help, you should call this relationship finished - over and done with.

Just be glad you are not married, and can walk away from this, if you need to.

Jus to add a small note, if you have had sexual relations with a person in the eyes of GOD you are married,???

 

[Papou]

Hello,
I having some trouble with my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been dating for five years now, we live together, and recently things haven't been great, or at least as good as they once were. I thought it was just the end of the honeymoon phase and all that, but now I'm not so sure. I found out a few months ago that my boyfriend was watching porn/viewing nudes on the internet.


Am I over dramatizing the whole thing?
Should this be where we part ways?

I'm out of my wheelhouse here people, please and thank yous in advance!

Bmerry

He watched porn and so what! Nobody is perfect! The real issue is not porn but love. Does he love you? Does he takes care of you? Does he respect you? Does he do sacrifices for you? Are you happy with him? Are you eager to be in his company? Does he make you laughs?

 

[blue_ladybug]

Jus to add a small note, if you have had sexual relations with a person in the eyes of GOD you are married,???

Absolutely not true.. Unless it's in a marriage, it's called fornication or premarital sex. Which is a sin in God's eyes..

 

[7seasrekeyed]

Jus to add a small note, if you have had sexual relations with a person in the eyes of GOD you are married,???

no

actually, if one or both parties are married and having sex with someone outside of their respective marriages, it is called adultery

if no one is married it is called fornication

it is not called marriage

does not matter what the world calls it

if one person is married and the other is not, one is comitting adultery and the other is fornicating

it's in the Bible

 

[7seasrekeyed]

He watched porn and so what! Nobody is perfect! The real issue is not porn but love. Does he love you? Does he takes care of you? Does he respect you? Does he do sacrifices for you? Are you happy with him? Are you eager to be in his company? Does he make you laughs?

hmmm

you say you are a Christian Papou, but that is not what a Christian, not just a person who says they are, believes or acts out

watching porn is sinful

having sex with no obligations...not married...is sinful

when you love someone, you respect them. watching porn is neither loving nor respectful

the one think you have right in your post is saying no one is perfect

apparently you should not be giving 'Christian' advice

 

[Papou]

hmmm

you say you are a Christian Papou, but that is not what a Christian, not just a person who says they are, believes or acts out

watching porn is sinful

having sex with no obligations...not married...is sinful

when you love someone, you respect them. watching porn is neither loving nor respectful

the one think you have right in your post is saying no one is perfect

apparently you should not be giving 'Christian' advice

I never said that watching porn is lawful. You are putting words in my mouths and accusing me of not being a christian. A true christian would never do that. As I said, watching porn is not the issue here. The true issue is love. Does her boyfriend love her or not? Watching porn has nothing to do with love.

 

[7seasrekeyed]

I never said that watching porn is lawful. You are putting words in my mouths and accusing me of not being a christian. A true christian would never do that. As I said, watching porn is not the issue here. The true issue is love. Does her boyfriend love her or not? Watching porn has nothing to do with love.

maybe reread what you posted

they are living together ...are you ok with that?

is that the kind of advice you would hand out?

perhaps you do not really know what it is you say you believe

anyway, I prefer not to debate with a person in a thread where someone is asking for help

but your 'advice' was so bad I pointed out

truly I would hope you try to understand what God says in His word about porn, sex, respect etc

you do not have the same view of these things that God has and this is a Christian forum so giving such bad advice to someone should be pointed out

people who live together, Christian or not, are building on a poor foundation and it will come crashing down eventually

you cannot hope to have God's blessing on what He tells us not to do...no matter how good your intentions are and no matter how much 'love' you think you have

it is simply rebellion against God

 

[PennEd]

no

actually, if one or both parties are married and having sex with someone outside of their respective marriages, it is called adultery

if no one is married it is called fornication

it is not called marriage

does not matter what the world calls it

if one person is married and the other is not, one is comitting adultery and the other is fornicating

it's in the Bible

I'm not so sure you're right. I think Jesus does relate sex to marriage, even with the unmarried.
Read John 4:16-18