****Justified DIVORCE****
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Your interpretation sounds like it was probably the same as or very similar to that of the Pharisees Jesus corrected in Matthew 19.
7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Notice the Pharisees call putting away with a writing of divorcement 'putting her away.' 'Put away' does NOT mean 'put away without a certificate of divorce.' The discussion they were having was about a man putting away his wife with the a divorce certificate.
7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Notice the Pharisees call putting away with a writing of divorcement 'putting her away.' 'Put away' does NOT mean 'put away without a certificate of divorce.' The discussion they were having was about a man putting away his wife with the a divorce certificate.
The points about law are for those legalists who strain a gnats and swallow camels. Jesus was dealing with those who observe the law. He did not break or nullify it. He challenged the heart of the matter.
I used is a well known scripture Paul uses, that people Often quote to Justify enslaving a woman or a man to an abusive Marriage, or to expect them to believe They are the exception and for them it is better to burn than to marry just because someone else sinned and left them single.
In fact Paul used it for the opposite. He used It to prove we are no longer bound to anything under law, but rather we are motivated by love.
This is why I stress “according to law“. Nothing I said indicated just divorce someone for any cause or if you feel like it and that’s a ok.
Those who force such scriptures as bound by law on people, need to know the law. You can’t have it both ways.
You are bound by law if you are married To it (Covenanted To God by Observance to the law.)
You are free from the law period, if you are Married to Christ. It is not a listener to sin, but to go beyond the letter of the law and observe the heart of it.
I used is a well known scripture Paul uses, that people Often quote to Justify enslaving a woman or a man to an abusive Marriage, or to expect them to believe They are the exception and for them it is better to burn than to marry just because someone else sinned and left them single.
In fact Paul used it for the opposite. He used It to prove we are no longer bound to anything under law, but rather we are motivated by love.
This is why I stress “according to law“. Nothing I said indicated just divorce someone for any cause or if you feel like it and that’s a ok.
Those who force such scriptures as bound by law on people, need to know the law. You can’t have it both ways.
You are bound by law if you are married To it (Covenanted To God by Observance to the law.)
You are free from the law period, if you are Married to Christ. It is not a listener to sin, but to go beyond the letter of the law and observe the heart of it.
Remarrying (and adultery) is the real key issue here. Divorce opens the way for it, socially at least.
In California law, I heard they speak of the letter of the law verses the spirit of the law. When Paul wrote about law versus Spirit in II Corinthians, he was not writing about the 'Spirit of the Law', he was writing about the Spirit of God. The letter killeth, but the Spirit giveth life. If one walks in the Spirit, then he abstains from sin and pleases God. He does not go around committing sins, and say he is living in love rather than the letter.
If you notice in one of the passages we are discussing, Paul gave a commandment concerning not divorcing or departing, and he says that it was not he that commanded it, 'but the Lord.'
And in the same book in I Corinthians 9:21, Paul writes,
"To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law."
(Bold emphasis mine.)
In California law, I heard they speak of the letter of the law verses the spirit of the law. When Paul wrote about law versus Spirit in II Corinthians, he was not writing about the 'Spirit of the Law', he was writing about the Spirit of God. The letter killeth, but the Spirit giveth life. If one walks in the Spirit, then he abstains from sin and pleases God. He does not go around committing sins, and say he is living in love rather than the letter.
If you notice in one of the passages we are discussing, Paul gave a commandment concerning not divorcing or departing, and he says that it was not he that commanded it, 'but the Lord.'
And in the same book in I Corinthians 9:21, Paul writes,
"To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law."
(Bold emphasis mine.)
Your supplied information is liberally incorrect.
It stated Adultery, Abuse, Abandonment, are biblical grounds for divorce?
There is only one biblical ground for divorce (Fornication) that being having sexual relations outside of the marriage
Adultery is biblically defined as being married while the lawful spouse lives
Abuse would be grounds for separation, not divorce.
At no time is the christian allowed to remarry while their spouse lives.
(Pretty Simple)
Matthew 19:9KJV
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Mark 10:11-12KJV
11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
Romans 7:1-3KJV
1 Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth?
2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
It stated Adultery, Abuse, Abandonment, are biblical grounds for divorce?
There is only one biblical ground for divorce (Fornication) that being having sexual relations outside of the marriage
Adultery is biblically defined as being married while the lawful spouse lives
Abuse would be grounds for separation, not divorce.
At no time is the christian allowed to remarry while their spouse lives.
(Pretty Simple)
Matthew 19:9KJV
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Mark 10:11-12KJV
11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
Romans 7:1-3KJV
1 Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth?
2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
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You sound very repentant of your sins, the only thing for you to do is place your trust in Jesus, and his sacrifice and resurrection for the forgiveness of sin, for this is salvation; faith in grace. You ain't damned, you haven't committed some sin beyond grace or any other such thing.
What's done is done, and can't be undone. You need to realize the mercy of the Lord.
What's done is done, and can't be undone. You need to realize the mercy of the Lord.
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Your ex husband comes off as being controlling. No one, especially a woman, should stay in a marriage where the spouse is physically and verbally abusive. No, your ex husband is not in the right about being free to remarry especially since his abusive behavior was the cause of the divorce. I fully agree with the course of action that you took and thank God that you are out of that horrible marriage. Hopefully, you will find comfort, support, and understanding from the members of this site. Glad to have you as part of our family. Welcome to CC.
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Yes, He was the one that encourged me to be baptized before we married. He came from a stronger christian back ground than me. He grew up in the Church , I didnt- Dont even think our family owned a bible. He knew what the word said more than me, we attened church at times, but never practiced or study the word outside of the Church doors. I am embarrsed to say that, but it is true. We were married to our jobs and I was raising kids. While he traveled all week for his job,
Thank You so much for the encouragement. I struggle still from it all. The worst is him convincing me I had to file and I did. That is the type of gas-lighting he always played with me and running my name in the ground with lies after I left to people. Because I left. Shamed for leaving my marriage. I figured after 22 years I would die at the hands of my abuser or die trying. He tells people I am lying about it all. Where are the police reports he did such a thing,. I was always afraid to call the cops, for the fear of where was I going. I had no family, no friends, he always watched my every move as to as far as his own mother writing down my car mileage when I was asleep. She lived close by, after she passed away . I found the notepad.
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I won't address this particular question at this time, but I will tell you some things that I am sure of.
1. God ordained marriage to be a natural reflection of the spiritual union between Christ and the church.
Ephesians chapter 5
[22] Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
[23] For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
[24] Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
[25] Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
[26] That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
[27] That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
[28] So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
[29] For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
[30] For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
[31] For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
[32] This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
[33] Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
In a marriage, a husband is to love his wife as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. Christ didn't love the church by abusing it, beating it, cutting off its finances, or any of the other horrible things your husband did, so your husband failed miserably and shamelessly in this regard. Far from giving himself for you, he sounds like a self-centered, manipulative, and exceedingly evil man.
Furthermore, a husband is to sanctify (set apart as holy) and cleanse his wife with the washing of water by the word. Based upon your description of your husband, he's not the least bit sanctified or clean himself, so he's not even equipped to sanctify or cleanse another, having never applied God's word to his own life FIRST.
Further still, in marriage, the two become one flesh, and no husband has ever hated his own flesh, but he nourishes and cherishes it instead. Tell me where beating you falls anywhere remotely close to this. Just another major failure on your husband's part.
Seeing how a husband and wife relationship is supposed to represent Christ and the church to the world, by abusing and beating you, your husband literally taught whoever was watching that Christ similarly abuses and beats the church. This is how serious and far-reaching the scope of your husband's sins against you AND GOD were.
2. God is not the least bit pleased with husbands who deal treacherously with their wives, and this treachery definitely includes using violence against them.
Malachi chapter 2
[13] And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand.
[14] Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
[15] And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
[16] For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
Based upon your testimony here, your husband definitely "covered violence with his garment" or hid it under of cloak of religion. Your husband should have been hanging his head in shame and genuine repentance before the Lord instead of psychologically manipulating you into doing things which you normally would have never done if your physical safety and mental sanity weren't in such danger.
3. God makes the two one in marriage because he seeks a godly seed (Malachi 2:15).
I'm almost afraid to address this, but you mentioned "raising kids".
Did you have children together with this unbridled monster?
If so, then did they observe the types of abuses you've described here?
If so, then who are they presently living with?
You, him, or are they now old enough that they're living on their own?
Again, God said that he made the two one in marriage because he "seeks a godly seed" or godly children.
If your husband behaved in the manner which you've described here in front of the children, then he not only miserably failed in God's sight again, but probably psychologically damaged your children as well.
1. God ordained marriage to be a natural reflection of the spiritual union between Christ and the church.
Ephesians chapter 5
[22] Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
[23] For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
[24] Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
[25] Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
[26] That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
[27] That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
[28] So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
[29] For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
[30] For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
[31] For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
[32] This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
[33] Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
In a marriage, a husband is to love his wife as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. Christ didn't love the church by abusing it, beating it, cutting off its finances, or any of the other horrible things your husband did, so your husband failed miserably and shamelessly in this regard. Far from giving himself for you, he sounds like a self-centered, manipulative, and exceedingly evil man.
Furthermore, a husband is to sanctify (set apart as holy) and cleanse his wife with the washing of water by the word. Based upon your description of your husband, he's not the least bit sanctified or clean himself, so he's not even equipped to sanctify or cleanse another, having never applied God's word to his own life FIRST.
Further still, in marriage, the two become one flesh, and no husband has ever hated his own flesh, but he nourishes and cherishes it instead. Tell me where beating you falls anywhere remotely close to this. Just another major failure on your husband's part.
Seeing how a husband and wife relationship is supposed to represent Christ and the church to the world, by abusing and beating you, your husband literally taught whoever was watching that Christ similarly abuses and beats the church. This is how serious and far-reaching the scope of your husband's sins against you AND GOD were.
2. God is not the least bit pleased with husbands who deal treacherously with their wives, and this treachery definitely includes using violence against them.
Malachi chapter 2
[13] And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand.
[14] Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
[15] And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
[16] For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
Based upon your testimony here, your husband definitely "covered violence with his garment" or hid it under of cloak of religion. Your husband should have been hanging his head in shame and genuine repentance before the Lord instead of psychologically manipulating you into doing things which you normally would have never done if your physical safety and mental sanity weren't in such danger.
3. God makes the two one in marriage because he seeks a godly seed (Malachi 2:15).
I'm almost afraid to address this, but you mentioned "raising kids".
Did you have children together with this unbridled monster?
If so, then did they observe the types of abuses you've described here?
If so, then who are they presently living with?
You, him, or are they now old enough that they're living on their own?
Again, God said that he made the two one in marriage because he "seeks a godly seed" or godly children.
If your husband behaved in the manner which you've described here in front of the children, then he not only miserably failed in God's sight again, but probably psychologically damaged your children as well.
S
I am not sure why you are wanting to figure out what his biblical rights were. He has remarried. You are divorced. Forget about his conscience and deal only with your own.
Your marriage with him is over. It is not going to be reconciled as he has already remarried and two divorces are not God's plan either.
Divorce is not the unforgiveable sin. You recognize that you did not handle everything correctly. You both should have gotten counseling and worked out all the issues that needed serious long term corrections. But you did not and now here you are.
Give your heart in total surrender to Christ. Believe that He can take you where you are today and make you what He wants to be and He will lead you one day at a time. The blood of Jesus Christ can wash you from the sin of divorce and justify you before God as holy and righteous and without fault in His sight. Do not let satan continuously condemn you.
Your marriage with him is over. It is not going to be reconciled as he has already remarried and two divorces are not God's plan either.
Divorce is not the unforgiveable sin. You recognize that you did not handle everything correctly. You both should have gotten counseling and worked out all the issues that needed serious long term corrections. But you did not and now here you are.
Give your heart in total surrender to Christ. Believe that He can take you where you are today and make you what He wants to be and He will lead you one day at a time. The blood of Jesus Christ can wash you from the sin of divorce and justify you before God as holy and righteous and without fault in His sight. Do not let satan continuously condemn you.
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