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If anyone should have been on intimate terms with God and with His son
Jesus Christ in the last century, surely it had to be Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu
(a.k.a. Mother Teresa) but curiously, that wasn't the case. It turns out
Teresa was a remarkable actor. Her public image bore no resemblance
whatsoever to the secret life of her inner being. Below are some complaints
she expressed in private letters to spiritual counselors recorded in:
Mother Teresa / Come Be My Light
The Private Writings of the "Saint of Calcutta"
Edited with commentary by Father Brian Kolodiejchuk, M.C.
ISBN 978-0-385-52037-9
"I am told God loves me; and yet the reality of darkness & coldness &
emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul."
"The place of God in my soul is blank-- There is no God in me"
"I feel He does not want me, He is not there, God does not want me"
"When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven, there is such convicting
emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my
very soul. How painful is this unknown pain-- I have no faith."
Teresa also complained of feeling abandoned by Christ-- referring to him as
"the absent one"
Teresa was never really convinced there's a God out there.
"The damned of Hell suffer eternal punishment because they experiment
with the loss of God. In my own soul, I feel the terrible pain of this loss. I
feel that God does not want me, that God is not God; and that He does not
really exist."
At one point Teresa actually prayed thus:
"If there be God; please forgive me."
A prayer that begins with "If there be God" is the prayer of an agnostic;
which Webster's defines as one who is not committed to believing in either
the existence or the nonexistence of God or a god. According to Jas 1:5-8,
agnostic prayers are pings.
To her credit, Teresa wanted a God to be out there, but her utter failure to
feel even the slightest glimmer of the Lord's presence prevented her from
being sure about it.
_
Without the Spirit you will feel like God is not with you for there is no change in yourself of the peace, love, and joy of God.
Also the Bible says the Spirit bears witness with our spirit that we are the children of God.
She probably based her belief of God, and being right with Him by her works she did, and did not really have a relationship with God, although we should have works which delights God, but we have to also have a relationship with God which maybe she did not understand that part to do it correctly.
Luk 10:38 Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.
Luk 10:39 And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word.
Luk 10:40 But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
Luk 10:41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
Luk 10:42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.
The Catholic Church is involved with doing many works, even making up traditions saying they are beneficial, and they do many practices that are not of God, and even exalt Mary giving her a status that God did not give her, which God said He does not give His glory to another.
So many Catholics will not have the Spirit, if any of them do for the things they believe, and do.
Maybe she doubted all her life that caused her to feel empty, so it stemmed from her feeling the way she felt not really totally believing, but had the attitude maybe it is true so I will live this way, and find out.
Like some people that say if it is true we will find out, which that is not faith for faith is the evidence of things not seen.
There is no doubt with faith, and no faith then the Spirit will not lead you.
But still coming from the Catholic Church, and all they teach and do, how can they be led of the Spirit, and if not then they will not feel the Spirit, and the peace, love, and joy of the Spirit.
But there are so many Catholics, and that is because they do not settle on how they feel, but have a mental assertion of it, instead of the comfort of the Spirit, and the Spirit bearing witness that they are the children of God.
Mother Theresa was one that did not settle for only a mental assertion that God loved her, but thought there had to be more in the way she felt, feeling God's presence, which by way of the Catholic Church could not come.
If she would of abandoned them, and started from scratch to learn, and give up the pagan way of them, and their exalting Mary, and their works practices that had nothing to do with living for God, she might of finally felt the presence of God.
If you are involved in the practices of the Catholic Church, and their statues of Mary, and exalting her, and the works they do, and making traditions equal to the word of God, and saying Mary is the Queen of heaven, and the mother of God, and the paganism of it, then how can a person of that Church be led of the Spirit.
They cannot.
Love works no ill towards their neighbor, therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.
It is that simple.
Mother Theresa should of come to the conclusion that there is something wrong with the Catholic Church, and not true Christianity, and got away from them, and their ways, and believe there is a God for sure, and she can feel His presence if she is only involved in what she is supposed to be involved in, and glorify God right.
I do not know for sure, and if this story is true, and not something made up.
But there is many people that confess Christ, and believe in the God of Israel, that do not feel the Spirit because of the beliefs they hold unto.
My brother said he did feel the Spirit when he lived for God, and went to Church, and wanted to live right, and was serious, and then he went back to enjoying sin, and got too involved, and then said he could not feel the Spirit, and that he was mad at God, and could not understand the things that he had to go through if there is a God.
If you are not compatible with the operation of God, and His ways, you will not feel the presence of the Spirit, which the Catholic Church is not compatible.
And it is obvious when the Roman Catholic Church first started operating they did not get rid of their pagan ways, but held unto them, and it became their foundation for the interpretation of scriptures.
For the most part the Roman Catholic Church is doing it their way, and instituting the ways of people in it, and that come from the practices of what the world does in their religions.