Why men HAVE to do the ''first move''

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Not 100% certain what you mean by "the first move", physically or emotionally? Finding out if a girl likes you isn't really that hard, just look at how they react to your flirting and your "jokes". There is a bit of truth in every joke, which makes it a common way for people to express things they aren't sure they should express. For example, if you make a joke that subtly says, "Let's run away together" and she jokingly says back, "Let's!" there is a good chance she is interested, as opposed to if she says, "But what about my job?" or just "No!" which would imply she might not be so interested.

hmmm That's insightful actually, but what if she says, ''but what will i pack, or Do i need a round of tetnis shot's? Can i bring my mother?"

 

[buckets]

I approach everyone I meet to be their friend if a guy wants more than that he will have to let me know someday if I want more than that, I would ask him why he doesn't court me

I courting/dating to lead to marriage if any of my guy friends ask me out I say nope we are friends ask me again when I am older if you still interested

 

[Misty77]

It is shared, but it is primarily the father's role. Scripture repeatedly charges fathers specifically to teach their children the law of God, to teach them in the way they are to go, etc.

It would be advisable not to reject God's word.

And we have examples of women teaching their children (Lois and Eunice) and admonishments in proverbs to listen to your your mother as well as your father. The instruction in the Torah to teach your children is for both parents. Or do you think that the only scriptures that apply to women are the ones that specifically address us? If so, then we are in doomed in terms of salvation.

 

[Animus]

hmmm That's insightful actually, but what if she says, ''but what will i pack, or Do i need a round of tetnis shot's? Can i bring my mother?"

If she plays along it's a good sign, and it will usually come down to a yes or no in the end. The only thing that is really bad is if she doesn't play along at all, and just shuts it down and thinks you're being weird, then she's not interested.

 

[Loveneverfails]

No, they're not. They're really not. It's sad that women actually think this is true, but it isn't.

Maybe not in YOUR experience, Art, but don't be so hasty to generalize. I was actually trying to withhold evidence of my affections for a certain young man (mostly because I didn't want to get my hopes up.. I thought for sure he didn't like me "that way"), but after he began the courtship process and we entered into an exclusive relationship, he admitted to me that it was SO obvious that I liked him, and that was what gave him the little boost of courage to step out of his comfort zone (he is very shy and introverted) and pursue me.

Apparently he could tell by my body language. He said I have always come across as warm and approachable, but during the few weeks leading up to his decision to pursue me, he noticed that I would laugh and smile even more than usual, and that I blushed a lot.

I had no idea until he told me haha. I wasn't even trying to flirt, but I guess that just goes to show how much I liked him.

 

[buckets]

If she plays along it's a good sign, and it will usually come down to a yes or no in the end. The only thing that is really bad is if she doesn't play along at all, and just shuts it down and thinks you're being weird, then she's not interested.

I see your point and would be playful in most things if interested but I have to say in this whole let's run off thing even if interested in the guy I'd be creeped out

Just remember we are never all the same my opinion just be open and say "hey you do you think you'd be interested in me" all the games can back fire

 

[jimmydiggs]

And we have examples of women teaching their children (Lois and Eunice) and admonishments in proverbs to listen to your your mother as well as your father. The instruction in the Torah to teach your children is for both parents. Or do you think that the only scriptures that apply to women are the ones that specifically address us? If so, then we are in doomed in terms of salvation.

Again, you're hostility toward me has caused you to straw man.

I am quite aware that the word "man" used in a generic way that applies to both genders is indeed being used in a generic way that applies to both genders. I also do not negate commands to mothers. You're anger has clouded your judgement about me.

 

[Misty77]

Again, you're hostility toward me has caused you to straw man.

I am quite aware that the word "man" used in a generic way that applies to both genders is indeed being used in a generic way that applies to both genders. I also do not negate commands to mothers. You're anger has clouded your judgement about me.

I was unaware that speaking truth was an act of hostility. I apologize if I have hurt your feelings, and I assure you that I harbor no malice toward you. My intention was simply to reprove a brother in love so that he may walk in the truth.

Proverbs 9

[SUP]8 [/SUP]Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee; rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee.
[SUP]9 [/SUP]Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser; teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.

 

[secularhermit]

Who woos and who moves?

I´m forgotten!

I have to watch my mother´s love birds.

 

[SpySat1]

Hello! My name is Diana... I'd like to know your point of view about why men should do the ''first move'' and how would they do it... Thank you... God bless!

Because... Them's the rules!

 

[wisebeardman]

i still ain't doing no first move stuff.

 

[FireWire]

I was unaware that speaking truth was an act of hostility. I apologize if I have hurt your feelings, and I assure you that I harbor no malice toward you. My intention was simply to reprove a brother in love so that he may walk in the truth.

Proverbs 9

[SUP]8 [/SUP]Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee; rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee.
[SUP]9 [/SUP]Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser; teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.

Even if you are speaking the truth in love it came across as haughty so his response is justified and notice he didn't attack you. Did you learn anything from it?

 

[FireWire]

No, they're not. They're really not. It's sad that women actually think this is true, but it isn't.

I agree. It's usually mixed messages so we don't really know.

In my experience there's a bit of deceitful body language usually.

 

[Misty77]

Even if you are speaking the truth in love it came across as haughty so his response is justified and notice he didn't attack you. Did you learn anything from it?

He called me hostile, which I wasn't. And I apologized.

For all of the other readers out there, please note that this is a silencing technique. Instead of sticking to the topic, FireWire and Jimmydiggs are engaging in ad hominem attacks. The type most commonly used by men against women is to accuse them of being emotional or hormonal. This is an attempt to undermine the credibility of the woman by making her opinion seem irrelevant and is indicative that the they are unable to defend their position on facts alone. An actual debate among scholars discusses ideas without stooping to smear tactics.

Proverbs 29:1
He, that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy.

 

[FireWire]

No I didn't say it was wrong. I said the WAY you put it across was wrong. I never blamed women things on it either.

We're not scholars either.

If you are going to attack somebody because you think their thinking is wrong then you can expect to be attacked back or corrected.

It's not a debate now. It's a personal attack.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

I almost always agree with JimmyDiggs about Bible stuff, and I liked what he had to say about Prophet, Priest and King being not only Christ to the Church, but a man's role in his house (which is a shadow of Christ and the church). It makes sense.

Having said that, I didn't see anything hostile about Misty's initial response. Maybe there's some tension there from other forums, I dunno.

 

[rachelsedge]

Guys send mixed messages, too. Either that or I just read them wrong, which is actually probably the case. It was at least once.

 

[Misty77]

I almost always agree with JimmyDiggs about Bible stuff, and I liked what he had to say about Prophet, Priest and King being not only Christ to the Church, but a man's role in his house (which is a shadow of Christ and the church). It makes sense.

Having said that, I didn't see anything hostile about Misty's initial response. Maybe there's some tension there from other forums, I dunno.

I hate to play the gender card, but the most likely response I get from men that disagree with me theologically is to accuse me of being a feminist, hostile, unsubmissive, or emotional. I'm pleasantly surprised by men like Donkeyfish who can disagree with me without being belittling. I think many are genuinely surprised that I can go toe-to-toe with them scripturally. Or maybe they are taken aback by my lack of timidity. This response seems to be directly related to how conservative/traditional their beliefs are.

I suppose that it is a bit of a quirk of mine that when I am engaged intellectually, my mannerisms mirror the character of Dr. Brennan on Bones. I am thinking only of the facts while my emotions are completely disengaged, rendering me somewhat socially awkward (even more than normal ). I get caught up in the ideas and a little mesmerized by the chance to stretch my often dormant vocabulary. Still, it should not be the exception that a man treats me respectfully as an equal in an exercise of wits.

 

[FireWire]

He called me hostile, which I wasn't. And I apologized.

For all of the other readers out there, please note that this is a silencing technique. Instead of sticking to the topic, FireWire and Jimmydiggs are engaging in ad hominem attacks. The type most commonly used by men against women is to accuse them of being emotional or hormonal. This is an attempt to undermine the credibility of the woman by making her opinion seem irrelevant and is indicative that the they are unable to defend their position on facts alone. An actual debate among scholars discusses ideas without stooping to smear tactics.

Proverbs 29:1
He, that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy.

He made his point asked if anybody wanted more and you tried to shut him down. That's not a debate. That to me is quite hostile and rather immature.

Seems to me you have an issue with a man being head of the household?

Nobody is trying to silence you either. As if women can be silenced in this modern age.

peace yo!!

 

[alexis]

I'm not sure about much but the mixed signals dealio is kinda because people don't just say what they want or are thinking. I had someone tell me I lead them on by talking to them... Here is the thing ask me, I'll strait up tell anyone I have no interest in dating anyone. I'm currently growing my relationship in Christ..
plus I'm too young to date anyhow