Why men HAVE to do the ''first move''

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DianeGR

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Hello! My name is Diana... I'd like to know your point of view about why men should do the ''first move'' and how would they do it... Thank you... God bless!
 
I think there have 20 threads on this just within the past week. You should be able to find them if you search for them.
 
Is this...is this really happening?

*blinks*
*rubs eyes*
*blinks*

Yup. Not dreaming.


 
All I need is the
Green-Light.jpg
 
From my perspective, the honest truth is that women can and will do whatever they want.

If a girl likes me and shows it by tackling me in a field when I'm on a run, cool.

If she slashes my tires and then leaves a fat check with her contact information, thats cool too.

If she bursts into my house and barges into my room at like 3am, drags me out of bed to go and have breakfast, cool.

If she kidnaps my cat and then leaves creepy clues as to where she is hiding it and how if I ask her out I get it back, cool.

She can send me flowers, a first aid kit, a gallon of gasoline, Cuban cigars, Latitude and Longitude Coordinates and watch with a timer, cool.



What is not cool is passive aggressively complaining to all of her friends about why I'm a jerk because I haven't asked her out.

Or making an exhaustive list of qualities she is looking for in a man, that isn't anything like me. (or writing a song about how shallow she is and how she needs a tall handsome Christian man to buy her everything)

Or complaining to me about how pitiful her life is and that no one ever asks her out cause she must be ugly or the world is just full of jerks.

Or talking about how "Hot" or "Handsome" one of her guy friends is to me, and how she wishes she had a Boyfriend like him, only smarter or more successful.

Or telling me how amazing I am, followed by how one of her loser coworkers asked her out on a date, and she said yes.









People are people.
 
Or telling me how amazing I am, followed by how one of her loser coworkers asked her out on a date, and she said yes.
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Oh man.
This reminds me of a girl I used to like years ago. She would tell me how great a guy was that she went out with and then end with ''but he wasn't quite like you''.
We never dated though.
 
I used to be of the mindset that men should do the asking out, but the more I read stuff on here by intelligent people and the more I talk with others and see that there really are no Biblical mandates for dating (heh...pun), and who should "go after who", the more that I'm inclined to believe it's just whatever you want to do. You want to ask someone out? Go for it. Think it should be the man? Then don't. :) My preference is for the man to ask, but it's just a preference.

Though I gotta say, Liamson, if anyone woke me up at 3 AM...it would not be a good time for them, unless I already knew them and there was bacon involved in the breakfast somewhere. :cool:
 
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djness said:
All I need is the
Green-Light.jpg
Click to expand...

Maybe this is the answer, djness. :) Women need little necklaces like this to wear around their necks. Whenever they see a guy, they turn on Red for please-leave-me-alone, Yellow for I-am-not-quite-sure-about-you, but-let's-have-a-conversation-and-see-what-happens, and Green for Why-are-you-still-standing-there-staring-at-me, get-over-here. :)

I am definitely one of those women who prefer that men do the leading/asking, but there ARE ladylike ways to let a guy know you are interested.
 
Ugly said:
These are threads all on the same basic topic as this one:

This one was made 15 hours ago.. http://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/80656-put-your-big-boy-pants.html

This one is 2 days ago.. http://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/80498-why-shouldnt-women-make-first-move.html

This one is 1 day ago.. http://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/80575-why-should-guy-ask-girl-out-not-other-way-around-ever.html
Click to expand...
I didn't want ladies thinking they couldn't make the first move, they can, just don't have that first move be the asking out, TRY to let the guy do that, at all costs, the Lord leads, but, the guy should have the 'balls' as one person put it to ask the girl out. In Christian language, balls=faith in God.

So....... :)


And, my thread is specific about the guy doing 'the ask.'

It's vague, what is 'making the first move' is my biggest difference with artyiste's thread, not that his thread is bad, I just don't see my thread speaking the same language, so to speak :D

Upon reading artyiste's thread, I did not get the impression that to 'make the first move' was doing 'the ask,' hence, it's important to understand that a girl CAN make the first move as long as she is NOT actually asking out the guy.

That's the guys' job, we make a huge deal about asking out a girl, but, if the GIRL does her job, making the first move that does NOT include 'the ask,' believe you me, it makes our job a lot easier. As Deejayrooster posted, we can see a green light a lot easier.

'Course, a lot of we guys are color blind, too :D

Not saying we get it right after you've made the first move, but, we, at least, get a hint. It's up to us to actually ask out a girl once we can see that the girl is responding to our time with her in the check-out line, or, library, or wherever meet.

The Lord leads :)

But, as a rule (not an exception), the guy should be the one asking the girl out, I think. Notice, I call this my opinion, but, I think, I speak from most guys' (the majority), especially Christian guys, who know a guy SHOULD have enough trust/faith in Him to ask the girl out. :)
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If no one wants to talk on this topic anymore right now, then, not responding to the post to put it at the top of the page is a good rule of thumb :)
 
Green, i didn't say you said anything. Nor did i say what 'exactly' your thread was about. In fact...
These are threads all on the same basic topic as this one:
Click to expand...
 
Yet another thread on this?

Perhaps it's because guys aren't making the first move these days in greater numbers than before. In my opinion guys aren't even approaching women that much these days anyway to get to the point of making the "first move".

My view is because women these days simply aren't attractive enough. They're just as aggressive/boorish/lacking in charm as men are.

If you want guys to be motivated to make the first move then be a bit more approachable and nicer and kinder. You're not going to attract a guy by being a guy.

Kapish?
 
Wow, pretty popular topic.

I'll say my opinion, again: I don't think it matters who pursues.
 
Jullianna said:
Maybe this is the answer, djness. :) Women need little necklaces like this to wear around their necks. Whenever they see a guy, they turn on Red for please-leave-me-alone, Yellow for I-am-not-quite-sure-about-you, but-let's-have-a-conversation-and-see-what-happens, and Green for Why-are-you-still-standing-there-staring-at-me, get-over-here. :)
Click to expand...

You guys already have those built in, it's called body language :P
 
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