What annoys me about people telling single Christians about dating

[Hazelelponi]

I went to Calvary Chapel for many years. Taught a Sunday School class there. I enjoyed Pastor Chuck's teaching, but hated when they went into the purity movement. It really destroyed the singles group.

I don't know anything about the purity movement but it seems your main problem overall is people calling "making out" a sin.

Is that what bothers you about the movement as you call it? That making out and a secular style of dating went out the window?

 

[JohnB]

I don't know anything about the purity movement but it seems your main problem overall is people calling "making out" a sin.

Is that what bothers you about the movement as you call it? That making out and a secular style of dating went out the window?

Look up the purity movement in the church. Also look at the book "I kissed Dating Goodbye"

 

[Hazelelponi]

Look up the purity movement in the church. Also look at the book "I kissed Dating Goodbye"

I'm not buying and reading an entire book about a trend that is fairly well non existent in churches today.

Your the one who knows about this, so I'm asking YOU for the exact points which bother you and cause you to disagree.

 

[JohnB]

I'm not buying and reading an entire book about a trend that is fairly well non existent in churches today.

Your the one who knows about this, so I'm asking YOU for the exact points which bother you and cause you to disagree.

They were against one on one dating. No physical contact until after marriage. No kissing, no hugging, no holding hands. NONE of this is biblical.

 

[SomeDisciple]

They were against one on one dating. No physical contact until after marriage. No kissing, no hugging, no holding hands. NONE of this is biblical.

Bro, if you think you can be doing intimate things like that you're not walking in love. You're supposed to be sober minded- if you are all kissing on your dates, you may as well be drunk. How are you gonna say that's not biblical?

One on one dating: I'll fully agree with you. The way people act with you when you're one on one is very telling.

 

[presidente]

3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:.....and how was this done? MARRIAGE!!!!!

Paul recommended marriage for those who 'could not contain' at being celibate. Celibacy was his preferred option.

 

[JohnB]

Paul recommended marriage for those who 'could not contain' at being celibate. Celibacy was his preferred option.

It is the worse option for me. I could never accept celibacy.

 

[JohnB]

Bro, if you think you can be doing intimate things like that you're not walking in love. You're supposed to be sober minded- if you are all kissing on your dates, you may as well be drunk. How are you gonna say that's not biblical?

One on one dating: I'll fully agree with you. The way people act with you when you're one on one is very telling.

There is nothing wrong with showing affection. It's not a sin. But, if you cannot handle it, don't do it.

 

[Hazelelponi]

There is nothing wrong with showing affection. It's not a sin. But, if you cannot handle it, don't do it.

If I was looking to marry and a man called himself Christian and then turned around and tried kissing on me I'd drop him like a hot potato for calling himself a Christian and not living out the faith in his actions.

In short - I wouldn't believe his profession of faith.

I love sex probably more than anyone here, but I absolutely love God more, and I'll not bring shame to the Name - I do live out my faith to my best ability.

I found a wonderful Christian man to marry - who never touched me prior to marriage, he never even tried. I 100% respect him for that... I wouldn't have married less.

And yes I honestly think you're running off good women by your own behavior because it's not consistent with your profession of faith

 

[JohnB]

If I was looking to marry and a man called himself Christian and then turned around and tried kissing on me I'd drop him like a hot potato for calling himself a Christian and not living out the faith in his actions.

In short - I wouldn't believe his profession of faith.

I love sex probably more than anyone here, but I absolutely love God more, and I'll not bring shame to the Name - I do live out my faith to my best ability.

I found a wonderful Christian man to marry - who never touched me prior to marriage, he never even tried. I 100% respect him for that... I wouldn't have married less.

And yes I honestly think you're running off good women by your own behavior because it's not consistent with your profession of faith

where in the scripture is showing affection a sin?

 

[Hazelelponi]

where in the scripture is showing affection a sin?

You can easily show affection in ways that don't involve physically touching one another.

My husband has always declared he knows I love him because of the way I look at him; I apparently look at him with a love in my eyes no one else ever looked at him like, not even his wife (God rest her soul).

You know when there's love - and you know when there's something to respect and love without touching.

Touching just shows lack of self control when self control is most needed. Your not getting a saved daughter of God who's going to be all kissy face with you.

 

[JohnB]

You can easily show affection in ways that don't involve physically touching one another.

My husband has always declared he knows I love him because of the way I look at him; I apparently look at him with a love in my eyes no one else ever looked at him like, not even his wife (God rest her soul).

You know when there's love - and you know when there's something to respect and love without touching.

Touching just shows lack of self control when self control is most needed. Your not getting a saved daughter of God who's going to be all kissy face with you.

So where in the scripture is it a sin to show affection?

 

[Hazelelponi]

So where in the scripture is it a sin to show affection?

Making out is fornicating if you're unmarried - it's not affection.

 

[presidente]

If I was looking to marry and a man called himself Christian and then turned around and tried kissing on me I'd drop him like a hot potato for calling himself a Christian and not living out the faith in his actions.

In short - I wouldn't believe his profession of faith.

My wife and I were both virgins, and not just 'technical virgins', either. But I would probably scale back the affection a little bit if I were to do it over again.

A lot of people get this idea from TV and the movies that they are supposed to kiss each other on the lips before they get married, and if there are emotional fireworks, that is some kind of test as to whether they are to be together. It was considered a normal thing to do back before fornication became so accepted in our culture... at least going by what I see in media and such. But that doesn't mean it is a good part of our culture.

Be that as it may, Jacob kissed Rachel when he met her. Now it might have been a cousinly kiss, on the cheek or something like that, but he did kiss her.

Still, the Proverbs say 'Do not awaken love until the proper time' in one translation, or 'Do not awaken love until it so desires.' Kissing can lead to other things.... like dancing.

And yes I honestly think you're running off good women by your own behavior because it's not consistent with your profession of faith

If I were single, and I wanted a wife and to get a good one, I had to not kiss her, that sounds like a reasonable hoop to jump through. Being a 'good kisser' isn't all that high a priority, especially if it is achieved by exchanging mono germs and monkey virii with previous love interests.

 

[presidente]

Making out is fornicating if you're unmarried - it's not affection.

Kissin' is a whorin? Well, that sounds like it is a bit much. Did Jacob fornicate with Rachel when he met her? Could an Israelite woman have been stoned for that?

 

[presidente]

where in the scripture is showing affection a sin?

Better to let the dam of affection explode all at once after marriage.

 

[JohnB]

Making out is fornicating if you're unmarried - it's not affection.

Greek: πορνεία —transliteration: porneia —meaning: fornication; sexual immorality; illicit sexual intercourse in general; adultery; unchastity; incest; surrendering (or selling off) sexual purity; whoredom

 

[JohnB]

Better to let the dam of affection explode all at once after marriage.

By than you find out your new spouse hates any affection.

 

[JohnB]

My wife and I were both virgins, and not just 'technical virgins', either. But I would probably scale back the affection a little bit if I were to do it over again.

A lot of people get this idea from TV and the movies that they are supposed to kiss each other on the lips before they get married, and if there are emotional fireworks, that is some kind of test as to whether they are to be together. It was considered a normal thing to do back before fornication became so accepted in our culture... at least going by what I see in media and such. But that doesn't mean it is a good part of our culture.

Be that as it may, Jacob kissed Rachel when he met her. Now it might have been a cousinly kiss, on the cheek or something like that, but he did kiss her.

Still, the Proverbs say 'Do not awaken love until the proper time' in one translation, or 'Do not awaken love until it so desires.' Kissing can lead to other things.... like dancing.



If I were single, and I wanted a wife and to get a good one, I had to not kiss her, that sounds like a reasonable hoop to jump through. Being a 'good kisser' isn't all that high a priority, especially if it is achieved by exchanging mono germs and monkey virii with previous love interests.

"Still, the Proverbs say 'Do not awaken love until the proper time' in one translation, or 'Do not awaken love until it so desires.' Kissing can lead to other things.... like dancing " LOL

"Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine. " Song of Solomon 1:2 Better find the out before you marry. Years ago I met a woman who hated kissing. We never went on a second date.

 

[presidente]

By than you find out your new spouse hates any affection.

You could make the same argument for 'test driving' the car through fornication. That's one reason some men say they want to have sex before marriage, to see if she's good at it, or likes or whatever.

"Still, the Proverbs say 'Do not awaken love until the proper time' in one translation, or 'Do not awaken love until it so desires.' Kissing can lead to other things.... like dancing " LOL

"Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine. " Song of Solomon 1:2 Better find the out before you marry. Years ago I met a woman who hated kissing. We never went on a second date.

What if she says she'd like to kiss a lot, but only after marriage? What if she says she wants to kiss and have lots and lots of sex, but only after marriage? Is that worth waiting for? If you have lots of sex, embracing and such, after marriage, do you mind if there is not a lot of kissing on the lips? I have read there are cultures where they don't kiss on the lips. The Romans might have been like that between husband and wife.

Is Solomon a good example of someone to follow when it comes to women and romantic relationships? What was that secret place under the stairs? At some point in the poem, maybe he was married to her.