Update

[Shoshie]

I wanted to begin by thanking each and every one of you for the prayers, Scriptures, videos, Godly wisdom, and real concern you all have had for me not just the last few days but months.
Last night, while at work, I posted about God leaving me. Praise God, I think we all know God doesn't leave us, but maybe, as some of you have asked, I can explain me.
For years, unlike most zchristian people I know, Ive had trust issues with the Lord. A lot of it stems from my relationship with my bio father.
As Ibgot off work this AM from the hospital, I thought why is it that I can't just repent of things and move on with the Lord like others do and enjoy Him without feeling Im struggling to reach Him. I came home totally exhausted after 12 hours and different from my norm, sat down in a chair intending to go and take my bath but fell quickly asleep. When I woke up I knew the Lord was there!!! I began to ponder things in my life.
Im in a very deep pain re: especially the last years events in my life. First, one year ago, this past Father's Day, my stepdad died. A fine, Godly once minister of the gospel, who loved me for me. Then 5 1/2 months later my Mom and best friend, Godly woman passed away. My heart broke into!!! It was near the end of her life I first began coming on this site. The sorrow almost seems worse now than at the beginning. My heart is broken as I am about to approach Seasons, my birthday on July 1st, the first without my parents being with me. My Mom's birthday pn August 4th another shared moment zill no longer have.
There have been misunderstandings with my extended family. Many of them have had their own struggles and crosses and they have helped me but most of my time Ive been alone. Everyone has their own life. Mine is a bit shipwrecked right now. And finangling the management of tge household with homeowners isdues and working full time. It's been a lot! I'd like to think I could do something for the kingdom but sometimes I can't even help myself.
Maybe this explains me better and any wisdom Im willing to listen too!!! How do I be that loving child of God and faithful and survive the loneliness and pain ? Its much larger than I can fathom. God bless all of you!!!

 

[Gideon300]

I wanted to begin by thanking each and every one of you for the prayers, Scriptures, videos, Godly wisdom, and real concern you all have had for me not just the last few days but months.
Last night, while at work, I posted about God leaving me. Praise God, I think we all know God doesn't leave us, but maybe, as some of you have asked, I can explain me.
For years, unlike most zchristian people I know, Ive had trust issues with the Lord. A lot of it stems from my relationship with my bio father.
As Ibgot off work this AM from the hospital, I thought why is it that I can't just repent of things and move on with the Lord like others do and enjoy Him without feeling Im struggling to reach Him. I came home totally exhausted after 12 hours and different from my norm, sat down in a chair intending to go and take my bath but fell quickly asleep. When I woke up I knew the Lord was there!!! I began to ponder things in my life.
Im in a very deep pain re: especially the last years events in my life. First, one year ago, this past Father's Day, my stepdad died. A fine, Godly once minister of the gospel, who loved me for me. Then 5 1/2 months later my Mom and best friend, Godly woman passed away. My heart broke into!!! It was near the end of her life I first began coming on this site. The sorrow almost seems worse now than at the beginning. My heart is broken as I am about to approach Seasons, my birthday on July 1st, the first without my parents being with me. My Mom's birthday pn August 4th another shared moment zill no longer have.
There have been misunderstandings with my extended family. Many of them have had their own struggles and crosses and they have helped me but most of my time Ive been alone. Everyone has their own life. Mine is a bit shipwrecked right now. And finangling the management of tge household with homeowners isdues and working full time. It's been a lot! I'd like to think I could do something for the kingdom but sometimes I can't even help myself.
Maybe this explains me better and any wisdom Im willing to listen too!!! How do I be that loving child of God and faithful and survive the loneliness and pain ? Its much larger than I can fathom. God bless all of you!!!

You sound much better, thank you Jesus. Grieving is normal but excessive grief is unhealthy - as you have discovered. My now wife was widowed in 2011, on her birthday. Leaving out a lot of detail, I came from work to find her late husband covered by a sheet, ambulance crew and police were there. She was calmly offering the first responders coffee. We talked it over at length after everyone left.

She told me she had a bit of a cry in her bedroom. She then put all the care, grief and sense of loss on the Lord Jesus. She has never been overcome by sorrow and grief. She said goodbye to the man that she had loved and nursed (he was not well) for 20 years. He was my friend and mentor for nearly 30 years. We both know well that he was welcomed into the presence of his Lord, Saviour and best friend, Jesus. We will see him again in glory. His sufferings are over. He was 74. He is not dead. He is entirely healed and simply changed location. We will join him sooner or later.

That evening, we went out for dinner to celebrate my now wife's birthday. It was a little subdued, but we also remembered the blessing that her late husband was to us both.

David mourned the son of his sin for a week. If grieving, sorrow and mourning was of any value, it would be a good thing. It's not. Jesus quoted Isaiah 61 at the start of His ministry. Luke does not record it, but Isaiah includes "bind up the brokenhearted". Let's not hang onto a broken heart when healing is ours for the asking.

 

[Shoshie]

You sound much better, thank you Jesus. Grieving is normal but excessive grief is unhealthy - as you have discovered. My now wife was widowed in 2011, on her birthday. Leaving out a lot of detail, I came from work to find her late husband covered by a sheet, ambulance crew and police were there. She was calmly offering the first responders coffee. We talked it over at length after everyone left.

She told me she had a bit of a cry in her bedroom. She then put all the care, grief and sense of loss on the Lord Jesus. She has never been overcome by sorrow and grief. She said goodbye to the man that she had loved and nursed (he was not well) for 20 years. He was my friend and mentor for nearly 30 years. We both know well that he was welcomed into the presence of his Lord, Saviour and best friend, Jesus. We will see him again in glory. His sufferings are over. He was 74. He is not dead. He is entirely healed and simply changed location. We will join him sooner or later.

That evening, we went out for dinner to celebrate my now wife's birthday. It was a little subdued, but we also remembered the blessing that her late husband was to us both.

David mourned the son of his sin for a week. If grieving, sorrow and mourning was of any value, it would be a good thing. It's not. Jesus quoted Isaiah 61 at the start of His ministry. Luke does not record it, but Isaiah includes "bind up the brokenhearted". Let's not hang onto a broken heart when healing is ours for the asking.

 

[Shoshie]

I think as my Mom's caregiver, I feel I made many mistakes. Some of that time is a blur and my thinking may have been distorted but I am an only child and we were especially close. Paul said we dont sorrow as those who have no hope. He didn't say we dont sorrow, but that we dont do it with lack of hope. I think it's the loneliness I feel. She was my Mom but also my best friend! I know she isn't suffering now! My stepdad died about 6 months prior to her and the 1 year anniversary of his passing just occurred.
I feel Ive had some really great people reach out but Ive been disappointed by others. Do people not realize that a person's life has changed and they might need support? I keep thinking, dont let me do other people that way.

 

[Suze]

I think as my Mom's caregiver, I feel I made many mistakes. Some of that time is a blur and my thinking may have been distorted but I am an only child and we were especially close. Paul said we dont sorrow as those who have no hope. He didn't say we dont sorrow, but that we dont do it with lack of hope. I think it's the loneliness I feel. She was my Mom but also my best friend! I know she isn't suffering now! My stepdad died about 6 months prior to her and the 1 year anniversary of his passing just occurred.
I feel Ive had some really great people reach out but Ive been disappointed by others. Do people not realize that a person's life has changed and they might need support? I keep thinking, dont let me do other people that way.

U need to tap into the support that u do have . Rest in Him , try to relax and forgive yourself for all those things that u think u did wrong . It's sounds to me as if u have been a kind and loving daughter and I'm sure you mum and step dad felt and appreciated your love . That's all we can do for anyone in this life is , show them love . U did that and they knew your love . Rest in God now and try to rebuild your life and live in Christ as a happy and loving Christian , which is what I hope for u to b , happy in Christ . God will have other things for u to do in time but for now try to relax and move forward with your life knowing that u have been an excellent daughter .

 

[crmvet]

Philippians 4:19

 

[Shoshie]

U need to tap into the support that u do have . Rest in Him , try to relax and forgive yourself for all those things that u think u did wrong . It's sounds to me as if u have been a kind and loving daughter and I'm sure you mum and step dad felt and appreciated your love . That's all we can do for anyone in this life is , show them love . U did that and they knew your love . Rest in God now and try to rebuild your life and live in Christ as a happy and loving Christian , which is what I hope for u to b , happy in Christ . God will have other things for u to do in time but for now try to relax and move forward with your life knowing that u have been an excellent daughter .

Thank you, Suze! I cant tell you what your response meant to me and Im so glad for a merciful loving God who has never left or forsaken me!

 

[jacko]

It's a blessing your parents know the Lord and in heaven. I pray for my parents to know the Lord off and on for 30 years. I finally realize that weight is not for me to bear.