Things NOT to say on your first date....

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All my clothes were in the laundry, so I wore my Spider-Man Halloween costume instead. I hope you’re OK with it. Don’t worry. My name is not Peter Parker and I don’t have a secret identity. Masks are fashionable nowadays, no?
 
Flowers?! How old-fashioned. Dont you know I appreciate a good txt message over flowers.
 
well some flowers are edible but some are poisonous, I assume you know which ones are edible.
 
7 children should be enough, I would like a large family so we need to get started right away. You look like you will do.
 
7 children should be enough, I would like a large family so we need to get started right away. You look like you will do.

At my age, this would be something very fine to hear actually. :) (that scared me to death when I was young and dumb though)

"Sorry, I was late. I had to buy condoms at the pharmacy."