Me: Since we're going to the movies...can you stop buy Dollar Tree first?
Him: why?
Me: I want candy! Don't worry babe...that's what the large purse is for!
The real reason I ask you out tonight ....I need a kidney and you looked like a good healthy candidateso...whatta ya say ?
Rewrite:But don't worry, the doctor said it's not contagious.
Desperate Man that had a Vasectomy says:“Man we’re gonna have some good looking kids”
Desperate Man with who has had a vasectomy“Man we’re gonna have some good looking kids”
Man with positive attitude:I haven’t had a date since I accidentally set that one guy on fire
Desperate man:My husband said not to be out too late.