The Girl Before And After!

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Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
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Just understand this one thing brother. We have tv, social media, magazines and music telling us we are flawed. It's a constant drumbeat. You weigh too much, your teeth aren't white enough, you sweat in the wrong places, you smell bad, your eyes aren't white enough (yes, it's on TV) your fingernails are yellow. Take a breath, your skin is too dry, its too crepey (whatever that means) your lips aren't kissable. Breath. Your hair is lifeless, gray, balding, frizzy, oily. You have acne, you have backne, you have Psoriasis. Can you understand why people are touchy? How about God made you, you are fearfully and wonderfully made and you're more than the sum of your parts. How can we reach a lost world when we are so self centered and self loathing? I honestly believe it's a trick of the devil. Let's encourage one another in the Lord. We hear enough negative, let's not make it worse.
thanks for your inspiration at a time that is perfect while i am restructuring to adapt to modern interpretations of statements. we both know many decades ago, people received what they were told with proper listening, admittance, identification, recognition & correction to realize things can be better. the devil didn't trick me, it's just my stern strict approach to life. i'm geared that way. tis' nice to have a Christian sister ThereRoseaLamb! hey, keep in line, when i fail!! i never had sisters so you are my first one!!!! yeah!!! i'll leave you with some comedy: as far as smelling bad, i probably hold the record on CC when i come home from work landscaping on a day that was 95 degrees!!!! hahahaha. blessings to my new sister!!!!!
 

ThereRoseaLamb

Well-known member
Jan 17, 2023
5,823
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thanks for your inspiration at a time that is perfect while i am restructuring to adapt to modern interpretations of statements. we both know many decades ago, people received what they were told with proper listening, admittance, identification, recognition & correction to realize things can be better. the devil didn't trick me, it's just my stern strict approach to life. i'm geared that way. tis' nice to have a Christian sister ThereRoseaLamb! hey, keep in line, when i fail!! i never had sisters so you are my first one!!!! yeah!!! i'll leave you with some comedy: as far as smelling bad, i probably hold the record on CC when i come home from work landscaping on a day that was 95 degrees!!!! hahahaha. blessings to my new sister!!!!!
Well, I have no brothers, so this is a great new relationship! Landscaping would be a tough and dirty job. But worth all the work when the job is done. Blessings on your day brother!
 

FredVB

Active member
Feb 26, 2022
163
40
28
You would not know from media, which at best has distorted truth. There is a wide range in how men are attracted. Sometimes it really involves weight. But for others it involves different things and it doesn't include weight being considered. There is no sure statement about how any men are attracted that would not be too much a blanket statement.
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
3,303
1,519
113
You would not know from media, which at best has distorted truth. There is a wide range in how men are attracted. Sometimes it really involves weight. But for others it involves different things and it doesn't include weight being considered. There is no sure statement about how any men are attracted that would not be too much a blanket statement.
sure to that. all of our characteristics, personalities & attitudes make up each person's wants & desires in dating.
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
3,303
1,519
113
Karlon, it's great you and your wife are healthy, but the way you speak on these matters concerning women raises the question: Do you honestly think your wife feels comfortable enough around you to gain any weight?
no. it'll never happen anyway. we both are accountable to look fine the way we desire for each other. & that is thin.
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
3,303
1,519
113
I find it a bit odd that he's so interested in how other women look. Why not concentrate on and enjoy his wife and her perfect thinness rather than berate women who don't meet his standards? Why does he care?
no, you have it wrong. i'm not so interested in how other women look. that is not the topic. nearly everyone misunderstood the main issue. i didn't berate anyone either. it's not so much i care. just understand what i posted for what it is & nothing else. that's really all it is. people have taken this issue personally. never intended that way at all.
 

GaryA

Truth, Honesty, Love, Courage
Aug 10, 2019
10,347
4,515
113
mywebsite.us
Simply say the word - and, they are offended. Because, they think you are insulting them. When - in many/most cases - you are simply being honest and "telling it like it is"...
 
Jan 17, 2023
5,823
2,642
113
Simply say the word - and, they are offended. Because, they think you are insulting them. When - in many/most cases - you are simply "telling it like it is"...
Well, I assume if I could find a cure for the acid issues I have with my stomach, and not have to take pills that make me hungry as a horse I could be thin again. But here's the deal, some people will never be thin. It's not possible for them. They are never going to fit into a size 2 no matter how much they starve themselves.
 
Jan 31, 2025
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no. it'll never happen anyway. we both are accountable to look fine the way we desire for each other. & that is thin.
You know, a man being thin has never really been my priority list for a spouse. However, if looking thin is something that matters to you and your wife, that’s wonderful—it’s great to have things you both appreciate in each other. Ultimately, what’s most important is your faith in God and the trust you share. God willing, that will always be the strongest foundation for your relationship.
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
3,303
1,519
113
Simply say the word - and, they are offended. Because, they think you are insulting them. When - in many/most cases - you are simply being honest and "telling it like it is"...
thanks GaryA. you are only the 2nd person to hear what i said & know the meaning. it's not difficult at all. look how people reacted even though the 1st 2 sentences laid the truth out!!! also, the story was not about my wife & i at all. it was about 2 bikers having lunch in the adirondacks & the story got out how 1 biker was embarrassed or ashamed that his lady friend or wife was not the size he wanted. i hope we all hear a posting for what it is & not assume, guess, twist or selfishly understand it how they desire.
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
3,303
1,519
113
You know, a man being thin has never really been my priority list for a spouse. However, if looking thin is something that matters to you and your wife, that’s wonderful—it’s great to have things you both appreciate in each other. Ultimately, what’s most important is your faith in God and the trust you share. God willing, that will always be the strongest foundation for your relationship.
that's beautiful Daisy2! it is since 1993 when i became born again. yes, it's our strongest #1 point in our relationship. thanks.
 
Jan 31, 2025
14
3
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This topic, probably, most would consider, is for the ladies. So, guys all over the world question why women gain weight after they become a girlfriend or wife. We know partly, the reason why. Women become attached & feel like they are secure so contentment abounds. Most men out there have dealt with this issue especially in America. here's the meaty part of it, no pun intended; girls wonder why guys are not attracted to them anymore because they gained weight. Well, all you women know that guys are attracted by looks which God has designed. So, if a women was large when the guy noticed her, he wouldn't have asked her on a date! No mockery or disparagement intended here. Please girls, Christian honest answers only. by course, guys go ahead & answer too.
Love your neighbor as yourself. You cannot love another if you do not love yourself. If you hate your appearance, your hate will spread out and despise others, it will be covetousness and jealousy will soon appear. Or you'll judge someone different from you and you'll place yourself as higher, due to some superstitious reasoning.

The accuser tells you you need a checklist to be loved. You need to be a certain weight, you need a certain outfit, you need only this make-up, you need that bag, those heels, and this skin cream. Oh and if you don't have that shampoo and perfume, don't bother. And once you have all that, the accuser will crop up and tell you to do it all again, and again and again and again and again. The world needs less of this attitude, this insidious bile causes entire generations to know nothing but extremes in their vain attempts to find the only real cure. Love. Which we know as God.

Over-eating does not come from security or contentment, quite the opposite. If you have ever fasted, then you would know security and contentment. Junk food is often reached for when feeling anxious and uneasy, its a quick short term dopamine boost, to attempt to subconsciously solve some stressors that you have riled up.

Just know this, you are loved. The Father loves you and instead of trusting in something external to solve the issue, trust in Him.

Weight loss attempts never work when they are fueled by hate. If you hate yourself and you attempt to cut the weight, this usually just leads to a short attempt followed by a crash then binge. Why? Because hate never wins. If the weight loss attempt was fueled by love, that is to say a true genuine desire to better oneself, for good reason and good emotion, it will work. Why? Because love always wins.

I will say it again, you are loved.
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
3,303
1,519
113
Love your neighbor as yourself. You cannot love another if you do not love yourself. If you hate your appearance, your hate will spread out and despise others, it will be covetousness and jealousy will soon appear. Or you'll judge someone different from you and you'll place yourself as higher, due to some superstitious reasoning.

The accuser tells you you need a checklist to be loved. You need to be a certain weight, you need a certain outfit, you need only this make-up, you need that bag, those heels, and this skin cream. Oh and if you don't have that shampoo and perfume, don't bother. And once you have all that, the accuser will crop up and tell you to do it all again, and again and again and again and again. The world needs less of this attitude, this insidious bile causes entire generations to know nothing but extremes in their vain attempts to find the only real cure. Love. Which we know as God.

Over-eating does not come from security or contentment, quite the opposite. If you have ever fasted, then you would know security and contentment. Junk food is often reached for when feeling anxious and uneasy, its a quick short term dopamine boost, to attempt to subconsciously solve some stressors that you have riled up.

Just know this, you are loved. The Father loves you and instead of trusting in something external to solve the issue, trust in Him.

Weight loss attempts never work when they are fueled by hate. If you hate yourself and you attempt to cut the weight, this usually just leads to a short attempt followed by a crash then binge. Why? Because hate never wins. If the weight loss attempt was fueled by love, that is to say a true genuine desire to better oneself, for good reason and good emotion, it will work. Why? Because love always wins.

I will say it again, you are loved.
your posting applies to those who it fits & i hope they learn.
 

GaryA

Truth, Honesty, Love, Courage
Aug 10, 2019
10,347
4,515
113
mywebsite.us
Simply say the word - and, they are offended. Because, they think you are insulting them. When - in many/most cases - you are simply being honest and "telling it like it is"...
Well, I assume if I could find a cure for the acid issues I have with my stomach, and not have to take pills that make me hungry as a horse I could be thin again. But here's the deal, some people will never be thin. It's not possible for them. They are never going to fit into a size 2 no matter how much they starve themselves.
Are you offended? Do you feel insulted?

You are proving my point.

The intent of my point is that folks should not be offended - or feel insulted - simply by others making conversation on such issues.

Yes - of course - they are real issues. However, for folks to simply talk about 'thin' and 'not-so-thin' - in of itself - does not insult anyone - and, should not be quick to offend. The offense more-times-than-not comes from within the one offended.

To "tell it like it is" is to "be real and honest" about an issue.

So - let me "tell you like it is"...

I am assuming that the pills you are taking are some kind of doctor-prescribed pharmaceutical drug.

We all know (at least those of us who are paying attention) that pharmaceutical drugs have side-effects.

Do you know why that is?

It is because pharmaceutical drugs are made from the same "base" material - the remaining waste product "sludge" of the oil distillation process. After removing everything from oil that is profitable - for fuel, plastics, etc. - the "unprofitable" leftover "sludge" is taken to chemical labs where pharmaceutical drugs are made from/with it. Ironically, pharmaceutical drugs seem to have become the greatest profitable thing to come from oil.

The way God designed our bodies - we are unable to properly process this "base" material - which is why pharmaceutical drugs have side-effects - and, why those side-effects can be so drastic as to actually be worse than what they are being prescribed for.

The correct solution for any health ailment is not a pharmaceutical drug (one of the great deceptions of our day); rather, it is a 'natural remedy' - "God's way" - pharmaceutical drugs are the "devil's way" - they never actually cure anything - they are only a "band-aid" that cover up or temporarily reduce symptoms. And, in the silent background, they do more harm than good.

Before you know it, you are taking yet another drug - and another - and another.

And, you ask yourself "Why am I having all of these issues whereby I must take drugs?"...

Well - more-times-than-not - the new issues are caused by the other drugs you are already taking.

If you will do some research to understand how God actually intended the body to work - you will find that "man's science" is much more detrimental to your body than 'natural remedy'.

I am not saying that no good can come from 'modern medical science'; however, it is "bad news" when it comes to some things where good health is concerned - especially if you take pharmaceutical drugs for an extended period of time.

Now - I am not telling you to simply stop taking those pills - I do not even know what they are. But, the one thing I am absolutely sure of is - if you will put your trust in God to provide the cure you need - and, learn all you can about the true nature of things in this crazy world - and, do your best to go the route of 'natural remedy' and not "man's science" - you will probably discover that there are more-and-better options available to you than you ever realized.

You may discover that "some people will never be thin" is just a lie you have swallowed. Nothing is impossible with God. Believe in Him - not man.

Learn how to "do health" according to what God did - the real and natural way it actually works for good-and-proper health.

Yes - I know that we have so many things against us - from depleted soil to industrial chemicals - and other things.

The pharmaceutical drugs people take tend to prevent their body from extracting fat from fat stores of the body.

This a big part of why folks who take a handful of pharmaceutical drugs every day cannot seem to lose weight.

We need to trust in God and follow His recipe for natural health. He has the answers. We should listen to Him.

You do not have to starve yourself - you simply must understand what is necessary for you to give up.

Eat the right things and you can eat all you want while losing weight at the same time.

The problem is we like to eat things that are bad for us - and, make us gain weight.

Eating habits are important - when we eat is just as important as what we eat.

Do not blame God and do not blame others. Be Real. Deal with it honestly.

Part of that is understanding "what really is" - and, how it affects you.

It will help you to know what to do about every issue you have.

The one thing in this world that there is more of than anything else in the world - deception.

Almost everything you have ever been taught in your life is predicated on some kind/form of a lie.

Much of "modern science" is not real science - it is "made up" for the sake of an agenda and for profit.

The idea that "it is not possible for them" is based on a lie. For as long as you believe it, it will be true.

You think you are helpless to make a difference - but, it is not true. Folks are not as helpless as they think.

What is required is having the right knowledge - making the right decisions - and, having the fortitude to "stick with it" and carry them out.

I am not saying it is easy - it is not. However, it is what is required...

Do not be offended. Do not feel insulted. Do not get angry. Do not feel ashamed.

Instead, get educated on "what really is" - so that you can work toward the good-and-proper answer you need/seek.

The answers are there - you must "do the research" to find them. Otherwise, you are just being tossed about by deception.

Most important of all - trust in God for the things you do not yet understand...
 

GaryA

Truth, Honesty, Love, Courage
Aug 10, 2019
10,347
4,515
113
mywebsite.us
thanks GaryA. you are only the 2nd person to hear what i said & know the meaning. it's not difficult at all. look how people reacted even though the 1st 2 sentences laid the truth out!!! also, the story was not about my wife & i at all. it was about 2 bikers having lunch in the adirondacks & the story got out how 1 biker was embarrassed or ashamed that his lady friend or wife was not the size he wanted. i hope we all hear a posting for what it is & not assume, guess, twist or selfishly understand it how they desire.
Let me tell you a true story...

At a family gathering, my older brother made an offhand remark about his wife being overweight - to which, my grandmother said to him:

"Now, Scott - you married her that way!"

(not his real name)

There was nothing he could say to that - it was true - she was definitely overweight when he married her.

I decided right-then-and-there that I would never allow myself to marry "a fat woman" (to put it succinctly).

That was many years ago. But, I still have every intent to hold myself to the promise I made to myself that day.

Now - if I married a woman today - we might both be fat-and-happy sitting in our rocking chairs on the front porch many years later...

Nonetheless: "That would be then but this is now."

I never said I would stop loving a woman if she gained some weight. But, I will say that I do not want the relationship to start out that way.

And, that is one of the points you were making - that [most] men do not "look for" [a large woman] to start a romantic relationship with.

And, it is normal - God intended for all of us to be 'thin-and-trim' - it is the healthy state of the human body.

It is perfectly natural and normal for a man to desire to have and "look for" a 'thin-and-trim' woman for a wife.

You posed this:
girls wonder why guys are not attracted to them anymore because they gained weight.
And then answered it with this:
Well, all you women know that guys are attracted by looks which God has designed.
And then illustrated it with this:
So, if a women was large when the guy noticed her, he wouldn't have asked her on a date!

As far as I am concerned, you were simply "telling it like it is"...

~

I would like to suggest that it would have been better if you had started your initial post with the story about the bikers rather than just writing about the end result of your thoughts on the experience. You know - give some context - so that folks might better be able to understand where you are coming from...
 
Jan 17, 2023
5,823
2,642
113
Are you offended? Do you feel insulted?

You are proving my point.
Where in the world did you get the idea that I was offended or insulted? How in the world did you read offense into that? smh lol


The intent of my point is that folks should not be offended - or feel insulted - simply by others making conversation on such issues.
No one can say how another person should feel, or react. Everyone is an individual and sees things from different POV.


Yes - of course - they are real issues. However, for folks to simply talk about 'thin' and 'not-so-thin' - in of itself - does not insult anyone - and, should not be quick to offend. The offense more-times-than-not comes from within the one offended.
Same statement, just said in a different way. We don't get to tell others how they should feel and react.


To "tell it like it is" is to "be real and honest" about an issue.

So - let me "tell you like it is"...

I am assuming that the pills you are taking are some kind of doctor-prescribed pharmaceutical drug.

We all know (at least those of us who are paying attention) that pharmaceutical drugs have side-effects.

Do you know why that is?

It is because pharmaceutical drugs are made from the same "base" material - the remaining waste product "sludge" of the oil distillation process. After removing everything from oil that is profitable - for fuel, plastics, etc. - the "unprofitable" leftover "sludge" is taken to chemical labs where pharmaceutical drugs are made from/with it. Ironically, pharmaceutical drugs seem to have become the greatest profitable thing to come from oil.

The way God designed our bodies - we are unable to properly process this "base" material - which is why pharmaceutical drugs have side-effects - and, why those side-effects can be so drastic as to actually be worse than what they are being prescribed for.

The correct solution for any health ailment is not a pharmaceutical drug (one of the great deceptions of our day); rather, it is a 'natural remedy' - "God's way" - pharmaceutical drugs are the "devil's way" - they never actually cure anything - they are only a "band-aid" that cover up or temporarily reduce symptoms. And, in the silent background, they do more harm than good.

Before you know it, you are taking yet another drug - and another - and another.

And, you ask yourself "Why am I having all of these issues whereby I must take drugs?"...

Well - more-times-than-not - the new issues are caused by the other drugs you are already taking.

If you will do some research to understand how God actually intended the body to work - you will find that "man's science" is much more detrimental to your body than 'natural remedy'.

I am not saying that no good can come from 'modern medical science'; however, it is "bad news" when it comes to some things where good health is concerned - especially if you take pharmaceutical drugs for an extended period of time.

Now - I am not telling you to simply stop taking those pills - I do not even know what they are. But, the one thing I am absolutely sure of is - if you will put your trust in God to provide the cure you need - and, learn all you can about the true nature of things in this crazy world - and, do your best to go the route of 'natural remedy' and not "man's science" - you will probably discover that there are more-and-better options available to you than you ever realized.

You may discover that "some people will never be thin" is just a lie you have swallowed. Nothing is impossible with God. Believe in Him - not man.

Learn how to "do health" according to what God did - the real and natural way it actually works for good-and-proper health.

Yes - I know that we have so many things against us - from depleted soil to industrial chemicals - and other things.

The pharmaceutical drugs people take tend to prevent their body from extracting fat from fat stores of the body.

This a big part of why folks who take a handful of pharmaceutical drugs every day cannot seem to lose weight.

We need to trust in God and follow His recipe for natural health. He has the answers. We should listen to Him.
The pills are not prescribed. Just regular antacids. And that is all I take. And for my age, that's pretty good. And I am certainly no fan of drugs. You don't need to tell me how dangerous they can be.



You do not have to starve yourself - you simply must understand what is necessary for you to give up.

Eat the right things and you can eat all you want while losing weight at the same time.

The problem is we like to eat things that are bad for us - and, make us gain weight.

Eating habits are important - when we eat is just as important as what we eat.

Do not blame God and do not blame others. Be Real. Deal with it honestly.

Part of that is understanding "what really is" - and, how it affects you.

It will help you to know what to do about every issue you have.
So when I said not thin, I didn't mean obese. And I was making less of a point about my situation. I was using my situation as an example.





The one thing in this world that there is more of than anything else in the world - deception.

Almost everything you have ever been taught in your life is predicated on some kind/form of a lie.

Much of "modern science" is not real science - it is "made up" for the sake of an agenda and for profit.

The idea that "it is not possible for them" is based on a lie. For as long as you believe it, it will be true.

You think you are helpless to make a difference - but, it is not true. Folks are not as helpless as they think.

What is required is having the right knowledge - making the right decisions - and, having the fortitude to "stick with it" and carry them out.

I am not saying it is easy - it is not. However, it is what is required...
I can agree mostly, I think. If I doubted medicine before, after COVID I don't trust a doctors office that I walk in to anymore.

Do not be offended. Do not feel insulted. Do not get angry. Do not feel ashamed.

Instead, get educated on "what really is" - so that you can work toward the good-and-proper answer you need/seek.

The answers are there - you must "do the research" to find them. Otherwise, you are just being tossed about by deception.

Most important of all - trust in God for the things you do not yet understand...
I think you misunderstood my post, or took more seriously than was meant. But I'm still going to end with saying some people are never going to be a size 2.
 

CarriePie

Well-known member
Jan 7, 2024
2,549
1,696
113
You know, a man being thin has never really been my priority list for a spouse.
Same here. It's not even on my list at all 🤷🏻‍♀️


But here's the deal, some people will never be thin. It's not possible for them. They are never going to fit into a size 2 no matter how much they starve themselves.
That's so true!

I know of people who don't even want to be a size 2. And I'm personally thankful for that, I prefer seeing a variety of people in the world.
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
3,303
1,519
113
Let me tell you a true story...

At a family gathering, my older brother made an offhand remark about his wife being overweight - to which, my grandmother said to him:

"Now, Scott - you married her that way!"

(not his real name)

There was nothing he could say to that - it was true - she was definitely overweight when he married her.

I decided right-then-and-there that I would never allow myself to marry "a fat woman" (to put it succinctly).

That was many years ago. But, I still have every intent to hold myself to the promise I made to myself that day.

Now - if I married a woman today - we might both be fat-and-happy sitting in our rocking chairs on the front porch many years later...

Nonetheless: "That would be then but this is now."

I never said I would stop loving a woman if she gained some weight. But, I will say that I do not want the relationship to start out that way.

And, that is one of the points you were making - that [most] men do not "look for" [a large woman] to start a romantic relationship with.

And, it is normal - God intended for all of us to be 'thin-and-trim' - it is the healthy state of the human body.

It is perfectly natural and normal for a man to desire to have and "look for" a 'thin-and-trim' woman for a wife.

You posed this:


And then answered it with this:


And then illustrated it with this:



As far as I am concerned, you were simply "telling it like it is"...

~

I would like to suggest that it would have been better if you had started your initial post with the story about the bikers rather than just writing about the end result of your thoughts on the experience. You know - give some context - so that folks might better be able to understand where you are coming from...
i appreciate your true, diplomatic & simplistic analyzation which is point on. i have always been someone to say what i mean & mean what i say in the fewest words. i'm like the guy at the business meeting that is the quietest then i speak 1 sentence & everyone looks with amazement & says, "how did you think of that one"? no, i'm not a big shot business man. but i am a good idea man. so in all this girls, please never think i am badgering, deriding or disparaging women, because i am not. on this Christian site, more than anyplace i know, i would think that we all can converse on semi-personal issues with the utmost professionalism, kindness, honesty & compassion. there may even be men & women on CC who trust each other enough to talk about quite personal subjects, after all, men need women's point of view & vise versa. GaryA, you speak as a pro psychologist! it is refreshing to read a post like yours that is just plain simply honest & true. in america, for too long, lot's of people have allowed themselves to become weak willed partly because of the constant catering to "feeling sorry". i assent to your suggestion about the initial sentence of the bikers. so girls, please understand the truth here without any implications of anything not in context. & girls, know this: i had the worst time finding dates because of my thick glasses i wore. i was born legally blind. guys didn't even want to be my friends. they were embarrassed to hang around with me. i know all to well & for to long what it is to be rejected. & you also know my brothers & i were constantly beaten & rejected at home. praise the Lord that lot's of us here learn from others.