Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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Hey all. I think its been about a year since I've been here, and I'm honestly relieved to see so many familiar names along with all of the newer ones. I can't promise that I'll be here regularly or anything like that, But it really is nice to come back and check up on this place. It always feels like home. I've missed you guys <3
 
The avatar is familiar, but I'm blanking on the nick.... =^.^=

Howdy and welcome back. We're still slightly nuts, but fun to be around. :cool:
 
Lynx I remember you!! Fairly clearly, we had a few conversations but like I said it was a year ago or so.

Not sure how to remind you of who I am though,...I was 17, always trying to sound mature for all of the adults here Lol

Regardless, its good to see you:)
 
Anyone else have those times where they feel lonely and like a complete freak who has no clue how to be normal and live a normal life? Or am I as much of a freak as my untrustworthy feelings would have be believe?
 
I felt like that for several years.
Now I am not lonely, as I have a friend who is almost too eager to spend time with me,
but I still don't feel normal, whatever normal may be
 
i've always felt like an oddball. teen years were pretty lonely because i felt like i didn't belong. now? i just own my weirdness :)
 
Anyone else have those times where they feel lonely and like a complete freak who has no clue how to be normal and live a normal life? Or am I as much of a freak as my untrustworthy feelings would have be believe?

You're not a freak.

I may not understand *exactly* how you feel, but I can absolutely identify with feeling like the outsider, the weird one, the one who isn't wanted or understood by the crowd around me. It's miserable to feel lonely in a room full of people. Sometimes it's all in my head, sometimes it's not. Either way it feels the same.

I don't think there's a cure for it...there are things that help get past the feeling, though, for a time. Prayer. Refocusing on what's important. Doing something special for yourself. Talking about it. Sincere encouragement from a trusted source. Accepting that social norms are what they are and that despite how it appears, someone else in the room probably feels much like you do. Accepting that it's ok not to be like everyone else, even when it would be easier.

This probably isn't very helpful and I maybe should just stick with some cliche Christianese answer. Keep your eyes on the Lord, or Nobody will be lonely in heaven, or... I don't actually know what the proper Christian response is, so I'll just say one more thing and then hush-

We love you, quirks and all. And some of us understand how you're feeling, some of us might not, but we care about you and personally, I feel...blessed, humbled, honored?...when folks share something real like what you've said. It seems to make the world a little less huge and scary.

Argh, I can't seem to stop typing.
 

i have been eagerly waiting to hear your answer about the flowers. : D

like many, many fascinations of mine, i had an opportunity to go to a restaurant when i was travelling for work that featured a multi-course meal featuring floral additions, as well as many commonly foraged items. it was excessively neat. paired with that, i have always loved rose and lavender flavored teas and foods, so it was an easy curiosity which turned to my usual intense fascination.

have you had an opportunity to experiment much with flowers in your baking? or just try some in food/desserts?
I haven't really. I'd love to do a sugared violet cheesecake though. And rose, and nasturtium. I have done a dark chocolate, lavender and blueberry...which sold well. I'm thinking again about another lavender cheesecake.
The trouble is dual for me: locally sourced AND from approved sources (actual businesses because of food safety).

i can't forage because of the track back problems.
 
Anyone else have those times where they feel lonely and like a complete freak who has no clue how to be normal and live a normal life? Or am I as much of a freak as my untrustworthy feelings would have be believe?
Yup, I rent a booth in that space a lot.
 
SECOND BREAKFAST.
just kidding :)
First and only breakfast.
which is
......
drumrolllll.

Breakfast bowl:: Spinach, Italian sausage, egg.

Honey crisp flavored apple juice,
Ba- Da- Bing.
--
Green Juice
C-Boost.
--

Swish, splish, splash, I'm taking a bath.
 
Lunch today: Tuscan chicken, polenta, sauteed zucchini, berry iced tea.

No pics cuz it's already in my tum-meh.

I don't eat. I dine.
 
Lunch today: Tuscan chicken, polenta, sauteed zucchini, berry iced tea.

No pics cuz it's already in my tum-meh.

I don't eat. I dine.

I tried making polenta from scratch years ago... It was a recipe I saw on TV with these very elegant-looking polenta squares and then you were supposed to absolutely smother them with this horribly sinful, decadent homemade mushroom cream sauce made out of garlic, heavy whipping cream and 3 different cheeses (parmesan, cream cheese, and Swiss.)

I made a mess of the polenta "squares". It was more like cornmeal stew.

But man... that sauce. It was fantastic. I wound up kind of just eating it like soup with some of the cornmeal-mush stirred in.

I'm pretty sure that sauce upped my body fat percentage by at least 10%.
 
Wow... I think that everybody decided to jump on my last nerve after Thursday... Or maybe Thursday was just just the day I snapped and had enough of it, and the incident on Thursday was just what tipped the barrel finally.
The ONLY person who hasn't tried to tell me I need to calm down about people invading my personal space, OR tried to excuse people's behavior when they do, is my sister-in-law. Personal space invasion is a HUGE problem for me. I can't trust people who think they can just do whatever they want to with my things, or my stewardships. Then people who do that, wonder why I push them away from me, or "don't like" them.
Dude, I'm a mom, I'm going to have a problem when you take my daughter from me, and haul off with her to WHO KNOWS WHERE, and I have no idea where she is, until someone ELSE that you passed her to, brings her back to me. I don't like that you took her, I don't like that you pass her around... Is that something I need to calm down about? I don't think so!
No, you're not allowed to hold my new baby either when he gets here, not unless you can sit still, and YOU MAY NOT PASS HIM AROUND!!!
 
I tried making polenta from scratch years ago... It was a recipe I saw on TV with these very elegant-looking polenta squares and then you were supposed to absolutely smother them with this horribly sinful, decadent homemade mushroom cream sauce made out of garlic, heavy whipping cream and 3 different cheeses (parmesan, cream cheese, and Swiss.)

I made a mess of the polenta "squares". It was more like cornmeal stew.

But man... that sauce. It was fantastic. I wound up kind of just eating it like soup with some of the cornmeal-mush stirred in.

I'm pretty sure that sauce upped my body fat percentage by at least 10%.

it's funny that you tell this story, because when i first learned to make polenta, i didn't realize there was fried polenta triangle AND polenta "mush" (for lack of a better word). i made it with two recipes, with one being the "firm" kind, and the other being the softer mush. i love them both.

but sheesh, k, i would give my left arm for a plate of fried polenta. sigh. or fried lumpia (i've been craving that too) or homemade pan fried potstickers.

yeah, that's what i'm hungry for. i need a genie. : )

Lunch today: Tuscan chicken, polenta, sauteed zucchini, berry iced tea.

No pics cuz it's already in my tum-meh.

I don't eat. I dine.

sounds yummy. me? protein shake with matcha and coconut milk. no tylenol, though!

my dinner plans are looking up though. i've been craving lengua and carnita tacos for like days now. : )