I say that we need some new watchdogs to preserve the sanctity of this place. We used to have a Lynx around here but he's now grown fat and lazy. Plus he's eaten all my tuna ..
Oh and lady, you gotta sleep.![]()
That can only happen if you have had a lot of coffee. So, do you have the world's largest stock of coffee at your home?![]()
I don't like the phrase "God only gives you as much as He knows you can handle."
I don't think it's Biblical, and I don't think it's true.
I have been given many things in my life that I could not handle. I can think of many things that could happen in the future that I know I would not be able to handle. At all.
If I could handle everything, why would I need to run to God? Why would I need to give Him any of that burden if He's only giving me what I can carry on my own?
Wow that's a lot all at once Violakat.
I remember I went coyote calling one evening and was planning on coming home later that night.
Once there I left my ignition on and ran the battery dead so I was stranded out in the woods for 3 days with only a couple lemons for food.
3 days because that was the soonest someone happened along way out there to offer me a jump.
When I got to the nearest payphone I called in late to work and my supervisor told me to call my sister.
I said ok thanks and figured I'd just call her when I got home.
I was living with my dad at the time and when I walked in the door my dad was sitting there waiting for me with a concerned look on his face.
He told me my mom had died that weekend. (they were divorced)
My mom never called my dads house but there was a message on the machine for me to go see my mom at the hospital.
All I could think was she must have called to say goodbye and hoped I'd come see her.
And I'm thinking, This is the weekend I had end up getting stuck in the woods.
I wonder if anybody got to hold her hand as she slipped away.
I'd probably like that if I was dying
Obviously God kept me away that weekend for some reason.
At her funeral I'm looking around and see everybody crying.
And in my mind I'm thinking, this is just what needs to be done, this the process.
And everyone is crying except me.
I was so emotionally removed I couldn't even cry at my own mom's funeral.
I'm facing my dad possibly dying soon as he's in poor health and will probably shut it out then too because talking about it just makes me relive it instead of getting past it.
I probably shouldn't have typed this out except to say
I can relate and when things get overwhelming...
Sometimes ya just gotta cry for awhile Violakat. I hope you feel better.
...
Now for the negative... 0_0 How are folks raising their kids these days?! Most of those videos were horrible...
My take? Don't lie (at all) to your kids, and teach them some things like forgiveness, coping, etc... I mean...
PS... Don't listen to talk show hosts and the like...
I watched a film last night that no Christian circle would recommend (I will refrain from naming the title to avoid any piles of stones that might be thrown for my choice.)
However, I have always been interested in stories that give raw portrayals of the human psyche, and particularly its breakdown, because I am always interested in whether or not God wills us as a society to work on repairing that psyche, or if we have to accept that there is a point of no return, leaving us to somehow adjust to the aftermath.
The movie was a blatant (albeit unrealistic) portrait of what it may take for some human beings to go through in order to understand another person they have judged prematurely. It was also an exploration in how much the human mind can (or cannot) take.
One particular sequence, in which an inmate charms and takes in a stray mouse as his only companion, reminded me of an inmate I used to write. He told me that he had once captured and attempted to domesticate a rat that had wandered into his cell, and it became his best (and only) friend. He kept it on a leash so that it couldn't run away.
It was such a long time ago, I can't remember what happened, if someone took it from him and killed it or if it died by natural means, but somehow, his beloved friend was taken from him and the grief and anguish he experienced and expressed was as great as you or I would have over the loss of a human friend.
I wonder if this is why God makes us go through some of the things that we do--in order to truly understand (and empathize) with other people.
I wish I had someone to talk to right now about everything I'm thinking and feeling. Someone who wouldn't judge me or what I'd have to say, because it would be truly raw and unabashed... Someone who would just let me talk, and would actually have something meaningful (instead of correctional) to say back. Someone who has thought about the same things and wished to share their own thoughts on the matter.
It's this time of year, and these kinds of moments, that I miss my ex-husband the most, because we would have had a raw and honest conversation about this movie without any restraints or judgments.
I remember one year we had strung Christmas lights all over our apartment as if they were stars in the sky, and one night, lying under all those brightly colored lights, we had a long discussion over whether, if someone committed suicide at a public wishing well, once it was cleaned up, would people still come there to make wishes? Of course they would.
In college, a local video rental store was held up and two employees murdered (via execution-style shootings). My boyfriend at the time was an EMT, and while he hadn't been on for that call, his partner had taken the call. When the store reopened (business as usual), we paid a visit and amidst all the students bustling by, my boyfriend pointed out to me all the bloodstains in the carpet that they had been unable to wash out. Because, of course, the main concern was to get the store up and running and back in business again.
It's these times when I miss my ex-husband the most. Because we had conversations I couldn't have with anyone else... raw and most importantly, real, and I didn't have to worry about whether or not he thought I was being Christian enough in what I had to say. He just let me talk, and he had an entire set of his own thoughts to contribute when I was done, because he had already thought about such things as well. I miss that so much.
You can't hide from God what you're thinking or feeling so I've always believed in just spilling it all anyways and then allowing Him to work through it all with you as He wills.
Sometimes though, in order to let it out, you need to have a safe guide to lead the way.
Ken,
Thank you so much for your post. I really do appreciate it. I'm debating on whether or not to post some of what I'm really thinking about. It would take a couple of pages to do so... I will try to make this short.
In the movie I watched, a man is imprisoned for 20 years by an unknown captor in a private institution. During this time, he is framed for his ex-wife's murder and his toddler daughter is adopted into another family. His detention is completely devoid of human contact and during this time, he proceeds to: draw a face on a pillowcase in his own blood as a companion; hallucinates a person who isn't really there as some sort of human connection; tries to commit suicide but is prevented form doing so; befriends a mouse and her litter of babies as a source of living contacts... only to have them served to him as his dinner on a covered silver plate by his captor.
One day he is suddenly let go, and while he gets his revenge on many who ran the facility where he was held, he also falls in love with a woman young enough to be his daughter and discovers who his captor really was. Many years ago, when he was young, he witnessed an act of abuse between two family members and began a rumor that resulted in the family leaving the country. The father eventually attempted to kill every member of the family and himself, but his son survived, and lived to be the one acting out this revenge on the man who started the rumor.
The main character of this story had made a judgment on this family and indirectly ruined them. Now, of course what was going on was horribly wrong, but what stands out so strongly was that he labeled and condemned them without an ounce of compassion or empathy, which is something all of us do to others around us.
And then you come to find out... that the person who has done all this to him was seeking revenge, yes. But he was also showing him what it was like to be in that situation. You see, the woman young enough to be his daughter whom he has become very involved with... actually IS his daughter, the one person he had chosen to live for during his incarceration, and now he was faced with unknowingly having an inappropriate relationship with her. Which is exactly what he had judged this family for and talked about them mercilessly instead of trying to lend any aid to their situation. The film concluded with this man breaking off all contact with his daughter for good, and as his own punishment, chooses to go back into solitary confinement, presumably, for the rest of his life.
This was the best movie, by far, that I have seen in years, if not ever.
My mind was stretched in all sorts of directions, because many of the inmates I had written had been through all the same situations.
But the resounding theme this film left me with was: What if God put us all into the situations for which we so quickly judge and condemn other people?
Now, if all this were true then this predetermined outcome would HAVE to be planned by God. What other...intelligence would be able to put that together? And if it's the case where this outcome was planned, then my birth, my death, and my very salvation would have to be predestined. That's Calvinist principle isn't it? If it is, then it's also a little depressing. Knowing that nothing I do would change my own course unless the course was designed to change. However - i am convinced I'd be exactly where I am even if I got my wish for a do over.
I'm having some second thoughts about predestination; the ole paradox of human free will. I think the better word might be predeterminism. That's as if to say that if you did have that genie moment when you were able to go back and get a do-over - even knowing what you know now with the wisdom you've collected with time - that the outcome would be the same. I didn't necessarily believe in predestination, but now maybe I'm understanding that it's actually true? Even if I go back and do it all over, I'd end up in the same place. Like - I don't think I'd make the very same mistakes or take the absolute same paths, but the "new" mistakes I'd make and new paths I took would place me back at the same finish.
That's a little disconcerting.... The other day ....who was it ......Rachel20? Anyway, the topic of forks in the road came up; which road was taken was discussed. Now i'm wondering if these paths ALL take us to an equivocal end. Even if we took what we thought of as a chaotic meandering through the woods we would end up in the same place.
Now, if all this were true then this predetermined outcome would HAVE to be planned by God. What other...intelligence would be able to put that together? And if it's the case where this outcome was planned, then my birth, my death, and my very salvation would have to be predestined. That's Calvinist principle isn't it? If it is, then it's also a little depressing. Knowing that nothing I do would change my own course unless the course was designed to change. However - i am convinced I'd be exactly where I am even if I got my wish for a do over.