R
Raine
Guest
I've learned that I am allergic to long posts and walls of text. Right when I see them I steer away. I know I should be sleeping but this cough is horrid and won't leave me alone.
It's growing on me.
That's what I needed tooA beard?
I had to heavily caffeinate to make the drive from Longview to San Antonio. Now I am exhausted, but I can't sleep. Anyone care to come hit me on the head with a large hammer?
I did a really dumb thing. For once I'm going to keep it to myself, but it's been nagging at me and I think I've got it worked out finally. One problem solved.
I made peace with my mom, I hope, and reached out to my sister as well...results uncertain at this point in time.
Tomorrow I'll get to take care of a whole bunch of things that have been weighing me down and making me feel sick and anxious.
I met with the pastor a little while ago and told him everything I've shared here recently. He hugged me and prayed the most beautiful prayer and the whole thing totally wrecked my makeup. It was beyond awesome.
What has helped me develop personally & spiritually, I shouldn't have to justify or defend. That's between God and I. I now know what sorts of things I need to keep to myself, or share with small circles. Nicky the introvert is introverting.
Cristen, that is seriously heroic and awesome! Well done.![]()
Sleeping & dreaming is like when you use to defragment files on your computer. Compartmentalize, clean clutter of thoughts, memories, feelings, events of the past day. Put it all into order. Balance the equilibrium. Prepare your mind for the next day to work efficiently.
I'm not sure what I believe. As much as I want to step out in my faith, there will always be these voices telling what I should follow. There will always be someone with a different opinion about how to go about it. It just drives me nuts knowing there are these multiple paths leading somewhere else.
I feel like I'm being shoved against a wall and there is now way to fight back.
So much chaos in my home and family right now. I'm worried and my heart hurts. I'm trying NOT to worry, because I know God is in control..but still. Ouch.
So much chaos in my home and family right now. I'm worried and my heart hurts. I'm trying NOT to worry, because I know God is in control..but still. Ouch.
Thanks.
The more I want to keep a normal sleep schedule, the more I end up screwing it up. Bleh.
woke up this morning, flicked on the tv to this music video. loved the video, loved the song. Puts me in a great mood
[video=youtube;PIh2xe4jnpk]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIh2xe4jnpk[/video]
It is a catchy tune. Glad it put you in a great mood! I love songs that do that!!
Went to church last night.. only to find out one of the pastors in training died on Saturday and yesterday was his funeral. I'm kinda sad about it because I barely knew him but he welcomed me to the church from the first day I went there and continuously prayed for me.
It was strange without him, when ever our pastor asks questions he was the one to answer, when he asked if there were questions, again this person would be the first to ask a question. Yesterday when the pastor asked questions nobody was there to answer him, nobody was there to ask him questions. So he ended the prayer meeting earlier than usual.
Things are getting worse with my brother. Everyone told me I was worrying too much, but so far all of my hunches have proven accurate. I'm not stupid, I know what's going on. It wasn't that long ago I was a teenager myself, and he thinks he can hide stuff from me? He's slipping away right in front of me and I feel helpless. At this rate, I expect that within the next year he will have gotten her pregnant, moved out, and stopped going to church.
His is youth pastor is a joke and I'm actually glad he's NOT getting advice from him. My dad isn't doing or saying ANYTHING, leaving my mom to shoulder everything and look like the bad guy. The only counsel my brother is seeking is from my best friend and her fiancé, but he's conveniently filtering any advice through the lens of his desire because he's ignoring all of the consequences they endured and only focusing on the fact that they're now engaged (which must mean they did everything right).
Its enough to make me want to scream.