SINGLE DIFFICULTIES, WHAT ARE THEY?

[Lanolin]

electric blankets might work for those with cold beds...or hot water bottle...or cat.

I just put extra blankets on the bed, wear and extra layer though I dont live in a really cold climate...those further south say they just live in their puffy jackets/sleeping bags.

if you have to pay extra for heating most people would rather spend it on hot food than starve and have extra heat. This is where an energy effcient home (or passive solar house) becomes important...!

 

[GiveThanks]

Haha wonderfully for me, I have such a great sense of humour.

The world is getting stranger and stranger and stranger by the minute.

A woman says one of her difficulties of single life is carring her heavy shopping bags, and people stop to pay so much attention to it. From advise on how to carry my bags, asking me what planet I'm from, speculating whether i have a medical condition, and telling me that men who go to the market and carry shopping bags dont exist haha. Oh my gosh this is too funny

Oh yes and the part about me being from a planet where women did not work so guess I too dont have a job. And not only that, Im also mean spirited.

"I must carry my bags and not wait around for any one to do it." Thats truly profound. Can't say the thought had ever occured to me.

 

[DeeGee]

Interesting topic. I only have a couple of single friends. Most everyone I am close to is married or coupled. So, whenever I want to do something (concert, play, any event), it has to be alone or as part of a group. It's not easy to get my married women friends to schedule an event with just me.

I travel quite a bit. I've always traveled alone, by others' standards, but I traveled with my dog(s), which, by my standards was not alone. Now, they have all passed away, and I won't likely have another anytime soon. So, I really do travel alone now. It feels so very different from the past three decades of traveling with my Keeshonden. It feels a lot more burdensome having to cart around my luggage by myself, even though I had a LOT MORE bags and baggage when I traveled with the dogs. There were times when I would put my dog in the crate, put the crate on the luggage cart, and maneuver through the hotel. I always garnered attention. Well, my dogs did. LOL

I think that long-term singleness provides a perspective that makes a lot of people uneasy because it seems unpalatable for most humans. So, hardly anyone really wants to talk about that. It's true, as a single Christian, you're expected to never think or talk about sex. Yet, sexuality is almost always a part of human life. What do we do with it? Yet, I know married people who are "sexually deprived," as well (at least according to their laments). So, does having less sex than you'd like compare to having no sex at all? I don't know. LOL

My viewpoint is: God has not brought me out of singleness. He has a plan for me as I am. I will be content. It doesn't mean I don't have desires, dreams, or hopes. It just means I will focus on today and what He has for me today. And I'll do it all again tomorrow, if I'm still here. There is work to keep me occupied every day and not just the paying work, but all manner of opportunities to fill my life and help others. I desire to do that, for God's glory.

 

[Lynx]

Haha wonderfully for me, I have such a great sense of humour.

The world is getting stranger and stranger and stranger by the minute.

A woman says one of her difficulties of single life is carring her heavy shopping bags, and people stop to pay so much attention to it. From advise on how to carry my bags, asking me what planet I'm from, speculating whether i have a medical condition, and telling me that men who go to the market and carry shopping bags dont exist haha. Oh my gosh this is too funny

Oh yes and the part about me being from a planet where women did not work so guess I too dont have a job. And not only that, Im also mean spirited.

"I must carry my bags and not wait around for any one to do it." Thats truly profound. Can't say the thought had ever occured to me.

One question that I notice nobody has yet asked... How far are you carrying these puppies? Do you have to walk three miles and carry your groceries home?

 

[Lanolin]

I have travelled alone but I dont really recommend it. But sometimes you cannot coordinate schedules with someone else all the time. You have to be savvy and not get lost. That is why GPS can help a lot, or stick to known routes.

Jesus was alone in the wilderness before he started his ministry and that time was needed to get victory from temptation...because if he could do that on his own then he could handle ANYTHING life threw at him. He then asked 12 friends to go with him, so he actually wasnt alone.

 

[Lanolin]

Haha wonderfully for me, I have such a great sense of humour.

The world is getting stranger and stranger and stranger by the minute.

A woman says one of her difficulties of single life is carring her heavy shopping bags, and people stop to pay so much attention to it. From advise on how to carry my bags, asking me what planet I'm from, speculating whether i have a medical condition, and telling me that men who go to the market and carry shopping bags dont exist haha. Oh my gosh this is too funny

Oh yes and the part about me being from a planet where women did not work so guess I too dont have a job. And not only that, Im also mean spirited.

"I must carry my bags and not wait around for any one to do it." Thats truly profound. Can't say the thought had ever occured to me.

well we dont know if you are joking or not!

what woman just expects someone else to carry her bags for her all the time? I dont know anyone who does that. I work in retail and dont see women expecting men to carry their shopping bags for them. And I see HUNDREDS of shoppers.

 

[Lanolin]

we dont even give out bags to customers because people are expected to bring their own when they go shopping.
If people ask, we might give them a paper bag but only for lots of items. They have two hands.
If I am buying a lot of items, I'd put them in a box. Or tray. I wouldnt use a bag.

One time I bought a heap of books, just put them in a box, the box in a trolley and wheeled them to my car.
I am not so stupid that I would buy items too heavy to carry and walk home with them. If it was way to heavy I would pay for extra delivery.

honestly it makes you look foolish and helpless if you complain all the time about basic things you can reasonably do yourself.

 

[Lanolin]

if you are disabled, you can get a permit that lets you park closer to pick up and drop off points. And yes if you are disabled, you may need to rely on a caregiver to give you an extra hand. But the thing is that you also need to take responsibility and do what you CAN do. Make it easier on youself

I think accessibilty has become a lot easier for disabled people over the years when people start realising how hard it can be eg reaching plug points, having a shower, going up stairs etc. When you in a wheel chair everything is different.

But that is not really a single difficulty. Life can be difficult on all fronts if you are disabled.

 

[1ofthem]

Let's see the single problem is in the winter it's cold and no one to warm up to. Those sheets are chilly when you first get into bed and takes a little time to warm up alone...

Someone was talking about not understanding taking a shower every day and believe me I was one of those people and washed my hair every day too. I couldn't understand why old people stunk some times. Well now that I have hit 67 and I would say probably started as soon as 63 or 64. I don't move like I used to and I can't stand for as long a period as I used to and In the last year getting in and out of the tall bath tub has started to become a problem and I don't feel very stable standing in the same tall tub. So the squeaky clean person I used to be has gone to not being able to take that daily bath and it was like a big light bulb that went off as to understanding why older people don't always smell as fresh. I don't like it cause I want to be like my younger self and that's the reason we are putting in a second bathroom in the new home in TN with a walk in shower and a bench so I can be more like my younger self and it won't get done soon enough for me.

Must write a note to my builder cause it was supposed to be finished before the First of the year and it's not done yet. Sorry I went off on a tangent that's not a single person problem that's a getting older person problem...

Hi @JesusLives .

Good to see you posting.

You always have such good and insightful posts.

 

[DeeGee]

I believe that the "daily bathing" thing, in general, only came about as the population was able to build bathrooms with indoor plumbing and/or was able to afford individual living spaces where bathrooms did not have to be shared. And that could even be less than 100 years ago in many areas. I knew relatives and others who had no indoor plumbing, even in the 1960's. Baths were once or twice weekly, and sometimes done in a galvanized aluminum tub, trough, or other smaller receptacle. AND in much of the world today, there is zero opportunity or place to routinely bathe. I think most of us don't really appreciate how blessed we are in the area of cleanliness, even if we don't shower every day.

 

[JesusLives]

Hi @JesusLives .

Good to see you posting.

You always have such good and insightful posts.

Thanks, I have been a busy person with the move and getting settled into the new Tennessee home. Waiting on that new bathroom because there is also a nice large walk in closet being built that will help unload the third bedroom that looks more like a storage unit than a sewing room that it is suppose to be. Once closet is finished it will be filled and I can set up that sewing room that I am looking forward to using.

I have missed not being on CC as much so I try to pop in once in a while to see what is going on. When something of interest hits then I post. Thanks for your kind remarks. Hope the new year is a good one for you.

 

[Lanolin]

I believe that the "daily bathing" thing, in general, only came about as the population was able to build bathrooms with indoor plumbing and/or was able to afford individual living spaces where bathrooms did not have to be shared. And that could even be less than 100 years ago in many areas. I knew relatives and others who had no indoor plumbing, even in the 1960's. Baths were once or twice weekly, and sometimes done in a galvanized aluminum tub, trough, or other smaller receptacle. AND in much of the world today, there is zero opportunity or place to routinely bathe. I think most of us don't really appreciate how blessed we are in the area of cleanliness, even if we don't shower every day.

I totally appreciate it...water is life.
Its no accident that John the baptist went round baptising everyone to prepare them for Jesus.

I lived in shared a accomodation (with shared showers, no bath) but always want to come home for a bath.
For me bath time is God time.

 

[Lanolin]

I think the dificulty with being single (and not difficulties of life in general) is one with one word thats been talked about in psychology a lot...BOUNDARIES


Not I dont really know if men experience this differently, though I am supposing it is not primarily a gender based thing, but single women WILL need to say a clear NO if someone tries to violate their boundaries.

Whether its personal space or 'whats mine is yours' or social interactions. Nobody has a right to invade your privacy and steal your identity, or control what you choose to say or do or even think. Because nobody else is you. You are you.

Guarding your heart aginst those who want to break it is also something that can be difficult for singles. If you are married, you can safely say you have given it to your spouse or they have stolen it or whatever) But for single, you are in charge of your heart.

I recommend offering it to God for safekeeping, as we are commanded to Love God with ALL our hearts. But in the world people are always asking for pieces of it. Can be very demanding!

 

[Lanolin]

People might think being a christian who is single means you will never get sexually harassed.

They are quite wrong about that. Also, it doesnt just happen in workplaces, It happens in homes and schools...at any age.

Marriage doesnt necessarily protect you either...and you can be assualted by your own spouse. But for singles (especially women) its something you are always up against.

 

[LadyMay]

For me, I have found the difficulty is in gentlemen not always knowing how to just be friendly and treat a lady as a friend. Some approach with intent for sure but you have to take time to get to know someone, seek God, pray it through and not just jump straight in to see if you are their future spouse!!

The other side is men not approaching in fear that you are after marriage from word go and fearful of any communication that makes you think you have a chance with them if they are not into you.

What has happened to good old friendship? Getting to know without pressure? Maybe I am old school but if a man has not expressed his interest in a 'without doubt' way, I don't read into anything!

 

[Lanolin]

For me, I have found the difficulty is in gentlemen not always knowing how to just be friendly and treat a lady as a friend. Some approach with intent for sure but you have to take time to get to know someone, seek God, pray it through and not just jump straight in to see if you are their future spouse!!

The other side is men not approaching in fear that you are after marriage from word go and fearful of any communication that makes you think you have a chance with them if they are not into you.

What has happened to good old friendship? Getting to know without pressure? Maybe I am old school but if a man has not expressed his interest in a 'without doubt' way, I don't read into anything!

amen tell me about it

I had this problem with a workmate from 20 years ago! he was STILL trying to ask me out years later and insinuating that we were 'together'. I am friendly because that is my nature and next minute you think I want to go to bed with you? Hello!

Even if...the guy is like 20 years older and married! And divorced, Or has a daughter my age. What is up with that.