Single And In Need of Advice

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Aug 12, 2011
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#22
OP: you may not like my advice, but here it goes.

It comes down to this (in my opinion): who do I love more? The Lord or myself?
 
Feb 22, 2025
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#23
OP: you may not like my advice, but here it goes.

It comes down to this (in my opinion): who do I love more? The Lord or myself?
This is exactly what I would've said. It's also the answer to a lot of other questions and "dilemmas" I see voiced here.
 
Sep 17, 2018
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#24
I understand it’s a cross but it looks like a blood cross, straight out of a vampire movie.

By the way you wrote about the person you are seeing in your opening post, you made seem like you don’t believe in demons.

I’m just going based on experience, when it comes to wasting time, trying to get a non-believer to believe. Spent a decade trying; it just seemed like she continued to come in and out of my life after every man she left me for broke up with her. We never kissed or did anything sexual; I was simply there hoping she would come to Christ and never did.

You probably have done all these things. I’m not saying you aren’t a believer. We all have been persecuted and or oppressed in some way or another as believers.

I have been even told that i couldn’t read the Bible anymore, for almost a decade. I’d have to privately read it when that person wasn’t around.

I’ve never been threatened to be stoned but I’ve been threatened to be stabbed and shot, after gang members pulled a knife and gun on me.
I never once thought it looked like anything out of a vampire movie. It's just black letters forming the shape of a cross on a red background. I'm no fan of vampires, but red and black is my favorite combo. Others may not see things the way you do. I think he should keep his avatar, as is, if it's what he prefers.
 

ATSTD

Active member
Feb 21, 2025
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www.lnk.bio
#25
I never once thought it looked like anything out of a vampire movie. It's just black letters forming the shape of a cross on a red background. I'm no fan of vampires, but red and black is my favorite combo. Others may not see things the way you do. I think he should keep his avatar, as is, if it's what he prefers.
You’re entitled to your opinion
 

Mem

Senior Member
Sep 23, 2014
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#27
I don't get the "I need to love someone, but I'm not sure if I can love him, or her..." or the "I need someone to love me, you know, to close the gap that Jesus has left in that concern..."
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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#28
I don't get the "I need to love someone, but I'm not sure if I can love him, or her..." or the "I need someone to love me, you know, to close the gap that Jesus has left in that concern..."
I think it's kind of like how when you've only had 3 hours of sleep, so you substitute caffeine. You feel very tired, but it's nowhere near time to sleep, so sometimes your body misinterprets the extreme lack of energy as sharp hunger pains. But when you eat it doesn't satisfy you.

Sometimes people want something but they don't know what they want, so they try what they have been told will satisfy them. It won't, but some people keep trying it over and over and over because they don't know anything else to do.
 
Mar 10, 2025
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#29
my thought is that you may be the one to convert her. calmly speak the word of Jesus to her, but 1st, practice what you are going to say. reminds me of a longtime friend i have who is an atheist. he does more good things for people than Christians! you need to speak to Jesus & the Holy Spirit on this. ask for wisdom. a huge amount of "resting patience: is needed for this. be willing to be patient with time as this is another important element. blessings to you.
That is hopeful reply! Thank you.
I shall knock on Heaven's Doorstep, and ask The Lord. I know I cannot get a savior complex, but what if Jesus has put me in her life?
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
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#30
That is hopeful reply! Thank you.
I shall knock on Heaven's Doorstep, and ask The Lord. I know I cannot get a savior complex, but what if Jesus has put me in her life?
then you definitely are the 1 to witness to her so she can get saved. there's not a lot of time left on this earth.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
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#32
That is hopeful reply! Thank you.
I shall knock on Heaven's Doorstep, and ask The Lord. I know I cannot get a savior complex, but what if Jesus has put me in her life?
That's whats known as "missionary dating". It has a much higher rate of failure than successes. And it's not uncommon to backfire and cause the Christian to slide, rather than the person to get saved.
Even if God put you into her life but that doesn't automatically translate to romance reasons.
And if you do missionary date, for how long till you decide to end it if she's not getting saved? Are you willing to marry someone who's views contradict your own? Or if you have kids who gets to be the one to teach them about spiritual matters? How would you keep her from exposing them to her beliefs?
Or let's say you date a while, at what point do you break up? How long will you drag this person along before cutting the rope? What sort of witness will that be for you to trail her along, let emotions grow, then ditch her for not conforming?

And ultimately whether or not the choose to be saved is 100% up to them. Sure you can pray, but that doesn't stop their free will to choose for themselves, according to their own heart.
There is no shortcut in dating, not if you want a genuine relationship. And this goes doubly true for relationships with non-Christians.
It sucks, I know firsthand, but it's the truth.
 
Mar 10, 2025
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#35
Update,

Well I have been severed from her. Turns out she was part of a group that persecutes Christians, she was the one who plays nice and makes you treat her in confidence. Better to know now I guess. Sigh.. need to do what some of you have suggested, just plug into The Spirit.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
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#36
Update,

Well I have been severed from her. Turns out she was part of a group that persecutes Christians, she was the one who plays nice and makes you treat her in confidence. Better to know now I guess. Sigh.. need to do what some of you have suggested, just plug into The Spirit.
I'm truly sorry this happened, but I'm glad God revealed this to you early on.

Just imagine not finding out until several months into a relationship -- or after the wedding. :cry:
 
Mar 10, 2025
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#37
I'm truly sorry this happened, but I'm glad God revealed this to you early on.

Just imagine not finding out until several months into a relationship -- or after the wedding. :cry:
Exactly. I remember I was reading a reddit or something where a Christian guy my age said, "I keep attracting witches and dark people, and I am church hurt."

This brilliant lady said,
"So let me get this straight, you think leaving the church where you got hurt by some Christians who failed for people who's beliefs teach torment people and do dark deeds is a good idea? Like in Church people fail, but their aim is to be like Jesus, dark folk aint trying to be like Jesus, you are gonna experience way more suffering going to them."

I thought that was amazing, and makes sense. The Church with all its flaws is the Church, but the World is cruel, it killed our Lord and tried to wipe out the apostles and their teaching.
 

Kainos

Active member
Jan 30, 2025
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#38
Update,

Well I have been severed from her. Turns out she was part of a group that persecutes Christians, she was the one who plays nice and makes you treat her in confidence. Better to know now I guess. Sigh.. need to do what some of you have suggested, just plug into The Spirit.
I am sorry, because you loved her. But the teeth to fit your wounds, would've been hers. The Lord of Glory is protecting you.

Some of the most painful branches He's selectively cut away in my own life have been female. Humanists and pagans, who vied for my allegiance and bargained on emotional attachment to preserve an entry point for human compromise.

Whenever my loyalty was misplaced, God cut those people out of my life, because He knew I wasn't always the first to walk away.

My initial responses might have seemed unsympathetic, but I didn't want to give you false hope.
 
Mar 10, 2025
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#39
I am sorry, because you loved her. But the teeth to fit your wounds, would've been hers. The Lord of Glory is protecting you.

Some of the most painful branches He's selectively cut away in my own life have been female. Humanists and pagans, who vied for my allegiance and bargained on emotional attachment to preserve an entry point for human compromise.

Whenever my loyalty was misplaced, God cut those people out of my life, because He knew I wasn't always the first to walk away.

My initial responses might have seemed unsympathetic, but I didn't want to give you false hope.
This is very true, my Brother was a Worship Leader at a Church, fell in love with High Witch who claimed to be reformed, but was not. He no longer plays worship to the Lord and has let his God given gift erode away.

So I have always been cautious because of that, but loneliness is what the devil seems to use to make us compromise. I knew in my head and in my spirit there was red flags with this Lady I was smitten with:

1) Her mocking religions, saying they are silly
2) Her book list being angels in love with humans, Nephilim, How Summon a Demon, and etc despite her saying she is Atheist.
3) Saying she believed in demons and vampires, and not being clear what that means.
4) Her propping up a romance in fiction we both know that was between Dark Lady Being and Hero of Light, no doubt was to parallel our own relationship.

I should be more frustrated with myself.. but then I remember Samson, God have him great strength and he kept falling for Philistine Women, especially Delilah.

David trusted in Goliath's Sword, when he defeated the Giant by the Power of the Lord, and him killing Uriah his faithful friend to hide his sin with Bathsheba (even in Jesus' Genealogy it says Bathsheba Wife of Uriah).

Jahu was told by God to destroy Jezebel and her Baal Worship, and destroy the Ashteroth Poles, he did not do the ladder.

Unfortunately we have less examples in New Testament save Peter denying Jesus three times, Thomas doubting, and Paul did not listen to four prophets about going to the Temple in Jerusalem, and so was arrested.

That is what is hard, in The Old Testament they did not have in dwelling of the Holy Trinity inside them. They had to rely on Prophets and go to the Temple. While we are the temples of God (1 Corinthians 3:16-17, 1 Corinthians 6:19, 2 Corinthians 6:16-20, 1 Peter 2:5). So when you fail like this, it feels like a major failure because you should know better.

I mean the obvious with this girl was a verse I know like back of my hand,
"You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons. You cannot partake of the table of the Lord and the table of demons," (1 Corinthians 10:21).
 
Jan 30, 2025
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#40
This is very true, my Brother was a Worship Leader at a Church, fell in love with High Witch who claimed to be reformed, but was not. He no longer plays worship to the Lord and has let his God given gift erode away.

So I have always been cautious because of that, but loneliness is what the devil seems to use to make us compromise. I knew in my head and in my spirit there was red flags with this Lady I was smitten with:

1) Her mocking religions, saying they are silly
2) Her book list being angels in love with humans, Nephilim, How Summon a Demon, and etc despite her saying she is Atheist.
3) Saying she believed in demons and vampires, and not being clear what that means.
4) Her propping up a romance in fiction we both know that was between Dark Lady Being and Hero of Light, no doubt was to parallel our own relationship.

I should be more frustrated with myself.. but then I remember Samson, God have him great strength and he kept falling for Philistine Women, especially Delilah.

David trusted in Goliath's Sword, when he defeated the Giant by the Power of the Lord, and him killing Uriah his faithful friend to hide his sin with Bathsheba (even in Jesus' Genealogy it says Bathsheba Wife of Uriah).

Jahu was told by God to destroy Jezebel and her Baal Worship, and destroy the Ashteroth Poles, he did not do the ladder.

Unfortunately we have less examples in New Testament save Peter denying Jesus three times, Thomas doubting, and Paul did not listen to four prophets about going to the Temple in Jerusalem, and so was arrested.

That is what is hard, in The Old Testament they did not have in dwelling of the Holy Trinity inside them. They had to rely on Prophets and go to the Temple. While we are the temples of God (1 Corinthians 3:16-17, 1 Corinthians 6:19, 2 Corinthians 6:16-20, 1 Peter 2:5). So when you fail like this, it feels like a major failure because you should know better.

I mean the obvious with this girl was a verse I know like back of my hand,
"You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons. You cannot partake of the table of the Lord and the table of demons," (1 Corinthians 10:21).
Most of us have been there at some juncture in life. An object of our affection with so many red flags, they could've dyed their hair red for an omen, and we'd still have missed the handwriting on the wall.

The affairs of the heart can make us susceptible to misguided choices. But your decision to respond and trust in God's commitment to you, is what will define you.