One last blow

[laughingheart]

Sorry to hear about this very bad situation. However, it would appear that you should be the sole custodian and parent of your children. Meet with a lawyer who deals with these kinds of issues, and petition the court immediately (since you have good grounds for making this request).

The courts do not grant sole custody in situations where abuse is not proved. At this point the best interest of the children is a complicated issue and if things can be settled out of court it will bring less stress to the children. Definitely have a lawyer but trying to strip the mother of her parental rights is almost impossible. There is also the chance that she may fight back in a way she wouldn't have if she wasn't threatened with losing the children. I know the moral climate is a worry but do listen to good counsel that knows the law, the situation and takes the best interest of the children to heart.
I have one piece of advice that is really important. Do your best to not criticize your ex in front of the children. They will not thank you for it later. She is their only mom and they love her. Even if the two of you do not get along, do your best for their sakes and for your testimony as a Christian. We say, "Love your enemy" but we can trash others if they hurt us. No. This can't be. This is part of what makes our beliefs so radical. When my husband left, it was like God put his hand over my mouth and said no. If I loved my son I was not to interfere with him ability to love his dad. Do nothing that interferes with your children's ability to love their mother. In time they will see what is true. It is hard but we cannot share the gospel and not live it, especially when it hit so close to the heart. Be wise, be brave and you will feel a freedom you have never had before. I have lived it and I know.
All the best brother.

 

[Aerials1978]

The courts do not grant sole custody in situations where abuse is not proved. At this point the best interest of the children is a complicated issue and if things can be settled out of court it will bring less stress to the children. Definitely have a lawyer but trying to strip the mother of her parental rights is almost impossible. There is also the chance that she may fight back in a way she wouldn't have if she wasn't threatened with losing the children. I know the moral climate is a worry but do listen to good counsel that knows the law, the situation and takes the best interest of the children to heart.
I have one piece of advice that is really important. Do your best to not criticize your ex in front of the children. They will not thank you for it later. She is their only mom and they love her. Even if the two of you do not get along, do your best for their sakes and for your testimony as a Christian. We say, "Love your enemy" but we can trash others if they hurt us. No. This can't be. This is part of what makes our beliefs so radical. When my husband left, it was like God put his hand over my mouth and said no. If I loved my son I was not to interfere with him ability to love his dad. Do nothing that interferes with your children's ability to love their mother. In time they will see what is true. It is hard but we cannot share the gospel and not live it, especially when it hit so close to the heart. Be wise, be brave and you will feel a freedom you have never had before. I have lived it and I know.
All the best brother.

You’re correct. Thus far things have been cordial. No need to rock that boat. I tell the children to love and honor their mother and I don’t speak any ill of her. Prayer is the biggest asset, only the God that created us can direct ones heart.

 

[DesertWanderer]

What if this man is abusive? How do I deal with such a thing

My wife left me for a "better Christian." The hypocrisy in that is astounding. I had the same fear you do now, except I knew this guy she ran off with was actually a narcissist. How did I know that? He was my best friend for over 12 years.

I am not saying this to one-up you. I just want to let you know I have been where you are at. I also want to let you know right off the bat that it is not 1000% your fault. After all, she agreed to the divorce. she was not perfect, either; no one is.

I was a wretched man.
Sin is a deviation from God’s holy standard. We cannot be like Him on our own. By our very nature we are enemies of God. But we are His workman ship. He so loved us He send His Son to atone. The way is narrow. I have had full knowledge of God for quite some time I chose to ignore. I’m paying the price for that heavily. God is remaking my soul and there has to be pain involved for me to truly be understand and accept His saving grace.

You sound like 95% of the pastors out there who berate us guys for not being perfect Christians. Do not beat yourself up over this. It takes two to have a marriage relationship. Instead, it is time to fight back, and I don't mean against your Ex.

Satan is delighting in this breakup, and he is not going to stop until your life is in total shambles. He's going to keep coming after you and the anger is going to build, I promise you.

But there is a way to get peace quicker than I got it. The key is to drive the enemy out of your life by rebuking him in the name of Jesus. You may have to do this several times a day.

Check out this video and let me know what you think.

And yes, I am praying for you

 

[Aerials1978]

My wife left me for a "better Christian." The hypocrisy in that is astounding. I had the same fear you do now, except I knew this guy she ran off with was actually a narcissist. How did I know that? He was my best friend for over 12 years.

I am not saying this to one-up you. I just want to let you know I have been where you are at. I also want to let you know right off the bat that it is not 1000% your fault. After all, she agreed to the divorce. she was not perfect, either; no one is.



You sound like 95% of the pastors out there who berate us guys for not being perfect Christians. Do not beat yourself up over this. It takes two to have a marriage relationship. Instead, it is time to fight back, and I don't mean against your Ex.

Satan is delighting in this breakup, and he is not going to stop until your life is in total shambles. He's going to keep coming after you and the anger is going to build, I promise you.

But there is a way to get peace quicker than I got it. The key is to drive the enemy out of your life by rebuking him in the name of Jesus. You may have to do this several times a day.

Check out this video and let me know what you think.

And yes, I am praying for you

Thanks. Actually there is very little anger. There had been too much of that already. I just keep praying to the Good Shepard, and I know that the King of peace will deliver.

 

[DesertWanderer]

My last day at my job was March 1st.

I don't want you to respond to this, but I am hoping you didn't quit your job to try and lessen the amount you have to pay in child support, which in your case, will be at least 30% of your gross income before taxes.

Some younger men will try this tactic, but it always catches up with them. The truth is, it doesn't matter if you have a job or not, you will go to jail if you don't pay. Because of the trouble collecting child support in the past, enforcement has been turned over to the men-hating, militant feminists in each state.

Don't expect any understanding or sympathy, either. The judge will never take into consideration your situation. It does not matter if your Ex ran away and left you with all the bills. It doesn't matter if you live under a bridge and have no job. You are still going to pay, even if it has to be at gunpoint.

I find it amusing how the media brainwashes people into thinking the man is always at fault and should pay dearly for his mistakes. Even the church is culpable for this perverse attitude. Even people I have known for years become militant when it comes to the child support issue; which incidentally, they have no clue what they are talking about.

Just the other day, one of my very pleasant, older, female clients asked me how things were going. I told her things were fine, but It was difficult for some months to keep up with my child support payments.

Her response was, "Good, it really needs to be."

Keep in mind, this is someone who I see as my second mom. She has been with me for over 10 years.

I am not telling you all this to scare you. I just want you to know what is probably ahead so you can plan for it. Expect no understanding or sympathy from anyone, especially when it comes to child support.

Also, there is a very high probability your ex-wife will use child support as a weapon against you at some point. Don't be shocked by this. Even if you think "she would never do that," at least keep it in the back of your mind. People change. I guarantee, she will too, especially since she already has a new man in her life to agree with her about what a jerk you are.

Here are a few things you can do to protect yourself:

1. If you can afford it, hire a lawyer. If you can't, there are legal aid resources in each state. Don't be too proud to use their services.

2. Make some kind of payment to your Ex each month, even if it is $20.00. You have to pay something so you can show you at least care. If you have trouble paying, go to your local enforcement division and confront them head-on. I've heard that they are becoming more willing to work with men who genuinely care about their kids, but are underemployed.

3. Try and stay self-employed. Not only will you potentially make more money, but the state will also be unable to garnish your wages. I know this sounds a bit crass since I know you want to do what is best for your kids.

But wage garnishment is virtually automatic in a lot of cases. All a feminist judge has to do is ask your Ex one question, "Do you think he will pay his child support?" If she says no, you will be having at least 30% of your wages taken out before taxes each payday, whether you can afford it or not.

4. Keep a cash reserve on hand for emergencies. Nuff said there.

 

[Mii]

I don't want you to respond to this, but I am hoping you didn't quit your job to try and lessen the amount you have to pay in child support, which in your case, will be at least 30% of your gross income before taxes.

Some younger men will try this tactic, but it always catches up with them. The truth is, it doesn't matter if you have a job or not, you will go to jail if you don't pay. Because of the trouble collecting child support in the past, enforcement has been turned over to the men-hating, militant feminists in each state.

Don't expect any understanding or sympathy, either. The judge will never take into consideration your situation. It does not matter if your Ex ran away and left you with all the bills. It doesn't matter if you live under a bridge and have no job. You are still going to pay, even if it has to be at gunpoint.

I find it amusing how the media brainwashes people into thinking the man is always at fault and should pay dearly for his mistakes. Even the church is culpable for this perverse attitude. Even people I have known for years become militant when it comes to the child support issue; which incidentally, they have no clue what they are talking about.

Just the other day, one of my very pleasant, older, female clients asked me how things were going. I told her things were fine, but It was difficult for some months to keep up with my child support payments.

Her response was, "Good, it really needs to be."

Keep in mind, this is someone who I see as my second mom. She has been with me for over 10 years.

I am not telling you all this to scare you. I just want you to know what is probably ahead so you can plan for it. Expect no understanding or sympathy from anyone, especially when it comes to child support.

Also, there is a very high probability your ex-wife will use child support as a weapon against you at some point. Don't be shocked by this. Even if you think "she would never do that," at least keep it in the back of your mind. People change. I guarantee, she will too, especially since she already has a new man in her life to agree with her about what a jerk you are.

Here are a few things you can do to protect yourself:

1. If you can afford it, hire a lawyer. If you can't, there are legal aid resources in each state. Don't be too proud to use their services.

2. Make some kind of payment to your Ex each month, even if it is $20.00. You have to pay something so you can show you at least care. If you have trouble paying, go to your local enforcement division and confront them head-on. I've heard that they are becoming more willing to work with men who genuinely care about their kids, but are underemployed.

3. Try and stay self-employed. Not only will you potentially make more money, but the state will also be unable to garnish your wages. I know this sounds a bit crass since I know you want to do what is best for your kids.

But wage garnishment is virtually automatic in a lot of cases. All a feminist judge has to do is ask your Ex one question, "Do you think he will pay his child support?" If she says no, you will be having at least 30% of your wages taken out before taxes each payday, whether you can afford it or not.

4. Keep a cash reserve on hand for emergencies. Nuff said there.

Awesome post.

Child support is for the child's needs yes?

What do you children really need physically speaking beside housing, food, clothing and medical care?


I am also not trying to be crass but if a father did the legwork to get food, clothing, and financial assistance from churches directly paying for these needs specifically it makes sense that in court that would go a VERY long way. It would to me as a juror at least.


I have little experience with this other than that income typically goes toward frivolities such as recreation and luxuries and it makes sense that a mother may use leftover capital on her needs as a sort of human justice for wrongs suffered when this is not what it's for. There are probably many abuses that occur (much like with governmental assistance).

Why should a father have to pay beyond the bare bones minimum of what the government allows to poverty stricken families that don't have a divorce and have a family? At least there should be some legal precedent for that. I understand that the Lord uses the legal system to teach someone a hard lesson often enough if we are willing to receive.

Thank you for bringing this need to my attention.

 

[DesertWanderer]

Awesome post

Thanks. I wasn't sure what kind of reaction I would get from being so direct.

Child support is for the child's needs yes?

What do you children really need physically speaking beside housing, food, clothing and medical care?

Great point. Unfortunately, we now live in a world where it is considered child abuse if your kids don't have the latest video game systems.

I am also not trying to be crass but if a father did the legwork to get food, clothing, and financial assistance from churches directly paying for these needs specifically it makes sense that in court that would go a VERY long way. It would to me as a juror at least

Unfortunately, the churches aren't going to do that. A single mom, maybe. A guy struggling to pay his child support, never. After all, he got what he deserved.

I have little experience with this other than that income typically goes toward frivolities such as recreation and luxuries and it makes sense that a mother may use leftover capital on her needs as a sort of human justice for wrongs suffered when this is not what it's f

I'll go one further. I believe that, in a lot of cases, child support is used as a defacto alimony payment. For example, I was talking to a female client the other day. She was telling me how her daughter wasn't working, but that she was doing okay because she was receiving child support.

Why should a father have to pay beyond the bare bones minimum of what the government allows to poverty stricken families that don't have a divorce and have a family?

I go back to the point I have made for some time, now. Child support is designed to be punitive.

 

[Aerials1978]

Thanks. I wasn't sure what kind of reaction I would get from being so direct.



Great point. Unfortunately, we now live in a world where it is considered child abuse if your kids don't have the latest video game systems.



Unfortunately, the churches aren't going to do that. A single mom, maybe. A guy struggling to pay his child support, never. After all, he got what he deserved.



I'll go one further. I believe that, in a lot of cases, child support is used as a defacto alimony payment. For example, I was talking to a female client the other day. She was telling me how her daughter wasn't working, but that she was doing okay because she was receiving child support.



I go back to the point I have made for some time, now. Child support is designed to be punitive.

I was actually entitled to child support since my former spouse was earning more. I waved that. Why? God had told me that I needed to. Truth be told I actually pay more(cell phones, babysitter, food, clothes.) The Lord is saying trust in Him. I am.

 

[DesertWanderer]

The courts do not grant sole custody in situations where abuse is not proved. At this point the best interest of the children is a complicated issue and if things can be settled out of court it will bring less stress to the children.

Unfortunately, it cannot be settled out of court. In every state, a judge has to sign off on every custody case. The main idea here is to force you into paying thousands for one of their lawyer buddies.

Even if the two of you do not get along, do your best for their sakes and for your testimony as a Christian.

No disrespect here, but this sounds a lot like the Pollyanna advice most pastors give. "Can't we just all get along, " is usually the naive response given by people who have never gone through the hell of a marital breakup.

We have to remember that Satan is the sole arbitrator of every divorce. He is present in the courtroom, and everywhere else, during the whole process. He is not going to give up the battlefield easily.

I think what you are really calling for is civility. That can be achieved a lot quicker if the church would come alongside both parties. Unfortunately, this very rarely happens.

We say, "Love your enemy" but we can trash others if they hurt us. No. This can't be. This is part of what makes our beliefs so radical. When my husband left, it was like God put his hand over my mouth and said no. If I loved my son I was not to interfere with him ability to love his dad. Do nothing that interferes with your children's ability to love their mother. In time they will see what is true. It is hard but we cannot share the gospel and not live it, especially when it hit so close to the heart. Be wise, be brave and you will feel a freedom you have never had before. I have lived it and I know.

I am very sorry for what happened to you, and it looks like you have been able to forgive. Praise God.

You know how long and hard that process can be, especially if someone professing to be a Christian becomes a conduit for Satan, and later attacks you.

We need to remember that when the enemy brings out the artillery, we have to come alongside those who are being attacked.

In a later post, I would like to address what true forgiveness looks like and then get some feedback. For now, sister, blessings to you.

 

[Brandnewday]

My wife and I are separated at the moment. I'll keep this short. My wife left her journal open and in the laundry room on my day to do the wash, and turned to the page where she said she wanted to take a break. And why.
I'll say this. Being an insensitive, blind, deaf, selfish ahole in a marriage, costs. We're men. We seem to pay attention to everything but what matters, and maybe that is because we take it for granted it will always be there. The marriage, the wife, the family. No one has to put up with us when we're not fully in the marriage and paying attention.

I look at our separation as ahole tax. I earned it, I made the trip down the road to where it has come due, and now I'm paying.
If it is meant to be it will be. But why would she want to return to me if I'm the same man she left?

Some couples work out better when they're friends. Friends that love one another and live apart. So far, we're better now than we were in the last two years we were in the marriage.

Take heart. It'll all work out.

 

[Aerials1978]

My wife and I are separated at the moment. I'll keep this short. My wife left her journal open and in the laundry room on my day to do the wash, and turned to the page where she said she wanted to take a break. And why.
I'll say this. Being an insensitive, blind, deaf, selfish ahole in a marriage, costs. We're men. We seem to pay attention to everything but what matters, and maybe that is because we take it for granted it will always be there. The marriage, the wife, the family. No one has to put up with us when we're not fully in the marriage and paying attention.

I look at our separation as ahole tax. I earned it, I made the trip down the road to where it has come due, and now I'm paying.
If it is meant to be it will be. But why would she want to return to me if I'm the same man she left?

Some couples work out better when they're friends. Friends that love one another and live apart. So far, we're better now than we were in the last two years we were in the marriage.

Take heart. It'll all work out.

It’s wasn’t just my former marriage, I was spiritually dead. For far too long I had strayed from Jesus. That was much more detrimental.

He is making me a new creation. Not only for my benefit but for His glory! My chains are broken and I’m actually starting to love my fellow man. I can’t explain in words how my being has changed. The Man from Galilee is life. He is truly the bread of life.

 

[DesertWanderer]

I'll say this. Being an insensitive, blind, deaf, selfish ahole in a marriage, costs. We're men. We seem to pay attention to everything but what matters, and maybe that is because we take it for granted it will always be there. The marriage, the wife, the family. No one has to put up with us when we're not fully in the marriage and paying attention.

It sounds like you also have been brain-washed by the extreme militant, feminist media who degrade men and want to devalue any contribution we make to our marriages and families.

The sad thing is, most pastors feed this humiliating hysteria by castigating men in the congregation for not being perfect leaders of their families like they are. The hypocrisy in that is not only sickening, but it can also be devastating to our Christian marriages. Wives are being encouraged to leave their husbands because we are not good enough Christians. However, the bible says to the contrary:

"It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' 32But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. " Matt. 5:31-32.

These are not my words, but the words of our Lord, Jesus.

He didn't say, "If your wife or pastor feels like they just haven't molded you into a perfect Christian, she is justified in leaving you, taking the children, and finding a new boyfriend. "

If it is meant to be it will be. But why would she want to return to me if I'm the same man she left?

Because I am assuming she vowed, "Till death do us part."

Some couples work out better when they're friends. Friends that love one another and live apart. So far, we're better now than we were in the last two years we were in the marriage.

But are your kids better off? There's nothing more devastating to a child than when a couple, or one party, decide to selfishly shred their marriage to pieces.

 

[Aerials1978]

It sounds like you also have been brain-washed by the extreme militant, feminist media who degrade men and want to devalue any contribution we make to our marriages and families.

The sad thing is, most pastors feed this humiliating hysteria by castigating men in the congregation for not being perfect leaders of their families like they are. The hypocrisy in that is not only sickening, but it can also be devastating to our Christian marriages. Wives are being encouraged to leave their husbands because we are not good enough Christians. However, the bible says to the contrary:

"It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' 32But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. " Matt. 5:31-32.

These are not my words, but the words of our Lord, Jesus.

He didn't say, "If your wife or pastor feels like they just haven't molded you into a perfect Christian, she is justified in leaving you, taking the children, and finding a new boyfriend. "



Because I am assuming she vowed, "Till death do us part."



But are your kids better off? There's nothing more devastating to a child than when a couple, or one party, decide to selfishly shred their marriage to pieces.

I agree that in this modern day men are looked down upon. With that said, only the individual is responsible in the court of God. My former spouse has more respected for me now than she has had in many years. My children see me without fear and love their father because of what he has become. I’m finally the spiritual head they had been deserving and hungering for. God will always take a bad situation and turn it completely around. What I destroyed, God has made whole.

 

[Lizzy]

Hello Brothers and Sisters. This has been quite a rough month for me. My marriage officially came to an end. My last day at my job was March 1st. And now I found out that my ex wife has a boyfriend. It hurts, but I’m also concerned about our 4 kids. I’m trying to install biblical truths into them, and I see troubled waters ahead. I don’t want to fall into sin over this, so I have asked the Lord give me wisdom and a steadfast heart. I am open to Godly advice(and prayers as well) as how to deal with such a mountain. The kids will see and experience things that are not of God in their mothers house. What if this man is abusive? How do I deal with such a thing? Only God knows the course, and I ask for Him to guide us through to the other side. Thank you all for your blessings!

Really sorry. Life is so difficult sometimes! So what can you do to try and do the right thing? To help your kids thru this? I think you should try your best to remain loving and calm when youre w your kids. Never say anything hurtful about their Mom , even though you may want to shout stuff about her. I think you need to let your kids see you take the high road. Its so hard. And frustrating. You are their example, so do your best. They will never be able to say that their Dad said bad stuff about their Mom. Pray and just talk to God about all your frustrations. Talk to good friends. Your church family. Even ask to speak to the counselor at your kids school so they can be aware of whats going on. Especially if behavior issues come up. Its tough going thru this kind of loss in your life. Be strong brother!

 

[Brandnewday]

It sounds like you also have been brain-washed by the extreme militant, feminist media who degrade men and want to devalue any contribution we make to our marriages and families.

The sad thing is, most pastors feed this humiliating hysteria by castigating men in the congregation for not being perfect leaders of their families like they are. The hypocrisy in that is not only sickening, but it can also be devastating to our Christian marriages. Wives are being encouraged to leave their husbands because we are not good enough Christians. However, the bible says to the contrary:

"It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' 32But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. " Matt. 5:31-32.

These are not my words, but the words of our Lord, Jesus.

He didn't say, "If your wife or pastor feels like they just haven't molded you into a perfect Christian, she is justified in leaving you, taking the children, and finding a new boyfriend. "



Because I am assuming she vowed, "Till death do us part."



But are your kids better off? There's nothing more devastating to a child than when a couple, or one party, decide to selfishly shred their marriage to pieces.

Maybe you've been in the heat overlong.
I'm not a Jew! Jewish commands regarding marriage do not apply to me.
And when you throw out that garbage about the extreme militant Feminist media you sound like the brainwashed one.

You're single right?

 

[living_in_grace]

You’re correct. Thus far things have been cordial. No need to rock that boat. I tell the children to love and honor their mother and I don’t speak any ill of her. Prayer is the biggest asset, only the God that created us can direct ones heart.

Going thru something Similar. it's hard to redirect my children from speaking ill of him when they are speaking of their memories of what they have experienced with their dad. counseling doesnt seem to help. I try my best to not speak bad of him in front of the children.

 

[living_in_grace]

I don't want you to respond to this, but I am hoping you didn't quit your job to try and lessen the amount you have to pay in child support, which in your case, will be at least 30% of your gross income before taxes.

Some younger men will try this tactic, but it always catches up with them. The truth is, it doesn't matter if you have a job or not, you will go to jail if you don't pay. Because of the trouble collecting child support in the past, enforcement has been turned over to the men-hating, militant feminists in each state.

Don't expect any understanding or sympathy, either. The judge will never take into consideration your situation. It does not matter if your Ex ran away and left you with all the bills. It doesn't matter if you live under a bridge and have no job. You are still going to pay, even if it has to be at gunpoint.

I find it amusing how the media brainwashes people into thinking the man is always at fault and should pay dearly for his mistakes. Even the church is culpable for this perverse attitude. Even people I have known for years become militant when it comes to the child support issue; which incidentally, they have no clue what they are talking about.

Just the other day, one of my very pleasant, older, female clients asked me how things were going. I told her things were fine, but It was difficult for some months to keep up with my child support payments.

Her response was, "Good, it really needs to be."

Keep in mind, this is someone who I see as my second mom. She has been with me for over 10 years.

I am not telling you all this to scare you. I just want you to know what is probably ahead so you can plan for it. Expect no understanding or sympathy from anyone, especially when it comes to child support.

Also, there is a very high probability your ex-wife will use child support as a weapon against you at some point. Don't be shocked by this. Even if you think "she would never do that," at least keep it in the back of your mind. People change. I guarantee, she will too, especially since she already has a new man in her life to agree with her about what a jerk you are.

Here are a few things you can do to protect yourself:

1. If you can afford it, hire a lawyer. If you can't, there are legal aid resources in each state. Don't be too proud to use their services.

2. Make some kind of payment to your Ex each month, even if it is $20.00. You have to pay something so you can show you at least care. If you have trouble paying, go to your local enforcement division and confront them head-on. I've heard that they are becoming more willing to work with men who genuinely care about their kids, but are underemployed.

3. Try and stay self-employed. Not only will you potentially make more money, but the state will also be unable to garnish your wages. I know this sounds a bit crass since I know you want to do what is best for your kids.

But wage garnishment is virtually automatic in a lot of cases. All a feminist judge has to do is ask your Ex one question, "Do you think he will pay his child support?" If she says no, you will be having at least 30% of your wages taken out before taxes each payday, whether you can afford it or not.

4. Keep a cash reserve on hand for emergencies. Nuff said there.

ro add to this pay in checks, not cash so you have a paper trail to prove what you paid her and what she received rather than your word against hers. if you pay in cash, you can't prove it and she can deny getting it.

 

[Prycejosh1987]

My last day at my job was March 1st. And now I found out that my ex wife has a boyfriend. It hurts, but I’m also concerned about our 4 kids. I’m trying to install biblical truths into them, and I see troubled waters ahead

Just remain in faith, troubles and problems come to all. Even i go through tough situations. Its a shame you didnt try and nip it in the bud, and really work on your marriage, you have 2 choices, either you can fight you get EX-wife back and that will be hard. Or you can move on and find yourself another partner. In your case it seems like both options will be really difficult. Getting another partner is starting all over again, and the EX-wife has a boyfriend. At least they are not married. When you are knocked down get back up and keep fighting because persistence and passion will help you overcome your enemy.

 

[Treeboy]

Consider yourself lucky you have joint custody and no CS and move on. I have almost joint custody and pay the same as a man who never sees his kid. Many states you can have joint custody and pay the same amount as someone who never has their kid. I had joint custody 2 years and lost custody for no reason. Also if there ever is some incident with her bf take care of it yourself. The police are on her side and shes on her bf's. They will do nothing the chances of taking a abuse case thru the system and winning is nothing. If questioned put your hands out and say what crime am i being arrested for?

B cordial with your ex but you are not her friend. The christian men i meet have a psychotic hallucination of the amount of grace you can show, you can b her servant. Someone told me to plow her snow! Ive heard all kinds of garbage (i should pay her 2x what the court ordered) just to b a good guy and show the christian faith. I already pay her 3-4x what her house payment is. They think the wife who cooks them dinner is the same as having an ex wife she just lives in another home.

Also since you are not ordered to pay child support you get the privilege of not being a dead beat dad. Its not just a title for being behind. There is no special guy pays his debts on time title. Me and the above posters experiences are the same. People hate you for it and i mean real hate. Its a rare opportunity to prop themselves up against a lower life form and they always take it. My whole family 1x1 has expressed to me their disdain for me after and because of being ordered to pay CS. I just hear (all women are queens)

 

[OllieYakob]

Hello brother,

It’s been a few months since you posted, but I hope God has given you peace in regards to this question. My only answer is to make Jesus your best friend. He alone is able to give you wisdom, patience, and joy while navigating this difficult situation. I’m praying for you. Be encouraged!