I once thought I would grow up and get married, have children, my own house, car, etc. I've given up on that. It's clear that those things will never happen, and it's freaking depressing. Being alone sucks.
Nothing left but anger
- Thread starter HistoryPrincess
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Then be resigned to the life you have now except make it more full and rich with friends. It doesn't require money...just a willingness to be happy.
This thread is over a year old from having any new posts applied. How did a new arrival find it? When the OP member is no longer here.
I am resigned to it, despite the loneliness in my heart. I feel like God gives some people what they want and expects others - like me - to be perfect little angels who never stumble, never fall. People say "go get married" like that is a solution to everything; but how do you get married if you haven't found someone to get married to? It's not like God just drops potential partners in your lap.
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Consider yourself blessed you have other loved ones in your life, at least for now. Some people have no surviving family and no friends. I read awhile ago that many people do not have a close friend.
I admit some people have it easy when it comes to romantic relationships. I know some who met the person they married within a few months of online dating, whereas others are doing this for years and years. There are also more criteria for Christians, which makes it more difficult. Parents say "go get married" so they can shift the responsibility from them to the husband - I believe that is the main reason (shifting of responsibility). For women, it gets more difficult to find a husband (a suitable young man) as the woman gets older, so in that sense there is more pressure on the parents to get their daughters married. However, I also believe other than this shifting of responsibility, parents have genuine concerns. I think going from single to married, you are trading one set of "problems" to another, but overall I believe a good marriage is better than being single.
Yes He does....when it's going to be good for you to have one.
Good parents do not ever restrain from giving well behaved kids things that are good for them to have.
When God thinks that it will be good....BINGO.
How about a metaphor then?
A dog who bites every hand that is extended will be left very much alone.
No wonder you're so lonely and despondent. You've figuratively bitten people who might have been friends.
You seem determined to believe life sucks all the way around, and you seem to resent anyone who disagrees. So... Far be it from us to try to say anything that disagrees with you.
Yup, life sure sucks. Just terrible all over. Yup. Hate it. Can't stand any part of this living stuff.
All things work together for the good for those who love Christ Jesus.
If it wasn't true Paul wouldn't have written it.
It's not platitudes...it's truth.
T
TheNarrowPath
Guest
Look I understand you saying all that out of frustration if you knew the person in real life and have tried to pull them out of their depression many times. But we dont know her and so you could try some compassion here for a stranger who may be at her wits end. Tough love is reserved for those people we know in real life. It means nothing coming from a stranger on the internet. It doesnt mean we coddle her but if she is in a dark space, criticizing her wont bring her out of it.
Thanks. Sometimes people just want somebody to listen, that's all, to know that they're not living in an echo chamber.
Funny you should mention this...
HistoryPrincess has a history of this. It's not out of the blue. She likes to kvetch, and she likes to put people down when they try to help.
In fact the only people she does NOT disparage are the ones who agree with her. Anyone else, anyone who has any other point of view at all, is a total idiot.
Hi Narrow!
I always appreciate your sensitive heart for other people.
One thing I'd like to mention though is that there ARE people here who have tried to help. A few years ago, some members paid for a CC membership subscription for History Princess so that she could PM with others and possibly meet new people to talk to and connect with.
I'm not here nearly as much as I used to be so I'm sorry if I missed it, but I don't know if she's ever mentioned that there are people here who really did try to help, and spent a lot of time answering her multiple threads about these feelings.
Maybe it didn't help at all, but I wanted to reassure you that there are good people here, and sometimes things are going on behind the scenes in which they are doing what they can in order to help.
I know it can't be expected to change anyone's life -- I guess it's like giving a homeless person a sandwich and expecting that to somehow turn their life around, and maybe what it will take are continually new crops of people on the site to listen to and respond to her. But, please know that there is also a long history here on the site of people trying to help her and others, sometimes in ways no one else knows about.
Be blessed and thank you for always being concerned about others.
T
TheNarrowPath
Guest
Hi SS,
This thread is the first time Ive seen her name. My comment was more about his No wonder youre this and that reply. Which he has done a few times that Ive noticed in similar threads with people who are showing signs of depression and low self esteem.
She said she has Aspergers. In my experience you can give them all the advice in the world and they will do what they want to do because that is logical in their minds. High in logical thinking and low on emotional thinking.
She received a lot of good advice. But the wiring is different so she will receive it differently. The depressing mood seems common with Aspergers. I dont know how she could make a real friend here, maybe share some details so someone living near her city can reply?
God bless you too SS always lovely to read your posts!
This thread is the first time Ive seen her name. My comment was more about his No wonder youre this and that reply. Which he has done a few times that Ive noticed in similar threads with people who are showing signs of depression and low self esteem.
She said she has Aspergers. In my experience you can give them all the advice in the world and they will do what they want to do because that is logical in their minds. High in logical thinking and low on emotional thinking.
She received a lot of good advice. But the wiring is different so she will receive it differently. The depressing mood seems common with Aspergers. I dont know how she could make a real friend here, maybe share some details so someone living near her city can reply?
God bless you too SS always lovely to read your posts!
The reason I started replying to her threads to begin with was because I went through several years of feeling the same way as what she has expressed in almost all her threads.
I don't think I have Asperger's, as I've never been diagnosed, so I might not be able to relate to that aspect.
And I understand about it being hard to make friends, especially online. At the time, she had mentioned writing a book and wanting to get it published.
So my specific goal at the time was to try to help her connect with another CC member who had published his own books, so that she might be able to get more information regarding how to go about it.
If you are interested in reading more about the situations and responses people have been trying to share with her for several years on this site, it should be available to look at her thread creation and posting history.
I guess I'm an oddball in that I find people I deeply connect with through writing. Yes, it's like catching lightning
in a bottle but I always have the crazy hope that if it's happened to me, it might happen to others as well. 
I totally understand that newer members have no way of knowing anything about how long people have been here or what their patterns of responses have been.
And maybe the constant influx of new people and interactions is what they need. Maybe you can get through where others of us could not.
And maybe that's exactly why God has you here.
Thank you for sharing your insights!
I don't know a lot about Aspergers. I've read that it is on the Autism spectrum; in any case, I think we should always be sensitive to other people. We have to keep in mind, we never walked in that person's shoes, or saw the world through their eyes.The reason I started replying to her threads to begin with was because I went through several years of feeling the same way as what she has expressed in almost all her threads.
I don't think I have Asperger's, as I've never been diagnosed, so I might not be able to relate to that aspect.
And I understand about it being hard to make friends, especially online. At the time, she had mentioned writing a book and wanting to get it published.
So my specific goal at the time was to try to help her connect with another CC member who had published his own books, so that she might be able to get more information regarding how to go about it.
If you are interested in reading more about the situations and responses people have been trying to share with her for several years on this site, it should be available to look at her thread creation and posting history.
I guess I'm an oddball in that I find people I deeply connect with through writing. Yes, it's like catching lightning
I totally understand that newer members have no way of knowing anything about how long people have been here or what their patterns of responses have been.
And maybe the constant influx of new people and interactions is what they need. Maybe you can get through where others of us could not.
And maybe that's exactly why God has you here.
Thank you for sharing your insights!
I find myself drawn to creative people - writers, artists, musicians.
I completely agree.
And, as such, others also have the responsibility to be sensitive to those who are trying to help as well.
One of the things I struggle with is people trying to say I have such and such advantage because I have this and don't have that, and then being spiteful and dismissive because of it.
I may not have Asperger's but every person has their own pains, struggles, and things that hold them back. I know I sure do.
I understand that we all have our moments and lash out. But one thing I have learned is that there needs to be mutual respect and at the very least, acknowledgement that some people have put a lot of effort into trying and not just idly stood by.
@lonelysummer, I have been reading your posts and I am so very sorry for what you're going through.
Feel free to PM me if you'd like, or leave a message on my profile wall and I will PM you.
God bless.
I completely agree.
And, as such, others also have the responsibility to be sensitive to those who are trying to help as well.
One of the things I struggle with is people trying to say I have such and such advantage because I have this and don't have that, and then being spiteful and dismissive because of it.
I may not have Asperger's but every person has their own pains, struggles, and things that hold them back. I know I sure do. As you mentioned, that other person hasn't walked in our shoes either and both sides should be considered.
I understand that we all have our moments and lash out. But one thing I have learned is that there needs to be mutual respect and at the very least, acknowledgement that some people have put a lot of effort into trying because many here have tried to help and didn't just idly stand by.
@lonelysummer, I have been reading your posts and I am so very sorry for what you're going through.
Feel free to PM me if you'd like, or leave a message on my profile wall and I will PM you.
God bless.
And, as such, others also have the responsibility to be sensitive to those who are trying to help as well.
One of the things I struggle with is people trying to say I have such and such advantage because I have this and don't have that, and then being spiteful and dismissive because of it.
I may not have Asperger's but every person has their own pains, struggles, and things that hold them back. I know I sure do. As you mentioned, that other person hasn't walked in our shoes either and both sides should be considered.
I understand that we all have our moments and lash out. But one thing I have learned is that there needs to be mutual respect and at the very least, acknowledgement that some people have put a lot of effort into trying because many here have tried to help and didn't just idly stand by.
@lonelysummer, I have been reading your posts and I am so very sorry for what you're going through.
Feel free to PM me if you'd like, or leave a message on my profile wall and I will PM you.
God bless.