New Here and Struggling...

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You are not alone in your issue. Yes, I understand more than you think.
As you are, so have I been, and I don't mean that lightly.

Just as you hardly know how to describe how you got here, I don't know what to say to you, other than stop striving, do your best to search for positivity to replace the negativity, and be patient, knowing that Gods mercy will allow it to pass away.
I know that you are praying, but help yourself while praying, too, remembering that all God requires for you to be saved is your faith & respect for him.
Thank You for Your Prayers.
 
Hi Michael,

I'm very sorry for everything you are going through. Many of us here have been through the same or similar circumstances; I hope you'll keep posting and get to know some of the people here. There are a lot of regulars who also had to uproot and restart their lives after messy events.

I went through a long period of very dark years -- the feelings associated with them still come and go. I did everything my good Christian community told me to do. I got to a point where I was spending 5-7 days a week at the church, always participating in something, always learning, praying, or serving. I'm sure it helped me grow in some ways, but I was also desperately trying to fill all the empty hours (aside from constantly working.) I was trying to stay moving and distracted, because the second I stood still or there was too much silence -- the FEELINGS started to creep in -- and they weren't good feelings.

When I try to look back at how God has gotten me through the hardest times of my life, I know it was one day at a time, hour by hour -- and often, every minute felt agonizing.

I know I'm supposed to say something more cheerful, more joyful, more upbeat -- but I say all this to say, I think you'll find a lot of people right here who know how it feels -- and we are all trying to get through it, together.

Welcome, and come along with us as we all are trying to find God's path for us.
Thank You for Your Kind Words...
 
You are not alone in your issue. Yes, I understand more than you think.
As you are, so have I been, and I don't mean that lightly.

Just as you hardly know how to describe how you got here, I don't know what to say to you, other than stop striving, do your best to search for positivity to replace the negativity, and be patient, knowing that Gods mercy will allow it to pass away.
I know that you are praying, but help yourself while praying, too, remembering that all God requires for you to be saved is your faith & respect for him.
Thank You...
 
But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; 28And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: 29That no flesh should glory in his presence. 30But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption:

You aren't alone.<
Thank You...
 
Firstly,welcome.
You're not alone here.(Hugs you)

Have you called your family?
Maybe going home to Georgia is one way to leave your past in Texas.

Thank You, My Son is Here and I am still not sure if I want to move back to Georgia or Not after 18 Years. My Dad Passed last Year and My Mom is 65 Now. Leaving them all behind 18 Years ago is something else that I feel deep regret about as well. I have a 2 Year Younger Brother that is not happy with me about it either. My Son is 13 and I don't want him to have to choose or take him away from his mother. Not easy choices. I just realized that I haven't Prayed for those answers yet. Again Thank You...
 
Thank You, My Son is Here and I am still not sure if I want to move back to Georgia or Not after 18 Years. My Dad Passed last Year and My Mom is 65 Now. Leaving them all behind 18 Years ago is something else that I feel deep regret about as well. I have a 2 Year Younger Brother that is not happy with me about it either. My Son is 13 and I don't want him to have to choose or take him away from his mother. Not easy choices. I just realized that I haven't Prayed for those answers yet. Again Thank You...
If anything,those you've lost since leaving Georgia should tell you,time is short.
And regret doesn't change facts but it can eat your day to day joy alive.

Your mom is still there. Your brother is still mad. And you feel guilty.

I can tell you that family holding to anger for years isn't healthy. And when those we parted with in less than ideal circumstances die,we are left behind to regret even more what can never be changed.

And it figuratively,or sometimes literally, kills those left behind. Because we think they left us with those bad memories and the last they had of us.
And that compounds our guilt. Because we are left behind to carry it.

Go home.
Say now what you one day will not be able to. Fix things. Heal. When you take the first step,it can help others to.

My terminally ill dad died two weeks after making up with a family member he'd feuded with for 40+ years.

They cried,they hugged, and they couldn't even remember what started it. They had less time to catch up than they had trying to ignore or hurt one another.

I cry as I write this.
Because when my dad died in Hospice I was there. I looked out his bedroom window at the neighbors living their lives as normal and wondered,why hasn't the world stopped? My daddy just left my life.

I came home when I learned he was sick.
It was too late to make up for all that time away.

Go home. Make peace. Start over.

Your past is passed.

You ,no one,lives there anymore.

This life's future isn't promised.In this life there's only right now.

As long as you're alive you can start over. Start fresh. Make up,apologize, release your burdens, and find peace and happiness. Together. Family is its own covenant.

(Hugs)
May you and your family forever be blessed.
 
If anything,those you've lost since leaving Georgia should tell you,time is short.
And regret doesn't change facts but it can eat your day to day joy alive.

Your mom is still there. Your brother is still mad. And you feel guilty.

I can tell you that family holding to anger for years isn't healthy. And when those we parted with in less than ideal circumstances die,we are left behind to regret even more what can never be changed.

And it figuratively,or sometimes literally, kills those left behind. Because we think they left us with those bad memories and the last they had of us.
And that compounds our guilt. Because we are left behind to carry it.

Go home.
Say now what you one day will not be able to. Fix things. Heal. When you take the first step,it can help others to.

My terminally ill dad died two weeks after making up with a family member he'd feuded with for 40+ years.

They cried,they hugged, and they couldn't even remember what started it. They had less time to catch up than they had trying to ignore or hurt one another.

I cry as I write this.
Because when my dad died in Hospice I was there. I looked out his bedroom window at the neighbors living their lives as normal and wondered,why hasn't the world stopped? My daddy just left my life.

I came home when I learned he was sick.
It was too late to make up for all that time away.

Go home. Make peace. Start over.

Your past is passed.

You ,no one,lives there anymore.

This life's future isn't promised.In this life there's only right now.

As long as you're alive you can start over. Start fresh. Make up,apologize, release your burdens, and find peace and happiness. Together. Family is its own covenant.

(Hugs)
May you and your family forever be blessed.
Thank You for Sharing. I had planned to move back to Georgia. However my mom agreed that everyone has their own lives now after 18 Years. She says that I shouldn't leave my son here either. I will Pray On it and Decide when God sells this House. It was shown Yesterday, Today, And will be Shown Tomorrow and Monday. 🙌
 
And like you said, My past has passed. I will also share that My Dad Never met my Son and vice versa. That has taken a Toll on Me as Well.
Thank You for Sharing. I had planned to move back to Georgia. However my mom agreed that everyone has their own lives now after 18 Years. She says that I shouldn't leave my son here either. I will Pray On it and Decide when God sells this House. It was shown Yesterday, Today, And will be Shown Tomorrow and Monday. 🙌[/QUOT
 
I Am Having to Start My Life Over at 48 Years Old. I have been living in and am currently in Texas for the past 18 Years. I am originally from Georgia and most family is there. I Am Really Struggling with ruminating negative thoughts of my past and pain. Not being able to forgive myself for things. I take ALL of the blame for ALL Past Relationships. And I Cry Out to God Everyday for Help with ALL aspects of my life. I have Faith, However I still feel Depressed and Alone. I Know what the Scripture says. And I Still Feel Pain and Regret Constantly. I Need Jesus Every Second of Every Day...

Don't worry dear Micheal, Our God heard you the first time and the Holy Spirit is already there at work. Lean on Him, search His word and pray constantly and dwell among those who do same for encouragement.

This is how I got my deliverance.
 
If anything,those you've lost since leaving Georgia should tell you,time is short.
And regret doesn't change facts but it can eat your day to day joy alive.

Your mom is still there. Your brother is still mad. And you feel guilty.

I can tell you that family holding to anger for years isn't healthy. And when those we parted with in less than ideal circumstances die,we are left behind to regret even more what can never be changed.

And it figuratively,or sometimes literally, kills those left behind. Because we think they left us with those bad memories and the last they had of us.
And that compounds our guilt. Because we are left behind to carry it.

Go home.
Say now what you one day will not be able to. Fix things. Heal. When you take the first step,it can help others to.

My terminally ill dad died two weeks after making up with a family member he'd feuded with for 40+ years.

They cried,they hugged, and they couldn't even remember what started it. They had less time to catch up than they had trying to ignore or hurt one another.

I cry as I write this.
Because when my dad died in Hospice I was there. I looked out his bedroom window at the neighbors living their lives as normal and wondered,why hasn't the world stopped? My daddy just left my life.

I came home when I learned he was sick.
It was too late to make up for all that time away.

Go home. Make peace. Start over.

Your past is passed.

You ,no one,lives there anymore.

This life's future isn't promised.In this life there's only right now.

As long as you're alive you can start over 51 game download. Start fresh. Make up,apologize, release your burdens, and find peace and happiness. Together. Family is its own covenant .

(Hugs)
May you and your family forever be blessed.
Yes i see this
 
The Lord immediately brought a verse to mind that helps me through likewise times of depression.
I just couldn't remember the chapter and verse, so He had me open directly to it and had me look at John 16:32 KJV. This is for you right now.

32Behold, the hour cometh, yea, is now come, that ye shall be scattered, every man to his own, and shall leave me alone: and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me.

Even Jesus was left alone by His friends in time of greatest need.
However, He was not alone because why?
Thank You...
 
I Am Having to Start My Life Over at 48 Years Old. I have been living in and am currently in Texas for the past 18 Years. I am originally from Georgia and most family is there. I Am Really Struggling with ruminating negative thoughts of my past and pain. Not being able to forgive myself for things. I take ALL of the blame for ALL Past Relationships. And I Cry Out to God Everyday for Help with ALL aspects of my life. I have Faith, However I still feel Depressed and Alone. I Know what the Scripture says. And I Still Feel Pain and Regret Constantly. I Need Jesus Every Second of Every Day...
Me, I never did bother trying to find romance. Seems like the more people chase it, the more they get beat up. I'd rather play it like a lynx: Take a nap in a tree until supper time.

If romance finds me, cool! If it never happens, I've been taking a nap in a tree instead of getting the emotional stuffing beat out of me. :cool: