So I was drilling wheat (a very boring ordeal), and had the idea to go the old fashioned (1800's) route of posting some sort of "wanted" ad for a wife. I tried a bunch of the "christian" dating apps today, and wow. They're garbage. Any idea of a good place to post this online where it'll be seen? I thought about doing mailers out to a bunch of churches across a 500 mile radius. Of the 114 churches I've been to in my area, there's no way there would be anyone like this in my area. I'm not super tech savvy (hence why I'm still using forums for help.) Also, if anyone has input on the text of the ad.
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While walking across the section from my tractor back to the truck in order to get more seed last week, I realized "frickin frack! I need a hired hand." then remembered I'm too cheap, "BUT A WIIIIFE! I could do that."
SO, currently taking applications for a small farm wife. I'm not going to lie, the qualifications are pretty strict and are as follows....
Born again, hardcore believer.
No older than 27.
Virgin (sexual abuse excluded).
No college degrees.
Willing to live "poor", but still have plenty.
Ready to get dirty, work hard, and go to bed tired.
Wants kids.
Dies to self, and is completely obedient.
Dresses are a must. Women who wear pants are just dudes to me. It's an internal thing.
Humble.
Did NOT get the jab!
No social media.
Tolerant of my fairly dark, and often times inappropriate humor.
I want a completely obedient wife. Not for some power trip, but because again, I do nothing for my own personal gain. If I tell you to run 3 circles around the shed, there's a legit reason for it. And a reason thats going to benefit you and the family. I can't be everything I'm supposed to be for the family if I'm baby sitting a grown adult who's not listening.
Lastly, I don't buy into the whole "fall in love, get married, and happily ever after" crap. Having traveled around the world to different cultures, I've realized they have it right. "Compatibility, marriage, kids, learn to love each other, and live in peace". I live an old school simple life, I don't plan on changing that either.
IAny ideas are appreciated. I know this will probably be controversial for some (it shouldn't be, but its 2023). Don't start stuff over it. Seriously just looking for advice. Thanks guys!
This is kind of a funny coincidence, but I'm actually working on a farm right now.
This farm has an extremely hard-working group of young men and women keeping things running. We all our own ways and work independently during the day, but gather around the supper table for a relaxing chat at the end of the day.
I'm happy to say that for this evening's supper-side chat, I am going to read them your post.
I already know what their reactions are going to be, both from the guys and from the gals, but I'm still enjoying the anticipation.
It's going to be especially interesting because they are professional farmers themselves from childhood, so I'm pretty sure they're going to get a kick out of someone advertising for a woman who jumps at the chance to be a free farmhand who obeys every command without question.
ohh, would love to be a fly on the wall for this one.
I hope you do come back and share some of their replies/reactions.
Well, I am happy to report that this particular thread was indeed the evening topic of conversation amongst the farming family I am working for.
Some highlights of the evening include:
* The. Look. on one female family member's face after the original post was read. Let just say, there aren't enough words in the English language to describe it and, yeah, if I had to take a WILD guess, I'd say she didn't exactly agree.
* Another female family member brought up a great point: "Does the OP want a strong, thinking woman who can handle working on a farm, or a mindless robot he can program to his liking? Because he's not going to get both."
Us regulars here in Singles know we've had a lot of guys here over the years saying they want a good, obedient woman. The thing I've observed though, is that in many cases, the meeker, obedient types usually don't hold up to pressure all that well (it's part of why they quietly obey without question -- because any conflict is too much stress,) nor can they discern when they should or should not stand up to someone.
The OP said he didn't want to waste his time babysitting a grown adult woman who should just blindly listen... But what I don't think he realizes is that it's still going to be a full-time job trying to program her into when she is and isn't supposed to be an obedient puppy. For instance, I'm seeing the gals here do thing like talk to HVAC techs and working with (actual) hired help, which requires a range of skills far beyond "doing what you're told." For example, understanding how the HVAC system works, then asking the techs how to make adjustments and why this or that was done/wired a certain way; confronting workers about things they need to correct and/or when they need to step up production; talking to clients/business associates politely but firmly to make sales but also make sure they're not getting ripped off.
People who just obey are often lost when they don't have a command, so they're going to need constant supervision anyway.
This is what intrigues me about those who want someone completely obedient to them -- they're either going to have to lock the person away from the world so that they are the only ones the person ever has to interact with (and we've had a few here who said they pretty much intended to do just that,) or else they are going to have to "train" the person to try to be able to tell when and how it is or isn't ok to stand up to other people. As I said earlier, this alone sounds like a full-time job in and of itself -- so I'd rather have a grown adult who can think, interact, respond, and yes, even confront out of their own experience, but that's just me.
* As one male member of the family so eloquently put it, "I'm only as smart as one person (myself.) I'd rather learn about everything she knows and has to contribute because then I could be as smart as two people."
He also said that if he ever expected his wife to run around the shed 3 times without question, he would hope it was only because he had built up a long history of showing her that he loved her, cared about her feelings as an independent person, and therefore she would trust him because he had proven himself to her over time.
As far as having kids, this post jiggled up an old family story of my own -- my grandparents were lifelong farmers, and when their only child (my mom) was a toddler, they fashioned a harness for her and attached her to a clothesline so that they she could only run as far as the line.
People gasp when they hear that story, as they always say that's what you do to a dog, but my Grandma always answered, "Would you have rather have me just let her run around loose and get hit by a car?" They were simple people who lived out in the middle of nowhere -- childcare wasn't even a consideration -- and everyone knows work on a farm never ends. The only break my grandparents took was to go to church on Sundays, and after my Grandma died and my Grandpa was reflecting on their life together (he talked about how they walked side by side through the fields, measuring out the rows for planting with a length of chain,) he said Grandma was so overwhelmed by both motherhood and running the farm that he actually prayed they wouldn't have any more kids (and they didn't.)
My Grandma was tough as nails. I can remember being a kid, seeing her up on a cherry shaker, grabbing hold of a section of a cherry tree, and shaking the bazookas out of that tree. She was a woman who got things done, and I wish I would have drawn more from her wisdom when I had the chance.
* Getting back to the OP, another question brought up this morning is that the OP is demanding a virgin, which is fine, but...
OP, are you yourself a virgin as well? It's an important question because we've had a lot of people here in Singles over the years (I'm certainly not trying to say it's all guys but all the incidences I can remember have been guys) who insist on a virgin wife -- but are not actually virgins themselves. And of course it's fine if a couple has peace over each other's status, but just for myself, I'm just none too fond of that particular hypocrisy (demanding traits in someone else that the person doesn't qualify for themselves.)
* And finally, the best thing to come out of our discussion.
Ladies and gentlemen, the OP will be happy to know that after much discussion, our group was able to conclude that it does indeed have someone among us who not only has lifelong farming experience and doesn't mind getting dirty, but also meets at least 95% of the qualifications on the Original Poster's list!!!
The only thing is that this particular person is male.
But hey. He's super easy-going, can get along with anyone, is open-minded, and apparently not even opposed to being told he has to wear a dress, as he promised he would try to look his prettiest while wearing one.
You're in luck because he's built like a supermodel (exceptionally good-looking, tall, and thin,) so we hope the OP won't mind shelling out the extra money for the extra fabric needed to make dresses that will be long enough to properly (and modestly!) flatter his statuesque frame. (We also talked about how feasible it would be to perform all the necessary daily farm tasks in a dress, but hey, I guess the Amish already have it down to a science.)
At any rate...
Our best wishes to the OP and I hope he'll keep us posted on how his search is going.
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