Needing pointed in the right direction.

[JICase_man]

So I was drilling wheat (a very boring ordeal), and had the idea to go the old fashioned (1800's) route of posting some sort of "wanted" ad for a wife. I tried a bunch of the "christian" dating apps today, and wow. They're garbage. Any idea of a good place to post this online where it'll be seen? I thought about doing mailers out to a bunch of churches across a 500 mile radius. Of the 114 churches I've been to in my area, there's no way there would be anyone like this in my area. I'm not super tech savvy (hence why I'm still using forums for help.) Also, if anyone has input on the text of the ad.
-----------
While walking across the section from my tractor back to the truck in order to get more seed last week, I realized "frickin frack! I need a hired hand." then remembered I'm too cheap, "BUT A WIIIIFE! I could do that."

SO, currently taking applications for a small farm wife. I'm not going to lie, the qualifications are pretty strict and are as follows....

Born again, hardcore believer.
No older than 27.
Virgin (sexual abuse excluded).
No college degrees.
Willing to live "poor", but still have plenty.
Ready to get dirty, work hard, and go to bed tired.
Wants kids.
Dies to self, and is completely obedient.
Dresses are a must. Women who wear pants are just dudes to me. It's an internal thing.
Humble.
Did NOT get the jab!
No social media.
Tolerant of my fairly dark, and often times inappropriate humor.

Okay. So you made it this far. Now, a little about me.
I am Kansas born and raised. 33 yrs old. Prior military. #4 out of 10 kids. I make $70k a year working 23 hrs a week 20 minutes from home. I don't take a salary from the farm, and put most of my money back into it. Farm wise, I run cattle, have a few goats for fun, and farm ancient, and heritage wheats. I also work as a hay broker for other farms. Bag out locally made alfalfa pellets, and will be making our own line of semi organic chicken feed this winter. Full organic by next fall.

So, personal. I moved back out to the farm earlier this year, because I got tired of spending $1200/month living in town, and driving back and forth to the farm. So, I live in a camper out by the shop, and absolutely love it (I got a wood stove in it too! SSSHHHIIIIII!!!). I plan on building a container cabin in the pasture, spring of 2025. (If I can stop buying machinery)

I am a sold out born again Christian. I am about as goofy as they come. I don't get angry, and my life saying is "well, that freakin sucks." And I just move on. I am VERY protective of those I call my own. I have a nasty habit of just giving things away that people need. I never do anything for my own personal gain, aside from feeling like I got someone taken care of. I don't value money. It's literally just a tool. I have no desire to horde it up.

I want a completely obedient wife. Not for some power trip, but because again, I do nothing for my own personal gain. If I tell you to run 3 circles around the shed, there's a legit reason for it. And a reason thats going to benefit you and the family. I can't be everything I'm supposed to be for the family if I'm baby sitting a grown adult who's not listening.

Lastly, I don't buy into the whole "fall in love, get married, and happily ever after" crap. Having traveled around the world to different cultures, I've realized they have it right. "Compatibility, marriage, kids, learn to love each other, and live in peace". I live an old school simple life, I don't plan on changing that either.

If you made it this far, congrats! If you, of someone you know is interested in learning more contact me at ********
----------
Any ideas are appreciated. I know this will probably be controversial for some (it shouldn't be, but its 2023). Don't start stuff over it. Seriously just looking for advice. Thanks guys!

 

[Pipp]

First piece of advice... if ya meet a woman don't tell her your inspiration was "I need a hired hand." then remembered I'm too cheap, "BUT A WIIIIFE!"

While I definitely understand your post (I read the love comes softly books..I know about learning to love) , I also know women, and God himself created us to be emotional creatures, and as emotional creatures..... none of us want to be thought of as a glorified farm hand in a dress that you dont have to pay lol. That being said... thats a very specific list, and I'm sure she's out there somewhere but in this day and age... ladies that fit that specific set of qualifications are few and far between, so pray harrrrrd and best of luck.

 

[TabinRivCA]

My first thought was 'FarmersOnly' website but I don't know if getting dirty & working hard, wearing a dress, is going to go over very big, isn't there a lot of bending over picking/planting food. No social media?, could happen I guess, (hint: post this in the Young Adult Forum to cover more ground).
I like the way you finish your wish list with the stipulation of accepting your fairly dark/inappropriate humor😂 How will that be equally yoked with a staunch virgin hardcore believer 🤠

 

[Pipp]

My first thought was 'FarmersOnly' website but I don't know if getting dirty & working hard, wearing a dress, is going to go over very big, isn't there a lot of bending over picking/planting food. No social media?, could happen I guess, (hint: post this in the Young Adult Forum to cover more ground).
I like the way you finish your wish list with the stipulation of accepting your fairly dark/inappropriate humor😂 How will that be equally yoked with a staunch virgin hardcore believer 🤠

I thought the same about the dark inappropriate humor, that doesn't normally go hand in hand with super strict religion. I'm not gonna judge though I can't promise I'm not gonna laugh at something I shouldn't from time to time ...it's part of being human.

 

[Subhumanoidal]

So you want an uneducated virgin that will marry you without loving you and will follow your every command without question? And that's just for starters.
If I were you I'd hire help.

 

[seekingthemindofChrist]

I am hoping that this thread is just some sort of sick joke being told by an internet troll, but just in case you are serious, I have a thing or two to say.

Lastly, I don't buy into the whole "fall in love, get married, and happily ever after" crap. Having traveled around the world to different cultures, I've realized they have it right. "Compatibility, marriage, kids, learn to love each other, and live in peace".

Then you know nothing about either Christ or marriage.

Ephesians 5:22-33

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."

Marriage was instituted by God to reflect the loving union between Christ and his church. You know, a union in which "We love him, because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19), or what you called "crap," and not a union in which "we learn to love each other" because of some alleged sort of "compatibility." If there is no love, then there is no compatibility, and you can take that to the bank.

If you are anywhere near the sold-out, born again Christian you claim to be (I have serious doubts after reading your OP), then your role as a potential husband is to sacrificially lay down your life for your wife in the same manner that Christ sacrificially laid down his life for the church.

Are you willing to do the same?

I would advise you to seriously consider the depth of Christ's sacrifice before even attempting to answer this question in your own heart or mind because this is what God requires of husbands...whether they realize it or not.

A godly husband is also instructed of God to wash his wife with the water of the word or to help her in her sanctification process before the Lord by helping her to properly understand God's word.

Are you up for this task?

A godly husband is also instructed of God to nourish and cherish his wife as his own body.

Are you willing to do the same?

It is "for this cause" (to properly reflect the sacrificial and loving union between Christ and his church to the world), that a man ought to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife.

If "this cause" is not your cause, then buy a mule, and leave women alone.

In closing, I would like to say that I am stunned that you have received friendly responses from the women who have commented here thus far, but nothing surprises me anymore in this crazy fallen world.

My generic advice to any woman who might ever read this is to stick to God's blueprint where a godly husband is concerned.

To do otherwise is to invite misery and heartache into your lives, and I would hate for that to be anybody's lot in life.

 

[Lynx]

Howdy JICase_man and welcome to the forum. JICase = Just In Case?

Why no social media? You're using social media - this forum.

What if she fits everything else on your list, including no social media, but got the vaccine?

And most important...
What's in this for her? You seem to not have much to offer a wife, and you're demanding a lot. What will make her want to come to you? Think like a salesman - what's your major selling point here?

 

[Lynx]

I am hoping that this thread is just some sort of sick joke being told by an internet troll, but just in case you are serious, I have a thing or two to say.

Yeah I'm thinking troll too, but made my post just-in-case. It seemed fitting for his nickname, if nothing else. =^.^=

 

[notmyown]

Lastly, I don't buy into the whole "fall in love, get married, and happily ever after" crap.

ahem.

you may consider putting such a notion on lay-away, because it's my life story. it never would have been had my delightful husband been anything like what your post sounds like. but he's gentle, and patient, and strong in all the right ways, and for over 43 years has been my favorite person on planet earth. he likes me, too!

i hope you're willing to put at least as much work into making a wife feel cherished as you are into your 'military regs for wives'.

i don't think you know what marriage entails. it's hard work, and doesn't pop out of a box fully grown.

 

[Lynx]

So I was drilling wheat (a very boring ordeal), and had the idea to go the old fashioned (1800's) route of posting some sort of "wanted" ad for a wife. I tried a bunch of the "christian" dating apps today, and wow. They're garbage. Any idea of a good place to post this online where it'll be seen? I thought about doing mailers out to a bunch of churches across a 500 mile radius. Of the 114 churches I've been to in my area, there's no way there would be anyone like this in my area. I'm not super tech savvy (hence why I'm still using forums for help.) Also, if anyone has input on the text of the ad.
-----------
While walking across the section from my tractor back to the truck in order to get more seed last week, I realized "frickin frack! I need a hired hand." then remembered I'm too cheap, "BUT A WIIIIFE! I could do that."

SO, currently taking applications for a small farm wife. I'm not going to lie, the qualifications are pretty strict and are as follows....

Born again, hardcore believer.
No older than 27.
Virgin (sexual abuse excluded).
No college degrees.
Willing to live "poor", but still have plenty.
Ready to get dirty, work hard, and go to bed tired.
Wants kids.
Dies to self, and is completely obedient.
Dresses are a must. Women who wear pants are just dudes to me. It's an internal thing.
Humble.
Did NOT get the jab!
No social media.
Tolerant of my fairly dark, and often times inappropriate humor.

Okay. So you made it this far. Now, a little about me.
I am Kansas born and raised. 33 yrs old. Prior military. #4 out of 10 kids. I make $70k a year working 23 hrs a week 20 minutes from home. I don't take a salary from the farm, and put most of my money back into it. Farm wise, I run cattle, have a few goats for fun, and farm ancient, and heritage wheats. I also work as a hay broker for other farms. Bag out locally made alfalfa pellets, and will be making our own line of semi organic chicken feed this winter. Full organic by next fall.

So, personal. I moved back out to the farm earlier this year, because I got tired of spending $1200/month living in town, and driving back and forth to the farm. So, I live in a camper out by the shop, and absolutely love it (I got a wood stove in it too! SSSHHHIIIIII!!!). I plan on building a container cabin in the pasture, spring of 2025. (If I can stop buying machinery)

I am a sold out born again Christian. I am about as goofy as they come. I don't get angry, and my life saying is "well, that freakin sucks." And I just move on. I am VERY protective of those I call my own. I have a nasty habit of just giving things away that people need. I never do anything for my own personal gain, aside from feeling like I got someone taken care of. I don't value money. It's literally just a tool. I have no desire to horde it up.

I want a completely obedient wife. Not for some power trip, but because again, I do nothing for my own personal gain. If I tell you to run 3 circles around the shed, there's a legit reason for it. And a reason thats going to benefit you and the family. I can't be everything I'm supposed to be for the family if I'm baby sitting a grown adult who's not listening.

Lastly, I don't buy into the whole "fall in love, get married, and happily ever after" crap. Having traveled around the world to different cultures, I've realized they have it right. "Compatibility, marriage, kids, learn to love each other, and live in peace". I live an old school simple life, I don't plan on changing that either.

If you made it this far, congrats! If you, of someone you know is interested in learning more contact me at ********
----------
Any ideas are appreciated. I know this will probably be controversial for some (it shouldn't be, but its 2023). Don't start stuff over it. Seriously just looking for advice. Thanks guys!

Found one for ya.

https://christianchat.com/christian...who’s-a-full-provider-and-protects-me.212588/

 

[Pipp]

I tried realllll hard to to make my reply as civil as possible, yall said what I wanted to say though.

 

[Lynx]

I tried realllll hard to to make my reply as civil as possible, yall said what I wanted to say though.

Do not fight it. Come to us. Come to the Sarcastic Side.

We have cookies AND it's alliterative. Double score!

 

[notmyown]

Found one for ya.

https://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/i-want-a-husband-who’s-a-full-provider-and-protects-me.212588/

nah, that girl wants a protector, not a drill sergeant.

 

[seekingthemindofChrist]

While I definitely understand your post (I read the love comes softly books..I know about learning to love) , I also know women, and God himself created us to be emotional creatures, and as emotional creatures..... none of us want to be thought of as a glorified farm hand in a dress that you dont have to pay lol.

What I am about to say is not aimed specifically towards you alone, so please do not misread it that way. Instead, what I am about to say is aimed at all women, and, even then, it will be said in a caring and protective sort of way, and not in any sort of judgmental way.

Women, please do not get your concepts of marital love out of any book other than the Bible. I have never read the "Love Comes Softly" books, but, coincidentally, only about a month or so ago, I did watch a "Love Comes Softly" movie.

Regardless of how marital love is portrayed there, or anywhere else, for that matter, the union between Christ and his church as is described in the Bible must always be our example, or else we are asking for trouble.

Jesus, as the ultimate Bridegroom, actually did something to show his great love for us (men are part of the bride of Christ, so I will include us), and any man ought to do the same for his prospective bride. If you think that a man might suddenly change and somehow show up in a loving manner after the wedding vows have been said, when it has been missing up until that point in time, then...

Seriously, if any woman is looking for a husband, then please prayerfully find one who openly loves you as Christ openly loves the church.

This is my solemn, yet caring, advice...for whatever it is worth.

Just to reiterate to Pipp, my comments here are not meant to sound even the least bit critical towards what you said. Had you not included that you know how God himself created women, then I might have been overly concerned.

Anyhow, in a certain sense, none of any of your personal lives are any of my business.

However, as a Christian, I am greatly concerned about everybody's lives...including my own.

I have said enough here.

May God bless and keep all of you away from self-serving men who treat you like cattle.

 

[melita916]

Well… ok.

 

[seoulsearch]

So I was drilling wheat (a very boring ordeal), and had the idea to go the old fashioned (1800's) route of posting some sort of "wanted" ad for a wife. I tried a bunch of the "christian" dating apps today, and wow. They're garbage. Any idea of a good place to post this online where it'll be seen? I thought about doing mailers out to a bunch of churches across a 500 mile radius. Of the 114 churches I've been to in my area, there's no way there would be anyone like this in my area. I'm not super tech savvy (hence why I'm still using forums for help.) Also, if anyone has input on the text of the ad.
-----------
While walking across the section from my tractor back to the truck in order to get more seed last week, I realized "frickin frack! I need a hired hand." then remembered I'm too cheap, "BUT A WIIIIFE! I could do that."

SO, currently taking applications for a small farm wife. I'm not going to lie, the qualifications are pretty strict and are as follows....

Born again, hardcore believer.
No older than 27.
Virgin (sexual abuse excluded).
No college degrees.
Willing to live "poor", but still have plenty.
Ready to get dirty, work hard, and go to bed tired.
Wants kids.
Dies to self, and is completely obedient.
Dresses are a must. Women who wear pants are just dudes to me. It's an internal thing.
Humble.
Did NOT get the jab!
No social media.
Tolerant of my fairly dark, and often times inappropriate humor.

Okay. So you made it this far. Now, a little about me.
I am Kansas born and raised. 33 yrs old. Prior military. #4 out of 10 kids. I make $70k a year working 23 hrs a week 20 minutes from home. I don't take a salary from the farm, and put most of my money back into it. Farm wise, I run cattle, have a few goats for fun, and farm ancient, and heritage wheats. I also work as a hay broker for other farms. Bag out locally made alfalfa pellets, and will be making our own line of semi organic chicken feed this winter. Full organic by next fall.

So, personal. I moved back out to the farm earlier this year, because I got tired of spending $1200/month living in town, and driving back and forth to the farm. So, I live in a camper out by the shop, and absolutely love it (I got a wood stove in it too! SSSHHHIIIIII!!!). I plan on building a container cabin in the pasture, spring of 2025. (If I can stop buying machinery)

I am a sold out born again Christian. I am about as goofy as they come. I don't get angry, and my life saying is "well, that freakin sucks." And I just move on. I am VERY protective of those I call my own. I have a nasty habit of just giving things away that people need. I never do anything for my own personal gain, aside from feeling like I got someone taken care of. I don't value money. It's literally just a tool. I have no desire to horde it up.

I want a completely obedient wife. Not for some power trip, but because again, I do nothing for my own personal gain. If I tell you to run 3 circles around the shed, there's a legit reason for it. And a reason thats going to benefit you and the family. I can't be everything I'm supposed to be for the family if I'm baby sitting a grown adult who's not listening.

Lastly, I don't buy into the whole "fall in love, get married, and happily ever after" crap. Having traveled around the world to different cultures, I've realized they have it right. "Compatibility, marriage, kids, learn to love each other, and live in peace". I live an old school simple life, I don't plan on changing that either.

If you made it this far, congrats! If you, of someone you know is interested in learning more contact me at ********
----------
Any ideas are appreciated. I know this will probably be controversial for some (it shouldn't be, but its 2023). Don't start stuff over it. Seriously just looking for advice. Thanks guys!

This is kind of a funny coincidence, but I'm actually working on a farm right now.

Except that I asked the owners to please not make me do anything that resembles actual farming, since I have problems keeping houseplants alive, even the ones deemed "impossible to kill" (somehow, I find a way.)

The farm belongs to a family I'm friends with (met them here on CC, ironically,) and the part I love is production. They have a business selling products they make from their crops, and so I'm really into assembly, production, and packing orders. I'm actually on a vacation from my regular job to come out and help them for a while, because it's their busiest time of year. They grow everything without pesticides, and use old-fashioned equipment (as in, from the early 1900's) whenever possible.

This farm has an extremely hard-working group of young men and women keeping things running. We all our own ways and work independently during the day, but gather around the supper table for a relaxing chat at the end of the day.

I'm happy to say that for this evening's supper-side chat, I am going to read them your post.

I already know what their reactions are going to be, both from the guys and from the gals, but I'm still enjoying the anticipation.

It's going to be especially interesting because they are professional farmers themselves from childhood, so I'm pretty sure they're going to get a kick out of someone advertising for a woman who jumps at the chance to be a free farmhand who obeys every command without question.

 

[Pipp]

What I am about to say is not aimed specifically towards you alone, so please do not misread it that way. Instead, what I am about to say is aimed at all women, and, even then, it will be said in a caring and protective sort of way, and not in any sort of judgmental way.

Women, please do not get your concepts of marital love out of any book other than the Bible. I have never read the "Love Comes Softly" books, but, coincidentally, only about a month or so ago, I did watch a "Love Comes Softly" movie.

Regardless of how marital love is portrayed there, or anywhere else, for that matter, the union between Christ and his church as is described in the Bible must always be our example, or else we are asking for trouble.

Jesus, as the ultimate Bridegroom, actually did something to show his great love for us (men are part of the bride of Christ, so I will include us), and any man ought to do the same for his prospective bride. If you think that a man might suddenly change and somehow show up in a loving manner after the wedding vows have been said, when it has been missing up until that point in time, then...

Seriously, if any woman is looking for a husband, then please prayerfully find one who openly loves you as Christ openly loves the church.

This is my solemn, yet caring, advice...for whatever it is worth.

Just to reiterate to Pipp, my comments here are not meant to sound even the least bit critical towards what you said. Had you not included that you know how God himself created women, then I might have been overly concerned.

Anyhow, in a certain sense, none of any of your personal lives are any of my business.

However, as a Christian, I am greatly concerned about everybody's lives...including my own.

I have said enough here.

May God bless and keep all of you away from self-serving men who treat you like cattle.

Oh, yes I know not to base anything on works of fiction.. and I didnt take your post offensive, picking a potential mate is a serious topic. This thread however is a bit of a joke in my oponion.

 

[Pipp]

This is kind of a funny coincidence, but I'm actually working on a farm right now.

Except that I asked the owners to please not make me do anything that resembles actual farming, since I have problems keeping houseplants alive, even the ones deemed "impossible to kill" (somehow, I find a way.)

The farm belongs to a family I'm friends with (met them here on CC, ironically,) and the part I love is production. They have a business selling products they make from their crops, and so I'm really into assembly, production, and packing orders. I'm actually on a vacation from my regular job to come out and help them for a while, because it's their busiest time of year. They grow everything without pesticides, and use old-fashioned equipment (as in, from the early 1900's) whenever possible.

This farm has an extremely hard-working group of young men and women keeping things running. We all our own ways and work independently during the day, but gather around the supper table for a relaxing chat at the end of the day.

I'm happy to say that for this evening's supper-side chat, I am going to read them your post.

I already know what their reactions are going to be, both from the guys and from the gals, but I'm still enjoying the anticipation.

It's going to be especially interesting because they are professional farmers themselves from childhood, so I'm pretty sure they're going to get a kick out of someone advertising for a woman who jumps at the chance to be a free farmhand who obeys every command without question.

Cant wait to see which one takes him up on it

 

[Lanolin]

No takers

If you have a sister, why not marry her.

Farmers wives are generally unhappy. When I woofed on a farm, for a christian family that was quite fundamental, the husband could be bit of a strict tyrant to his 11 children especially when 10 of them were daughters and there was only one son.


The wife gave up her career in music to be his wife and was stuck on the isolated farm 6 days a week, had to homeschool, though she put a brave face on it. The children helped out with the farm rotating stock etc but they had to get FREE woofers in when the children grew up and left home. If the wife had been someone who was keen on animals and loved farming it would have been good for her but I could tell she wasnt that into it. Her youngest was 4 years old and she was still having children when her oldest were having babies.

 

[Lanolin]

In Nz, our department store is called Farmers.

You cant buy seed or fertilisers or tractors there though its strictly non-farm stuff, like perfumes, bedding and fashion lol. Stuff you cant make on a farm.

Women do like working in Farmers though they are good employers I heard.