I am on Day 1 of a decision to Move On from a very toxic relationship. It seems easier to stay in it than to admit that I really need to cut my losses and forge ahead trusting that The Lord will see me through this time. I should have never been in the relationship in the first place. It destroyed my former life and left me lonelier that before. I have to forgive myself completely and the others involved. This is the hardest part. Speaking with a friend about the ugly truth helped me last night to finally voice what I know is true in my thoughts. It gave it a voice that I had silenced and excused behaviors that were weighing me down. Hindsight is a very unfriendly fellow when you realize the gross error of your ways. Learning from my choices is my only consolation. If anything that I have learned is do not isolate myself from others and live with hidden secrets. Secrets can truly make us sick as the saying goes. My next job is to heal and find The Way back to The Lord's Purpose in my life. I so wished that I had trusted God's leading more in the past and not my own. It is true. God's Ways are not our own. We are bought with a price. Nothing is truly free. It is better in the companionship with other believers than on an island of our own.
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