I've been living with my girlfriend and we are exclusive not dating anybody else and are committed to one another
So why is this not considered being married?
Can anybody show my in the bible where we are told to get a marriage certificate and go before a judge so he can pronounce us man and wife in order to be married?
It is not considered being married by common law because you both do not consider it being married per "I've been living with my girlfriend". As I shared on your other thread:
Marriage is a spiritual union until death. [
Matt. 19:4-6] The phrase about leaving one’s father and mother means that a man—and a woman—should be ready for marriage by attaining a sufficient degree of independence from their parents, both financial and psychological. They should be prepared to become parents themselves, even if they hope not to have a child for awhile, which means they should be rather spiritually mature, having the same love for each other as Christ has for His bride, the church.
The marital commitment is (or should be, cf. TOJ #109) signified by sexual union or becoming “one flesh” (
Gen. 2:24), although
it may be proper to fulfill legal and traditional expectations such as licenses and ceremonies for the purpose of avoiding being “a stumbling block to the weak” (
1Cor. 8:9), who do not understand the essence of marriage. Obviously, that which must not be separated is the spiritual unity, so the sin of divorce also is a spiritual event and reality before it becomes a legal one. This realization should motivate spouses to work on the quality of their communication before serious problems develop in their relationship. (See TOJ #26.)
TOJ #24: Do not desire to fornicate. [Matt. 5:27-30] God intends for sexual union to express marital commitment. Lust is not merely admiring physical beauty. It is possible to admire a flower without wanting to pick its petals. Neither is lust being tempted to fornicate or commit adultery. Jesus Himself may have been tempted in this way (Heb. 2:18).
Lust is the desire to have extra-marital sexual intercourse, so that you would if you could “get away with it” or not experience negative consequences, such as disease, unwanted pregnancy and divorce.
TOJ #109: Do not commit adultery. [
Matt. 19:18] Certainly, this teaching could be viewed as part of TOJ #24, but modern secular society stresses (idolizes?) sexuality so much that it is needful to reiterate that sexual intercourse is the act of marriage in the eyes of God (TOJ #104), so that anyone who has sex with a second partner commits both fornication (extra-marital sex) and adultery.
Much of secular society (music, movies, etc.) normalizes (and almost requires via peer pressure) sexual sins (“playboys”, “responsible sex”, “alternative lifestyles”, etc.). Such morally weak people should hope someone invents a pill (called “Cold Shower”?) that diminishes their libido and temptation to be promiscuous! {
Mark 10:19,
Luke 18:20}
Attaining moral purity is a lifelong process, and moral perfection is not attained in this life, but we should desire progress.
I have always been a one-woman guy, and my main answered prayer was for God to send me a soul-mate, which He did, so the closest I can come to a similar experience is when the Lord laid it on my heart that I should no longer listen to Rod Stewart's "Tonight's the Night" even though I loved the music because the lyrics advocated fornication. Thus, your days with the "girl friend" are numbered--unless you both make a lifelong marital commitment!
Hope this helps!
