Kicking a Child Out of the House
- Thread starter MsMediator
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
I think children should have the option of staying in their parents homes till marriage. In fact, parents should prefer this. Otherwise, fornication culture could be the result among the young, and fornication culture leads to abortion culture also.
Bible says a Man leaves his Father and his Mother when he is married to his Wife: "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." (Gen 2:24) So till marriage imo children should be allowed to stay at home if they want to. And if they want to live separately, that's also ok, but parents should monitor and supervise them also, and ensure they don't get into bad habits, whether it is fornications, drugs, or anything else. It's a Biblical principle that children need guidance from their parents until they are mature enough to make their life decisions on their own.
Bible says a Man leaves his Father and his Mother when he is married to his Wife: "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." (Gen 2:24) So till marriage imo children should be allowed to stay at home if they want to. And if they want to live separately, that's also ok, but parents should monitor and supervise them also, and ensure they don't get into bad habits, whether it is fornications, drugs, or anything else. It's a Biblical principle that children need guidance from their parents until they are mature enough to make their life decisions on their own.
-
1
-
1
- Show all
In this specific scenario where I have no other choice but for the child to be in the hospital and there are no other options to keep a nurse at home or something, then yeah I will stay with the child at the hospital.
But this notion of “kicking” the child out of your house like he or she is some kind of burden … is sort of unknown to me.
But this notion of “kicking” the child out of your house like he or she is some kind of burden … is sort of unknown to me.
-
1
- Show all
When a child becomes violent, stuck in drugs or alcohol, and the likes, it's not usually a case of the child being a burden, but there are many times where "tough love" is required. Just like with adults, addicted minors often times need to hit rock bottom before they can see they need help. I agree however, that kicking a child out....especially a minor.....HAS to be a very last resort. But if there are other children in the household and a violent child, then I have a responsibility to protect all of them, not just the one who is violent. This requires some very tough choices to be made. Thankfully, I never had to make that choice.
Parenting is not for the weak.
Parenting is not for the weak.
-
1
- Show all
Indeed. Parenting is not easy, that’s why one needs to think about before having children.
‘Thankfully God blessed us with healthy children but if a child was violent in the house for mental reasons, I would never kick that child out of the house. Ever. It’s just not in my book.
‘I get tough love. But I don’t get Kicking Out.
‘Thankfully God blessed us with healthy children but if a child was violent in the house for mental reasons, I would never kick that child out of the house. Ever. It’s just not in my book.
‘I get tough love. But I don’t get Kicking Out.
-
1
- Show all
I think it's awesome that you have the resolve to stand by your child no matter what happens.
However, I've known a few families in which it seemed necessary to remove a child's presence from their home. In one case, despite a Christian upbringing, the family's oldest son became involved with the wrong crowds and was on hard drugs. He was bringing illegal things into the house, stealing anything of value from the parents and other siblings when he was home, and was in possession of loaded weapons that he carried with him everywhere and would pull on anyone who got in his way.
In that kind of situation, the parents had to make a judgment call in which they had to face the fact that their son was a danger to everyone else in the household. They told him that unless he was going to get treatment, he could no long stay with them (and they spent their life savings trying to get him into rehab, but he would just leave every time.) I don't know what the rules were as far as trying to keep someone committed against their will, but apparently, it didn't work.
There were other young children (siblings) in the household and the parents had to think of their safety, too. The parents could also have easily been sent to prison because of the things the oldest son was bringing into and/or keeping in their house. For instance, they couldn't just say, "Oh, that's my son's stash/accessories, I had nothing to do with it," and expect to just go free without any legal entanglements.
Their son went to live with other relatives -- and eventually was arrested after he shot and killed someone in the household. I was able to speak to both his father and attorney in person about this incidence, and it was mentioned that the son was high on drugs at the time of the shooting.The father was telling me, with his eyes tearing up, that his hopes and dreams for his son's life were now over.
It's an all around tragic and heartbreaking situation for everyone involved, but I'm sure the parents made the right choice in trying to protect their remaining children from their oldest child's terrible choices -- and the resulting consequences.
God bless anyone in this fallen world who becomes a parent, including those who find themselves raising others' children.
However, I've known a few families in which it seemed necessary to remove a child's presence from their home. In one case, despite a Christian upbringing, the family's oldest son became involved with the wrong crowds and was on hard drugs. He was bringing illegal things into the house, stealing anything of value from the parents and other siblings when he was home, and was in possession of loaded weapons that he carried with him everywhere and would pull on anyone who got in his way.
In that kind of situation, the parents had to make a judgment call in which they had to face the fact that their son was a danger to everyone else in the household. They told him that unless he was going to get treatment, he could no long stay with them (and they spent their life savings trying to get him into rehab, but he would just leave every time.) I don't know what the rules were as far as trying to keep someone committed against their will, but apparently, it didn't work.
There were other young children (siblings) in the household and the parents had to think of their safety, too. The parents could also have easily been sent to prison because of the things the oldest son was bringing into and/or keeping in their house. For instance, they couldn't just say, "Oh, that's my son's stash/accessories, I had nothing to do with it," and expect to just go free without any legal entanglements.
Their son went to live with other relatives -- and eventually was arrested after he shot and killed someone in the household. I was able to speak to both his father and attorney in person about this incidence, and it was mentioned that the son was high on drugs at the time of the shooting.The father was telling me, with his eyes tearing up, that his hopes and dreams for his son's life were now over.
It's an all around tragic and heartbreaking situation for everyone involved, but I'm sure the parents made the right choice in trying to protect their remaining children from their oldest child's terrible choices -- and the resulting consequences.
God bless anyone in this fallen world who becomes a parent, including those who find themselves raising others' children.
-
3
-
2
- Show all
I understand what you're saying, and it sounds like you have been very blessed to not face any of these situations.
I'm only speaking of myself and not anyone else, because everyone's situation is different, but I grew up in a very conservative, judgmental church atmosphere. Any time something went wrong, it was always seen as being the fault of the parents or people involved -- there was never the slightest hint of acknowledgment or compassion over the fact that life can go very wrong, despite our best and most prayerful efforts.
So I grew up in the mind frame of basically seeing people's problems as being the result of their own bad choices or lack of willingness to do something about it -- and then God started putting me smack dab into the middle of situations I couldn't control, or in contact with people who had tried their best, but things had gone terribly wrong. Needless to say, it changed my own mind very quickly.
In the case of this family that I spoke about, there were several other dynamics going on, some of which I won't mention out of privacy and respect. But when I was talking to the father about this situation, he mentioned that this particular child had always been headstrong, never listening to advice, and was impulsive, and rebellious, in contrast to a sibling close in age who was pretty much the opposite, even from the time they were young. Part of it all this was also that there had been a remarriage in the family that the rebellious son had not wanted to happen and he remained bitter about it, rebelling at every turn because he blamed his parents for ruining their family.
The father also had a job in which he was working up to 100 hours a week, so I'm sure this affected some of what was going on at home and what was or was not being monitored. The remarriage had caused a situation in which this son was exposed to a relative he wanted nothing to do with (for good reasons all their own,) and so he spent as much time away from home as possible, thus falling into bad company.
My heart aches for all people who have started out doing the best they knew to do, but things have gone horribly wrong, and all they are clinging to now are prayers and the promises of God when this life ends.
I'm only speaking of myself and not anyone else, because everyone's situation is different, but I grew up in a very conservative, judgmental church atmosphere. Any time something went wrong, it was always seen as being the fault of the parents or people involved -- there was never the slightest hint of acknowledgment or compassion over the fact that life can go very wrong, despite our best and most prayerful efforts.
So I grew up in the mind frame of basically seeing people's problems as being the result of their own bad choices or lack of willingness to do something about it -- and then God started putting me smack dab into the middle of situations I couldn't control, or in contact with people who had tried their best, but things had gone terribly wrong. Needless to say, it changed my own mind very quickly.
In the case of this family that I spoke about, there were several other dynamics going on, some of which I won't mention out of privacy and respect. But when I was talking to the father about this situation, he mentioned that this particular child had always been headstrong, never listening to advice, and was impulsive, and rebellious, in contrast to a sibling close in age who was pretty much the opposite, even from the time they were young. Part of it all this was also that there had been a remarriage in the family that the rebellious son had not wanted to happen and he remained bitter about it, rebelling at every turn because he blamed his parents for ruining their family.
The father also had a job in which he was working up to 100 hours a week, so I'm sure this affected some of what was going on at home and what was or was not being monitored. The remarriage had caused a situation in which this son was exposed to a relative he wanted nothing to do with (for good reasons all their own,) and so he spent as much time away from home as possible, thus falling into bad company.
My heart aches for all people who have started out doing the best they knew to do, but things have gone horribly wrong, and all they are clinging to now are prayers and the promises of God when this life ends.
-
1
- Show all
Most everyone here has probably seen Breaking Bad...in that show the parents had to kick out the child (then early 20s, Jesse) because he was into drugs and they had a younger child. I agree with that decision, but regardless I did not feel that the parents were good parents. They did not want to be involved with him any longer and basically wanted him out of their lives. I think the logistics of kicking out a child is more complicated...not everyone can afford military school, boarding house/school, etc., and I do not believe kicking them out of the house to the streets is good.
-
1
-
1
- Show all