Kicking a Child Out of the House

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MsMediator

MsMediator

Well-known member
#1
Mar 8, 2022
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#1
I was watching a Covenant House commercial and it got me thinking about this issue.

Under what circumstances is a Christian parent allowed to kick an underage child (18 and below) out of the house? If a parent wants child out of the house, what are the next steps? Should the parent seek a group home or fund an apartment/room for the child?

It would be great if there is some Biblical reference to your response.

Also, I think this following question is easier. Under what circumstances is a Christian parent allowed to kick an adult child out of the house?
 
Roughsoul1991

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
#2
Sep 17, 2016
8,888
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#2
MsMediator said:
I was watching a Covenant House commercial and it got me thinking about this issue.

Under what circumstances is a Christian parent allowed to kick an underage child (18 and below) out of the house? If a parent wants child out of the house, what are the next steps? Should the parent seek a group home or fund an apartment/room for the child?

It would be great if there is some Biblical reference to your response.

Also, I think this following question is easier. Under what circumstances is a Christian parent allowed to kick an adult child out of the house?
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A Christian has the discernment, wisdom, and morality that God promotes. A child that is danger to self or others can be admitted into a hospital for psych help or schools for troubled kids.

We have to remember in Biblical times and throughout human history you were considered an adult by age 12 or 13. Usually around the time of puberty. Adults but very very young adults. Parents have a legal and moral responsibility to care and raise their children until by law they can move out and obtain the necessary things like a job, car, licence, bank account, and place to stat, etc.

Only if they become unruly and just defiant of your rules should you may possibly take a modified Father to the prodigal son approach. Let them go so the world may soften up their heart.

Legally it may depend on how this is done. But you can suspend your rights as a parent by turning them over to the foster care system. You can probably find this info doing some research for your state and asking people in DFCS.
 
L

Locoponydirtman

Guest
#3
#3
That is a complicated question.
I suggest seeking pastoral care.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#4
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#4
I would not know why you would do this unless the house was actually on fire, then you can do it.

If they just need to get out of the house, or you dont want them around living with you, why not send them to boarding school?
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

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#5
Dec 15, 2018
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#5
Or, if you had a ball, and they were playing rugby or soccer, and they need to go outside. But I would kick the ball out and get the child to chase after it, not kick the child. A child is not a ball you can kick around.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

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#6
Dec 15, 2018
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#6
Just make sure they dont run into the busy street and get run over by cars.
 
Deuteronomy

Deuteronomy

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#7
Jun 11, 2018
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#7
Hello @MsMediator, it is, of course, a joke that we are all aware of, but in America, boys and girls officially become "adults" (according to the State) at age 18. So, at that point (age 18), the State tells us that they are capable of making decisions as adults, and that they will now be held personally responsible for their actions.

At that point we can choose to end our duties as parents/guardians officially (and even break off all contact with them) as we are no longer legally responsible for them/for their care in any way (IOW, you can ask your children to leave your house on their 18th birthday if you want to). Of course, I believe that this can be complicated (if your kids know the law/know their "rights") if they are still attending high school and/or if they simply choose to say "no, we're not leaving".

I believe that many/most States require you to support them while they are in school (even if they are older than 18), and anti-eviction laws will require you to "officially" evict them via your city or county government if they refuse to go (a process that, at best, will take at least a month, and normally takes anywhere from 60-180 days). And if you force them to leave, you may actually end up in jail yourself (if they turn you in for not going through the proper channels and process).

Check with your city or county to see what your rights are, and what their rights are, because each city/county/state is slightly different.

~Deut
p.s. - the reason that calling a boy or a girl an adult at age 18 is a "joke" is because 99% of them are not/do not have "adult" brains yet. This is especially true for boys. IOW, they still need adult supervision (no matter what the State says), and we should return to 21 yrs old (at least) as the standard for "adult", IMHO.

A recent study has shown us that the mean age for a child's brain turning into an adult brain is 24 years and two months (though this was a study that looked at girls and boys as one group, so 24 years/2 months is probably not the mean age for boys alone, as their brains develop into adult brains later in life that girls' brains do, just FYI).
.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#8
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#8
You have to apply to make them wards of the state if you simply dont want to be a parent anymore and they are under 18.

You would need to pretty desperate or on drugs or in jail yourself to do that though.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#9
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#9
Just seems like a random question to put on CC.

sectioning your own children...how about training them up in the way they should go, or loving them no matter what.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#10
Dec 15, 2018
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#10
The prodigal son basically left home cos his dad gave him all his ineritance eg money and he spent it all on travel.

Though under 18 is a bit young to go out on your own, however, street kids are pretty resourceful. They will come home after all the money is gone of course, or they get homesick.
 
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Locoponydirtman

Guest
#11
#11
What ever you do. Dont do it out of anger. Donit from a place of calm, peace, and rationality. No yelling and screaming, just calm logical, rational conversation
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

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#12
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#12
again, so called parents who treat their children like kids.
 
Dude653

Dude653

Senior Member
#13
Mar 19, 2011
13,033
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#13
Lanolin said:
You have to apply to make them wards of the state if you simply dont want to be a parent anymore and they are under 18.

You would need to pretty desperate or on drugs or in jail yourself to do that though.
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Saw a story on Facebook this lady had a teenage son who would go on violent rampages and almost destroy the whole house. No kid would stay in my house doing that. He'd be shipped off to military school
 
GardenofWeeden

GardenofWeeden

Well-known member
#14
Jul 27, 2018
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The Garden of Weeden
#14
Minor children, unless they are a danger to themselves or others or the parents are unfit, should stay in the house. If they are a danger to themselves or others, they should be hospitalized or institutionalized until they can be safely reunited with their families. If the parents suck, and are unfit, then better arrangements should be made for them, so they can be safe.

As for adult children, that is between each individual family. I don't think there is a right or wrong as to whether an adult child should live with his/her parents, as long as there is love.
 
Dude653

Dude653

Senior Member
#15
Mar 19, 2011
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#15
GardenofWeeden said:
Minor children, unless they are a danger to themselves or others or the parents are unfit, should stay in the house. If they are a danger to themselves or others, they should be hospitalized or institutionalized until they can be safely reunited with their families. If the parents suck, and are unfit, then better arrangements should be made for them, so they can be safe.

As for adult children, that is between each individual family. I don't think there is a right or wrong as to whether an adult child should live with his/her parents, as long as there is love.
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Right exactly especially if it's a single mother who has a son who's violent and she's afraid of him.
 
CraigAllen

CraigAllen

New member
#16
Nov 17, 2022
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#16
Patience. Is all I can say. If he is an adult, he should be subjected to adult circumstances. I've been through and seen this.
Pm me if you'd like
 
Dude653

Dude653

Senior Member
#19
Mar 19, 2011
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#19
Did you see that story about the 10-year-old kid who killed his mom over a VR headset?
So if I have a violent child in my house, he's not going to be in my house anymore
 
Eli1

Eli1

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#20
Apr 5, 2022
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#20
Such a strange question.
Call me weird but I would never kick a child out of my house no matter what the circumstances.
 
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