Is It Acceptable as a Christian to Say That Looks DO Count?

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Moses_Young

Moses_Young

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#161
Sep 15, 2019
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#161
seoulsearch said:
I hear a lot of people give good, Christian answers to various situations and questions... but part of me always wonders what's really going on beneath the surface. I have always found it fascinating that in one translation of the Bible I encountered a few years ago, it said that when Samson fell in love with a Philistine girl (before meeting Delilah), he told his parents to get this girl for him as his wife, and they were very distraught, but that "they did not know this was of the Lord, because He was seeking an occasion to confront the Philistines." Apparently, in this incidence at least, God heavily influenced, or had a strong reason, behind Samson's attraction to this girl. Now, I'm not saying we should all be like, "Well, I'm sure it's of the Lord that I marry someone who looks like Megan Fox/Christian Bale," etc.... but... it's interesting... and of course, we know that Samson made terrible mistakes. But... what will happen if we sit back and let God choose for us? I admit to being a little afraid because I've heard TONS of stories from other people at my church who said, "When I first met my spouse, I wasn't attracted to him/her in the least!!" Makes you kind of nervous as you look around... :)
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I think this is one reason looks do count. Samson should have seen the girl was a philistine, and had nothing to do with her. Instead, he was attracted to her. Looks aren't everything, but are important as are often a reflection (sometimes imperfect) of what is in the heart.
 
Kacey

Kacey

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Oct 8, 2021
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#162
Moses_Young said:
I think this is one reason looks do count. Samson should have seen the girl was a philistine, and had nothing to do with her. Instead, he was attracted to her. Looks aren't everything, but are important as are often a reflection (sometimes imperfect) of what is in the heart.
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Physical characteristics you were born with cannot reflect a person's heart. You cannot control how you were born, but you control your heart.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

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#163
Dec 15, 2018
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#163
its easy to stand out when you in the minority but its not easy to BE the minority.

if everyone around you has blue eyes and blonde hair and you are the only one with brown eyes and black hair, you sort of feel either everyone else is ignoring you or staring right at you.

I mean in terms of looks.
 
shineyourlight

shineyourlight

Senior Member
#164
May 25, 2015
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seoulsearch said:
Hey Everybody, With all the talk about what we hope to find in a spouse... I must say that I do admire the people who can say, "Well, looks don't really matter to me, it all depends on where their heart is with the Lord." I guess I wish I could say I were that advanced in my spiritual walk! So, how many Christians are willing to admit that yes, looks do count for something, and is it hypocritical or a "weakness of faith" to be willing to say that? Because even though we are Christians, we're still human... I could be wrong, but in some cases, I personally believe that some people "like" a certain "look" or even race for a specific, sometimes God-given reason. (This is NOT to say there isn't such as thing as being superficial, but I do think some preferences that we have are led by the Lord.) For instance, my little brother (who is white--brown hair, blue-green eyes, very athletic) got to a point where he told God he wanted to marry "a beautiful Asian girl," and his prayer was answered. She's native South Korean, a devout Christian, and an absolute doll. But her father told her to break up with him immediately when he learned his daughter was dating an American (interracial dating is frowned upon in Korea.) However, when her father met my brother--even though they did not speak the same language, her father somehow knew my brother had a sincere heart and gave his consent. Watching the challenges that they are going through in their marriage... including prejudice and bias... and how they are handling the situations they face with God's grace and strength, I truly believe God put it in my brother's heart to strongly be attracted and desire to marry an Asian girl for a reason. Now I'm not trying to say we should all be chasing after models. :) But I do wonder if maybe sometimes God has a purpose and maybe even a hand in what we seem to be attracted to looks-wise. What do you all think?
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Looks are important and it's important to be attracted to your partner.

However, they aren't everything. I have been with unattracted guys in the past because I was more attracted to their personality above everything which made them more attractive to me. And the Bible is all about inner and spiritual beauty (1 Tim 4:8, 1 Peter 3:3-4, Prov 31:30, 1 Sam 16:7, Psalm 139:14).
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

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Dec 15, 2018
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#165
I wonder if this is how gingers feel

hey my gf/bf is the one with red hair!

iF EVERYONE had red hair then nobody would really mention it would they.
 
BrotherMike

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
#166
Jan 8, 2018
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#166
I’m now engaged and my fiancé is beautiful. No she’s not the most attractive lady I’ve ever met, but she has a heart of gold and has many qualities other than physical appearance I have been looking for… for a long time. We dated for about a year and proposed to her about a month ago. Things seem to be easy and natural and we have great communication. Anyone who values looks more than personality and a love for Jesus is a fool.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

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Dec 15, 2018
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#167
I am sure everyone finds their own fiance beautiful/handsome. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all.

The problem would be if everyone else thought your fiance was beautiful too and wanted them as well. Actually a lot more common problem for those who are 'good looking' that not (and their spouses)

Rings dont always deter people. I suppose you could just keep them locked away at home. But then Bathsheba was in her own home.
 
F

franksturs

New member
#168
Dec 14, 2021
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#168
There's no point in denying reality. Women want a man she feels can lead her, and men want a woman that drops his jaw.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#169
Aug 13, 2014
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#169
franksturs said:
There's no point in denying reality. Women want a man she feels can lead her, and men want a woman that drops his jaw.
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Only very young, inexperienced men want that.

My job has dropped before. Then I hung around long enough to hear the jaw dropper run her jaw, and I started being grateful I was single and free.

There's nothing like a pretty lady with an ugly attitude to make one appreciate being single.

The older you get, the less it matters how much your jaw drops and the more it matters what comes out when she runs her jaw.
 
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