@HopeinHim98I see that you deleted your post. Hopefully, that is because God convicted you of lying.
No it was 100% truly how I felt. I didn't want everything to get brought up here that's why I deleted it. But oh well, everything will all come out one day anyway so it's okay.
Saying that she deleted her post because "hopefully God convicted her of lying" is about the most profound example of spiritual gaslighting I have ever seen.
To the audience out there, if someone is doing this to you, please, get help.
@HopeinHim98,
@Snackersmom,
@Magenta, thank you ladies for being brave enough to post.
I figured if I was the only one answering all this, people would just figure I was crazy or trying to embark on some kind of personal smear campaign, but I'm doing this to try to give others hope and an example of how to stand up for themselves, too.
I am thankful to those courageous enough to share.
I have had at least 4 women come to me personally in PM about all of these exact things in the years that Live has been here. I'll call him Live because I don't know what his actual name is. I know he said Tom, but I was actually surprised when he used the name Tom -- because some of the other ladies who have confided in me mentioned him by a different name. So, I honestly don't know what the truth is.
Of the at least 4 women who have directly PM'ed me, at least 3 others were mentioned who reported having the exact same experience. I apologize first hand to anyone who feels let down by me sharing this, and I understand if you are angry with me, but please know it's not without a lot of inner struggle. I take it as an honor when someone confides in me and I certainly don't ever want to betray that.
I have prayed and agonized many nights over the years about whether I could say anything or help in this situation. For anyone going through something similar to what's described in these posts, please don't be afraid to reach out to RoboOp or OnceFallen. You could also contact a CC member you trust.
If you don't have PM abilities, you might be able to write a message on that person's profile, or tag that person in a thread and ask them to contact you. Make the message about something completely unrelated -- "Seoulsearch, can I tell you about my Bible class today? I wanted to get your opinion on something..." so that no one has to know what it's about.
Now, the solution might very well be putting someone on Ignore and that might be the end of it.
I have stated this many times, but the reason I don't use Ignore myself is because it's impossible to write threads and fully participate in them if you can't see what everyone answers.
And as I've said, for anyone who feels I'm being unfair and handling this improperly, I can understand your perspective. To the ladies who have confided in me, if this disappoints you, I sincerely apologize.
But I am putting all of this out in the open with the hope that it might help others guard themselves and know what to do if they find themselves in a situation they're not comfortable with.
As Christians, it's hard, because we want to help. We feel as if we're failing when someone tells us we're not accepting certain things they want us to accept. And they are more than quick to pounce on how "un-Christian" we are being for not doing so.
Many years ago, a young woman in her 20's wrote me and said, "One thing I appreciate in the threads is that if someone is going after you, you don't back down. That's taught me a lot about boundaries, and how to stand up for myself."
For anyone out there who has someone who identifies as a Christian and is trying to overstep your boundaries, please, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, and don't be afraid to get help, no matter how much they say they're doing it in the name of the Lord.
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