What I realize is that Seoul brought up that past experience, and I sought to address it privately with her in the hope of reconciliation...as Jesus instructed his disciples. You know, go to them FIRST before getting anybody else involved. Anyhow, if you were a true friend of Seoul, then your comments would have been directed towards her. After all, she is the one who is harboring unforgiveness in her heart...and for 2 years and 9 months to boot.
Sounds like your resume to me, Lynx. Far from causing trouble, I have actively sought reconciliation for almost 3 years now. She refuses to forgive. You know what Jesus taught about that, don't you? Stop being a lap cat, and try being her true friend by telling her that she is wrong for harboring unforgiveness in her heart.
I have really tried to restrain from posting too much here, but as I was praying on my way home from work, I told God, I'm sorry if this is too much -- please deal with me however you have to, but I think I need to say something.
One of the reasons I've been torn is because I never want to betray the people who have chosen to confide in me, but I feel this must be said.
First, yes, you are the one who seems to keep pursuing me for some kind of reconciliation. You PM'ed me (I did not approach you,) under a new name you had here and didn't tell me who you were, but as you can see, the regulars always know. We just exchanged casual messages, nothing more. I answered to be polite. You keep talking about a "reconciliation" -- but there is nothing to reconcile. We were never friends.
Your first approach is always very friendly and helpful. But after some time, if you don't get the specific responses you're looking for, then to you, it means the other person is doing something wrong. You always insists that you only want to help. But to you, the other person always misunderstands, misconstrues, and mistakes your good intentions, all to your detriment. You then proceed to tell them every which way that they are misperceiving you, without ever taking in what they are saying to you in return.
I'm mentioning this because we have a lot of discussions on the forum about how to stay in our walk with Christ, how to not harbor unforgiveness, but still know when to let people go. We are not required to keep everyone in our life, or even communicate with them. If anything, Lynx and Cinder will tell you the thing I agonize most over is not helping people enough and feeling I'm failing if I don't try hard enough. But I know there are times when you have to let go and cut people off.
I am asking you to let me go. Please do not contact me in future names under PM, and if you can help it, please do not come after me in the forums. I know this can be unavoidable because it's a public space, but what I mean is, I'm beginning to feel like I'm being stalked.
It's one of those situations where yes, someone might have what they believe are the best intentions, but for your own reason, you say, "That's so kind of you, thank you, but I'm good," and that person continues to try to force themselves into your circle.
And suddenly, they start showing up where you work. Where you hang out. Anywhere they can get your attention. They start sliding into your PM's, and you try to be polite, but still, they persist. And when that isn't enough, they start telling your friends, "Hey, if you were REALLY her friend, you'd tell her stop holding her unforgiveness -- and listen to me! Get her to accept all this effort I'm making to try to reconcile with her! It's what Jesus teaches us!"
The reason Cinder and Lynx are my friends is because if anything, they scold me enough to keep me out of toxic situations rather than trying to push me into them.
And I am losing count of the number of women here on this site who have approached me in PM about you following the exact same patterns with them (over a period of years, not just in the time of this thread.) And I have agonized over saying something because some wanted me to go to the moderator, citing that I was well-known here and might be believed enough to have something done about it.
But I told them, I can't. If you want to say something, you have to go to them yourself, because I can't do or say anything just based on what I've been told. I can only go on my own experience.
So yes, these exchanges in this thread are very much an example of my experience with you -- repeatedly. The only thing that changes is the current name you're calling yourself and what thread it's in.
You told me to ask God if you would ever lie to me.
As I told you, I ask God about everything (as if I can't come up with that genius idea on my own.)
And I believe God told me, "He BELIEVES he would never lie to you." And I sincerely believe that.
But whether you believe you would never lie and what you actually do... are two very different things. Normally, yes, I would do this in private. But so many others have had similar problems, that I felt it was important to give an example here of one way to handle this if anyone else should encounter it.
I understand I might be letting some people down here, and I do pray they can forgive me, but I feel there's just no other way to say what I feel needed to be said. If I ever do need to go to a moderator, I will simply direct them to this thread, let that suffice, and accept whatever their decision may be.
I am asking you, among our Christian brethren as witnesses, please stop trying to force your way into some kind of friendship or even communication with me.
And please stop cutting down the people who are actually my real friends, whom I may have met here on the forum, but now fly across the country to spend time with in real life.