Hi,
There have been 3 pages of posts since I looked yesterday!
No it's not a British forum. It's open to the world.
There are a handful of Brits, at least one Spaniard & one Canadian. A German, a lady from India and I think a couple of So Africans, who I see posting regularly but the contributors are mostly in the USA. American Christians are easy to interact with though, no real problems. Some of the most open people in the world. It's just that some lack cultural understanding of other parts of the world. Sometimes definitions vary & can cause confusion.
I can't advise on the Salvation Army Church. I have no experience of it. I wouldn't care to recommend any particular denomination.
Although there are some I would avoid. But each church is different. You have to find the one local to you that you are happy with.
I'm not a fan of very big congregations myself but I would attend a big church occasionally. You might prefer a big church.
So you've reached Joshua which means you've read about Abraham & Moses. Abraham's willingness to sacrifice Isaac and the Passover are (among other things) foreshadows of the sacrifice of Jesus. I expect you know that but head-knowledge doesn't always engage the heart.
Don't let yourself be too discouraged. We all have problems & sticking points. This very thing may be the element of your walk with Jesus that is personally necessary for you. I reckon you'll have that 'eureka moment' at some point when The Holy Spirit reveals to you what you've been seeking. And it may be you who helps someone else with this same issue in the future. You'll know how to sympathise because you've walked through the same area of doubt yourself. The Holy Spirit will guide you.
The book of Job is a good book to read for those who think there may be something wrong with their walk. Job went as far as to accuse God of being unfair. There is nothing in the range of human doubt & belief that God hasn't experienced before.
Regarding the actual point you are grappling with. The sacrifice. I don't know what your age group or life experience is but have you ever read A Tale of Two Cities? We have there at the end of the novel, a hero who goes willingly to the guillotine in order to allow someone else to live. Someone he loves.
Although we accept Jesus as The Son of God & we speak in terms of Father, Son & Holy Spirit, these are not separate gods. God is one. Jesus is God. The same God who guided Israel by the pillar of cloud. He laid his life down willingly. God hasn't demanded a horrible bloody sacrifice of anyone but himself.
Innocence has to die for innocence to live anew. Every time you eat, innocence has died in order to nourish your body.
Even if you are vegetarian. A plant has still died in order that you might continue to live. That's a bit philosophical but
I can see it everywhere. His signature is on all creation and his sacrifice was to save all creation. The story doesn't end at the
bloody cross. It only begins there! And you are going to be fine. I'm rambling though.
Sorry.