I am single and searching, I am single but not searching, I am single till the day I find. Which one are you?

[Edith]

Somethings people say a lot to singles are; don't be desperate for marriage, marriage is not what you see, don't say you are searching, You sound desperate when you say you are single. Even here at CC we can't outrightly put-up a post for searching.

Personally I think the society has guilt-trip singles to silence. Due to these we find.
Rebellious singles like me who would not care to say they are single and searching . "And I believe it has nothing desperate in it. It is a fact"

We have those who can't say they are searching so they say, if I find I find, if not ok.

And there are those who are not searching. because they just don't want and that is strength.

So Which one are you?

If you are single searching like some of us tell us then, What Are You Looking For? not necessarily on CC.
How have you been searching?

If you are shy to say you are searching. You can say it here on CC we will not judge you?

i actually am not expecting much from this post. just making a conversation and hoping to have a good time reading. If you also know how I go about searching you can ask me.

Gracias

 

[Lynx]

I am indolent. Therefore I have no energy I want to waste searching. I DO have energy, but I don't want to spend it on that.

I could search for a lady, and maybe find one. But I'd have to ask myself, why am I searching? When I found her would it be love, or just trying to fill a need I think I have? Nah, I'd rather just wait until I do find her. Then I will know it is love.

Besides, I don't really think I NEED someone. It would be nice, but I seem to be doing just fine as I am. And I never have been a big fan of upgrading - car, computer, life, anything - just because someone told me I should. I only upgrade my laptop if I have a reason to.

 

[MsMediator]

I was actively searching, but then took a pause which basically came to a stop due to both laziness (as the process can be tiring) and also being content. I don't think there is anything wrong with actively searching, especially if they have a very strong desire for a spouse and/or children (or lust issues). I know a lot of women want to meet someone so they feel loved by a man, if you know what I mean (I don't really have that deep need to be loved by a man). However if a woman has this type of strong need for a man, it might be okay or it may not be (she could have some underlying issues).

 

[enril]

opt. 2. single and no plans to ever chang. but God seems to have a sense of humor so you never know lol

 

[Edith]

I am indolent. Therefore I have no energy I want to waste searching. I DO have energy, but I don't want to spend it on that.

I could search for a lady, and maybe find one. But I'd have to ask myself, why am I searching? When I found her would it be love, or just trying to fill a need I think I have? Nah, I'd rather just wait until I do find her. Then I will know it is love.

Besides, I don't really think I NEED someone. It would be nice, but I seem to be doing just fine as I am. And I never have been a big fan of upgrading - car, computer, life, anything - just because someone told me I should. I only upgrade my laptop if I have a reason to.

I recognize this kind of saying.
It comes from a heart full with Christ.
Christ makes you contented to a point you are fine alone and fine with others too. so I dedicate (I don't know if this word is used in English but in french it's dedicace) this song to you.
"I want more of You" by Spinach
I find it difficult to upload but you can fine it on YouTube.
More Grace brother

 

[Edith]

I

I was actively searching, but then took a pause which basically came to a stop due to both laziness (as the process can be tiring) and also being content. I don't think there is anything wrong with actively searching, especially if they have a very strong desire for a spouse and/or children (or lust issues). I know a lot of women want to meet someone so they feel loved by a man, if you know what I mean (I don't really have that deep need to be loved by a man). However if a woman has this type of strong need for a man, it might be okay or it may not be (she could have some underlying issues).

I totally agree
I don't know if women have lust issues. but I am kind of convinced because last evening I was watching a show, Five so called Christian women were discussing on Vibrate*r, And it was said every single woman owns one and I was disgusted. Out of 5 women only one found it strange.
if a person is contented because they replaced man with machine then that's not contentment. it's saying God the one you made is not good. You are right to say there may be an underlying issue.

I recommend marriage than burn with Passion.

Also it's not only women, Men too have that need. The need for companionship is a need given by God. God is the mastermind behind the yearn people feel.

More Grace dear

 

[seoulsearch]

I used to be Single And Desperately Not Wanting To Be, but God has changed me to Single, Trying To Follow His Will, and Learning Content.

I used to want to be married more than anything.

Now, as I see all the issues married people are facing (especially blended families and getting older, having to take care of multiple families at once, etc.), I'm not as anxious about being single as I used to be.

And now my hope is to try to also give hope to others that Even If Life Didn't Turn Out How You Hoped, we still serve a God of hope.

What I'm learning though, is that over time, He might just change our hopes to focus on other things.

Great thread as always, @Edith!

 

[MsMediator]

I

I totally agree
I don't know if women have lust issues. but I am kind of convinced because last evening I was watching a show, Five so called Christian women were discussing on Vibrate*r, And it was said every single woman owns one and I was disgusted. Out of 5 women only one found it strange.
if a person is contented because they replaced man with machine then that's not contentment. it's saying God the one you made is not good. You are right to say there may be an underlying issue.

I recommend marriage than burn with Passion.

Also it's not only women, Men too have that need. The need for companionship is a need given by God. God is the mastermind behind the yearn people feel.

More Grace dear

Yes that is disgusting. I have also heard that men buy similar items which resemble the lady part, which is even more disgusting.

 

[Edith]

I used to be Single And Desperately Not Wanting To Be, but God has changed me to Single, Trying To Follow His Will, and Learning Content.

I used to want to be married more than anything.

Now, as I see all the issues married people are facing (especially blended families and getting older, having to take care of multiple families at once, etc.), I'm not as anxious about being single as I used to be.

And now my hope is to try to also give hope to others that Even If Life Didn't Turn Out How You Hoped, we still serve a God of hope.

What I'm learning though, is that over time, He might just change our hopes to focus on other things.

Great thread as always, @Edith!

And I can testify that you are a great influence when it comes to giving hope to others. Thank you

 

[Edith]

opt. 2. single and no plans to ever chang. but God seems to have a sense of humor so you never know lol

He certainly does. Even some of us who are single and searching God may just ask us to stop searching.

 

[Texasgal]

It’s no fun being a widow, but when the years go by, and the grandkids arrive, while one still can work, party and etc, there’s not really an urgent need for a new spouse.

 

[Elizabeth35]

I am single and not searching, but I am open to the love and marriage God has for me (I know I don't have the gift of singleness).

I had been searching but it was a nightmare. Those experiences of searching gave me a lot to think about. For that I am grateful. I am taking time right now to work on myself and build a fulfilling life of my own. When the right time comes I believe God will direct me to be where I need to be. But for right now, I'm happy where I am.

I do agree there can be some cynicism when a single person says they want to get married. Singles get judged no matter what lol.

How do you go about searching @Edith ?

 

[Snackersmom]

Yes that is disgusting. I have also heard that men buy similar items which resemble the lady part, which is even more disgusting.

Waaaaiiit.... why is it MORE disgusting when men do it?

Not searching for a graphic answer or anything, just curious what happened to equality!

 

[MsMediator]

Waaaaiiit.... why is it MORE disgusting when men do it?

Not searching for a graphic answer or anything, just curious what happened to equality!

A bit too much detail but since you asked, they can use their own hand but instead they want something even more excessive. It is more understandable why women would need a device.

 

[Snackersmom]

A bit too much detail but since you asked, they can use their own hand but instead they want something even more excessive. It is more understandable why women would need a device.

I still don't get why it's more disgusting, seems pretty equal but ok!

 

[AutumnBreeze]

I'm similar to most of you--single and not actively searching. I like how seoulsearch said that no matter how it turns out, God is still the God of hope. And Lynx saying not having energy specifically for searching--definitely there, too! Fourteen nieces and nephews take up enough time already. I wouldn't have it any other way!

 

[enril]

I still don't get why it's more disgusting, seems pretty equal but ok!

either way it is disgusting. (i mean, not any more than s**) more so it is wrong morrally. these things are a source of shame even in the depravity of our modern world. its really just a matter of perspective which is worse. they are the same thing. just a different form of the same evil. btw, not that you need to know but men use vibrate*s too. a thing mostly of the past for me.

 

[Snackersmom]

either way it is disgusting. (i mean, not any more than s**) more so it is wrong morrally. these things are a source of shame even in the depravity of our modern world. its really just a matter of perspective which is worse. they are the same thing. just a different form of the same evil. btw, not that you need to know but men use vibrate*s too. a thing mostly of the past for me.

Hi enril! To be clear, I am not defending the use of those items for males OR females. I think they cheapen sex down to a purely carnal act, when God designed it to be SO much more...... in the right context it promotes bonding, trust, safety, protection, emotional intimacy, (just to name a few), plus (of course) the creation of kids......Ya can't have any of that with a vibrator (or whatever other devices people use, I'm really not up to speed on that stuff!)

My curiosity was purely regarding the lack of equity. Perhaps it is indeed "more disgusting" for males but I don't really see why. Kind of like how pornography is often seen as "worse" than those trashy romance novels, but really they are just different forms of the same evil .

Anyways, all the best, and I'm thankful The Lord is setting you free from those things!

 

[enril]

Hi enril! To be clear, I am not defending the use of those items for males OR females. I think they cheapen sex down to a purely carnal act, when God designed it to be SO much more...... in the right context it promotes bonding, trust, safety, protection, emotional intimacy, (just to name a few), plus (of course) the creation of kids......Ya can't have any of that with a vibrator (or whatever other devices people use, I'm really not up to speed on that stuff!)

My curiosity was purely regarding the lack of equity. Perhaps it is indeed "more disgusting" for males but I don't really see why. Kind of like how pornography is often seen as "worse" than those trashy romance novels, but really they are just different forms of the same evil .

Anyways, all the best, and I'm thankful The Lord is setting you free from those things!

actually lol i was trying to explain how is is seen and etc, as someone who has been there but now I have no idea how i thought i got there (still)lol

 

[Lynx]

Hi enril! To be clear, I am not defending the use of those items for males OR females. I think they cheapen sex down to a purely carnal act, when God designed it to be SO much more...... in the right context it promotes bonding, trust, safety, protection, emotional intimacy, (just to name a few), plus (of course) the creation of kids......Ya can't have any of that with a vibrator (or whatever other devices people use, I'm really not up to speed on that stuff!)

My curiosity was purely regarding the lack of equity. Perhaps it is indeed "more disgusting" for males but I don't really see why. Kind of like how pornography is often seen as "worse" than those trashy romance novels, but really they are just different forms of the same evil .

Anyways, all the best, and I'm thankful The Lord is setting you free from those things!

Quote from a scientist:

Scientific discoveries are like sex. Sure there may be some practical applications, but that's not why we do it.