How Willing/Good Would You Be At Accepting A Completely Different Love Language Than Your Own?

[ATSTD]

If not for the caffeine, why would someone want coffee?

Taste.

For a while, I just loved the taste of coffee.

Eventually, I stopped drinking it all together.

I noticed I can work more efficiently and longer without coffee, than when I do drink coffee. So it made sense to stop.

 

[Suze]

Suze, I love your open, honest posts about marriage. Please, keep teaching us!!!

The thing that was on my mind the most when writing this thread wasn't just about learning to love others in their own language, but learning to accept the language in which they love you.

For instance, I've known a lot of people who grew up with a parent who figured their presence or job was enough -- they felt that if the parent always came home and provided everything that was needed, their child should have no reason to doubt their love.

But maybe that child needed words of affirmation -- and never got them. How many people do we know who are broken as adults, sometimes going through therapy, because they didn't receive the love language of their choice/personal need when they were growing up?

So then I think about that adult marrying yet someone else who speaks another "love language" and has to adjust...

What must it be like for the people who are never able to have their own love language needs met throughout their lives?

And how do they cope?

A lot of lonely souls out there , I try to remember to b kind to everyone but I don't always manage it . Giving someone a smile or chatting for a few minutes can make a big difference to someone who is lonely . I know I've needed that at times in my life . A bit of eye contact , share a joke , talk about the weather , make a connection . We all need to feel as if we r being seen and heard , if u live on your own u may not get to speak to anyone for days . People can genuinely start to feel as if they r invisible and no one should feel like that . We Christians r so privileged to know the Truth , it's easy to forget that there r so many people out there that have no idea how much they r loved by God . God is love and if we can show someone the love of God , which should b in us , then we r doing our duty and we may cheer someone up a bit , if only for a minute . That minute of friendly contact can b very precious to the person who has to go home to an empty house .

 

[JohnDB]

If not for the caffeine, why would someone want coffee?

Because I like the taste.
Part of the chemical makeup of coffee is the same as in chocolate....a very distinctive flavor and taste.
But it's got to be good coffee. Cheap coffee is practically devoid of it.

 

[CarriePie]

Coffee is definitely about the taste for me.

The caffeine doesn't effect me. Probably because I've been drinking coffee most of my life lol. I can go right to sleep right after a mug of it. Heck, I'll go to sleep in the middle of a mug lol.

To me personally, decaf is ghastly tasting.

 

[Cameron143]

Because I like the taste.
Part of the chemical makeup of coffee is the same as in chocolate....a very distinctive flavor and taste.
But it's got to be good coffee. Cheap coffee is practically devoid of it.

Some people give up drinking but still like the flavor of beer and drink nonalcoholic beer. I only drink flavored coffee. Straight coffee is too bitter for me.

 

[seoulsearch]

Some people give up drinking but still like the flavor of beer and drink nonalcoholic beer. I only drink flavored coffee. Straight coffee is too bitter for me.

I know this is going to get me stoned by the real coffee drinkers, but I only like coffee -- when it's to the point where it pretty much no longer resembles coffee.

You know, like this:



Or, even better yet, how about this!

 

[Cameron143]

I know this is going to get me stoned by the real coffee drinkers, but I only like coffee -- when it's to the point where it pretty much no longer resembles coffee.

You know, like this:

View attachment 275410

Or, even better yet, how about this!

You're on to something. Some people have the gift of being able to make a dessert of anything. I have the gift of turning any project into an ashtray.

 

[RodB651]

I know this is going to get me stoned by the real coffee drinkers, but I only like coffee -- when it's to the point where it pretty much no longer resembles coffee.

Oh dear... 🤦

 

[CarriePie]

Some people give up drinking but still like the flavor of beer and drink nonalcoholic beer. I only drink flavored coffee. Straight coffee is too bitter for me.

I like the taste of beer, including nonalcoholic beer. I don't drink it often. One in a while, I get a beer at the nearby store or have a Modelo at the nearby Mexican eatery.

I blame my grandmother. She loved beer and she built and ran a bar. One day I saw her giving my baby cousin a drink of beer. I asked, "Do you think that's a good idea?" She replied, "It's good for them! I gave you beer when you were a baby." I thought to myself, this explains some things

 

[seoulsearch]

I know this is going to get me stoned by the real coffee drinkers, but I only like coffee -- when it's to the point where it pretty much no longer resembles coffee.

You know, like this:

View attachment 275410

Or, even better yet, how about this!

Oh dear... 🤦

Put that stone down, Mr. Rodney! 🪨💎😁🤣

 

[JohnDB]

Coffee is definitely about the taste for me.

The caffeine doesn't effect me. Probably because I've been drinking coffee most of my life lol. I can go right to sleep right after a mug of it. Heck, I'll go to sleep in the middle of a mug lol.

To me personally, decaf is ghastly tasting.

When I had my DNA analysis done by pub med they mentioned that there exists genes people have that quickly metabolize caffeine and alcohol. Meaning the mild stimulant or depressants are very short-lived in some people.

The caffeine addiction really doesn't cause a problem but the alcohol gene leads to alcoholism.
The caffeine gene does also lead to nicotine dependency. FWIW.

 

[Suze]

Over the years, I've felt that the "love languages" were over emphasized. I felt it created a situation to argue about. It seemed like most married couples were fine till they read the book. Now they need counseling because they read something that made them think they had issues when they really didn't. But, I don't know. Maybe it really is something to ponder.

Quality time and acts of service are two that I work on personally. I've been divorced around ten years now and I've thought about this a lot. I think "Physical touch" would be easy for most guys cause we like to touch and be touched (No, I'm not talking about that kinda touching. Oh you people! 😆). I think the real trick for me personally would be could I sit in the room with this lady and have conversations and just enjoy having the conversations and being with her. Could I do that without sitting by her, holding her hand, or anything like that? Can we just enjoy each others company without any expectation of something more private later? I'm saying this in a marital context.

I also think that at this point in life, if I met someone and her personality was such that she needed quiet time or maybe even her own separate bedroom, I would be ok with that. I like my alone time to. We could live under the same roof but with different rooms... We could have date nights and such...

Hey Baby, your room or mine??? 😎😁

Love language ? 😆😆😆 Hubby once said to me ' it doesn't matter to me how old u get because I know what u really look like ' 😲🤨 he thought that was a compliment !

 

[Edith]

I have no idea.

I reckon when I find her, we'll figure it out then.

However... Seeing as how I have been single 46 years so far, if she doesn't speak whatever my love language turns out to be, I reckon I'll manage. I have managed this long without anybody talking it.

I think people constantly change, based on if they trust someone or not. Once I stop trusting someone, I start to really distancing myself from them.

If I am comfortable and trust someone, then all the love languages come into play.

When I was younger, before 26, I loved receiving gifts, I loved physical touch, I loved affirmation, I wasn’t much of an acts of service person, other than maybe a girlfriend giving me a ride home if I wasn’t driving but I always really enjoyed quality time.

Even though, I enjoy quality time; I like my alone time also, as well as plenty of time to work on my ministry.

I agree a hundred percent