Hi all. I joined this forum recently in search of understanding of what happened to me and if it can be remedied. I tend to get long winded when I try to type this out so I will try my best to keep my statements concise as I can
I fell from a solid Biblical walk into mysticism, trusting experiences and adding to God’s Words. It was a gradual process filled with much rationalizing of my actions. The entire thing seemed from my end like a pursuit of God. The results have been horrific and near unbelievable.
It began after fasting and praying for 7 days. I began having “experiences” for the first time in my Christian walk. I began hearing a voice. The voice would convince me to read certain portions of scripture over and over. Eventually I would have an “experience” where I was “shown” an allegory in those scriptures. This happened 4 times in separate portions of scripture. What was conveyed in those allegories was supposedly a solution for the very old debate concerning freewill/God’s sovereignty. This would continue with many accompanying experiences that had me believing this was truly of God. By the time It became apparent that this was not of God I was already compromised.
I now hear voices continuously, wake up every night having terrifying “spiritual experiences”, my peace has been replaced with fear and am filled internally with confusion. It’s now been 2+ yrs since this began. I have begun believing that I am damned. It seems nothing is able to remedy the problem.
I am simply trying to get back to a right walk with God, but everything is off inside of me now. Is this some sort of stronghold? Am I in a trail? Did I lose my salvation? Was I tricked into adding to God’s Word by seeking experiential interpretation?
Please help me assess this Biblically. Thanks.
1Ti 4:1 Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils;
1Ti 4:2 Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron.
2Ti 4:2 Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.
2Ti 4:3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;
2Ti 4:4 And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.
The new age that interprets the Bible and religions according to the occult and evolution, and people are going to evolve to be spiritual, and greater, and Jesus became an ascended master among others, and there is no personal God, but they honor the God of forces the power of the Cosmos, and the New Age Christ is the next world teacher.
The time will come that people will not want to hear the truth of the Bible but want to hear it according to the new age.
Do not follow the deception of a mystical, occult interpretation of the Bible which will increase in popularity that will deceive the world, and cause them to establish that in the world and stopping the truth from being preached which causes God to end sin on earth.
You might have evil spirits messing with you or you stressed out your mind.
The devil cannot read our thoughts like we cannot read phone waves, radio waves, and the such with our minds, but he can see our actions and tempt in that area.
It will be alright if you repent and want nothing to do with that stuff.
The Bible says God gives us power, love, and a sound mind, and resist the devil and he will flee from you.
If you allow the Spirit to lead you and hate sin you can abstain from sin and be delivered from temptation and will have peace, love, and joy, and put you in the right mindset.
I think you might have stressed out your mind during this ordeal and a stressed out mind will have thoughts that are more intense, and more hard to control, and thoughts that repeat, which a person that has OCD they say has stress.
You might be worried too much going over it and is keeping you in a stressed out state.
Which how is a person to be healed if they are doing it to themselves.
Relax and let it go if you are worrying about it.
If you keep going over the same thoughts worrying about it it is like lifting weights where if you lift it enough times your muscles will get stressed where you cannot lift it anymore.
It can happen if you are not stressed and go over something and get to the point where you cannot understand it any further but you want to keep pursuing it thinking there might be more and then get stressed out.
I try to understand until no more ideas come up and then stop and leave it alone and pursue it like 2 days later if I want.
Do not try to understand it going over it for you will boggle your mind.
Which there is nothing to understand it is what you did and it is over so let it go and let your mind relax.
I do not know but it seems like that is what it is.
You threw your mind off balance which I think is your fault for not dealing with it right.
We would not analyze stealing something for it is simple we stole something so let it go.
You probably have shame and guilt hindering your mental well being but you need to let it go for it is over.
You realized your mistake and want to be right with God and it is a sin like all sins and it is over.
I believe it is stress and if you have stressed out your mind a lot thoughts can pop up a lot and be intense and since you had this ordeal those thoughts could be popping up.
Which seems like from worrying about that you do not want it.
Because that can happen if we worry too much about thoughts coming up that we don't want they can come up.
Why, because we are always wondering if they will come up causing us to think about it and we are beating up our heads to not want to think about it and are stressing ourselves out which the thoughts will come up.
And if they come up it is no big deal for it is something you did and you do not want it anymore.
If I steal and do not want it I am not going to beat my head up because I do not want it to pop up for that makes it worse.
Then it would hinder your mind from thinking somewhat as you try to stifle it hindering other thoughts from being clear.
Also there is no difference between me having thoughts about scraping my knee, playing baseball, stealing a pair of pants, for they are things I did so they will pop up.
Do not be scared about the thoughts making it worse and relax and keep your mind thinking about other things and eventually you will not notice those thoughts because they are not popping up and if they do they are less intense and not out of control.