Help me understand Biblically what went wrong..

[88Case88]

Hi all. I joined this forum recently in search of understanding of what happened to me and if it can be remedied. I tend to get long winded when I try to type this out so I will try my best to keep my statements concise as I can

I fell from a solid Biblical walk into mysticism, trusting experiences and adding to God’s Words. It was a gradual process filled with much rationalizing of my actions. The entire thing seemed from my end like a pursuit of God. The results have been horrific and near unbelievable.

It began after fasting and praying for 7 days. I began having “experiences” for the first time in my Christian walk. I began hearing a voice. The voice would convince me to read certain portions of scripture over and over. Eventually I would have an “experience” where I was “shown” an allegory in those scriptures. This happened 4 times in separate portions of scripture. What was conveyed in those allegories was supposedly a solution for the very old debate concerning freewill/God’s sovereignty. This would continue with many accompanying experiences that had me believing this was truly of God. By the time It became apparent that this was not of God I was already compromised.

I now hear voices continuously, wake up every night having terrifying “spiritual experiences”, my peace has been replaced with fear and am filled internally with confusion. It’s now been 2+ yrs since this began. I have begun believing that I am damned. It seems nothing is able to remedy the problem.

I am simply trying to get back to a right walk with God, but everything is off inside of me now. Is this some sort of stronghold? Am I in a trail? Did I lose my salvation? Was I tricked into adding to God’s Word by seeking experiential interpretation?

Please help me assess this Biblically. Thanks.

 

[ResidentAlien]

I fell from a solid Biblical walk into mysticism,

Can you share more about your previous walk. Describe your solid Biblical walk.

 

[88Case88]

Sure. About 14 years ago at the age of 23 I I came to faith in Jesus after dabbling in what I now know is witchcraft. I had a terrifying experience with a hallucinogen DMT and fled to the Bible afterwards. I came slowly because It was just me and a Bible.

I couldn’t give a date, but there was just a point in time where I knew that the Bible was the Word of God. I repented and went through an upheaval internally. I would begin experiencing a war in my mind like a torrent of unclean thoughts. Those struggles drove me into the Word. I would come to understand Who Jesus was and why He came. The doctrines concerning His person and works.

I learned of God, The Trinity, Jesus’ Diety and Humanity, Sin, His penal substitutionary atonement, God’s grace, salvation by faith, the imputation of His righteousness, the truths of salvation, sanctification and glorification….in short the entire Christian worldview. I held to the Bibles teachings on all matters concerning origins, meaning, morality and destiny.

I held the Word of God central to all matters of faith and practice. I understood the Bible in its plain meaning, letting the Word interpret itself, interpreting the more obscure passages in light of the more clear.

I grew in grace and the knowledge of Jesus and filled my heart with His promises. The desire of my Heart was to walk close with Jesus and to submit my will to His. I read my Bible often, and gave myself to prayer. I gave myself to teaching and sharing the Gospel. I was and am a member of a church since that time and I would eventually become the youngest member on the board of elders there.

I knew myself to be nothing in and of myself and found my value in Him.

The compromises that I mentioned would come after about 10 years as a believer. I began questioning whether or not I was missing something in my Christian walk. I was dry and doubtful about issues concerning the Holy Spirit. Whether or not God still speaks to men. I felt like I had no intimacy with God. I felt like I must be in error somewhere. That’s what would lead to eventual compromise.

 

[ChristRoseFromTheDead]

Perhaps you could be baptized (if you haven't been) or re-baptized as a sort of an external witness and demarcation point of repentance and new commitment? Off with the past, in with the new.

 

[88Case88]

Perhaps you could be baptized (if you haven't been) or re-baptized as a sort of an external witness and demarcation point of repentance and new commitment? Off with the past, in with the new.

I was baptized publicly as a profession of my faith.

 

[ResidentAlien]

Sure. About 14 years ago at the age of 23 I I came to faith in Jesus after dabbling in what I now know is witchcraft. I had a terrifying experience with a hallucinogen DMT and fled to the Bible afterwards. I came slowly because It was just me and a Bible.

I couldn’t give a date, but there was just a point in time where I knew that the Bible was the Word of God. I repented and went through an upheaval internally. I would begin experiencing a war in my mind like a torrent of unclean thoughts. Those struggles drove me into the Word. I would come to understand Who Jesus was and why He came. The doctrines concerning His person and works.

I learned of God, The Trinity, Jesus’ Diety and Humanity, Sin, His penal substitutionary atonement, God’s grace, salvation by faith, the imputation of His righteousness, the truths of salvation, sanctification and glorification….in short the entire Christian worldview. I held to the Bibles teachings on all matters concerning origins, meaning, morality and destiny.

I held the Word of God central to all matters of faith and practice. I understood the Bible in its plain meaning, letting the Word interpret itself, interpreting the more obscure passages in light of the more clear.

I grew in grace and the knowledge of Jesus and filled my heart with His promises. The desire of my Heart was to walk close with Jesus and to submit my will to His. I read my Bible often, and gave myself to prayer. I gave myself to teaching and sharing the Gospel. I was and am a member of a church since that time and I would eventually become the youngest member on the board of elders there.

I knew myself to be nothing in and of myself and found my value in Him.

The compromises that I mentioned would come after about 10 years as a believer. I began questioning whether or not I was missing something in my Christian walk. I was dry and doubtful about issues concerning the Holy Spirit. Whether or not God still speaks to men. I felt like I had no intimacy with God. I felt like I must be in error somewhere. That’s what would lead to eventual compromise.

Thanks for sharing. I know things like hallucinogens and witchcraft can take a heavy toll on a person, even years later. It sounds like you have a good grasp on the gospel of Christ but don't have a lot of peace. Try to find a way to be at peace with yourself and the Lord. You might have to make some major life changes; but it sounds like you're still young enough to do that. He said His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Give it all to Him and be at peace.

 

[ChristRoseFromTheDead]

I was baptized publicly as a profession of my faith.

OK, well first off, satan has no authority over you. Zero, nada, zilch. You died in Christ and are therefore dead to the devil. It doesn't matter what you've done. Just tell him to bug off.

Second, I suspect the real issue is unresolved spiritual issues in your mind. The fact that you were deeply involved with a church tells me that you experienced contradictions to the faith, that you have been unable to resolve consciously. That would explain the longing for something deeper that drove you to seek a more personal experience, that apparently got detached from a firm anchor in scripture. Don't worry about it; it just takes identifying what you did wrong and learning to not go that way anymore

You described your pre-faith life, but not what you went rhough in your mystical journey. If you are comfortable talking about that then maybe we can help you sort through it.

btw my nephew said he first became aware of God while doing DMT. He's turned his life around and attending church. i'm very impressed with his progress

 

[GRACE_ambassador]

I fell from a solid Biblical walk into mysticism

Precious friend, still "praying for you" = here

Amen.

 

[88Case88]

Since I mentioned my views on interpretation and ended up in the opposite direction; I want to describe that a bit as well how that came to be.

I took a particular interest in Old Testament typology for a bit. I found the symbolic types of Christ particularly fascinating. There are many examples I could cite but a clear one relevant to my thinking at the time was Paul’s reference in Galatians to Abraham having 2 sons, the bond and the free and those two were an allegory of the OT and the NT.

I rationalized that if the text plainly had two methods of interpretation existing; a plain and a symbolic then that at least established a precedent that two could exist. I did however see how dangerous of a prospect that was regarding the proper handling of God’s Word. I again rationalized that if it would be a breach of God’s Word for a man to force his own symbolic interpretation on a text, then it perhaps would not be if the Holy Spirit was in fact the One doing the revealing. I did further consider that Satan could use such an experience to corrupt God’s Word, but rather than that preventing me from rejecting the idea, I foolishly assumed that any plain meaning of the text would be the ultimate basis for judging a doctrine, and that it would be readily apparent and safe. Next I told myself that if the scriptures were sufficient, that perhaps that would include anything God intended to use in a special instance. So my final rationale was that I would approach the matter in an entirely exploratory way and retreat if I sensed some danger.

So there is my foolish reasoning. I can see how painfully stupid I was in hind site. I felt safe to explore in pursuit. I was lulled into a false security. I not only added to the Word, but the doctrine that I “received” from it seemingly made sense for giving an answer for the freewill/sovereignty issue, when it “seemed” to account for it in a new way that no one had previously discussed, I thought even more that it was real, but I have since determined that it should never be shared.

I now see that I was 100% tricked by Satan. The voices were telling me that there was going to be a controversy regarding the doctrine. I can honestly say that it would because it seemingly made sense, but I am convinced it is a lie. I am also now exposed to these supernatural experiences. It really really really stinks. I am a fool and I hope that the Lord will have mercy on me.

 

[GWH]

Hi all. I joined this forum recently in search of understanding of what happened to me and if it can be remedied. I tend to get long winded when I try to type this out so I will try my best to keep my statements concise as I can

I fell from a solid Biblical walk into mysticism, trusting experiences and adding to God’s Words. It was a gradual process filled with much rationalizing of my actions. The entire thing seemed from my end like a pursuit of God. The results have been horrific and near unbelievable.

It began after fasting and praying for 7 days. I began having “experiences” for the first time in my Christian walk. I began hearing a voice. The voice would convince me to read certain portions of scripture over and over. Eventually I would have an “experience” where I was “shown” an allegory in those scriptures. This happened 4 times in separate portions of scripture. What was conveyed in those allegories was supposedly a solution for the very old debate concerning freewill/God’s sovereignty. This would continue with many accompanying experiences that had me believing this was truly of God. By the time It became apparent that this was not of God I was already compromised.

I now hear voices continuously, wake up every night having terrifying “spiritual experiences”, my peace has been replaced with fear and am filled internally with confusion. It’s now been 2+ yrs since this began. I have begun believing that I am damned. It seems nothing is able to remedy the problem.

I am simply trying to get back to a right walk with God, but everything is off inside of me now. Is this some sort of stronghold? Am I in a trail? Did I lose my salvation? Was I tricked into adding to God’s Word by seeking experiential interpretation?

Please help me assess this Biblically. Thanks.

First we need to ask an obvious question: Were you and/or are you using drugs and alcohol?

 

[88Case88]

First we need to ask an obvious question: Were you and/or are you using drugs and alcohol?

No. I was not on drugs or alcohol. I repented and turned from that lifestyle long ago. It’s been 14 years since my conversion and experimenting with the DMT. This experience was born entirely of fasting and praying. I shut myself away from my wife and kids and basically prayed 7 days straight.

 

[GWH]

No. I was not on drugs or alcohol. I repented and turned from that lifestyle long ago. It’s been 14 years since my conversion and experimenting with the DMT. This experience was born entirely of fasting and praying. I shut myself away from my wife and kids and basically prayed 7 days straight.

Well, then perhaps you should not f&p so much that you divorce from wife and kids.

 

[ChristRoseFromTheDead]

Since I mentioned my views on interpretation and ended up in the opposite direction; I want to describe that a bit as well how that came to be.

I took a particular interest in Old Testament typology for a bit. I found the symbolic types of Christ particularly fascinating. There are many examples I could cite but a clear one relevant to my thinking at the time was Paul’s reference in Galatians to Abraham having 2 sons, the bond and the free and those two were an allegory of the OT and the NT.

I rationalized that if the text plainly had two methods of interpretation existing; a plain and a symbolic then that at least established a precedent that two could exist. I did however see how dangerous of a prospect that was regarding the proper handling of God’s Word. I again rationalized that if it would be a breach of God’s Word for a man to force his own symbolic interpretation on a text, then it perhaps would not be if the Holy Spirit was in fact the One doing the revealing. I did further consider that Satan could use such an experience to corrupt God’s Word, but rather than that preventing me from rejecting the idea, I foolishly assumed that any plain meaning of the text would be the ultimate basis for judging a doctrine, and that it would be readily apparent and safe. Next I told myself that if the scriptures were sufficient, that perhaps that would include anything God intended to use in a special instance. So my final rationale was that I would approach the matter in an entirely exploratory way and retreat if I sensed some danger.

So there is my foolish reasoning. I can see how painfully stupid I was in hind site. I felt safe to explore in pursuit. I was lulled into a false security. I not only added to the Word, but the doctrine that I “received” from it seemingly made sense for giving an answer for the freewill/sovereignty issue, when it “seemed” to account for it in a new way that no one had previously discussed, I thought even more that it was real, but I have since determined that it should never be shared.

I now see that I was 100% tricked by Satan. The voices were telling me that there was going to be a controversy regarding the doctrine. I can honestly say that it would because it seemingly made sense, but I am convinced it is a lie. I am also now exposed to these supernatural experiences. It really really really stinks. I am a fool and I hope that the Lord will have mercy on me.

Bro, I've gone way, way farther than you have. Way farther. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the things I've seen are true, but I refuse to talk about them, except in indirect ways. Paul said that he saw things that were not lawful for him to reveal openly. I think you need to back up and not assume that you were deceived. Just let it go, leave it alone and God will bring it back if it's important for you to know. Whatever you do, don't beat up on yourself for having the courage to step outside the box in faith.

 

[Karlon]

Hi all. I joined this forum recently in search of understanding of what happened to me and if it can be remedied. I tend to get long winded when I try to type this out so I will try my best to keep my statements concise as I can

I fell from a solid Biblical walk into mysticism, trusting experiences and adding to God’s Words. It was a gradual process filled with much rationalizing of my actions. The entire thing seemed from my end like a pursuit of God. The results have been horrific and near unbelievable.

It began after fasting and praying for 7 days. I began having “experiences” for the first time in my Christian walk. I began hearing a voice. The voice would convince me to read certain portions of scripture over and over. Eventually I would have an “experience” where I was “shown” an allegory in those scriptures. This happened 4 times in separate portions of scripture. What was conveyed in those allegories was supposedly a solution for the very old debate concerning freewill/God’s sovereignty. This would continue with many accompanying experiences that had me believing this was truly of God. By the time It became apparent that this was not of God I was already compromised.

I now hear voices continuously, wake up every night having terrifying “spiritual experiences”, my peace has been replaced with fear and am filled internally with confusion. It’s now been 2+ yrs since this began. I have begun believing that I am damned. It seems nothing is able to remedy the problem.

I am simply trying to get back to a right walk with God, but everything is off inside of me now. Is this some sort of stronghold? Am I in a trail? Did I lose my salvation? Was I tricked into adding to God’s Word by seeking experiential interpretation?

Please help me assess this Biblically. Thanks.

"a solid Biblical walk"? were you a born again Christian when this happened? b.a. Christians will recognize immediately if the devil is moving in with any temptations & cast him out. ( 1st Peter 5:7 & Psalms 55:22 ). i don't think you were a b.a. Christian. believing that you are damned is you yourself admitting defeat & forecasting failure in advance thus strengthening your condition response to the devil planting himself in your life. STOP BELIEVING THAT!!!! yes, the devil has detected a weak spot in you. if you are saved you can NEVER lose salvation. possibly, you were tricked,. Proverbs 30:6- "add thou NOT unto His words, lest He reprove thee & thou be found a liar"! become a b.a. Christian NOW & you are all set.

 

[88Case88]

No. I was not on drugs or alcohol. I repented and turned from that lifestyle long ago. It’s been 14 years since my conversion and experimenting with the DMT. This experience was born entirely of fasting and praying. I shut myself away from my wife and kids and basically prayed 7 days straight.

Furthermore I would add that I don’t believe this to be born of any mental health issues. I was of a clear and sober mind as I went into this. My self examinations have been honest and critical.

I did not mention here because it wasn’t relevant, but when these experiences began they came upon me and my wife. We both started having all sorts of weird things happening after I fasted.

She did not pray or fast or ever have any prior mystical experiences yet she began having vivid dreams every night about Jesus for over a month.

At the first experience for me, I heard a loud but inaudible voice shout, “you’re my son!” I fell down weeping and the voice said, “I am going to give you a life and a home and you’ll own neither” then it said, “Im going to blow through the church like a whirlwind”. That began months of strange occurrences. I could go on but ultimately I believe it’s almost irrelevant because I ended up being led into bondage. I found it to be contrary in many ways to the Word of God.

 

[88Case88]

"a solid Biblical walk"? were you a born again Christian when this happened? b.a. Christians will recognize immediately if the devil is moving in with any temptations & cast him out. ( 1st Peter 5:7 & Psalms 55:22 ). i don't think you were a b.a. Christian. believing that you are damned is you yourself admitting defeat & forecasting failure in advance thus strengthening your condition response to the devil planting himself in your life. STOP BELIEVING THAT!!!! yes, the devil has detected a weak spot in you. if you are saved you can NEVER lose salvation. possibly, you were tricked,. Proverbs 30:6- "add thou NOT unto His words, lest He reprove thee & thou be found a liar"! become a b.a. Christian NOW & you are all set.

I believe I was born again yet I always walked with a limp in the areas regarding security because I wrestled hard for years with blasphemous thoughts after accepting Jesus. It came on me all at once when I started reading my Bible. When I accepted Him it was like I could see and feel the creation worshipping Him for a while. It was like every color got brighter.

I was feeling like something was wrong from the beginning of this experience, but I just prayed and moved forward hoping that God would protect me.

I do see how compromised in faith I am now in my heart and it hurts really. I had demonic manifestations in me when people would pray over me and these rejoicing voices told me I was theirs now, that it was too late, that I am dead (spirituality speaking). It’s hard to stand on the truth of the Word when all my experiences are now CONTRARY to my understanding of what the enemy can do to a Christian.

Still clinging on to the Word tho. My heart just doesn’t seem to match my mind.

 

[GWH]

Furthermore I would add that I don’t believe this to be born of any mental health issues. I was of a clear and sober mind as I went into this. My self examinations have been honest and critical.

I did not mention here because it wasn’t relevant, but when these experiences began they came upon me and my wife. We both started having all sorts of weird things happening after I fasted.

She did not pray or fast or ever have any prior mystical experiences yet she began having vivid dreams every night about Jesus for over a month.

At the first experience for me, I heard a loud but inaudible voice shout, “you’re my son!” I fell down weeping and the voice said, “I am going to give you a life and a home and you’ll own neither” then it said, “Im going to blow through the church like a whirlwind”. That began months of strange occurrences. I could go on but ultimately I believe it’s almost irrelevant because I ended up being led into bondage. I found it to be contrary in many ways to the Word of God.

Weird is right!
If these hallucinations are not drug-induced, I can only suggest that you stop fasting, eat a healthy diet, exercise and
go on family activities, such as hiking or other recreation, having fun together and filling your minds with positive thoughts
that will crowd out the evil spirits (Matt. 12:43-45).

 

[Blade]

Hi all. I joined this forum recently in search of understanding of what happened to me and if it can be remedied. I tend to get long winded when I try to type this out so I will try my best to keep my statements concise as I can

I fell from a solid Biblical walk into mysticism, trusting experiences and adding to God’s Words. It was a gradual process filled with much rationalizing of my actions. The entire thing seemed from my end like a pursuit of God. The results have been horrific and near unbelievable.

It began after fasting and praying for 7 days. I began having “experiences” for the first time in my Christian walk. I began hearing a voice. The voice would convince me to read certain portions of scripture over and over. Eventually I would have an “experience” where I was “shown” an allegory in those scriptures. This happened 4 times in separate portions of scripture. What was conveyed in those allegories was supposedly a solution for the very old debate concerning freewill/God’s sovereignty. This would continue with many accompanying experiences that had me believing this was truly of God. By the time It became apparent that this was not of God I was already compromised.

I now hear voices continuously, wake up every night having terrifying “spiritual experiences”, my peace has been replaced with fear and am filled internally with confusion. It’s now been 2+ yrs since this began. I have begun believing that I am damned. It seems nothing is able to remedy the problem.

I am simply trying to get back to a right walk with God, but everything is off inside of me now. Is this some sort of stronghold? Am I in a trail? Did I lose my salvation? Was I tricked into adding to God’s Word by seeking experiential interpretation?

Please help me assess this Biblically. Thanks.

Hey... we are told to test the spirits. How does God move? Well what are the fruits of the spirit " But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control." that is how He moves. Now faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen. With out faith we cannot please God. That bible the word of GOD He cannot lie so OT He said who so ever calls on the name of the lord shall be delivered also means saved. Yeah its that easy. The enemy cannot tell the truth the truth is not in him. So God said greater is He that is in you then he that is in the world.

Its so easy to get back on the right path. Just tell Him.. missed it goofed up.... help me.. put me back on the right path. That easy. I can't stress the enough.. the enemy is a liar... greater is He that is in you then He that is in the world. You tell that enemy to leave in JESUS name.. there is not decussion here.. resist the devil and he has to flee. Its not based on how we feel what we see or hear.. you tell it to go in the name of JESUS. Peter and John man gets healed. After they said to the people.. why look at us as if we did this by our own power.. that name faith in that name healed this man.

No other .. nothing in all creation has the right the privilege to use His name Yeshua/Jesus Christ. Behold I give you power.. authority over ALL the power of the enemy. It really is that easy. The joy of the lord is your strength.. you are strong in the lord in the power of His might.. you put on the whole armor of God.. you have the peace of God which? You have Christ saying I leave you give you my peace not as the world gives. There is so much more.. its ALL Him.. Know not guess not wonder not man I hope so.. know when you speak that name above ever name.. the king of kings lord of lords.. Its HIM doing it not us.. so in Jesus name.. two shall agree. al the enemy has tossed out you has to go in Jesus name

 

[88Case88]

Well, then perhaps you should not f&p so much that you divorce from wife and kids.

It was an exception and not a rule. It was my first 7 day fast. I don’t think that a measure of set apart devotional time was the problem in and of itself, but I do appreciate you sharing your thoughts.

 

[88Case88]

Weird is right!
If these hallucinations are not drug-induced, I can only suggest that you stop fasting, eat a healthy diet, exercise and
go on family activities, such as hiking or other recreation, having fun together and filling your minds with positive thoughts
that will crowd out the evil spirits (Matt. 12:43-45).

Thanks I am ahead of you. Im at the gym 2 days a week. Hiking, walking, repelling, kayaking, camping, and swimming. Lots of activity.