If your friend was named Ho that would probably elicit a greater laugh response. 
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Flirting is Not a Sin, If You Do It Right
- Thread starter SteveEpperson
- Start date
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Someone already had the patent on that.
J
If your friend was named Ho that would probably elicit a greater laugh response.
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Excellent point. Since you and David are completely different people, you would use a different approach than him.
What troubles me is your use of the negative term "come-on line." But you're not alone. Many men, especially Christ followers, view flirting with a woman as a cumbersome exercise, only for the most vain, conceited, low-down, dirty, rotten, selfish guys who are only trying to score a one-night stand.
But keep in mind that most women love this sort of interaction. It distracts them from the reality of a horrible day at work or can merely brighten an already perfect morning. Either way, it's a safe way to have a first encounter, and it will give her a chance to gauge whether a first date would be worth her effort.
What troubles me is your use of the negative term "come-on line." But you're not alone. Many men, especially Christ followers, view flirting with a woman as a cumbersome exercise, only for the most vain, conceited, low-down, dirty, rotten, selfish guys who are only trying to score a one-night stand.
But keep in mind that most women love this sort of interaction. It distracts them from the reality of a horrible day at work or can merely brighten an already perfect morning. Either way, it's a safe way to have a first encounter, and it will give her a chance to gauge whether a first date would be worth her effort.
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Honestly, I don't think I've ever heard anyone at any time until now use the word "flirt" in a platonic sense or context- unless it's being used as an idiom: and even when it's being used as an idiom, it usually means something negative. ie "he/she was flirting with suicide". (or something else bad).
Maybe that's just an east-coast thing... idk; but I've never heard anyone describe these relatively basic social interactions as 'flirting'.
Maybe that's just an east-coast thing... idk; but I've never heard anyone describe these relatively basic social interactions as 'flirting'.
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Lesson #5
Listen up Guys and take notes.
See how direct Dottie is?
She lets PeeWee know that she's interested.
Pros like PW play it cool, mysterious bad boy, rebel type.
Fonzi could take lessons.
All those guys act tough in their BMX leathers, but PW has the simple confidence of a bow tie to accent his successful wool suit.
Go after the cat and she will run.
Ignore the >Cat< and it will come to you.😸
If someone hadn't taken his wheels,
Dottie would have paid for the movie, popcorn and drinks.
🚲😎👍👍
Listen up Guys and take notes.
See how direct Dottie is?
She lets PeeWee know that she's interested.
Pros like PW play it cool, mysterious bad boy, rebel type.
Fonzi could take lessons.
All those guys act tough in their BMX leathers, but PW has the simple confidence of a bow tie to accent his successful wool suit.
Go after the cat and she will run.
Ignore the >Cat< and it will come to you.😸
If someone hadn't taken his wheels,
Dottie would have paid for the movie, popcorn and drinks.
🚲😎👍👍
That is and was destructive for me. The ladies flocked towards me in droves to flirt. But they were leading me on. Even the women i have dated did that, it was taking everything and offering nothing back. I called it off three times. Flirting is not sincere most of the time it is done, especially on a woman's point of view. Because they want attention so they will do something to get it naturally. I have never seen flirting turn into a genuine faithful relationship.
After reading all the responses, I am glad everyone is open-minded. But we could be overthinking this a bit. After all, flirting is a spontaneous art form that you must develop over time. There are really no rules as long as you stay within God's boundaries.
Also I've never in my life heard of anyone referring to what you described, as flirting. Calling that flirting sounds creepy to me.
Don't think I've ever heard anyone call it a sin, either. Some don't agree with it, but not sin. There may be some out there but not many.
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Many men make the mistake of crossing the grey area between being kind and simply being a doormat for the woman. I used to do that years ago when I was younger. Eventually, I figured out how to be empowered to walk away from any non-marital relationship before I got to that point.
The key is to flirt with and date several women at once. Now, before you start hating me, let me explain.
On average, I "flirt" with between five and ten women per day. I know who is single and who to steer clear of, so I am careful. It's really saying nice things to them or complimenting them on something they are wearing. At any time, I could turn that into a romantic gesture, but for now, I'm happy to brighten someone's day.
I believe there's a right way to date and a wrong way. For example, most men ask a woman out, spend a ton of money on her, and hope they can make them a sexual partner or at least a steady girlfriend right away. This is a huge mistake.
Instead, if you are truly wanting to find the right partner to marry someday, you should date several women at the same time. By "date," I don't mean buying them an expensive dinner and then popping over to your place for a one-night-stand. What I mean is meeting them for coffee a few times simply to get to know them.
Never let a woman dictate the pace of the relationship. You need to be in charge of that.
In my next few posts, I'll show you what a first date should be like and how to eject from the airplane before you crash and burn.
The key is to flirt with and date several women at once. Now, before you start hating me, let me explain.
On average, I "flirt" with between five and ten women per day. I know who is single and who to steer clear of, so I am careful. It's really saying nice things to them or complimenting them on something they are wearing. At any time, I could turn that into a romantic gesture, but for now, I'm happy to brighten someone's day.
I believe there's a right way to date and a wrong way. For example, most men ask a woman out, spend a ton of money on her, and hope they can make them a sexual partner or at least a steady girlfriend right away. This is a huge mistake.
Instead, if you are truly wanting to find the right partner to marry someday, you should date several women at the same time. By "date," I don't mean buying them an expensive dinner and then popping over to your place for a one-night-stand. What I mean is meeting them for coffee a few times simply to get to know them.
Never let a woman dictate the pace of the relationship. You need to be in charge of that.
In my next few posts, I'll show you what a first date should be like and how to eject from the airplane before you crash and burn.
How many times have you been married?
I'm guessing zero. I mean there's an outside chance you have been married before and still believe this, but most guys learn better LONG before getting married.
I mean... I'm not married and even I know "Never let a woman dictate the pace of the relationship" doesn't work. Like, never. I've never seen it work at all.
I'm guessing zero. I mean there's an outside chance you have been married before and still believe this, but most guys learn better LONG before getting married.
I mean... I'm not married and even I know "Never let a woman dictate the pace of the relationship" doesn't work. Like, never. I've never seen it work at all.
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As a woman, I have to agree with Noel's post.
I love that that first thread post was thoughtful and detailed, but I couldn't help raising my eyebrows at the scenario of David asking Susan if she'd seen a blue horse around the church -- and her "giggling" in response.
I know it was just an example, and examples can be hard to come up with, but the comment about the "blue horse" would be more like something I would have gotten from the kids while working in the children's church. And the only time I would have "giggled" in response is if I were hearing it from a 7-year-old.
If a grown man said this to me, I would be concerned. Granted, I'm someone who spent two halves of my life in churches that were polar opposites -- ultra conservative WELS (Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod) and then the Assemblies of God, where there seemed to be a strong emphasis on recognizing and rebuking demons.
Now, I certainly wouldn't think the man had a demon or anything like that, but, being the overthinker that I am, I would definitely want to know WHY he was talking about blue horses and why they were appearing to him at church.
I know this probably sounds crazy in itself and some will say, "Silly Seoul, can't you just take a little joke?"
But I live in an area where alcohol and drug use is rampant, so as much of a party pooper as I might be, my very first concern would be whether or not this person was under the influence of something a bit more radical than just the Holy Spirit.
Granted, it COULD lead up to a very interesting and undoubtedly unforgettable introduction.
But if not given the time to properly explain, it could, as Noel pointed out, be misinterpreted as a glaring red flag rather than a playful opening line.
Just out of curiosity, @SteveEpperson, have you or anyone you know used the "blue horse" line before? If so, how did it go?
I love that that first thread post was thoughtful and detailed, but I couldn't help raising my eyebrows at the scenario of David asking Susan if she'd seen a blue horse around the church -- and her "giggling" in response.
I know it was just an example, and examples can be hard to come up with, but the comment about the "blue horse" would be more like something I would have gotten from the kids while working in the children's church. And the only time I would have "giggled" in response is if I were hearing it from a 7-year-old.
If a grown man said this to me, I would be concerned. Granted, I'm someone who spent two halves of my life in churches that were polar opposites -- ultra conservative WELS (Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod) and then the Assemblies of God, where there seemed to be a strong emphasis on recognizing and rebuking demons.
Now, I certainly wouldn't think the man had a demon or anything like that, but, being the overthinker that I am, I would definitely want to know WHY he was talking about blue horses and why they were appearing to him at church.
I know this probably sounds crazy in itself and some will say, "Silly Seoul, can't you just take a little joke?"
But I live in an area where alcohol and drug use is rampant, so as much of a party pooper as I might be, my very first concern would be whether or not this person was under the influence of something a bit more radical than just the Holy Spirit.
Granted, it COULD lead up to a very interesting and undoubtedly unforgettable introduction.
But if not given the time to properly explain, it could, as Noel pointed out, be misinterpreted as a glaring red flag rather than a playful opening line.
Just out of curiosity, @SteveEpperson, have you or anyone you know used the "blue horse" line before? If so, how did it go?
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Don't let anyone push you into doing things you're opposed to doing just to maintain a relationship is good advice. And guys having a dating budget before you meet that gold digging princess who is going to demand more and more money spent on her to prove you love her is a great idea.
But you need to be in charge of the pace of the relationship? The pace of the relationship is negotiated not dictated. Most men accused of sexual assault on dates could probably say they were just "taking charge of the pace of the relationship"
But you need to be in charge of the pace of the relationship? The pace of the relationship is negotiated not dictated. Most men accused of sexual assault on dates could probably say they were just "taking charge of the pace of the relationship"
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Excellent point. That's why I feel the pace needs to be much slower in Christian dating than what's happening in the secular world, where most women will dump the man if he doesn't initiate sex by the third date. Still, he needs to make his romantic intentions known early so she doesn't relegate him to the title of just another "male friend."
Also, concerning sexual assault, it makes an excellent case for flirting. If the man flirts with sexual innuendos and disgusting remarks about her body, she knows he may be dangerous. However, if he's lighthearted and thoughtful in his approach, being careful to be God-honoring in his speech, she will know it's okay to meet him in a public place for no more than an hour to get to know him. The first date should NEVER be where the man picks up the woman at her home. It should be in a mutually agreed location where there are lots of people around.
Also, concerning sexual assault, it makes an excellent case for flirting. If the man flirts with sexual innuendos and disgusting remarks about her body, she knows he may be dangerous. However, if he's lighthearted and thoughtful in his approach, being careful to be God-honoring in his speech, she will know it's okay to meet him in a public place for no more than an hour to get to know him. The first date should NEVER be where the man picks up the woman at her home. It should be in a mutually agreed location where there are lots of people around.
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